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Man... you know you're hooked to an AAR when you find yourself finding the time to read it even when you've just gone from the West Coast of the United States all the way to the UK - despite nothing happening at al. Good job, anonymous... I guess... :p
 
So how old is Johann's first wife going to be? I'm guessing 68.
 
Real men don't put time aside to read this. They put this aside to do other things.
 
Dysken said:
Real men don't put time aside to read this. They put this aside to do other things.
TRAITOR! GET HIM!
 
Assisting Al-ania.

Chapter 16: Al Bichri

As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.

(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer transferred unattentively from phargle's
Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))





1157-1158


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Why yes we have indeed fulfilled God's will by letting a Bohemian bishop take Rome and then not give it back to the Pope. All us, baby.


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What's this? Menendo von Habsburg!? What a ridiculous name! But more to the point I do not remember any Menendo being born, or else I would have made fun of his name before.


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Ah, he is the bastard son of Enrique von Habsburg, former Bishop of Achaia. Former because he's dead.


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And the new Bishop is some jerk I've never heard of. Strangely he reset his court by taking over so Enrique's children came to me. Pretty neat.


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TurkWatch: 1158. Turks still really big. And at war with the Count of Alania! Since Alania's a one-province nobody loser the Turks will annex them surely! But what can we do about this?


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I really have no idea. But since we have a claim on Alania, I might as well go to war. Why not?


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And I might as well mobilize my army in Abkhazia and march them over there. They need the exercise. Boy I wish I could do something to help those Alanians.


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And sending another female von Habsburg to the prestige mines. But those poor Alanians keep tugging at the back of my mind. Just what can we ever do?


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Oh look, the army that was sent to Alania liberated it. But that doesn't make sense. How will that help?


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Hooray!


And I invent another absolutely gamey tactic! Declaring war on one-province minors who I have a claim on, occupying them, but just leaving them sitting there not pressing for a peace! It will revolutionize the CK gaming community! Finally there will be a perfect way to secure future conquests without having to annex them out of order, which is only useful to those who have set an arbitrary order in which to annex provinces, which means that this is useful only to- Oh, poopy. Don't miss the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
 
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Real Men Wonder If The New Tactic Is Actually A Good One... :D
 
And so now Alania will be at war with everyone for quite some time.
 
phargle said:
God willing, there is still time to make a joke about Nikitich's name.

Quick! Before he kicks the bucket!
 
Real men enjoy seeing a new tactic although it might be a little gamey…
 
Al Step Forward.

Chapter 16: Al Bichri

As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.

(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer transferred unattentively from phargle's
Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))





1158


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Buildin' a church, because Johann has single-digit Piety...


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And this is genuinely a nice surprise! Especially as Agen has the highest base income in the entire duchy.


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Ernst von Habsburg sucks at making children.


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He's pretty good at inheriting


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But he sucks at making children.


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Oh what's he going on about now?


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Also I notice this happening to what must be the newly-arrived daughter of Enrique von Habsburg who I don't care about but her husband


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Is the first man in my court in a very long time to have a decent martial rating!


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Looks like God does not like my bishop very much.


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And the first fruits of the new crusade ripen!


'The first fruits of the new crusade ripen'? That doesn't even make any sense! Really if there's any ripening going on it will be when the Seljuks take their entire army and march it far away to these faraway kingdoms leaving their homelands vulnerable enough for the von Habsburgs to get a few annexations in edgewise. But until then it's just silly, and I really should have used less poorly thought-out imagery. Don't miss the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
 
Originally posted by anonymous4401-

Ernst von Habsburg sucks at making children.

It says he's a "Misguided Warrior..." Maybe that "misguidedness" extends to other areas of interest?...

Well, I guess without lights, and it being dark and all candlelit and everything, he could've easily had a hard time finding it...
 
CrackdToothGrin said:
It says he's a "Misguided Warrior..." Maybe that "misguidedness" extends to other areas of interest?...

Well, I guess without lights, and it being dark and all candlelit and everything, he could've easily had a hard time finding it...

I think he was more interested in killing everyone. Including his children. Because he's a misguided warrior - that's what he does. He kills stuff. Poorly.