Real Men Do It Alphabetically: An AARgau
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Alright now they're just making up these province names.
This is the province of Aral. As it turned out that instead of being owned by the Emirate of Khwarizm, which is gray, it was annexed along with the entire region of Transoxania by the Kingdom of Hungary, which is the exact same shade of gray, and all of this happened without my notice because they are both the same exact damn shade of gray.
And I don't know why you guys think this is a cliffhanger. It was really close though, as they had rejected my offers right up until their siege was in the red.
I continue to use the death of Wilhelm's spouses to net me high-Diplo Chancelloresses because I really need that Diplo to keep those vassals in line!
And time to claim.
As you can see despite fighting wars with its immediate neighbor the Kingdom of Germany, the Kingdom of Hungary has for some inexplicable reason decided to keep half of their entire army in Aral. Which is only fair because in the past few years I've been collecting half of my entire army in the two provinces adjacent to Aral.
And since I can get this at the same time here's Ar'ar and the jerk who owns Ar'ar.
If I lose this battle it will suck because every province in a five-hundred-mile radius has been tapped of troops and the guys who retreat will pretty much all die of attrition.
Which is why it's a good thing that losing is not part of our vocabulary!
Here you can see the Aral-owner agreeing to give up Aral while the parts of my attrited army that I did not yet disband chase down Hungarian remnants at Emba.
I ended up losing Emba badly but on the bright side two anonymous-led regiments have managed to capture Ar'ar with absolutely no opposition whatsoever.
There's even a province called 'Asas' coming up which cannot be real. Also the badboy situation is really hurting a lot but don't worry because in the next update there will be a gameplay trick so vile and underhanded that the more principled readers will simply quit reading in disgust. Watch in amazement as Johann goes after a foe that causes the Abydosan duke to wet himself . . . next in the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
Chapter 53: Aral & Arar
As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.
(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer transmitted sexually from phargle's
Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))
1182
As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.
(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer transmitted sexually from phargle's
Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))
1182
Code:
[b][color=lime] Aargau ✓
Abauj ✓
Abkhazia ✓
Abydos ✓
Achaia ✓
Acre ✓
Adana ✓
Adrianopolis ✓
Agder ✓
Agen ✓
Agrigento ✓
Aintab ✓
Akershus ✓
Al Alamayn ✓
Al Amarah ✓
Al 'Aqabah ✓
Al Bichri ✓
Al Djazair ✓
Al Habbariyah ✓
Al Hasa ✓
Al Jawf ✓
Al Jazira ✓
Al Mafraq ✓
Al Miqdadiyah ✓
Al Nadjaf ✓
Al Nasiryah ✓
Åland ✓
Alania ✓
Albania ✓
Albarracin ✓
Albret ✓
Alcacer do Sal ✓
Alcantara ✓
