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Thread: Lo Llibre dels Feyts - The Book of Deeds

  1. #201
    Pantomacatalasecesionanis ta

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    Quote Originally Posted by Murmurandus
    Thanks, there goes my lunch...
    Gosh, tell me it wasn't a pizza or Garfield is gonna kill me.

    Peti has discovered the spaghettis, so no problem...

    Quote Originally Posted by RGB
    And madness doesn't always have to be Sparta, Catalonia is often enough.
    Hey, just look at the neighbourhood we have! Spaniards in the west, French in the north! Weren't for the sea, we would have Italians too!

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!



    Quote Originally Posted by RGB
    By the way, the widow has a very expressive face.
    She's very emotive and sensitive, trust me.
    "Pequeño Padawan Kurtizacoal, por qué me has salido tan cabrón?" - me dijo mi Maestro.
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  2. #202
    Pantomacatalasecesionanis ta

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    Sorry, gentlemen

    for unwanted and unexpected technical problems, I'm with no access to the internet -perhaps for a long time-. So, temporally, I'm going to be unable to update this AAR.

    However, this doesn't mean that I'm not going to return to punish... er... to amaze you all

    PS: I miss you all, really. Specially Amona and Canonized and English Patriot, and Haardrade and... 's AAr.
    "Pequeño Padawan Kurtizacoal, por qué me has salido tan cabrón?" - me dijo mi Maestro.
    Palo Dixit: posible Anticristo, vacalentacialanonanista, Culé y Salido que provoca manifas por donde pasa.
    Palo Dixit redux: Escatológico bipolar

    AARs en curso o acabados -Ongoing and finished HoI2 AARs-
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  3. #203
    Crusader for Fun and Profit Murmurandus's Avatar
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    May you swiftly return.. Or not...
    "May the Earth tremble with Beer... euh, Fear"

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  4. #204
    Field Marshal Olaus Petrus's Avatar
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    I hope to see Judas and Cardinal Petrus back in action soon. Oh, and say my greetings to noble Peti.

    I was recently a month without Internet connection at home, which was very annoying and I hope that you won't have to be as long time without connection.
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  5. #205
    Þeoden Woody Man's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kurt_Steiner
    Sorry, gentlemen

    for unwanted and unexpected technical problems, I'm with no access to the internet -perhaps for a long time-. So, temporally, I'm going to be unable to update this AAR.

    However, this doesn't mean that I'm not going to return to punish... er... to amaze you all

    PS: I miss you all, really. Specially Amona and Canonized and English Patriot, and Haardrade and... 's AAr.
    Aww I'm touched , hope the technical problems aren't too problematic, see you soon!
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  6. #206
    Heartbreaker canonized's Avatar
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    Congratulations Kurt_Steiner ! I've named you this week's Character Writer of the Week !! Please head over to the thread and make a speech !
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  7. #207
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    I have some good nes: with the help of the Lord, I'll be back by early January, 2008.

    Keep your fingers crossed...
    "Pequeño Padawan Kurtizacoal, por qué me has salido tan cabrón?" - me dijo mi Maestro.
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  8. #208
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    Chapter 18th: Who said surprise?


    Well. The idea was to conquers Flanders. All the issue began some day that folskinger called Ned came to Barcelona to sing the praise of a beautiful Flemish damosel called Kylie Minogue, who had a kangaroo -that is, a big rat, as all the Flemish well-learned people know- as her pet (1). But the old king had died -what a moment to do so... and young Berenguer, the new king, wasn't in the mood.

    Neither was the nobility.

    Neither was Steiner.

    The same goes on about Peti, who was busy looking for a bok tittled "How too cook a good pizza with a kangaroo".



    Shits happen, as we all know. The beginning of this kingdom wasn't an exception. God old Kurt was asking about the state of his sin collection with the Royal Chancellor for Souls, Sins and Songs, the canonic Ized, Canonized for his most intimate friends, when bad news came to spoil the day.

    -My Lord Steiner!!!! There is a rebellion!!!!

    Steiner wasn't surprised, but Canonized was, as he expected a kind of Spanish Inquisition. However, what took place wasn't a Spanish Inquisition, but a civil war.

    The first to call for rebellion was the earl of Senussi, of the good old and almost extinct Ximenes line. Thus started to civil war of 1173. For the earl the was ended too early. And in a too bloddy way, as he found his head in the end of a pike, but you know, Steiner isn't know for the tender side of his behaviour, blessed be his dark heart.



    Hardly had the head lost everything for his neck upwards, the usual rebellions started. The duke of Toledo join the party in March, 1173, followed by the dukes of Saragossa and Fraconia ("Damned Franco", Steiner whispered, in a bad mood. "You can't rely on those petty galician generals". Nobody understood the reference, which make Steiner feel more bloody humoured. Well, Peti did understand him, but no one asked him...). Thus Steiner called for the royal host and made a free demostration on Germany about which was the difference between peace, war and total war.

    The Flemish Minogue, by the way, was on his "On a Bleak Night like this", when she arrived to Nurnberg the night when the loyal army sacked the city on his path to Franconia. Poor Mrs Minogue found herself locked in the very tent of our good old Steiner. There are no written records of what happened then, but it is said that the kangaroo and Peti didn't end in friendly terms.

