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Real Men Do It Alphabetically: An AARgau

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anonymous4401 said:
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Of course one county isn't exactly enough, so I give another. As you can see Salic Consanguinity is the best inheritance law, as you can practically pick and choose among your children who should inherit.
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I've seen the light... got an idea...
 
Death of Al-Conquerer.

Chapter 16: Al Bichri

As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.

(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer transferred unattentively from phargle's
Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))



1156

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Ok.


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Ok.


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Yeah I have no idea what joke I can set up here. Those two things aren't related in any way.

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And yes! I am building new roads in Aargau. Yes. Very exciting.


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Almost as exciting as building Moneylenders in Abydos! Oh boy!


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And look, the personality of an unremarkable Grecefied Welsh boy matured and the man that Guardian Angel Stefan helped become a count lost his title in a rebellion against the Byzantine Emperor! Boy howdy all of these trivial events that would normally not ever have gotten a mention in a normal Real Men Do It Alphabetically Update are certainly not half-baked attempts to delay the news to you, the reader, of a great tragedy! No!


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Alright fine, you broke me. Stefan von Habsburg, conquerer of Arabs and Scandinavians, marrier of elderly spinsters and teenaged girls alike, and lifelong member and Chairman Emeritus of the Cool Kids' Club, died of being old on August 14, The Year Of Our Lord 1156.

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He was succeeded by what is his fourth or fifth son or something, Johann von Habsburg, year-long Count of Acre and Abkhazia. His first act as the Duke of Abydos was to declare that as his father had conquered the homeland of the Vikings, it was fitting that he should be given a Viking funeral.


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The Viking funeral went horribly wrong.


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Yeah that right there was pretty much the best joke in this AAR up to this point. Yep, you're not gonna see anything funny like that from me in a long while! What would be the point, with the death of Stefan von Habsburg and all? It's not like Johann von Habsburg is going to properly fill his oversized shoes, as even if he gets a great education (and von Habsburg trends indicate this will not happen) he will most likely spend his reign watching the TurkWatch every year and building castles or something. Or WILL HE!?!?!? I really don't know. Haven't played that far yet. Don't miss the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
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The old great conqueror die, now what will happen… let us hope Johann will do well and continue the great traditions of the alphabetical counts, now that you have a new count I think it is time to do something about the Turks… blame it on Johann being young and dumb ;)
 
Bah these traders. Send them to distant lands and they go and return with gifts of chainmail. They won't fit young Johann yet. He'll grow. Perhaps he'll have some good ideas and will grow out of his road-building phase?
 
Pellucid said:
...I dunno...looks like you're on the road to progress to me... :p
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Maybe he has a CHAIN of ROADS being finished. God I am funny.
 
Dysken said:
Maybe he has a CHAIN of ROADS being finished. God I am funny.
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Hey now - don't be making the author look bad by thinking of jokes when he can't. ;)

And a great tragedy befalls this epic. Alas. Ah, well, plenty of time to screw this next one up. :D
 
Real Men Just Love Viking Funerals, Even If They Go A Little Wrong... :D
 
Real Men Use Napalm. :D
 
Going Nowhere at Al.

Chapter 16: Al Bichri

As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.

(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer transferred unattentively from phargle's
Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))



1156-1157


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Prestige mines someday, but I'm not too disappointed with it considering her poor starting stats. Figures she is a daughter of the Whiny Ugly Hermann.


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TurkWatch: 1157. Keep on Turkin'.


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But Hugo von Habsburg was already Johann's relative! And he was a lot better than this guy in every respect!


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Eh not prestige mines.


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I don't know maybe they'll produce a good-Diplo child.


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No not my German Diocese Bishop with an Arab last name!


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In retrospect I should have picked the other option, even if it gave two of my vassals Rebelliousness. Because then I could have reabsorbed their counties by the sword! And really then I would also get to see some action, which as long as the Seljuks outnumber me by more than five to one (which is even more considering I'll be the one invading) I will not see.


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Also that Trusting trait just wrecked Johann's intrigue so I have to start building Royal Posts everywhere. Might as well get used to it.


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Yes, the Bishop of Ostrava, a vassal of the King of Bohemia, is also now the Bishop of Rome, and secure in this position thanks to the peace. The Papal States still exists in north Italy too as you can see from the screen. Well at least the Medinans are being beaten back.


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Heh. The fat ugly count asked for the fat ugly courtier's hand in marriage.

​
What will happen next in the annoying life of Hermann von Habsburg? Will Diocese Bishop Habib succumb to his sickness? How will the Feudal Contract affect Johann von Habsburg's reign? Who cares? Don't miss the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
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Real Men Will Go Feudal Soon If Nothing Happens... :D
 
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