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Nobody ezpeztz za German Inquisizion
Noo, you got it wrong, it's the Peti Inquistion that no one expects :p

Hilarious how you snuck in a few "Z"'s right at crucial moments or someone could have labeled this AAR as "PG - 13"...though...I think it is already rated P for peti :D
 
Ohoh, I'm in trouble... Maybe time zo learn ze Zerman...;):D

Zou arz in Zome... Zearn ze Italian, zou zool!

Noo, you got it wrong, it's the Peti Inquistion that no one expects :p

Peti says that dressing in red makes him look fat...

Hilarious how you snuck in a few "Z"'s right at crucial moments or someone could have labeled this AAR as "PG - 13"...though...I think it is already rated P for peti :D

Actually, I think is "Z-rated". Zou know, zhit happenz...:D
 
Uh, heretics.
Go to the neighbour kingdom to find them. :p

Murmur of Anus shall die?

Murmur of Andus shall have a glorious role, if nothing happens.:D

Murmur of Anus, his evil twin, will appear in Boccacio's Decameron :rofl:
 
Ah, we can rest with peaceful minds, when we know that heretics are taken care of with German efficiency.


Can't you heretics even write properly? It's not zool, but Zuul. Like in: "There is no Kurty, only Zuul!"

And I think that we might need some exorcism to solve that little problem.
 
Chapter 26, 2ª Temporada
si gehalgad noma din


March 1st, 1214.

Inquisitor Konrad von Marburg: Gooz Morninz!
Lo Steiner: Again? Then, what comes now... zoog zorning, mister Inquisitor, ugly as and so on and so on und so weiter...
Inquisitor Konrad von Marburg: Meizer Kurtz, I'z found an zeretick!!
Lo Steiner (to himself): That's going wose... that fellow is an "z"-anarchist! (to von Marburg) Have you found Benny Hill, then!
Inquisitor Konrad von Marburg: What? No! Hez called Zeneral Zrant. He'z alwayz buzy doing zome eviliz zhing called "Modding"! That'z pure evil!
Lo Steiner: General Grant? A Heretic? Come on, man!
Inquisitor Konrad von Marburg: Haz I told zee zat we have enouz zood to zurn two hezeticks az ze zame zime? Zit, my azzent iz going wild!
Lo Steiner: Erm... Where did you say you wanted General Grant burnt?
Inquisitor Konrad von Marburg: Ezzelent...

Meanwhile, Heinrich Hohenstaufen, King of ze Zermans... erm... let's try again...

Meanwhile, Heinrich Hohenstaufen, King of Germany (good beer), Burgundy (good wine) and Italy (good pizzas OH YEAH! Peti! Stay quiet!)

Well, as I was saying, Meanwhile, Heinrich Hohenstaufen, etc, etc, etc, usw... suggested that it would be a good idea to Aragon to become it's ally. King Ramon agreed, it goes without saying, and, to enhance the merryment, made his son Fadrique as earl of Castellón on May 21. Just a weeks later, on middle June, the queen announced her pregnancy to the world.

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Lo Steiner: I smell a shit falling from heaven upon our bare heads, Peti.
Lo Peti: What?
Lo Steiner: Fadrique is as dumb as all the Baldrick clan together...
Lo Peti: I agree. Absolutely.
Lo Steiner: His father cannot stand him...
Lo Peti: The king neither.
Lo Steiner: Another joke of that kind and I cut your supply of pizzas for a month.
Lo Peti: ...
Lo Steiner: You got it. Good. Do you know what's going to take place if the newborn is a boy?
Lo Peti: With my supply of pizzas at stake, I don't dare to say a word.
Lo Steiner: Grmf... Well, if the baby is just a bit brighter than his old bro...
Lo Peti: That's not asking too much, methinks...
Lo Steiner: ...the heir is going to fall from the highest window...
Lo Peti: ...if he lands with his head, no problem. Nothing valuable would be lost
Lo Steiner: Some day...

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Murmur of Andus turned to the stranger in front of the old door. Two soldiers where there, protecting the entrance to the palace so Murmur said to the stranger:

-That's the door, your lordship. As I carry a weapon, I'm not allow to go yonder, but you will find the way without any difficulty. The chancellorship is at the end of the corridor.

-Thanks, my young friend -the stranger said, with a gentle and kind smile. Then, he crossed the door and entered into the palace. Behind him the door closed again. Murmur, standing still, had just met a legend. The heroe of his childood, Trekaddict of the Great Sword, one of the Six Brave Knights, as he was also called.
 
So where is Murmur of Anus going`?
Legend, Trekaddict?
Only for his anglophilia which gets already sickening!

Why don't you remove the kids head simply if he doesn't need it? :p
 
Don't you ever threaten Peti's pizza supply again :mad::p

Peti has a new weapon. Beware its power!

So where is Murmur of Anus going`?
Legend, Trekaddict?
Only for his anglophilia which gets already sickening!

Why don't you remove the kids head simply if he doesn't need it? :p

Murmur has done his function, now it's time for Trekaddict to prove that he can withstand hearing the name of Halifax!

About the kid... time will tell.
 
