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Thread: Real Men Do It Alphabetically: An AARgau

  1. #81
    Lt. General HannibalBarca's Avatar
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    Yipee another comedy AAR to add to the daily routine of viewing and commenting very little as my already minute post rate tapers off further!
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  2. #82
    The Politickin Scene Kid Anarhco Liberal's Avatar

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    Wow at this rate it will take you forever to even make it to the B's.
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  3. #83
    Remember Carcosa! Fiftypence's Avatar
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    Good stuff, but slow so far. It should pick up when you are strong enough to just conquer stuff on a whim, though, so IMO it's doable.

  4. #84
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    A modern ahem... medieval-day Don Quixote I laughed my ass off - keep it up, anonymous4401.

  5. #85
    Lurk-o-matic 2000 Jon Young's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by anonymous4401
    Some would be worried by such things. They might even start to change the rules a bit. You know, add small adjustments like being able to keep an out-of-order province for a year in case you have to conquer through a horde or something. But is the title of this AAR 'Limp-Wristed Compromisers Do It Alphabetically'? No! Real men do not know the meaning of the word, and are too stubborn to change even if they did! Even if I never break out of the 'A's, I soldier on, for I am a real man.
    That's the stuff! I'm stealing 'Limp-wristed compromisers' to work into the title of my upcoming CK-AAR, if'n you don't mind.... It'll fit perfectly!

    At least it's better than my last idea, the all female tale 'Real Men do it with Women'

  6. #86
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    The Ugly Sonling.

    Chapter 1: Abauj

    As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.

    (All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer stolen blatantly from phargle's
    Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))




    1076-1077




    How could this be? Look at that! Bald, ugly, veiny neck... Well, the veiny neck makes sense.




    And veiny necks are perfect for diplomacizing!




    Our library is completed, and you can also see the inner workings of my prestige gain rate. Which is that it is negative. Seeing as you need 150 prestige to even claim the poorest pig-farming province in the darkest hills of England, it looks like I'll have to get a one-time prestige boost later down the line.




    Rawr.




    Whatever shall we do?




    Hey, it's not my gold.




    Stress is like illness, except that it seems to be far more intractable! With illness, you have a mob of miracle-workers lining up to jump you, with stress you might as well resign that one point in every trait to be lost for the rest of the character's life...






    Just what will Werner von Habsburg do about having an ugly son? What will anonymous4401 do about Werner being just short of 150 on the prestige scale? Just how long will it take to get to Abauj already? Find out next time on the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
    Last edited by anonymous4401; 10-08-2007 at 09:32.
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  7. #87
    Grand Poobah DukeWilleo1630's Avatar
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    Good luck.

  8. #88
    Crusader for Fun and Profit Murmurandus's Avatar
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    If Real Men Do It Alphabetically, It Takes A Bloody Long Time...
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  9. #89
    Non sufficit orbis Lord E's Avatar
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    You really need a one time prestige boost it seems, also you could do with a son that looked a little better. Well shall be interesting to see what happens next time, and if you will be able to gain your first province soon.
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  10. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by Murmurandus
    If Real Men Do It Alphabetically, It Takes A Bloody Long Time...
    To Real Men Time Is Not Important

    EDIT: Love the rawr reference
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  11. #91
    Our library is completed, and you can also see the inner workings of my prestige gain rate. Which is that it is negative.
    This plan is so ingenious it has to work to your advantage.
    .
    I'm a CheatAAR!

  12. #92
    Compulsive CommentatAAR stnylan's Avatar
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    Ahh, useful things libraries.

    Sitting back and waiting for the stressed steward to go schizo and kill everyone...
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  13. #93
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    I hereby subscribe!

  14. #94
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    Insanity, death, depression, disease.

    Chapter 1: Abauj

    As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.

    (All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer stolen blatantly from phargle's
    Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))




    1077-1079




    Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see...




    Now Aargauans can know the endless joy of business contracts!




    Je suis Napoléon!




    I don't know what stone pits have to do with tile-factories, but that's +4% gold, -10% building time so I'll build it.




    Look, I know your name is silly, but it will be a lot less silly when you're actually ruling Aargau! Which will, you know, happen when I get Abauj. Which will happen...you know...in...oh, forget it.




    Ride into my court as a fleeing warrior from another court, work for eight years, then simply drop dead. Lousy temps...




    Let's see here... Pay precious, precious gold to raise a single stat of a daughter that I will not see or care about again after she turns 16, or instead use that gold to fill a conveniently gold-shaped hole I have right here... Decisions, decisions...

    Wait, what's that you say? Instead of using the gold to fill in a hole I can fill it with dirt and keep the gold? I'll do that, then!




    Normally I would accept, as this mechanism was designed to rid your court of excess clutter. However, watching his further descent into madness is pretty much the only form of entertainment that I have in this game to this point!




    That is not Aargau you're looking at here, but Abauj. I sure hope it clears up by the time it passes into my realm, or else it will be quite a pain.

    Oh, who am I kidding? The Abaujians could build a pyramid, with the -90% construction rate, and finish it before I finally get it...




    We complete a tile-factory, which is hyphenated for a reason. Perhaps it is a euphemism? If so, for what?...




    Just what could a 'tile-factory' be a euphemism for? How many pyramids will the Abaujites complete before anonymous4401 finally gets his grubby, time-stained hands on the God-forsaken province? How many readers will have abandoned this AAR in despair before that happens? Has anyone here ever watched Event Horizon ever? No? Well, I can't say I recommend it, but whatever. Find out next time on the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
    Last edited by anonymous4401; 12-08-2007 at 10:23.
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  15. #95
    Compulsive CommentatAAR stnylan's Avatar
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    Abauj is just wanting to truly its express its feeling for Aargau.
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  16. #96
    Grand Poobah DukeWilleo1630's Avatar
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    Maybe you should....assasinate someone? I predict you shall never even get to the B's anonymous. Sad, but true.

  17. #97
    AARlander
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    Only because those Arabs decided to name all their provinces starting with 'Al'. What is it, the only article in their language or something?
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  18. #98
    Major Shuma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by anonymous4401
    Only because those Arabs decided to name all their provinces starting with 'Al'. What is it, the only article in their language or something?
    Hmm.. if this doesn't work out, make another AAR that goes through the province aplhabeticaly but backwards? Although I'm sure all the Z ones are Arab too

    But don't give up hope yet! Abauj will be yours one day!
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  19. #99
    AARlander
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    Actually I already thought of that idea. The problem is, I don't think Zyriane starts in Christian hands...
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    Real Men Do It Alphabetically: An AARgau | Conquering CK by the dictionary. Updates EVERY DAY FOREVER.
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  20. #100
    Your Marshal is keen to start conquering Abauj. A trait I think he shares with a number of your readers, not to mention Berthold who thinks he's never going to get to rule a county.

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