    On March 11, the very next day of the mentioned night, Dietrich, former duke of Franconia, surrendered, once his army was annhilated until the last man by a sanginious loyal army. So, Dietrich saw of hiw titles of duke of Franconia and earl of Leinsengein went to Dietmar von Esselberg and Rudolf von Daun by the will of the young catalan king. Once the head of Dietrich ended in another pike, it could be hear the following dialogue.

    -I may be young, but I have a big pair of ...-the young king said.

    -Of pikes, my fair king? -the loyal Steiner asked.

    -Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr -so endeth Peti the conversation.



    In late march, Joan, earl of Hebrón, rebelled, just to be defeated, annhilitated, that is, the usual treatment, at the hands of Baró de Barcelona, duke of Palestine and loyal paladin of the king in the Holy Land. Meanwhile, there wre no news about Mrs Minogue and, during those days, it was hard to see Stenier. My Lord Canonized was quite scandalized by the rumours that suggested some kind of sinful carnal activity of our good loyal advicer and the owner of the kangarro, but, as nothing could be proved, Canonized used a wise method: to call his spiritual adviser, the Panzerkardinal De Witt.



    However, while Albarracin was cleaned of rebels, the Panzerkardinal De Witt and his loyal servant, Cardinal Olaus Petrus, couldn't help his perplex friend, as he was busy to solve a strange situation in Palestine. Eudes Murat, for marriage and luck, became king of Jerusalem. His first actions was to recognize Baró, duque of Palestine, as his overlord (2). Alàs, Baró didn't last very much on the flesh side of the world, and died. Thus his son Pere decided it was time to solve the problem of having a king as his vassal, and, knowing that Edues was awfully sad for the death of his lord, and being Pere a blessed soul full of humanism, the new duke of Palestine helped his vassal, the king of Jerusalem, to join his dead father, to alleviate him of the suffering of such an unexpected depart.

    Had Pere knew that the crown of Jerusalem wouldn't end on his head, but on the one of the young king Berenguer, perhaps wouldn't have been so quick to act...



    Old habits die hard, it is said... (3)

    Meanwhile, an odd kangaroo was saw jumping with a knife tied to his tail.

    -Pssst... Judas....

    -Tell me, cardinal...

    -I've a cunning idea to get rid of Steiner.

    -As cunning as the last one?

    -Even better.

    -Should I begin to run now?


    (1) After this comment, my head may fall, but there we go. I tend to joke about ANYTHING, so, my dear, brief and lovely Kylie couldn't be an exception. May the Lord forgiveth me and send me my dear Kylie to pay me a visit, as I'll be quite pleasured to ask for her gracious forgiveness, on hands and knees, if needed. Having said that, said remains.

    PS: Why the heck is Kylie Flemish? Because Australia hadn't been discovered yet, ye fool!!!!

    (2) Ok, any ideas? A king becoming vassal of a duke? A king becoming vassal a tall? What the heck is going on here? Should I blame my Flemish lady? Or her kangaroo, perhaps?

    (3) Now you tell me. If my dear Berenguer started the game as the king of Jerusalem, as the capture shows, what happened to have two kings of Jerusalem at the same time? Something smells rotten in Palestine, trust me.
    Last edited by Kurt_Steiner; 04-01-2008 at 17:38.
    "Pequeño Padawan Kurtizacoal, por qué me has salido tan cabrón?" - me dijo mi Maestro.
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  9. #209
    Heartbreaker canonized's Avatar
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    ROFL another rousing tale of strange debacles ; and you brought up my favourite topic , the SPANISH INQUISITION ! do I get to wear a red hat ? XD
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  10. #210
    Alien Space Bat Judas Maccabeus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kurt_Steiner
    "Damned Franco", Steiner whispered, in a bad mood. "You can't rely on those petty galician generals".
    Certainly not!


    -Should I begin to run now?
    I think I shall... *backs slowly away a few paces, then runs*
    SHEEP ARE THE FUTURE

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  11. #211
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    Quote Originally Posted by canonized
    ROFL another rousing tale of strange debacles ; and you brought up my favourite topic , the SPANISH INQUISITION ! do I get to wear a red hat ? XD
    Deblaces? Ey, those who rebelled didn't defeated me! About the Spanish Inquisition... you've given me an idea... About red... perhaps some red wild roses...

    Quote Originally Posted by Judas Maccabeus
    I think I shall... *backs slowly away a few paces, then runs*
    Too late, the Cardinal has his plan working at full steam...
    "Pequeño Padawan Kurtizacoal, por qué me has salido tan cabrón?" - me dijo mi Maestro.
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  12. #212
    Field Marshal DarkReborn's Avatar
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    Whoo, Go Zaragoza !

    That's for using a name of the Kingdom that you aren't!





    "A peaceful land, a quiet people. That has always been my rule, make it yours."
    LUX INVICTA - uncover the Imperishable Light! Breach the darkness!

