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Thread: Timelines: What if Spain Failed to Control the World?

  1. #2021
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    Yes!
    A time-travelling hot-spring scene!!!!!

  2. #2022
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    Hot springs and sin? Rowr. Welcome to "Timelines: Late Night"
    "Being a freedom fighter, a force for good, it's a wonderful thing. You get to make your own hours, it looks good on a resume, but the pay sucks."

    My current AAR: Regents and Revenge - a CK2 one-shot

  3. #2023
    Heartbreaker canonized's Avatar
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    Judas Maccabeus: Thank you JM , I knew I could always count on you XD XD

    Avernite: Lara would definitely be on the younger side . Well , considering that by the end of the year they'll all be 18 , I suppose I'll let it pass XD Yes , birthday bashes at the hot spring ? I can manage that XD

    Kurt_Steiner ...

    Colossus_Crusher: XD yes yes .. it IS obligatory for any anime so I'll have to do it here .

    VILenin: Not you too , Mr. Lenin . Fan Service .. what a double edged sword !
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  4. #2024
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    pfft canonized, you can see my profile.

    But maybe we should put this discussion to rest, unless we want the tone of this AAR to be quite different from now on
    ICQ #331727773
    canonized on 11/08/2007

    Overall Best WW player is Avernite with 7 wins overall (Dec 2006-sometime 2007)

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    Jopi: I'll vote Avernite. He's a hard player to read, and therefore always dangerous.
    Avernite: Avernite is a very mean person because he always comes up with great ideas

  5. #2025
    Pantomacatalasecesionanis ta

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    Quote Originally Posted by canonized
    Kurt_Steiner ...
    I haven't say anything dirty, m'lord.

    Peti is watching me, just in case, anyway so don't worry.

    The spirit is strong, the flesh...covers the bones.
    Fan número uno de Ailee para el resto de la eternidad y un poco más.
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  6. #2026
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kurt_Steiner
    The spirit is strong, the flesh...covers the bones.
    Well put! Ok, I've switched my mind from "steamy shower" to "cold shower" and will disregard further inuendo (unless it's really good ).

    Quote Originally Posted by canonized
    VILenin: Not you too , Mr. Lenin . Fan Service .. what a double edged sword !
    It's your fault for showing me that concept pic of Isabella! Oh my poor, stolen innocence!
    "Being a freedom fighter, a force for good, it's a wonderful thing. You get to make your own hours, it looks good on a resume, but the pay sucks."

    My current AAR: Regents and Revenge - a CK2 one-shot

  7. #2027
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    Quote Originally Posted by VILenin
    Well put! Ok, I've switched my mind from "steamy shower" to "cold shower" and will disregard further inuendo (unless it's really good ).
    Nothing profane would get out of my lips.














    Peti has a gun in my neck, so who dares..
    Fan número uno de Ailee para el resto de la eternidad y un poco más.
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  8. #2028
    Heartbreaker canonized's Avatar
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    Avernite: Agreed XD

    Kurt_Steiner: ROFL so it does !

    VILenin: ROFL . Yes ... my plan is unfurling !

    Kurt_Steiner: We'll try our best not to get you killed , ole chum XD

    Interview going up in less than 3 hours as well as the launching of this month's INSTRUMENTALITY !
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  9. #2029
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    Managed to read a little more on this today, and I certainly have to say that the zombie appearance certainly surprised me. It seems to me that it's pretty clear that our dear friend ( ) Chopin has some ties to the occult, or at least to Things Man Was Not Meant To Know, but I'm betting that even he is simply part of a much larger conspiracy...

    Still plugging away at this
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  10. #2030
    Heartbreaker canonized's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Specialist290
    Managed to read a little more on this today, and I certainly have to say that the zombie appearance certainly surprised me. It seems to me that it's pretty clear that our dear friend ( ) Chopin has some ties to the occult, or at least to Things Man Was Not Meant To Know, but I'm betting that even he is simply part of a much larger conspiracy...

    Still plugging away at this
    I'm really really glad you like to comment as you read it really does make me happy ! So thank you for that and I hope your example will be taken up by others ! Haha , I think you'll be even more surprised at how Chopin and the Zombies fit into the story than you will be about the zombies themselves .
    DANGEROUS LIAISONS
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  11. #2031
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    You’ve Been Canonized!: Kurt_Steiner


    Good evening everyone and welcome to another installment of You’ve Been Canonized! our weekly interview segment on Timelines where we interview a patron author and get to know more about them, their thoughts on Timelines , and their current AAR or project ! If you’re new to the programme, I’m your host canonized author of Timelines: What if Spain Failed to Control the World? and today’s guest is Kurt_Steiner author of
    Lo Llibre dels Feyts - The Book of Deeds . Let's get to the questions !