Aleppo ✓
Alexandretta ✓
Alexandria ✓
Algeciras ✓
Almansa ✓
Almeria ✓
Altmark ✓
Amida ✓
Amiens ✓
Amisos ✓
Amman ✓
Ancona ✓
Andernach ✓
Ångermanland ✓
Angouleme ✓
Angus ✓
Anhalt ✓
Ani ✓
Anjou ✓
Ankyra ✓
Annaba ✓
Ansbach ✓
Anti-Atlas ✓
Antiocheia ✓
Apulia ✓
Aquileia ✓
Aracena ✓[/color]
[color=yellow]Aral
Ar'ar[/color][/b]
Arborea
Archa
Argyll
Armagnac
Arques
Árta
Artois
Asas
Ascalon
Asturias de Oviedo
Asturias de Santillana
Aswan
Asyut
Atheniai
Atholl
Atlas Mnt
Attaleia
Aukshayts
Austisland
Auvergne
Auxerre
Avhaz
Avranches
Az Zarqa
Azerbaijan
Azov
Baalbek
Bacs
Badajoz
Baden
Baghdad
Bahrein
Barcelona
Bari
Bashkirs
Basra
Bearn
Bedford
Beersheb
Beirut
Bejaija
Belgorod
Belgrade
Beloozero
Benevento
Benghazi
Beni Yanni
Bereg
Beresty
Bergenshus
Bern
Berwick
Besancon
Bezhetsky Verh
Bihar
Bilyar
Bira
Birlad
Biskra
Bizerte
Bjarmia
Black Clobucks
Blois
Bologna
Bordeaux
Bornholm
Boulogne
Bourbon
Bourges
Brabant
Braganza
Brandenburg
Braunschweig
Breda
Breisgau
Bremen
Brescia
Bristol
Brugge
Bryansk
Buchan
Buhairya
Bukhara
Bulgar
Burgos
Burtasy
Byzantion
Caceres
Cadiz
Cagliari
Cairo
Caithness
Calatayud
Calatrava
Canarias
Capua
Carcassonne
Carrick
Castellon
Castelo Branco
Cebta
Celle
Chaldea
Chalkidike
Chalons
Chandax
Charolais
Chartres
Cheb
Chelminskie
Chernigov
Cherson
Chester
Chortitza
Chud
Chur
Chuvash
Cieszyn
Coimbra
Compostela
Consenza
Constantia
Constantine
Cordoba
Corfu
Cornouaille
Cornwall
Corsica
Cremona
Crimea
Csanad
Cuenca
Cumberland
Cyrenaica
Czersk
Dailam
Dal
Dalarna
Damascus
Damman
Danzig
Darab
Darum
Dauphine Viennois
Deir
Delta
Demetrias
Denia
Derbent
Derby
Desht-i-Kipchak
Desmumu
Devon
Dihistan
Dijon
Djerba
Don portage
Dorostotum
Dorpat
Dorset
Dorylaion
Druz
Dublin
Durham
Dwin
Dyfed
Dyrrachion
Edessa
Eilat
El Bierzo
El Rif
El-Arish
Emba
Empuries
Ephesos
Épieros
Esfahan
Essex
Esztergom
Eu
Euboia
Euphrates
Evora
Evreux
Exeter
Faereyar
Famagusta
Farama
Faro
Fars
Feher
Fejer
Ferrara
Fes
Fife
Figuig
Finland
Finnveden
Firenze
Foggia
Foix
Forcalquier
Forez
Franken
Frisia
Fürstenberg
Fyn
Gabes
Gabiyaha
Galatia
Galaz
Galich
Galich Mersky
Galindia
Galloway
Galway
Gästrikland
Gelre
Gemer
Geneve
Genoa
Gent
Gevaudan
Gilan
Gizeh
Glamorgan
Gloucester
Gnieznienskie
Gorodez
Gotland
Göttingen
Granada
Grassland Cheremisa
Grisons
Guines
Gurgan
Guria
Gwent
Gwynedd
Hainaut
Halland
Hålogaland
Hälsingland
Hama
Hamadan
Hamburg
Hampshire
Hanyan
Hdemark
Hebron
Hellas
Hendjan
Herakleia
Hereford
Herjedalen
Heves
Hijaz
Hlynov
Holland
Holstein
Homs
Hormuz
Hradec Kralove
Hum
Ifni
Ikonion
Ilam
Ile de France
Imeretia
Infa
Innsbruck
Irbid
Isle of Man
Istria
Itil
Jaca
Jacwiez
Jaffa
Jamtland
Jerusalem
Jülich
Jylland
Kabilia
Kairwan
Kaisereia
Kajanaborg
Kakheti
Kaliopolis
Kaliskie
Kalmar Län
Kama
Kaneia
Kara-Kum
Karbala
Karelen
Karin
Kärnten
Kartli
Karvuna
Kasogs
Kemi
Kempten
Kent
Kerak
Kerman
Kexholm
Khopyor
Khorasan
Khozistan
Khwarizm
Kiev
Kirkuk
Kleve
Kola
Köln
Kolomna
Koloneia
Korchev
Korinthos
Korsun
Kostroma
Krain
Krakowskie
Krizevci
Kuban
Kufa
Kujawy
Kuma
Kurdistan
Kurs
Kuwait
Kyzikos
La Mancha
La Marche
Labourd
Laigin
Lancaster
Laodikeia
Lappland
Laristan
Lausitz
