Quite the stumbling block, but eventually, the Seljuks must falter. Or Real Men, fearless and without shame, could simply march on Al-Bichri, take it, and then pray for peace. It'd be the end of Germaqny though.
Real Men Do It Alphabetically: An AARgau
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Oh and just be careful that the King of Germany doesn't invade any muslim provinces with your armies. You will get them you know. *evil grin*
Ayeshteni
Ayeshteni
ComradeOm said:How is it that we've never had this joke before?
OMG...
At last this AAR made me recoil horror...
Murmurandus said:Real Men Don't Know The Word 'Insurmountable'...
That joke we have heard before.
Doing Nothing At Al.
And we continue on our way with this AAR, despite the insurmountable obstacle blocking us from our next goal, by simply pretending that that goal does not exist! Hooray! You, the reader, will have plenty of updates to look forward to as the years drag on that consist of nothing but trivial minutae about marrying people to people and watching other nations get into cool wars and have more fun than us! Aren't you excited? Don't miss the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
Chapter 16: Al Bichri
As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.
(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer transferred unattentively from phargle's
Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))
1148
Heh. Long. Swords. Wait what?
Anyways, it's a shame.
But her base stats are still good. Plus I'm lazy and don't want to keep on looking abroad for wives every time a male Habsburg grows up. Heh. Looking abroad for a broad. I should have used that as a joke somewhere.
Yeah, Halfdan! You deserve this for having a weird name like Halfdan, Halfdan!
Yeah you deserve this too I guess. And you'll have plenty of time to think about what you did wrong when you are... dead?
Oh right my regiments are off at war somewhere.
Silly Germany, you already mobilized every one of my regiments!
Silly Welf. Just because you're married now doesn't mean you get to have a court position.
Meanwhile Stefan gives birth to yet another daughter. By now he has enough to make a women's softball team! And just like a women's softball team nobody will care about them.
Well I suppose that's one way for a Count to get a King title...
As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.
(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer transferred unattentively from phargle's
Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))
1148
Heh. Long. Swords. Wait what?
Anyways, it's a shame.
But her base stats are still good. Plus I'm lazy and don't want to keep on looking abroad for wives every time a male Habsburg grows up. Heh. Looking abroad for a broad. I should have used that as a joke somewhere.
Yeah, Halfdan! You deserve this for having a weird name like Halfdan, Halfdan!
Yeah you deserve this too I guess. And you'll have plenty of time to think about what you did wrong when you are... dead?
Oh right my regiments are off at war somewhere.
Silly Germany, you already mobilized every one of my regiments!
Silly Welf. Just because you're married now doesn't mean you get to have a court position.
Meanwhile Stefan gives birth to yet another daughter. By now he has enough to make a women's softball team! And just like a women's softball team nobody will care about them.
Well I suppose that's one way for a Count to get a King title...
And we continue on our way with this AAR, despite the insurmountable obstacle blocking us from our next goal, by simply pretending that that goal does not exist! Hooray! You, the reader, will have plenty of updates to look forward to as the years drag on that consist of nothing but trivial minutae about marrying people to people and watching other nations get into cool wars and have more fun than us! Aren't you excited? Don't miss the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
Also, vote in the AARland Choice AwAARds, or I'll kill you! Also, support the many members of the community that took time out of their busy schedules to write articles for it by reading The AARlander! The simple act of reading it will support them, somehow...
Murmurandus said:Real Men Take Example From The Count Of Montpellier...
And Don't Take it From the Former King of Hungary
How does the German Duke of Abydos get a King title..and would it have to be Armenia?
anonymous4401 said:
Well if THAT hasn't lost you the last female reader I don't know what will.
Oh good point. Are we all REAL men here, or is there any limp wrists still lurking here too.
*runs screaming from the remaining rainbow brigade*
Ayeshteni
Eh I figure every once in a while a female might end up reading this AAR without having caught up to all fifty-plus pages, so I make sure to include a misogynistic reference every few updates. :nods:
Longswords. You know, made for penetrating one's enemies...
...okay, I'll stop there.
Gotta love the complete and total lack of maturity running rampant in this particular segment of the AAR. If the entire Muslim world doesn't kill you, the juvenile humor will.
...okay, I'll stop there.
Gotta love the complete and total lack of maturity running rampant in this particular segment of the AAR. If the entire Muslim world doesn't kill you, the juvenile humor will.