    Part I: The Crazy Catalan
    Kurt (and Peti) lets us know about themselves !

    canonized: First , I'd like to thank you for coming on the programme it's definitely an honour for us ! Could you tell us a little bit about yourself for those who may not already know of you ?

    Kurt_Steiner: Oh, well, what can I say... As my friends would say about me, I used to be the Antichrist of the Spanish forum, but now I'm a tender lamb, so they just call me "a malign spirit" My not so friends... well... better don't ask them... In short, I'm a good boy who has the incredible ability to be unable to shut up when I should.

    canonized: Haha , well you mentioned being part of the Spanish forums , but you also trace your ethnic roots more specifically than that , could you tell us a little bit about your identity that you are so proud of ?

    Kurt_Steiner: Well, I'm the best part of the Spanish forum, to begin with. Modesty is not one my dominant features, as you my guess, but I cannot tell a lie -Peti, stop barking!!!! I hate when he behaves like that... Well, for me to be part of the Spanish forum is a quite curious situation, actually, as this forum is half made of people from America as well as from Spain, so, its label is awfully funny, so to speak. Also, being a Catalan born with some German and Castillian ancestors helps to make it more funnier, trust me. Some of my Spanish mates in the forum will laugh if they read this, but... I don't really care about national labels, actually. Having Castillian, Catalan and German blood in my veins makes me think that nationhoods are just labels, so I don't give much attention to it. Of course, if I have to take a label, err.... a nationhood, I choose to be Catalan -ey Spamiards, don't you love me right now? Of course they love me, they can say it now: you see, he's crazy, but he's a Catalan crazy, not a Spamiard one. I wonder if this interview is making any sense right now...

    canonized: Well certainly by now everyone should notice your particular comedic personality ! Furthermore , it shows in your writing as well . What inspires you to these eclectic sensibilities about humour ?

    Kurt_Steiner: I don't know, trust me. Since I was a kid a used to be a bit eccentric, just to sign me out of the mass. Why? I cannot tell, but I like it. Then, some day... it happened... I was, in some degree, quite normal, even if a bit eccentric and black-humour being... but... unexpectedly... nobody expects it, you know... one day, watching TV, I show one rendition of "Monty Python's Flying Circus". And... well... Here the change took place. When I saw Cardinal Ximenez I saw my future clearer than ever: I wanted to wear those red clothes!!! Er... not that... well... let's talk a bit serious. Watching Monty Python transformed my sense of humour. I cannot tell why, but it touched something inside of me. Since then, I cannot consider the world quite seriously -awfully I do, from time to time-. I try, I promise, but something in me is unable to be serious. I have to make a joke about almost everything -well, not everything. Some topics are sacred even for me. But, all in all, I'm some kind of cynic unable to trust the material world and the fallible human being. Oh, Peti, stop laughing, I'm deadly serious! You see, having a imaginary pet which is as cynical as me doesn't help at all.

    canonized: Haha , I see ! I am curious though , being English not your first language , what do you think of the English AARs and the English community in relation to the Spanish ?

    Kurt_Steiner: I love the English AARs. First because they are an excuse to keep my English reading -and writing- skills alive and because I can compare the different kind of styles that I find in the English and the Spanish communities. But what most puzzles me is the English OT, trust me. I don't know if it's because Spaniards are like that -or because they suffer, er... enjoy me- but there is a tendency to quarrel so fast -especially about politics... something that, in comparison, doesn’t happen in the English OT as often. Well, perhaps because I only took part in the English OT topics from time to time, now I think about it... But returning to the AARs, I love the different kind of styles. There is such incredible quality in both sides, that I wonder why the heck some people are so crazy to read ME! Seriously speaking, there is a lot of quality in both sides, really.

    Part II: Alternate Iberias
    Kurt lets us know what he thinks about Timelines !

    canonized: Haha , well my first question for this part is : How did you come upon Timelines and to read through it ?

    Kurt_Steiner: The first time was a long time ago, by sheer chance, in my random search for new AARs and well... I tried... I got confused by the back and forth of the story and got lost. Then life began to play its tricks on me and the reading pace slowed to be finally... so slow that it didn't move, poetically speaking. Then I knew I was going to be interviewed and my common sense, that is, Peti, suggested finishing reading. After all, what are 90 pages, more or less? Peti told me, what a cheek...

    canonized: What are your impressions after catching up ?