Lecce
Leicester
Leiningen
Lemdiyya
Leon
Leon
Leptis Magna
Lesbos
Lettigalians
Liberec
Liege
Limisol
Limousin
Lincoln
Lisboa
Livorno
Livs
Lleida
Lombardia
Loon
Lorraine
Lothian
Lower Dniepr
Lower Don
Lower Silesia
Lower Volga
Lübeck
Lubusz
Lucca
Lukomorie
Lüneburg
Luristan
Lusignan
Lut
Luxembourg
Lykandos
Lykia
Lyon
Lyubech
Maan
Macon
Madaba
Mahdia
Maine
Mainz
Malaga
Mallorca
Malta
Mangyshlak
Mantua
Manupura
Manych
Mar
Marienburg
Marmaros
Marrakech
Massat
Maverannahr
Mayo
Mazandaran
Mecca
Mecklemburg
Medelpad
Medina
Medjerda
Meissen
Melitene
Memel
Menorca
Mertola
Merv
Merya
Mesembria
Mesopotamia
Messina
Methone
Metz
Mide
Minsk
Modena
Molina
Monemvasia
Monferrato
Monreal
Montpellier
Morava
Moray
Mordva
Moskva
Mosul
Mountain Cheremisa
Mozhaysk
Mstislavl
Münster
Murcia
Murom
Mzab
Naissus
Nantes
Napoli
Narbonne
Närke
Narva
Nassau
Naumadal
Navarra
Naxos
Negev
Neuchatel
Nevers
Nice
Niebla
Niederbayern
Nikaea
Nikomedeia
Nikopolis
Nishapur
Nisibin
Nitra
Nizhny Novgorod
Nordgau
Norfolk
North Dvina
Northampton
Northumberland
Novgorod
Novgorod Seversky
Nubia
Nürnberg
Nyland
Oberbayern
Ochrid
Oka
Öland
Oldenburg
Oleshye
Olvia
Onega
Onega
Opava
Opole
Oppland
Orania
Orava
Orbetello
Orkney
Orleans
Oromieh
Orsha
Orvieto
Ösel
Osnabrück
Osraige
Österbotten
Östergötland
Österreich
Ostfriesland
Ostrava
Oxford
Padova
Palermo
Palmyra
Paphlagonia
Parma
Passau
Pavia
Pecs
Pelusia
Penthievre
Peremyshl
Peresechen
Pereyaslavl
Pereyaslavl Zalessky
Perfeddwlad
Perigord
Pest
Petra
Pfalz
Philippopolis
Piemonte
Pinsk
Piombino
Pksov
Plasencia
Plauen
Plock
Plzen
Podlasie
Poitiers
Polotsk
Porto
Powys
Poznanskie
Praha
Pressburg
Pronsk
Provence
Prusa
Qazwin
Qohistan
Qom
Quattara
Quena
Qwivir
Ragusa
Rama
Rashka
Ravenna
Rayy
Reggio
Reims
Rennes
Reval
Rhodos
Rioja
Rogaland
Roma
Romny
Rosello
Ross
Rostock
Rostov
Rouergue
Rügen
Rummah
Ryazan
Ryn Desert
Sacz
Safed
Saintois
Saintonge
Salamanca
Salerno
Salisbury
Saluces
Salzburg
Sambia
Samos
Samoyeds
Sandomierskie
Santiago
Saray
Saris
Sarkel
Sarpa
Sarqihya
Satakunta
Savoie
Savolaks
Scalovia
Schwaben
Schwyz
Seleukeia
Semender
Senj
Senoussi
Sens
Serdica
Severin
Sevilla
Sharukan
Shemakha
Shetland
Shiraz
Shirvan
Shrewsbury
Siena
Sieradzko-Leczyckie
Silves
Sinai
Sinjar
Sinope
Siracusa
Sistan
Sjaelland
Skåne
Slesvig
Sligo
Slupsk
Småland
Smolensk
Smyrna
Snassen
Södermanland
Somerset
Sopron
Soria
Southern Ural
Sozopolis
Split
Spoleto
St. Gallen
Starya Russa
Steiermark
Stettin
Sticht
Strathclyde
Strymon
Sudan
Sudovia
Suenik
Suffolk
Sugrov
Sundgau
Surrey
Sussex
Sutherland
Suwaida
Suzdal
Syria
Syrj
Syrt
Syrte
Szekelyföld
Szekezfehervar
Tabaristan
Tabriz
Tabuk
Tadmor
Tana
Tangiers
Tao
Taranto
Taron
Tarragona
Tarsos
Tavasts
Telemark
Tell Atlas
Tell Bashir
Teluch
Temes
Terebovl
Terra Incognita
Tharasset
Theodosia
Theodosiopolis
Thessalia
Thessalonike
Thouars
Thrake
Thüringen
Tiberias
Tigris
Tir Connail
Tir Eoghain
Tirgoviste
Tirol
Tlemcen
Tmutarakan
Tobruk
Toledo
Torki
Tortosa
Torzhok
Toulouse
Tourraine
Trans-portage
Trapani
Trapezous
Trencín
Trent
Treviso
Tripoli
Tripolitana
Trøndelag
Troyes
Tuadmumu
Tunis
Turkmen
Turnu
Turov
Tver
