Real Men Do It Alphabetically: An AARgau

[Lord E]

Nice work anonymous. Interesting to see Knud doing well in this history, also good to see that you are getting a lot of girls that can be married away to secure your inheritance in the future. Only it might create a little trouble I guess if you don’t get a real heir also soon… looking forward to the next update

[anonymous4401]

Chapter 1: Abauj

As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.

(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer stolen blatantly from phargle's
Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))

1071-1073




I'd be pretty distressed too if I HAD NO EYES!!!




Almos has more courage than I. Much more courage. Too bad he didn't start the game with a son like me.

No, wait, I mean like Werner von Habsburg! Dammit!




Of all things, the fabled prosperity of Aargau is brought down by lack of manure.

This is one of those things that are so inherently funny I don't need to make a joke of it.

Or maybe I'm just being lazy.




Yeah whatever.




Of course, none of these traits are positive or negative for the stewardship score. However, I would rather potentially lose my marshal than my steward. Not that the marshal died.




More daughters for Almos!




What's this? Zila Akos, Count of Feher, in a pink-shielded limbo? Let's rewind the tape.




Before.




After. Oh.




Now Zila is a courtier in a county that I will not even attempt to pronounce. Live on, Zila, live on.

Just how will anonymous4401 deal with the reversion of his province to non-Prosperous status? Will he have to cancel his plans to have the goat plated with gold? And will he continue to mix himself up with Werner von Habsburg, and if so, will it be a sign of the immersiveness that the CK experience brings or that anonymous4401 is slowly going mad? Find out next time on the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!

[Shuma]

Well, I'm sad this AAR comes to an end. I mean, now that your county is as normal as the rest, there's just no point in playing anymore, is there?

[Chief Ragusa]

Hardly surprising, it's caused by the forest that now covers what used to be open manure land.You need to increase the number of pigs in your county.

I agree that a wise, modest, cowardly steward is much better than a dead marshal. Though just when is Abjaug going to join the list of Habsburg properties? What good is a marshal who gets wounded by great boars?

At this rate we'll all be wondering why there is a 400 year old Werner still ruling just AArgau.

[Murmurandus]

Hardly surprising, it's caused by the forest that now covers what used to be open manure land.You need to increase the number of pigs in your county.

...

You need to 'research' them first of course...

[Chief Ragusa]

Okay, so it's level three Cattle Herding (Animal Husbandry would have been a better title). You don't have to research great boars though. You instinctively know that you are being charged by a great boar.

Werner's got to be researching something.

[Llywelyn]

Hardly surprising, it's caused by the forest that now covers what used to be open manure land.You need to increase the number of pigs in your county.

Pig's a filthy animal, alright.

[OOC: Do Muslims get pigs? Do they really make any difference in getting those AARgau prospAARity crushing events?]

[Lord E]

Must have been irritating to see that your nice county go back because of the lack of manure. I mean one should think that is the one thing that really shouldn’t give you any trouble. Also I find it a little troubling that you seem to be confusing yourself with Werner, maybe you are actually going mad

[stnylan]

Essentially, people need to eat more. If they eat more they **** more, therefore providing a constant supply of valuable muck to be spread on the fields.

[anonymous4401]

Chapter 1: Abauj

As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.

(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer stolen blatantly from phargle's
Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))

1073-1075



Huh? How'd this get in here? It's not important!




Divine Rights spreads to Aargau! You know what that means!




That's right, I can squeeze out another fraction of a ducat from my nobles!




They just like Boleslaw being the Papal controller so much they made sure he got it twice. Also, Poles have funny names.




I don't know what's more amazing. That Almos did the deed five times or that he has gotten five daughters in a row.




And for my next improvement, we build a library. These give not only the +5% gold boost but also a one-time bonus in prestige. And we all know the only thing prestige is good for: Spending it to grab some titles. I know there's some other things like marriage chances and loyalty and events but who cares about that?




Who?




Yeah I don't understand this one. Why would he not want to be Marshal anymore?




Oh.

Who will be the next Pole to be elected into the Papacy? Will the Pope's call to crusade mean that the von Habsburgs will be sending their armies to fight in far-off heathen lands? Have the readers figured out the update schedule yet? Find out next time on the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!

Except for the part about the crusade, because you all should know the answer to that one already.

[Chief Ragusa]

Your marshal knew the Crusade was coming and didn't want to fight. Smart man.

[anonymous4401]

Stealing that.

[Lord E]

Clever marshal resigning just before a crusade, but I don’t think the count ever was planning to send troops to fight for some silly Polish pope anyway. Getting a little more money from the nobles seems nice; also a library is smart to have. With that prestige you might even start grabbing titles soon

[stnylan]

And still just waiting ever so patiently for the generations to work...

[Murmurandus]

Dear God, it takes a long time to get Abauj...

[Jestor]

I wonder how far you'll get by 1450. Will you even B to the Bs?

[Snake IV]

There are 885 provinces. The game lasts for 387 years. That means appr. 2.3 provinces per year. That is harldy possible with marrage all the way. Ten years has passed so far with half way there to the first to gain. I'm sure anonymous will soon totaly change the way to gain provinces, but what I am curious on is what he will do for all those arabian provinces soon coming up. Alexandria is a hard place to take for a small swiss county.

[anonymous4401]

Rest assured that when the von Habsburgs actually get powerful enough to do some military annexations, military annexations will occur.

[Jon Young]

There are 885 provinces. The game lasts for 387 years. That means appr. 2.3 provinces per year. That is harldy possible with marrage all the way. Ten years has passed so far with half way there to the first to gain. I'm sure anonymous will soon totaly change the way to gain provinces, but what I am curious on is what he will do for all those arabian provinces soon coming up. Alexandria is a hard place to take for a small swiss county.

Heh.
That's a fine point... but at least you can GET to Alexandria. It's the landlocked ones in the middle of Cuman and such places that worry me!

[anonymous4401]

Some would be worried by such things. They might even start to change the rules a bit. You know, add small adjustments like being able to keep an out-of-order province for a year in case you have to conquer through a horde or something. But is the title of this AAR 'Limp-Wristed Compromisers Do It Alphabetically'? No! Real men do not know the meaning of the word, and are too stubborn to change even if they did! Even if I never break out of the 'A's, I soldier on, for I am a real man.