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Thread: Collage of CAARdinals: An interactive history of the Papal States

  1. #161
    Tzar of all the Soviets RGB's Avatar
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    Okay than I shall be the bronchitic pope. Expect the update sometime this week
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  2. #162
    Comrade Uzkiye Bryuki Emperor Ike's Avatar
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    So ill be the one to welcome you to the league of extraordinary pointyhats.
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  3. #163
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    tbh I'm utterly lost about what needs to be done to make sure the savegame is transferrable.

    Can someone do a really nice step-by-step, link-by-link guide for me? My own CK installation has been modded by me to the point where it's impossible to restore to vanilla status. If I simply superimpose the mods in the first post over that thing I have, how will that work?

    i.e. Please Enlighten A Trog.

    Other than that I'd love to be pope.
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    Duke of Bonbon, and also Chevalier Grand Croix of the Ordre Militaire du Saint Christophe.

  4. #164
    Comrade Uzkiye Bryuki Emperor Ike's Avatar
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    Okay first take back up from your current files and put them in a safe place then download these files.
    IP2 and Welsh mod
    Then just replace the old files with those and you have everything as it should be and then you only have to edit savefile so that the new pope is the controller of papacy and that papal state can be selected.
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  5. #165
    Crusader for Fun and Profit Murmurandus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phargle
    ...

    I like [these] short popes. They're very manageable.
    Please! It's a family forum, dammit...
    "May the Earth tremble with Beer... euh, Fear"

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  6. #166
    Field Marshal Llywelyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Murmurandus
    Please!
    Did something get edited or does this really make no sense?

    Quote Originally Posted by RGB
    Can someone do a really nice step-by-step, link-by-link guide for me?
    Ike is on the right track, but if you want a list
    1. Assuming you have the space on your hard drive, copy and paste your entire CK directory. Relabel it "I'm the Pope, b!atch" or something similar to remind you why it is there and to delete it after consumption.
    2. If you do not have enough space on your hard drive for step i, clear your internet cache, delete some of your unholy pr0n and Satanist rock .mp3s, and return to step i.
    3. Install IP2 over whatever other mods you may or may not have infested your once-virginal (if maddeningly bug-beridden) CK proggy with.
    4. Either install Drachenfire's Welsh mod next or simply use the dynasties.txt included with the save game.
    5. Do not download tmad's save game above, unless you want to edit it yourself. A tweaked out save game is available here. No fuss, no muss: just click on the Papal States under the Kingdom list. Ordelaffo's Italian but his old posting was Holstein, so he's essentially yet another German pope.

      Amusingly enough, he's a historical character, who apparently ended up on a different track from his RL stint as a Venetian doge. For what it's worth, it's just as well, since Venice is now an occupied Imperial city...
    Last edited by Llywelyn; 21-03-2007 at 13:04. Reason: fnord
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  7. #167
    Crusader for Fun and Profit Murmurandus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Llywelyn
    Did something get edited or does this really make no sense?



    ...
    Mmmm, I guess the lame joke sounded better in my head or so... Nothing to worry about, maybe phargle will get it...
    "May the Earth tremble with Beer... euh, Fear"

    "Never change a winning avatar..."

    "Si hoc legere scis, nimium eruditionis habes."

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  8. #168
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    Llewelyn - thank you enormously.

    Setting up the "I'm the pope-inator" folder right now.
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  9. #169
    Field Marshal phargle's Avatar
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    Sometimes, all we have time for is a short poping, Murmurandus.

  10. #170
    Spectre of Battle grayghost's Avatar

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    Nice job TM with Pope Innocentus...I think. Another Arab Kingdom bites the Papal dust so to speak.
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  11. #171
    Crusader for Fun and Profit Murmurandus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phargle
    Sometimes, all we have time for is a short poping, Murmurandus.
    Indeed, indeed...
    "May the Earth tremble with Beer... euh, Fear"

    "Never change a winning avatar..."

    "Si hoc legere scis, nimium eruditionis habes."

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  12. #172
    Covert Mastermind Demi Moderator Secret Master's Avatar
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    I just wanted to say I've been lurking for a few days, catching up on your work here. Good stuff, folks. In fact, it's so good, that you may notice an award for the AAR here.

    I encourage all the writers here to go and receive their accolades. Congratulations on the Weekly Showcase award.
    Last edited by Secret Master; 27-03-2007 at 05:15.
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  13. #173
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    That is nice!
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  14. #174
    Field Marshal Llywelyn's Avatar
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    Well, golly, shucks...

    Sure is right nice to be recognized from somethin' other than a mugshot!