  13. #213
    The Fuehrer of the Dance Mettermrck's Avatar
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    Canonized always excepts an Inquisition, Spanish or otherwise. What a zany post!

  14. #214
    Crusader for Fun and Profit Murmurandus's Avatar
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    Yaay, Kylie is Flemish!!
    "May the Earth tremble with Beer... euh, Fear"

    "Never change a winning avatar..."

    "Si hoc legere scis, nimium eruditionis habes."

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  15. #215
    Pantomacatalasecesionanis ta

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    Quote Originally Posted by DarkReborn
    Whoo, Go Zaragoza !

    That's for using a name of the Kingdom that you aren't!

    Well, Zaragoza was a charming city. Until the loyal army sacked it. Now is a charming pack of rubble So, you're right. Zaragoza is gone.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mettermrck
    Canonized always excepts an Inquisition, Spanish or otherwise. What a zany post!
    We shall see, we shall see...

    Quote Originally Posted by Murmurandus
    Yaay, Kylie is Flemish!!
    Well, I couldn't say she is Catalan. Otherwise someone could say I'm not only a declared Catalan imperalist conqueror but also an egotistical being. No one mentions the big rat, er... kangarooo, I see...
    "Pequeño Padawan Kurtizacoal, por qué me has salido tan cabrón?" - me dijo mi Maestro.
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  16. #216
    Crusader for Fun and Profit Murmurandus's Avatar
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    I got distracted...
    "May the Earth tremble with Beer... euh, Fear"

    "Never change a winning avatar..."

    "Si hoc legere scis, nimium eruditionis habes."

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  17. #217
    Field Marshal Olaus Petrus's Avatar
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    Two kings of Jerusalem?

    There can be only one!
    "Reddite ergo quae sunt Caesaris Caesari et quae sunt Dei Deo."

    -Iesus Nazarenus

  18. #218
    Pantomacatalasecesionanis ta

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    Quote Originally Posted by Olaus Petrus
    Two kings of Jerusalem?

    There can be only one!
    Why do you think that Eudes left this world so abruptly?

    McLeod was around to help...

    To all.

    With my job as a translator, I'm quite busy this days, so perhaps my updates will take some times... I apologize and I'll try to do my best...
    "Pequeño Padawan Kurtizacoal, por qué me has salido tan cabrón?" - me dijo mi Maestro.
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    Palo Dixit redux: Escatológico bipolar

    AARs en curso o acabados -Ongoing and finished HoI2 AARs-
    WritAAR of the Week:16-03-07/5-04-09/13-09-09/19-09-10/28-10-11 - Fan of the week 25-03-07/29-10-07/06-04-08/29-12-08/13-09-09 - Canonized 02-12-07 - Best Character WritAAR of the Week:03-04-09- Showcased 01-05-2010/10-12-2010 - Mi blog: Confesiones clandestinas: La sombra de un secreto (7) [Actualizado 01/08/2014]

  19. #219
    Lady General
    Darkest HourHearts of Iron IIIIron CrossSemper Fi

    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Dortmund, Germany
    Posts
    659
    nice. nice, what I have read so far.
    I especially liked the introduction, so... arrr... selfconfident... so, uuuhhh... sincere and earnest... so very, very crystalclear and sharply formulated.

    So , here I am, the great and beautiful millonaeress, with an instant wedding proposal, as bidden in post 1 of this amazing work.

    Please write right back to the following adress:

    Yossifa Stalina
    Council of Peoples Commissaras Building
    The Kremlin
    Moscow
    Union of Socialist Soviet Republics

    I will have built us a castle as well as a nice datcha immediately by some thousand political prisoners.
    And not to forget a playground for your pet. Does it eat meat too? Have some folks around who would love to be eaten alive, names Bulganin, Tuhchashewsky, and son on.

    Eagerly awaiting your reply,
    Yossifa
    One time writAAR of the week.
    One time best characterwritAAR of the week.
    For: CATWAR, an alternate USA AAR.

  20. #220
    Pantomacatalasecesionanis ta

    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Questing for the Black Shine...
    Posts
    17,942
    Blog Entries
    20
    Oh yeah! I knew that my orisons would be heard some day!

    By the way... now you've said hello I can give you a role (1) in this AAR... mmmh... a delicious lady... Cardinal Petrus will be delighted...


    (1) I was playing lately with this idea even if you hadn't say hello...
    "Pequeño Padawan Kurtizacoal, por qué me has salido tan cabrón?" - me dijo mi Maestro.
    Palo Dixit: posible Anticristo, vacalentacialanonanista, Culé y Salido que provoca manifas por donde pasa.
    Palo Dixit redux: Escatológico bipolar

    AARs en curso o acabados -Ongoing and finished HoI2 AARs-
    WritAAR of the Week:16-03-07/5-04-09/13-09-09/19-09-10/28-10-11 - Fan of the week 25-03-07/29-10-07/06-04-08/29-12-08/13-09-09 - Canonized 02-12-07 - Best Character WritAAR of the Week:03-04-09- Showcased 01-05-2010/10-12-2010 - Mi blog: Confesiones clandestinas: La sombra de un secreto (7) [Actualizado 01/08/2014]

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