I wanted to take a short break from my Tibetan grand campaign so here it is, the one, the only :
History as it should be
The shortest and probably lamest French AAR
Warsaw, 1st September 1939
Felicjan Sławoj-Składkowski : Oh noes ! The Germans attack us ! And our allies are at the far end of Europe !
Edward Rydz-Śmigły : Fortunately we can use our position as a buffer state to our advantage !
Felicjan Sławoj-Składkowski : You never quite understood what a buffer state was, did you ?
Metz, French headquarters
Edourad Daladier : General, can your troops enter Germany while carrying the bunkers of the Maginot Line on their backs ?
Maurice Gamelin : Of course not, what a silly idea.
Edourad Daladier : Then what are you waiting for to roll across the German border with your tanks ?!
Adolf Hitler : Who dares disturb the Führer in his personal study while he is absolutely not reading comics ?
Général Le Gentilhomme : Ah! Ah! Here we are at last ! Either you surrender !
Adolf Hitler : ... ? Either we surrender or WHAT ?
Général Le Gentilhomme : Muhahaha ! I love to torture you German maniacs of order with incomplete sentences ! It makes me feel like !
Adolf Hitler : ?... Aaaarg ! Damn you French devils !
Magistrate: Adolf Hitler, for your pathetic, half-witted attempt at committing a crime against peace, you’re hereby sentenced to personnaly visit every house in Poland and say that you’re sorry and promise not to do it again. And propose your help for eventual repairs.
Adolf Hitler: Isn’t that a bit harsh for one single man ?
Magistrate: Hermann Göring will accompany you.
Adolf Hitler: Uh, can I have death by hanging instead ?
Magistrate: Shut up and start walking.
Edward Rydz-Śmigły : Thank God you’ve arrived ! It was getting really hot around here, I thought you would never make it on time !
Maréchal Juin : Ah! Don’t be kidding, we’re the French Army, we always arrive on time to save the day !
All French and Polish soldiers (holding hands): Kumbaya, my Lord ! Kumbaya !
Sitted on the border of a road, nearby, cooking beans on a camp fire...
Rudolf Hess : My feet are killing me. But now we only have to say “sorry” 15.458.913 more times.
Adolf Hitler : Someday I will have my revenge !
Rudolf Hess : Isn’t that what you said last time already ?
Hermann Göring : Adolf, if you’re not eating, do you mind if I finish your beans ?