1118-1119
Ahaha, Manfred von Habsburg, bastard uncle of Stefan and marshal, killed himself! Because he was depressed! What a loser!
I bet that old wound isn't as aggravating as the fact that you'll die alone and hundreds of miles away from your family, in a strange land, in the court of the very man that destroyed your armies and will put your people to the sword to convert them to his heathen religion. Because man that must hurt a lot. Hehe.
Well I didn't marry Stefan to that broad to put her in a court position, but rather to pump out as many small children as she can with that base 9 Intrigue she has. Which she has started doing.
Haha Adriana Nemanjic is depressed! Could it be because... she's
ugly? Hahaha I bet it is! Because she's ugly! And wearing a hairnet! And will die alone because the only way for her to marry now will be if I marry a male von Habsburg to her which will never happen because that won't give me any prestige nor more von Habsburgs for that matter as she is infertile due to depression, which is also the reason which no foreigner will ask to marry her either! Ha!
And Da'ud died of old age, with none of his children or grandchildren by his side! Ha! And he was probably buried upside down or something because he's a Muslim in the court of a Christian king who was never useful anyways. Nobody went to his funeral.
All right, 'noble'. I'll grant you refuge.
Because your name is so ridiculous it will generate much-needed laughter and mirth at my court! Hartmann Hagioprokopites! Can you believe it? You couldn't make this stuff up if you tried! Hagioprokopites? More like HagioprokoLOSER! Ahahahaha his name is so ripe for parody.
And I'll even let in a wandering bishop too!
Because not only is his last name 'Zerbos' but he is also BALD! So bald that I'm making him my chancellor rather than diocese bishop! That's right, bishop-man. My contempt for you and your lack of hair runs that deep. Because you're bald.
But alas, as mirthful as this update has been, with so many hilarious deaths and depressions of courtiers, it must ultimately end on a sad note. For as you can see by the fact that it is an
Italian man that is not only not insane, but not disloyal and plotting my death as well while being the Bishop of Abauj, Rudolf von Habsburg is dead. Rudolf von Habsburg, marrier of Knýtlings, filler of court positions, wanter of attentions, bishop of Abaujes, and collector of mental maladies, passing on without even a notice to me, as he was in his own court, his children and wife scattered to the winds. Truly a sad day.