    Thanks, y'all!
    j.
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  15. #175
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    Pope Faliero


    Dramatis Personae:

    Pope Gregory VI (Ordelafo Faliero), henceforth Pope
    Fra Bocconcino, the Pope’s Secretary
    Fra Barbaresco, the Pope’s confessor
    Fra Provolone, the Pope’s hanger-on, cause everyone needs one.
    A Messenger
    Ahmed, a Muslim Soldier in Pope Gregory’s army
    Bragadoccio, an Italian Soldier in the Pope’s army

    Introduction

    Here is, after so much delay, a tale
    Of one Gregorius Sextus,
    episcopus Romanus, who before being such
    was one Ordelafo Faliero of Holstein; it’s short –
    but quite dramatic. Its execution, I do hope, is skilful
    enough for you to grant me pardon
    for my quite shameless plug about my othAAR.
    From the ghosts of Shakespeare
    and Pushkin, in their graves unquiet,
    I ask no mercy, like they got none from me.
    As to the play itself: for reasons
    pertaining to forum rules and board layout mechanics
    no pictures will accompany my magnum opus.
    Instead, you must perforce
    click on the hyperlinks to see the illustrations.
    Enough preambles! Let us start as customary,
    in media res.

    A big, filthily ostentatious room in the Pope’s Rome residence. Pope is standing in front of the mirror, talking to himself, quite pleased.

    Pope:
    November the 14th, of the 1130th
    year of Our Dear Lord’s dominion.
    Oh what a splendid day, what splendid morning!
    They’ll mutter and they’ll scheme,
    but in the end, they will proclaim. Habemus Papam!
    You were a sickly youth when la Serenissima,
    your father’s fair domain, fell to the Germans.
    You saw your future dashed upon the jagged
    rocks of Billung greed. You joined the church.
    The ruling Pope did not forgive you your Venetian blood;
    he exiled you, may Satan bless his memory!
    And where? To the far north, where pizza ovens
    scarcely thaw the icicles. Away from Italy
    and off into the land of pickled herring.
    You rotted there, and caught a cold a year,
    until the day the illness had decided
    ‘twas not enough to merely occupy your body.
    No. It claimed a duchy there, and thence a kingdom
    Carved out with a warlike, generous hand,
    And dealt out fiefs unto afflictions lesser.
    Oh, but now look at you! A pope!
    What splendid hat! What splendid robes!
    What splendid splendour of this splendorous day!
    Even your sickly paleness is no issue.
    Nor skinny neck, nor Autumn years. Right now
    Ordelafo, you are the first, the greatest
    the most amazing man of Christendom.
    Of course the greedy growling German needs his bone;
    the Billung needs to be placated. The Pope
    in this benighted world is Emperor’s slave;
    or worse still, the hapless puppet
    of some upstart rustic from bucolic Corsica.
    I will appease the Hun by taking up a name
    that paints me as yet another German Peter,
    loyal to my Holsteiner bishopric. Well, Gregory the Sixth
    May well pretend to be a humble man of God,
    The Emperor’s good friend, and loyal backer.
    Indeed, pope Gregory may even well pretend
    that pickled herring’s to his liking. Pope Ordelafo,
    however, will one day, provided
    his life is long enough, ride in
    upon a richly panoplied horse right into Venice.
    And failing that, he will build up the holy might of Papal Statehood,
    so that one day another Faliero
    will do the same, and liberate his homeland,
    a Mitred Alexander.

    Enter Bocconcino

    Bocconcino:
    Your Popishness, my holy father,
    the rock of Christendom. You’ve been elected, right?
    They’ve handed in their ballots.
    We all await your first ex cathedra
    and it is getting rather stuffy in the hall.
    Ending this wait shall probably preserve
    the goodwill of the Cardinal college.
    They will be grateful to escape their neighbours
    the old men cannot stand the smell
    of one another; it makes them vexed. Now go
    urbi et orbi proclaim what the new Pope intends.
    Make it brief and wry, but not too clever,
    the audience might find it patronising.
    Don’t overstay your welcome. No-one
    likes hearing an overblown acceptance speech -
    And thanking God but once is quite sufficient.

    pauses, catches breath

    And don’t you think of thanking Satan
    There was one Pope who tried, and before long -
    - in fact quite before dinner - he was Antipope
    and two new Popes were waging war on him
    among the streets of Rome. It may seem like
    a good idea at the time, a riotous hoot
    But don’t. They take that seriously here.
    Now, now, don’t look at me that way. I’ve seen
    So many Popes elected and then die
    My observations are statistically proven.
    Now go and get them, holy tiger!

    Pope and Bocconcino exit. Behind the curtains one can hear the Pope say a short and to the point speech. There’s thunderous applause. You can almost hear the standing ovation, flag waving, and car horns.