Haha for some reason this last update reminded me of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead XD
 
God has touched the prince, which is the reason why he does seems slow in the eyes of the people who don't understand the Divine matters. If the young Prince would suffer martyrdom in the hands of wretched Lord Steiner, I'm certain that he goes to Heaven, is clad in white robes and receives the martyr's palm.
 
Chapter 26, 2ª Temporada
And foryeue to us oure dettis


August 1st, 1214.

Inquisitor Konrad von Marburg: Gooz morning!
Lo Steiner: Good..
Inquisitor Konrad von Marburg: Meizer Kurtz, we muzt burn a heretic!
Lo Steiner: Really? That's new for...
Inquisitor Konrad von Marburg: He's called gaiasabre11 and he's always playing with little girls....
Lo Steiner: Well, but we could...
Inquisitor Konrad von Marburg: So we must burn him now.
Lo Steiner: Why are you so keen on...?
Inquisitor Konrad von Marburg: Burning hedetiks? That'z bekauze of Saint Burningdine said onze..
Lo Steiner: No that! Why are you so keen on not...?
Inquisitor Konrad von Marburg: On not allowing a hedetik to spread hiz evil kreed?
Lo Steiner: Jaffa kree, what the heck! I mean why are you so keen...
Inquisitor Konrad von Marburg: Who's that Mister JAffa Kree? A hedetik we must...
Lo Steiner: On not allowing me to finish a single sentence, what the zuck!
Inquisitor Konrad von Marburg: lol, I didn't notice it.
Lo Steiner: Well, that's really...
Inquisitor Konrad von Marburg: Annoying?
Lo Steiner: And horribly...
Inquisitor Konrad von Marburg: Enervating?
Lo Steiner: Son of ...
Inquisitor Konrad von Marburg: Bitch?
Lo Steiner: I'm going to pee...

To celebrate that everything was going fine, and to create the Catalan ruling elite that would rule the Catalanic Peninsula, king Ramon made his son Alfons d'Aragó, 15 years old, duke of Tejo and count of Lissabon, of Coimbra and of Alcacer do Sal, and made his mum, Sancha Alfonsez de Borgoña, duchess of Valencia and countess of Denia, Valencia, Mallorca and Castellón. Going on with his plans, he made Nuno Sanchez d'Aragó earl of (Peti) Niebla and of Cádiz, and Jaume d'Aragó earl of Granada and of Sevilla. But then he thought it a mistake, and said to Stenier:

King Ramon: Houston, we have a problem.
Lo Steiner: Not at all.
King Ramon:No?
Lo Steiner: Not really.
King Ramon: Are you kidding?
Lo Steiner: Thus we can create two kingdoms, Castille and Leon, diving the Peninsula from north to south, facing each other, willing to destroy his rival. And if this idea won't work, we can always shout the cold cry...
King Ramon: Desperta ferro? To hell with them?
Lo Steiner: No.
King Ramon: ...
Lo Steiner: They are hedeticks!!!!

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Lo Steiner: What the zuck!?!?! A Scotsman, earl of Plasencia? Duncan?
Lo Peti: Duffman?
Lo Steiner: Bad joke, Peti. You're in crisis...
Lo Peti: Chrissy Hines?
Lo Steiner: What? Pretenders?
Lo Peti: Supertramp?
Lo Steiner: Where is a good jolly stake when you need to burn someone?

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The waiting room of chancellor Olaus Petrus was a huge and almost empty area. Trekaddict felt instantly that no man, in spite of his power and money, would feel at ease there. All was thought and designed to humilliate the arrogant and powerful men. He had to wait, it was not other option.

Had it been other times, Trekaddict would have remained insolently upright, walking up and down, hand placed on his sword, with that arrogant mood that suited so fine the great noblemen of his country. But today the heroe could not afford such a behaviour, as he was in Rome to face dishonour and disgrace. With a heavy heart he was waiting for a holy man to help him. His future and his name depending on that.

Chancellor Petrus was an old friend and had promised him his face. During his early years, as both were young knights, they had crossed the sea to go on crusading. Now, the chancellor of the Pope and his possible successor, was obliged to meet him. After all, Trekaddict had saved his life two times.

Thus the knight was waiting for his humilliation to end.

He was wrong.
 
Count yourself lucky, Enewald...;)

Anyway, burn ze hedeticks!:D
 
Too bad trekkie is not reading this.:D
Nor gaiasabre... :p
Where am I??? :mad:

On the next update, if I remember.

Count yourself lucky, Enewald...;)

Anyway, burn ze hedeticks!:D

Yes, I'm doubting about Enewald's cameo. Where de you want to appear: with the Lord Inquisitor or in the story-within-the-story?
 
Aye, Can ye hear the sound of the bagpipes. Ye wee laddies can't resist the Scottish invasion.

Soon there will be taverns in all of Catalonia serving warm beer and deep fried Mars bars.

Now it's good time to invest, because the rude drunkards from the British Isles won't settle just for the Plasencian tourist resorts.
 
The humiliation continues? Whatever could increase the humiliation? Nah, nevermind, I know, but let's just not talk about it ;)

What's up with the flag of a tree and a ram. Does that strike fear into the hearts of men?