Tyana
Tyrnovo
Tyrus
Uglich
Ugra
Ulaid
Ulm
Unused
Upper Silesia
Uppland
Urbino
Urgell
Urmumu
Usora
Usti nad Labem
Usturt
Uzens
Valais
Valencia
Valladolid
Vannes
Varadzin
Värmland
Vas
Vaspurakan
Västerbotten
Västergötland
Västmanland
Veglia
Velikiye Luki
Veliky Ustug
Venaissin
Vendome
Venezia
Verdun
Vermandois
Verona
Vestfold
Vestisland
Vexin
Viborg
Vidin
Viken
Viscaya
Vitebsk
Viviers
Vladimir
Vladimir Volynsky
Vodi
Vologda
Votyaki
Vyazma
Warwick
Weimar
Werle
West Dvina
Western Isles
Westfriesland
Westmorland
Wolgast
Württemberg
Yaik
Yaroslavl
Yatvyagi
Yazd
Yegorlyk
York
Yperen
Zachlumia
Zadar
Zagreb
Zamora
Zaozerye
Zaragoza
Zeeland
Zemigalians
Zeta
Zhmud
ZyrianeThis is the province of Aral. As it turned out that instead of being owned by the Emirate of Khwarizm, which is gray, it was annexed along with the entire region of Transoxania by the Kingdom of Hungary, which is the exact same shade of gray, and all of this happened without my notice because they are both the same exact damn shade of gray.
And I don't know why you guys think this is a cliffhanger. It was really close though, as they had rejected my offers right up until their siege was in the red.
I continue to use the death of Wilhelm's spouses to net me high-Diplo Chancelloresses because I really need that Diplo to keep those vassals in line!
And time to claim.
As you can see despite fighting wars with its immediate neighbor the Kingdom of Germany, the Kingdom of Hungary has for some inexplicable reason decided to keep half of their entire army in Aral. Which is only fair because in the past few years I've been collecting half of my entire army in the two provinces adjacent to Aral.
And since I can get this at the same time here's Ar'ar and the jerk who owns Ar'ar.
If I lose this battle it will suck because every province in a five-hundred-mile radius has been tapped of troops and the guys who retreat will pretty much all die of attrition.
Which is why it's a good thing that losing is not part of our vocabulary!
Here you can see the Aral-owner agreeing to give up Aral while the parts of my attrited army that I did not yet disband chase down Hungarian remnants at Emba.
I ended up losing Emba badly but on the bright side two anonymous-led regiments have managed to capture Ar'ar with absolutely no opposition whatsoever.
There's even a province called 'Asas' coming up which cannot be real. Also the badboy situation is really hurting a lot but don't worry because in the next update there will be a gameplay trick so vile and underhanded that the more principled readers will simply quit reading in disgust. Watch in amazement as Johann goes after a foe that causes the Abydosan duke to wet himself . . . next in the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
anonymous4401 said:
It's not in Alfredo's dictionary, but Johann is the author of the famous dictionary "Crushing Defeat: Synonyms for when your army has lost ... again".
It seems that the duke have picked up the latest gift for the self made maniac, "How to win symphanty by killing your courtiers"; by A Real Bastard.