    Pope comes back inside, takes off the mitre, pours himself a glass of wine.

    Pope:
    In truth, I find that being Pope is quite restrictive;
    Behold the wealth of Peter’s seat – it’s vast
    And yet my prestige seems a little low
    for such a mighty ruler. Too bad I can’t claim duchies
    and kingdoms too, for otherwise I’d well be duke of Carthage,
    Sicily and Algiers, and Neapolitan King, as well as Pope.
    And that’s not all! Look at my piety score!
    You’d think a Pope indeed deserves much better.

    Enter Provolone

    Provolone:
    Piety? Your Papacity - why not create some bishopricks? I’d like a spot.

    Pope:
    Believe me, I have tried. It must be hard-coded.

    Bocconcino enters from behind the curtain.

    Pope
    Hey, Bocconcino – why can’t I make bishops
    And hand out titles like some royal git?

    Bocconcino
    Your Papality – ‘tis so indeed because
    Papal bureaucracy has infinite efficiency. We can rule
    twenty thousand counties at a time
    and break no sweat.

    Pope
    Wherefore?

    Bocconcino
    God doth direct us in minutest detail
    in all we do; ‘tis He that guides the hand
    of every clerk in calculating profits;
    no job too small or tedious
    for God to supervise on the behalf of Peter’s throne.
    Quod erat demonstrandum, your Papaciousness.

    Provolone
    Indeed, indeed. Still, I would like to be a bishop-prince.

    Enter Barbaresco

    Pope (aside)
    Here’s some wine to go with the cheese

    to Barbaresco
    Is it that time of day again?

    Barbaresco:
    Yes, your Popeness.

    Pope to Bocconcino and Provolone
    Away, the two of you!

    Bocconcino and Provolone exit

    Pope:
    Forsooth, I know not why I am so sad…

    Barbaresco:
    Perhaps the usual, O Prince of Faith,
    a bit of the old self-doubting, a tiny tinge
    of mortal sin or two; or that old thing,
    ahem, you know, like what they say,
    “With wine and novices
    the Monk hath no need o’ the Devil”.
    I’m totally down with that, just so you know.
    I would absolve you in a jiffy.

    Pope:
    Nay, nay, not that. I meant to say,
    not all is peaceful in the Holy Kingdom.
    Sheer pragmatism has lead to mortal folly
    and tolerance of sin unnatural. For Alas!
    Sardinia is still posess’d by the undying Torcotore
    accursed by God to be unfit to cease
    the title even after death; while Trent
    and Sicily’s Crown, Palermo are in the hands
    of unrepentant reprobate Sieghard,
    whom the previous Pope, in all his wisdom
    had cast away from Mother Church’s ample bosom,
    but left him no worse off in temporal strength.
    But that’s not all. In Africa, I hear
    there’s whole entire counties
    worshipping Mohammad
    , and not paying taxes.
    Oh, but thou art heavy, Peter's Mitre!

    Barbaresco:
    The sins of omission are in God’s eyes
    still sins; and thus forgivable. Now, as penance
    I say you go and get those taxes flowing.
    Now I absolve you.

    Pope:
    Thank you, Frater.

    Barbaresco exits. Pope nods off on the chair.

    Thus ends Act the First. To hear more
    of our protagonist's Popish deeds
    pop in again into this selfsame thread
    Sometime before the next guy writes his piece.

    Much thanks for reading. Ta.
    Last edited by RGB; 27-03-2007 at 22:20.
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  16. #176
    Crusader for Fun and Profit Murmurandus's Avatar
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    Very nice!!
    "May the Earth tremble with Beer... euh, Fear"

    "Never change a winning avatar..."

    "Si hoc legere scis, nimium eruditionis habes."

    Ubisoft EUII 1.09 ~ Strategy First Victoria 1.04 ~ Paradox CK Deus Vult ~ Paradox HoI2 Doomsday ~ Paradox EUIII Complete ~ Paradox EU: Rome Gold

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  17. #177
    General JimboIX's Avatar

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    Nice contribution- I like the bit in the middle where the Pope laments the tragedy of hard-coding and the joys of infinite demesne, the context made them humorous. Gregory better hurry up- before he dies out of breath.

  18. #178
    On Probation thrashing mad's Avatar

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    Good funny stuff, I like way that you pointed out strange mechanics things.

  19. #179
    Field Marshal phargle's Avatar
    Crusader Kings II

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    Very tasty. I love it for a variety of reasons.

  20. #180
    Spectre of Battle grayghost's Avatar

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    Nice job RGB. Your intro was almost Phagleish in its tone.

    Oh, but thou art heavy, Peter's Mitre!
    Ain't that the truth.
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