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In Hapsburg-land, horror recoils from Real Men!
 
The Hapsburgs shall rule through the simple business of multiplication...

Plenty of fodder for the wars...
 
Insane in the Reign.

Chapter 6: Adana

As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.

(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer claimed unrightfully from phargle's
Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))




1125-1128

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That's right. Lykia, a Byzantine Duchy that has been rebelling against it for decades (and the Byzantines have occupied it for decades without demanding annexation yet because they're dumb or something) has been taken over by Muslims.


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And as you can see Venice has taken it over quite nicely, along with Ephesos and Samos, while the rest of the Byzantine Empire continues to languish, weakened by the departure of its most richest provinces including Nikomedeia, Athenai, and, well, Abydos.


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Ah, child abuse. Is there anything you can't solve?


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And GREAT news for us, the king of the Seljuk Turks is Schizophrenic!


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Meanwhile those St. John guys were pretty pissed with not getting to have Acre or whatever so they spread heresy there. Now to stamp them out.


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I don't even know what an Estates General is, much less care! And why should I as long as it keeps giving me free money?


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Oh wow Kinslayer? Man, that's just sweet.


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Ah, child abuse. Is there anything you can't solve?


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Now we can sit back and relax and watch the Seljuk Turks fall apart. Most importantly, the Abbasid part. Suh-weet!


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And since Stefan's wife could not be content with the King of the Seljuk Turks getting all the attention from her husband, who is watching his every move in hopes of having the Abbasids break away, she decides to go crazy, too.



With that Schizophrenia and more importantly Kinslayer trait the Seljuk Turks will be falling apart faster than a house of cards in... I don't know, an earthquake or something. Yeah that was pretty lame. The point is that the Seljuks will be falling to pieces and it will be hilarious. Of course this will probably mean that when the Il-Khanate comes they will end up sweeping all the way up to Hungary but hey who cares about something so far away in the future? Right now the chance to take Adana without getting into a war with the Fatimids is very high indeed! Recoil in horror as you read the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
 
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Tha was..well...the perfect storm..The Hapsburg's are surely the luckiest dynasty ever, if the most deranged.
 
Wow, lucky. Go go go go.
 
Your children are going to be great men.

If they survive their education :D
 
If the Seljuks do implode .... that could be a good thing. Or a bad thing if it means the Il-Khanate has a walk in the park.
 
Kurt_Steiner said:
If they survive their education :D

Their education will make the Real Men. The kind that make Chuck Norris weep.
 
Real Men Are Pretty Happy With Current Flow Of Things, Not To Mention Insane Seljuks Or Wives... :D

... and are fan of Cypress Hill... ;) :cool:
 
A houyhnhnm with no name said:
Ah, child abuse. Is there anything you can't solve?

Actually, apparently it can't cure schizophrenia. Which is good news for you if the Seljuk's mama is still around to hit him with Muhammad's holy camel prod (pbui).

Also, since you were curious:
cnp_joffre_01.jpg

Joseph Joffre, French Estates General

They're like stewards, only better. They've got hats.

j.
 
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RGB said:
Their education will make the Real Men. The kind that make Chuck Norris weep.

Chuck Norris doesn't weep. He died ten years ago, but Death has no guts to tell him that on his face :D
 
That sure is some lucky events, seems like your nemesis is a crazy fool and his empire is certain to go to pieces soon, time to act and send in the army to grab a province…
 
Real Men Get Ready to Rumble. :D

Murmurandus
 
Into the Abbasid.

Chapter 6: Adana

As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.

(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer claimed unrightfully from phargle's
Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))




1128


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Waah marriages are BORING waah get to the action waah


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Well FINE then. As you can see the Abbasids have broken off from the Seljuks.


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Which means that Abydos's regiment is marching off to war.


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Fighting the Abbasids without the Seljuks would have been doable by myself. Fighting them while they are fighting AGAINST the Seljuks? It won't even take any effort!


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Heh. The Shiekdom of Teluch joined in, which is the small poor county just east of Adana. (They have a Christian shield because the shiek is Armenian. Very silly and confusing.)


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Stefan's army, still two thousand strong, besieges the small castle. To the southeast in Alexandretta you can make out the flags of the Abbasids. A lot of flags...


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So just in case I begin shipping in the Abkhazians, 2574 strong.


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And it was indeed the Abbasids, and they give battle. But two thousand men against their nine hundred? It will be an easy victory for us!


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Unless they bring in reinforcements.


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Crap.



Well it looks like the Abydosans under Duke Stefan failed to take Adana. Hopefully the Abkhazians will fare better. But will they fare better? Will they? Yeah probably. For one they have more men, for another the guy who's leading them has to have more skill than 2-martial Stefan, and for a third even if the Abbasids keep their army in Adana it had already been weakened by the Abydosians. And they'd most likely not keep them in Adana as the Seljuks are attacking Baghdad itself. Sorry if this spoiled any of the suspense. Recoil in horror as you read the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
 
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Not a good result.
 
If you gaze long into an abbassid, the abbassid will gaze back into you