.
It was a sunny and quiet Sunday afternoon.
- ...This is awfully boooooooooooooring -Peti said.
- Well said -Judas Maccabeus added, with her eyes fixed in Steiner's neck.
- Thou art dead, Judas, thou can't be bored -Steiner retorted back.
- Guess who did it... -Peti added.
- Well, as "meizer" the Dead doesn't want to play his dead role, I'm going to give him some company... Peti, why are ye running away? Return, ye fool!!!! I'm not talking about dogs this time!!!!
Barcelona, early January, 1180.
The little kingdom was awakened by sad news:
Oh yeah! Errrr... what a silly accident, I meant
The king looked at Steiner. He wasn't pleased. At all. Anyway, he kept playing with his toy soldiers and his teddy bear...
-Who has killed my cousin? -he said with a threat in his voice.
Steiner smiled and answered back:
-Someone carrying a knife, your Majesty... well, now you...
My charming boy, so young, so quick in his judgements...
-Now I have to hear his heir to swore me the loalty oath, you fool!!!! -Alfons shouted, pointing at Steiner with his feeding bottle- And this ceremony is awfully boring! And it's sunday!
-Ey, ey, ey, wait, wait, your majesty... Heir? What the f... - Steiner couldn't believe his ears and rose from the chair, just to stood motionless and almost speechless- what the h... what are you talking about? An heir?
-Yes, that pretty silly man who is waiting outside!!!!
-This cannot be... -Steiner couldn't believe his ears- Jaume had not heir but you! For that reason I... well, you know what...
-This time the game has played with you, I'm afraid...
-Oh shit...
"Such a big amount of BB for nothing" -Peti thought.
Steiner, petrified by his failure.
Thus, as it was, this murder wasn't well received by the whole world, so Steiner and his boy king prepared for war. There were plenty of royal and noble cousins who may try to take advantage from the situation.
-My King! My King! We are at war!!!! -a messenger was shouting in the courtyard.
-What a surprise... -Steiner replied.
Well, it was a surprise, indeed. In this situation one would have thought that one of Alfons' counts may rebell, or one of his Christians neighbours...
But the Sheik of Majorca?
What the heck was he doing? Perhaps was Jaume of Empuries having some kind of uncommon relation with the Moor... Interesting...
So well... Alfons, while playing with his toys in the kindergarten, gathered his host, and, with his schoolmates, made a trip to Peninsular lands of the Sheik of Majorca, and conquered them, leaving the islands for the time being, as it was too expensive for the royal treasury.
-Steinerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!What the heck!!!! -Alfons shouted- All the conquered land went to my lords, not a single bit for me!!!! Steinerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!
"My Gosh... he's just a kid and drives me crazy... that must be some kind of punishment for killing Judas, I bet...
The southern lands, after my brief war.
-My King! My king! We must go on crusade, says the Pope! -the same messenger shouted again from the courtyard - AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!! -he shouted, when an arrow pierced his head.
Steiner, leaving the longbow aside, just sat down and began to consider the situation
"Wonderful -Steiner thought, while fighting not to cry-. A crusade... right now... could the Pope have waited a bit? Er... how long it will be till Henry VIII makes his move???"
So it was. The Pope asked to free Alexandria...
"Ey, ey, Poppie... that's me who pays the bill of the trip!!!! Luther, when art thou when one needs thee?!?!? Errr... what are those English doing here!!!! Hooligans, perhaps! Damned sangria, I knew that some day it will give me troubles"
Oh Lord... who needs them...
Summing up... this is the AD 1083. My boy, er, my king is 7 years old and I'm going to wait till he grows a bit. Otherwise, if I conquer anything it would be the nobility who takes the prize, so... Anyway, why I'm planning anything, if my plans never get anywhere...
So, stay tunned... The next dead may be you