Anon, are you sure you're not cloning the provinces to make the AAR seem longer? 
Wait...did you just marry Wilhelm to some hot Muslim chick? Can you even do that in CK?Well, obviously you can...but wow, the Pope freaks out if a Muslim is running the army...I can't imagine the result if a Muslim was coming to Thanksgiving dinner!
Thanksgiving is a pretty heathen holiday by both Muslim and Christian standards really, so I wouldn't worry too much about that.
Charle_88 said:
Clearly someone doesn't remember Matthew 12:18 - "And the Lord Saidith, Let there be Cranberry Sauce and festive hats and comically shaped firearms. And let the Natives of this new World bringith forth much bounty to be consumed such as Sweet Potatoes, Honey-Baked Hams and Collard Greens, but letith them do so quickly because those comically shaped firearms wilst not just be aimed at turkeys for very long."
A gameplay trick so vile - you'll get out of updating this monster AAR and retire to Tibet. I've heard of Hungarians spreading across the map, but not seen Hungary doing much expansion itself. This is a new departure.
Johann still going strong? He must be getting on in years. it seems like forever that he's been part of the here yAARn.
Johann still going strong? He must be getting on in years. it seems like forever that he's been part of the here yAARn.
Habsburg vs. Habsburg.
This is the province of Arborea.
You may remember that it belongs to LUdwig von Habsburg a brother of Johann by way of his mother being Stefan's third wife and daughter of the former Count Trochitorno or however it was spelled.
I am vengeance. I am the night.
Sadly it turns out that this daughter gives away any title after her third to a courtier.
Well it was worth a shot.
Surely this will be enough?
Well that takes care of that. The Badajozs were eager to see the light after Alfonso beat up a few of their regiments.
Oh for the love of
Well at least we'll win in Arborea. Hey where did these extra enemies come from?
Well that sucks.
Looks like another go will be needed. Also I guess the really dirty and underhanded trick was in the update after this one. All will be revealed when the adventures of Johann von Habsburg continue in the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
Chapter 54: Arborea
As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.
(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer won fairly from phargle's
Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))
1182-1183
As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.
(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer won fairly from phargle's
Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))
1182-1183
Code:
[b][color=lime] Aargau ✓
Abauj ✓
Abkhazia ✓
Abydos ✓
Achaia ✓
Acre ✓
Adana ✓
Adrianopolis ✓
Agder ✓
Agen ✓
Agrigento ✓
Aintab ✓
Akershus ✓
Al Alamayn ✓
Al Amarah ✓
Al 'Aqabah ✓
Al Bichri ✓
Al Djazair ✓
Al Habbariyah ✓
Al Hasa ✓
Al Jawf ✓
Al Jazira ✓
Al Mafraq ✓
Al Miqdadiyah ✓
Al Nadjaf ✓
Al Nasiryah ✓
Åland ✓
Alania ✓
Albania ✓
Albarracin ✓
Albret ✓
Alcacer do Sal ✓
Alcantara ✓
Aleppo ✓
Alexandretta ✓
Alexandria ✓
Algeciras ✓
Almansa ✓
Almeria ✓
Altmark ✓
Amida ✓
Amiens ✓
Amisos ✓
Amman ✓
Ancona ✓
Andernach ✓
Ångermanland ✓
Angouleme ✓
Angus ✓
Anhalt ✓
Ani ✓
Anjou ✓
Ankyra ✓
Annaba ✓
Ansbach ✓
Anti-Atlas ✓
Antiocheia ✓
Apulia ✓
Aquileia ✓
Aracena ✓
Aral ✓
Ar'ar ✓[/color]