    Kurt_Steiner: Many. I must confess that I haven’t' found a similar AAR neither in the English nor in the Spanish section it's the most professional I've read, and I read a lot, and I have a very selective taste, but the highly complicated nature of the AAR in itself, the very intricate set of influences, references, cameos, I haven't found such an almost perfect -and I repeat again- and professional AAR, really. It's a bit hard to get used to it, by the way, but once you get it, it's an endless pleasure

    canonized: Being a Catalan , what kind of emotions did that bring up for you when reading the work ?

    Kurt_Steiner: hehehehe I knew it... When I saw the title my first thought was Oh shit... then, hey, not shit! Hey, shit, it's what if Spain hadn't conquered the world, so it had conquered. Let's cross fingers and hope that, in some unconscious way, there is a Catalan ruling Spain but no. there is not a single Catalan out there... shame on you, canonized... hehehe

    canonized: ROFL ! Well , as a special for our interview , I'll have a catalan character just for you in the upcoming future

    Kurt_Steiner: glad to know. I hope he manages not to get killed before saying in his first line

    canonized: Haha , no I won't be that mean !

    canonized: Despite not having Catalan characters , of the characters there , were there any that particularly spoke to you or affected you or that you liked ?

    Kurt_Steiner: Of course. Cardinal DeWitt kept my attention, as Isabella, but not in the same degree (some moment for shameless behaviour: we want the PanzerKardinal back!!!!!). Perhaps it was his German origin and my odd German ancestors, or his duality as a Prince of the Church and as a mighty Warrior, but he caught my attention as a whole. As for
    Isabella... well... I have the silly tendency to fix my attention in mysterious and beautiful ladies, so...

    canonized: Although you specialize in the comedic aspect of things , was it hard for you to keep up with the various mysteries goings on in the Timelines narrative ?

    Kurt_Steiner: No. Actually I love mystery. I like complicate stories with many readings, although I must confess that in the beginning I couldn't get it right, as it was quite different from the usual AAR, be it Spanish or English or Chinese. I like to read works that appeal to my brain and defy me to try a decodification, so to speak, of what they actually mean or intend

    canonized: Where would you like to see the story evolve from here ? What are your hopes for the future of Timelines ?

    Kurt_Steiner: I would like to have some of the characters of the first season to be back, as I have repeated both here and in the AAR itself. If I pay attention to my dark side, I would like to see Spain defeated and beaten to the ground, of course -the devil in me, you know... But I bet that you have something in store much better than anything I can dream of, so, let's just wait and see

    canonized: Do you have any guesses on what the Timepiece and Keys could be or how they work ?

    Kurt_Steiner: I suppose that it's some kind of time machine, or that it has some kind of power to change the current flow of time into something different. Er... what? Wait, Peti is talking. Oh no! No Peti, the Timepiece is not a huge source of pizzas!!!! Oh dear. He's absolute careless about the AAR right now... So, what is the Timepiece is? A source of enigmas, for sure...


    Part III: A Catalonian Comedy
    Kurt answers our questions about his current AAR !

    vacalentacialano says: Something I must confess, before this interview ends

    canonized: hm ?

    Kurt_Steiner: I must admit that I'm surprised about the success that my English AAR has, really. I am really surprised, not only because is quite visited and my readers enjoy it but I'm speechless for the support that my readers give me and how they have accepted when I turned some of them into characters in my AAR such a wonderful sense of humour and such complicity with me are the best prizes I could expect. So, in that sense, I'm awfully lucky of having them reading me, really. So, poor Judas and poor Kardinal Petrus who have suffered me sense of humor, and many others both in the Spanish and English sections, readers all, you're the best part of my AARs. As Oscar Wilde would have said, my readers have made a great show of good taste and wisdom reading and enjoying me, so, I can only agree with them.

    canonized: Naturally , the first thing that's obvious about your AAR is that it is an intermingling of history , profound and sometimes profane (haha) comedy , and some expert gameplay . How did you conceive to start with this project ?

    Kurt_Steiner: My fist intention was to emulate the first great AAR I found in a forum, the Hohenstaufen saga, by my master and teacher, the mighty and wonderful Obelixeke, in the Spanish AAR section. However, even if I'm able to clone something, I don't like just to copy. So I began to explain a story based on the family chosen, the house of Barcelona, and with the simple goal of making them rulers of the world and, of course, taking all the chances to make some laughs about it. Then, some day, I had the silly idea of making an alternative story about the main story... and some other day I had the brilliant idea of invading the English AARland with this alternative story. My only idea was just to see if I was able to do the same I was doing in Spanish. Not even that, I just wanted to test my English writing skills or perhaps just to see what happened and I got more than I expected, as I said earlier.

    canonized: A big part of the fun of your AAR is that you have a massive amount of characters pulled from other forumites and friends ; could you tell us a little about not only why you did it , but how it has affected your work afterward ?