Logic-Al.
Man that Aristotle. Is he ever wrong? I don't think so. Because that means that I betrayed my liege and killed off my best spymistress for no reason! And that sure would be embarrassing! Just what would we do without that crazy Greek guy? Also, Aristotle tells me to follow the example of Arthur Cynfyn to borrow my way to riches in real life. Since I am a citizen of the country with the highest GDP in the world, I shall become a multi-trillionaire in one fell swoop if the laws of CK applied to the real world! And nobody will stand in our way, will they Aristotle my friend? Don't miss the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
Chapter 16: Al Bichri
As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.
(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer transferred unattentively from phargle's
Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))
1149
To kick off this new update we shall introduce an exciting new feature of Real Men Do It Alphabetically: TurkWatch! The feature that will keep you up to date on whether or not the Seljuk Turks are still so strong that attacking them would be suicide! And as of 1149, the answer to the question is 'Yes!'!
If he were any other son I would not have minded. However, he is none other than the namesake of Werner 'The First' von Habsburg! I cannot let this accusation stand!
Yes, yes I have!
Man, I should go into debt in real life! Because then I could borrow enough money to fund a kingdom's army instantly without having to pay any of it back, for the price of only a small chance of being excommunicated! Thanks, Crusader Kings!
Man, that Bishop wants to play chess with me, but he always wins! If only I could do something about it...
I know! I'll adopt the principles of Aristotelian Logic! That guy seemed to have it all together! With it this chess-winning bishop will be no match for me!
Alas, adhering to these principles of inference lead me to the conclusion that as a rebellious vassal it makes no sense to continue being a vassal.
And with leaving the Kingdom of Germany returns my battered legions! The one out of ten men that survived that journey are surely being celebrated across the Duchy!
And the ironclad jaws of logic force my hand: To prevent the possibility of Werner's namesake Werner not being a true von Habsburg must be silenced by silencing the spymistress in the most silent way possible: Killing her. Only this time, unlike every other time I've wanted someone dead, it'll look like an accident! Of old age! Aristotle, you're a genius!
Sure, it cost me a four-point drop in combined Intrigue score but Aristotle said it's worth it so there.
As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.
(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer transferred unattentively from phargle's
Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))
1149
To kick off this new update we shall introduce an exciting new feature of Real Men Do It Alphabetically: TurkWatch! The feature that will keep you up to date on whether or not the Seljuk Turks are still so strong that attacking them would be suicide! And as of 1149, the answer to the question is 'Yes!'!
If he were any other son I would not have minded. However, he is none other than the namesake of Werner 'The First' von Habsburg! I cannot let this accusation stand!
Yes, yes I have!
Man, I should go into debt in real life! Because then I could borrow enough money to fund a kingdom's army instantly without having to pay any of it back, for the price of only a small chance of being excommunicated! Thanks, Crusader Kings!
Man, that Bishop wants to play chess with me, but he always wins! If only I could do something about it...
I know! I'll adopt the principles of Aristotelian Logic! That guy seemed to have it all together! With it this chess-winning bishop will be no match for me!
Alas, adhering to these principles of inference lead me to the conclusion that as a rebellious vassal it makes no sense to continue being a vassal.
And with leaving the Kingdom of Germany returns my battered legions! The one out of ten men that survived that journey are surely being celebrated across the Duchy!
And the ironclad jaws of logic force my hand: To prevent the possibility of Werner's namesake Werner not being a true von Habsburg must be silenced by silencing the spymistress in the most silent way possible: Killing her. Only this time, unlike every other time I've wanted someone dead, it'll look like an accident! Of old age! Aristotle, you're a genius!
Sure, it cost me a four-point drop in combined Intrigue score but Aristotle said it's worth it so there.
Man that Aristotle. Is he ever wrong? I don't think so. Because that means that I betrayed my liege and killed off my best spymistress for no reason! And that sure would be embarrassing! Just what would we do without that crazy Greek guy? Also, Aristotle tells me to follow the example of Arthur Cynfyn to borrow my way to riches in real life. Since I am a citizen of the country with the highest GDP in the world, I shall become a multi-trillionaire in one fell swoop if the laws of CK applied to the real world! And nobody will stand in our way, will they Aristotle my friend? Don't miss the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
I wonder if they read Aristotle in Al Bichri. I think real men should just wade in..of course, Turkwatch would be missed then.