[color=yellow]Arborea[/color][/b]
Archa
Argyll
Armagnac
Arques
Árta
Artois
Asas
Ascalon
Asturias de Oviedo
Asturias de Santillana
Aswan
Asyut
Atheniai
Atholl
Atlas Mnt
Attaleia
Aukshayts
Austisland
Auvergne
Auxerre
Avhaz
Avranches
Az Zarqa
Azerbaijan
Azov
Baalbek
Bacs
Badajoz
Baden
Baghdad
Bahrein
Barcelona
Bari
Bashkirs
Basra
Bearn
Bedford
Beersheb
Beirut
Bejaija
Belgorod
Belgrade
Beloozero
Benevento
Benghazi
Beni Yanni
Bereg
Beresty
Bergenshus
Bern
Berwick
Besancon
Bezhetsky Verh
Bihar
Bilyar
Bira
Birlad
Biskra
Bizerte
Bjarmia
Black Clobucks
Blois
Bologna
Bordeaux
Bornholm
Boulogne
Bourbon
Bourges
Brabant
Braganza
Brandenburg
Braunschweig
Breda
Breisgau
Bremen
Brescia
Bristol
Brugge
Bryansk
Buchan
Buhairya
Bukhara
Bulgar
Burgos
Burtasy
Byzantion
Caceres
Cadiz
Cagliari
Cairo
Caithness
Calatayud
Calatrava
Canarias
Capua
Carcassonne
Carrick
Castellon
Castelo Branco
Cebta
Celle
Chaldea
Chalkidike
Chalons
Chandax
Charolais
Chartres
Cheb
Chelminskie
Chernigov
Cherson
Chester
Chortitza
Chud
Chur
Chuvash
Cieszyn
Coimbra
Compostela
Consenza
Constantia
Constantine
Cordoba
Corfu
Cornouaille
Cornwall
Corsica
Cremona
Crimea
Csanad
Cuenca
Cumberland
Cyrenaica
Czersk
Dailam
Dal
Dalarna
Damascus
Damman
Danzig
Darab
Darum
Dauphine Viennois
Deir
Delta
Demetrias
Denia
Derbent
Derby
Desht-i-Kipchak
Desmumu
Devon
Dihistan
Dijon
Djerba
Don portage
Dorostotum
Dorpat
Dorset
Dorylaion
Druz
Dublin
Durham
Dwin
Dyfed
Dyrrachion
Edessa
Eilat
El Bierzo
El Rif
El-Arish
Emba
Empuries
Ephesos
Épieros
Esfahan
Essex
Esztergom
Eu
Euboia
Euphrates
Evora
Evreux
Exeter
Faereyar
Famagusta
Farama
Faro
Fars
Feher
Fejer
Ferrara
Fes
Fife
Figuig
Finland
Finnveden
Firenze
Foggia
Foix
Forcalquier
Forez
Franken
Frisia
Fürstenberg
Fyn
Gabes
Gabiyaha
Galatia
Galaz
Galich
Galich Mersky
Galindia
Galloway
Galway
Gästrikland
Gelre
Gemer
Geneve
Genoa
Gent
Gevaudan
Gilan
Gizeh
Glamorgan
Gloucester
Gnieznienskie
Gorodez
Gotland
Göttingen
Granada
Grassland Cheremisa
Grisons
Guines
Gurgan
Guria
Gwent
Gwynedd
Hainaut
Halland
Hålogaland
Hälsingland
Hama
Hamadan
Hamburg
Hampshire
Hanyan
Hdemark
Hebron
Hellas
Hendjan
Herakleia
Hereford
Herjedalen
Heves
Hijaz
Hlynov
Holland
Holstein
Homs
Hormuz
Hradec Kralove
Hum
Ifni
Ikonion
Ilam
Ile de France
Imeretia
Infa
Innsbruck
Irbid
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ZyrianeThis is the province of Arborea.
You may remember that it belongs to LUdwig von Habsburg a brother of Johann by way of his mother being Stefan's third wife and daughter of the former Count Trochitorno or however it was spelled.
I am vengeance. I am the night.
Sadly it turns out that this daughter gives away any title after her third to a courtier.
Well it was worth a shot.
Surely this will be enough?
Well that takes care of that. The Badajozs were eager to see the light after Alfonso beat up a few of their regiments.
Oh for the love of
Well at least we'll win in Arborea. Hey where did these extra enemies come from?
Well that sucks.
Looks like another go will be needed. Also I guess the really dirty and underhanded trick was in the update after this one. All will be revealed when the adventures of Johann von Habsburg continue in the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
Deus said:
Simple: he's playing the martially challenged Habsburgs and Alfonso Jimenez, the only competent soldier in the whole realm (he even knows which way to hold a sword!) was busy elsewhere.