    Kurt_Steiner: It was a silly idea. Dunno why, it just started in the Spanish main AAR, as a way to make the reader to be a bit of the story, and to, why not, play with them, seeing how far I could go with my puns and jokes, learning about them. How has it affected my work? It makes it harder, because I reached a point that I had almost tried everything. Then, some day, watching Apocalypse Now I thought... hey... So I tried and adapted it as a part of my aar, with my Spanish readers, and later on, with my English readers. And it got so well than I'm trying to find some inspiration to make it keep going, as a parallel story. I've tried some ways in the Spanish main story, but I didn't like the result, so I'm still searching for inspiration. While it comes, I'll do something that is quite usual in me: just to go on and trust that God sends some help

    canonized: Your work also is also permeated with what we talked about earlier ; your sense of humour and your Catalan-ness . Speaking of your sense of your humour first , the English style of slapstick comedy is very prevalent in this . Tell us a little bit about that , please .

    Kurt_Steiner: Perhaps is some kind of result of the British influence on me, as I have mentioned before. One of my first attempts on comedy was a comic adaptation, during my university days, of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Well, it was more than a excuse to put my classmates into an absurd story than anything else. I'm not very conscious of it, that is, I don't write thinking, now I'm going to put a bit of that here, and a bit of... no, it goes out just like that. Sometimes it has a good result, sometimes, well... sometimes is... different.

    canonized: Of the second part , of the Catalan influence , one can see that easily in the push for having counts and dukes only of Catalan stock ; share with us a little bit about this obsession ?

    Kurt_Steiner: Oh, it's a joke about me and history and Spain. As it history developed, Catalonia lost. We ended up having a Castillian set of rulers and finally got incorporated into Spain, to put it simply. So, my dark soul asketh itself one day: why not conquering THEM!? And I thought... what the heck... so, let's do it! But not just Castille. Let's turn the world Catalan. It was such a ... such a... such a STUPID idea, so CRAZY, so ABSURD that I LOVE it at the first sight. So, if Queen Victoria spread her empire around the world and her children among all the European royal house, I, Kurt Steiner, the silliest and craziest Catalan boy ever born I'll do the same in the Crusader Kings' universe or die in the effort. So, as I'm not going to die, I'll have to win, of course. Too cute to die so soon

    canonized: Could you give your fans any sneak peeks on who we might see in the upcoming weeks ? Any guests or special occurrences ?

    Kurt_Steiner: Good news... If God helps, I'll find some inspiration to make something better than I wrote till now. Bad news... no idea of what... In the present moment, the game is a bit... absurd... so I don't really know about what the future deserves about the parallel action, the play-within-the-play... well... let's say that I have some new ideas. If before meeting the Panzerkardinal I had my good Kardinal Petrus... just imagine which kind of perverse ideas I may have... Actually, I was going to introduce two of my favourite characters of my main Spanish AARs but I'm going to twist it a bit... So, stay tuned, because we're going to have a new character out there. And they are too good to miss them. And, as a good ladies, they won't forgive those who don't follow them closely... As I write this down, I'm giving shape to this new idea, so, don't expect me to explain everything now, for two simple reasons: A) it would spoil the surprise B) It... Peti, what are you doing!!! Peti!!!! Pet....

    Peti: I'm Peti, the good and loyal pet of this fool... Don't trust him: he has the idea, really, but he won't tell you anything for a reason: he has not the slightest idea of what he intends to do!

    Kurt_Steiner: Oh, thank you Peti, you know how to create mystery about something, don't you? Well, now I'm back, B) What Peti has told you, he's right. I have just a vague idea, so I cannot say anything but I'll try to keep the level and introduce a new reason for the actual readers to keep reading and for the new ones to join

    canonized: And lastly , do you have any plans for any future AARs ?

    Kurt_Steiner: I was thinking about an AAR based on my present game of the HOIDD, but I try to be wise and I'll try to finish the ones I'm carrying out, that are, shame on me, a bit outdated... I'm a bit busy right now -real life, writing a thread on the Spanish History section, some other issues...- but I'll try I don't want to have Judas or Olaus Petrus knocking on my door... hehehe

    canonized: Well thank you Kurt (and Peti) for this wonderful interview ! Very happy to have you both aboard . I’d like to thank our audience once again for tuning in this week and a special thank you to all the AARlander and INSTRUMENTALITY readers out there who are tuning in this month ! If you’d like to read more interviews , we host them every week at the thread so please come join us to know more about some of the patron authors ! We’ll be announcing the next interviewee on the thread this week as well . Good fight , good night !
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  12. #2032
    Pantomacatalasecesionanis ta

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    Well... the best part of all this interview is my pic...

    Peti, what a shameless dog you are...

    And you...

    You look fine...

    Thanks.
    Fan número uno de Ailee para el resto de la eternidad y un poco más.
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  13. #2033
    Field Marshal Avernite's Avatar
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    hmmm, pizza!

    Very interesting indeed, this Catalan's views. But I agree a bit, we get Germany and the Catalans get Iberia, and the rest we split with all the other fans?
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    Avernite: Avernite is a very mean person because he always comes up with great ideas

  14. #2034
    Þeoden Woody Man's Avatar
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    Haha! A very interesting interview indeed!

    Good to see Monty Python is still inspiring people!
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  15. #2035
    Roman LibrAARian comagoosie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by English Patriot
    Good to see Monty Python is still inspiring people!
    Sometimes not in the best of ways, but yes Monty still inspires people.
    Quote Originally Posted by Peti
    Don't trust him: he has the idea, really, but he won't tell you anything for a reason: he has not the slightest idea of what he intends to do!
    Best advice a dog, excuse me, imaginary dog (don't want to get them confused) has ever given. I should go out and get one especially one that is canonized. How much do they cost .

  16. #2036
    Heartbreaker canonized's Avatar
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    Kurt_Steiner: it was great to have you (both) on the chopping block XD

    Avernite: That reminds me ! Pizza over there in Europe is a bit different from pizza here in america right ? More thin crust as I recall ?

    English Patriot: I remember when I first watched the Holy Grail when I was in middle school . Didn't know there was anything like it before that .

    comagoosie: Thank you for reading the interview ! Haha yes , might be a bit on the pricey side . The usual price is your sanity XD
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  17. #2037
    The Fuehrer of the Dance Mettermrck's Avatar
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    Great interview, good to know from where Kurt was spawned.

    476 was just the beginning...
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  18. #2038
    Field Marshal Avernite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by canonized
    Avernite: That reminds me ! Pizza over there in Europe is a bit different from pizza here in america right ? More thin crust as I recall ?
    Yep, in fact, our supermarkets sell special 'American Pizzas'

    Twice as thick, twice as much topping, so it fills you nicely
    ICQ #331727773
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    Overall Best WW player is Avernite with 7 wins overall (Dec 2006-sometime 2007)

    jonti-h:No-one's perfect
    General Jac: Except Avernite , that's why I kill him every game

    Jopi: I'll vote Avernite. He's a hard player to read, and therefore always dangerous.
    Avernite: Avernite is a very mean person because he always comes up with great ideas

  19. #2039
    Heartbreaker canonized's Avatar
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    Mettermrck: LOL . Spawned . I would be a bit surprised but it almost sounds appropriate !

    Avernite: I also heard that there are no big gulps or super size drinks in Europe =( no ice either I heard =( .
    DANGEROUS LIAISONS
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  20. #2040
    Pantomacatalasecesionanis ta

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    Quote Originally Posted by Avernite
    hmmm, pizza!

    Very interesting indeed, this Catalan's views. But I agree a bit, we get Germany and the Catalans get Iberia, and the rest we split with all the other fans?
    mmmmh... better the Catalans having everything. we could share beers and botifarres (like a sausage, but better)

    Quote Originally Posted by English Patriot
    Good to see Monty Python is still inspiring people!
    More than you can imagine, trust me...

    Quote Originally Posted by comagoosie
    Best advice a dog, excuse me, imaginary dog (don't want to get them confused) has ever given. I should go out and get one especially one that is canonized. How much do they cost .
    Well, even if the Times says "Kurt Steiner", it's Peti the one who appears on it... so, somehow, Peti is not only an imaginary, but also a canonized dog.

    Wof

    Quote Originally Posted by Mettermrck
    Great interview, good to know from where Kurt was spawned.
    Don't tell it anybody, but I had a teacher called "Mari Pau" who I called (in his back, I don't kamikaze tendencies) "Mari Spawn".
    Fan número uno de Ailee para el resto de la eternidad y un poco más.
    "Pequeño Padawan Kurtizacoal, por qué me has salido tan cabrón?" - me dijo mi Maestro.
    Palo Dixit: posible Anticristo, vacalentacialanonanista, Culé y Salido que provoca manifas por donde pasa.
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