I think Johann von Habsburg once even managed to lose against an army he outnumbered 3 to 1.
Poor Johann. The surprise increase in enemy numbers ruined the attack. Anon will have to repeat.
All hail Aargau!
Your empire is already pretty strong, how many men could you muster at the moment? I assume the only reason to not attack and conquest couple provinces at all time is that military costs a lot of money?
Your empire is already pretty strong, how many men could you muster at the moment? I assume the only reason to not attack and conquest couple provinces at all time is that military costs a lot of money?
Ah, if only the obstacle to faster conquest were as pedestrian a thing as mere money!General Guisan said:
its me i am the ultimate evil.
So there you are. The underhanded trick to end all underhanded tricks. The most underhanded you can get without resorting to the console or editing save games or reloading a ton of times. I literally cannot think of a gameplay trick that is more underhanded than getting rid of massive amounts of badboy this way. But such is what it takes to win, as the alternative, which is slowing down the pace of conquest, is unthinkable. All will be revealed when the adventures of Johann von Habsburg continue in the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
Chapter 54: Arborea
As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.
(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer won fairly from phargle's
Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))
1183
The Badajozs accept peace for the second time.
And here is the dirty trick! Since you inherit unmarried sons and daughters instantly, if you have a lot of them (as von Habsburgs are wont to ) you can take your less useful (and coincidentally less intrigued) children and make them counts of all of your provinces save one.
Then kill him/her! If you're over your normal demesne limit it's even better because you can give those provinces out twice! Of course if you are caught it is a VERY BAD THING so you should ideally use it only when your own intrigue is very high and your child's intrigue is very low, and if you must do it only sparingly. And of course make sure that you have a lot of demesne provinces and badboy to burn off because you will not only need to balance the risk of getting caught and getting the Kinslayer trait but also need to take into account the fact that you get badboy for assassinating outside your court even if you're not caught.
And you can actually give out the provinces and assassinate on the very same day.
Which is prefereable because then the child-count does not have time to hire a spy master. This kid was a bastard and in depression anyway.
After you're done of course you give away the low-income provinces that push you above your demesne limit to more normal courtiers.
And back to the show for a second go at Arborea.
I also move some regiments to Angus for some reason. Some of them have been sailing for some time.
Oh and I won that Arborea battle so here I am declaring war on the owner of the next province Archa.
Why yes, this does net me a lot of prestige.
As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.
(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer won fairly from phargle's
Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))
1183
The Badajozs accept peace for the second time.
And here is the dirty trick! Since you inherit unmarried sons and daughters instantly, if you have a lot of them (as von Habsburgs are wont to ) you can take your less useful (and coincidentally less intrigued) children and make them counts of all of your provinces save one.
Then kill him/her! If you're over your normal demesne limit it's even better because you can give those provinces out twice! Of course if you are caught it is a VERY BAD THING so you should ideally use it only when your own intrigue is very high and your child's intrigue is very low, and if you must do it only sparingly. And of course make sure that you have a lot of demesne provinces and badboy to burn off because you will not only need to balance the risk of getting caught and getting the Kinslayer trait but also need to take into account the fact that you get badboy for assassinating outside your court even if you're not caught.
And you can actually give out the provinces and assassinate on the very same day.
Which is prefereable because then the child-count does not have time to hire a spy master. This kid was a bastard and in depression anyway.
After you're done of course you give away the low-income provinces that push you above your demesne limit to more normal courtiers.
And back to the show for a second go at Arborea.
I also move some regiments to Angus for some reason. Some of them have been sailing for some time.
Oh and I won that Arborea battle so here I am declaring war on the owner of the next province Archa.
Why yes, this does net me a lot of prestige.
So there you are. The underhanded trick to end all underhanded tricks. The most underhanded you can get without resorting to the console or editing save games or reloading a ton of times. I literally cannot think of a gameplay trick that is more underhanded than getting rid of massive amounts of badboy this way. But such is what it takes to win, as the alternative, which is slowing down the pace of conquest, is unthinkable. All will be revealed when the adventures of Johann von Habsburg continue in the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!