Real Madrid Hasn't Been Mentioned Yet.
Nice exploit with the alliances there Anon.
Ayeshteni
Nice exploit with the alliances there Anon.
Ayeshteni
Real Men Do It Alphabetically: An AARgau
- Thread starter unmerged(17581)
- Start date
-
We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.
Losing My Religion.
Will Abydos rebel against the system and stick it to the Man? And when it happens, will the Three-Countied County of Aargau swoop in to plunder and annex it in its time bereft of the protection that being in the Empire of Byzantium meant? And is this all a metaphor for the follies of today's youth as they rebel against a system that is only trying to protect them from the world's dangers, and those unscrupulous merchants that profit off of their ignorance at their expense? You won't believe your eyes when you read the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
Chapter 3: Abydos
As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.
(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer pillaged ruthlessly from phargle's Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))
1100
As the new century begins, the Byzantines are at Civil War. But seeing as it's still the Byzantine Empire, their ability to amass massive armies does not seem to have been hurt too badly...
Meanwhile, child-prince Tsaphas's loyalty continues to drop, and at this rate he will declare war on his liege in nine months, after which Otto can swoop in, declare war, and take Abydos without actually going to war with Byzantium. That is, he could if he had a claim on Abydos, which he still doesn't...
This burning bald man says that I can get 50 prestige by disagreeing with the Pope! He also says that I have a chance to be declared a heretic and/or excommunicated if I do, but the chances are so low! What are the odds of both happening?
Oh.
Well, the library's done, and with it 25 prestige from otherwise completely worthless Abauj! Which by itself, brings us up to exactly 223 prestige, gives us just enough to-
Which by itself, and three months of very slow natural prestige accumulation at a rate of 0.1 a month, gives us just enough to...
Claim the title of the Count of Abydos!
Which brings Otto's title claim up to that German province we'll never get to, Emperor of Byzantium, and Abydos!
As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.
(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer pillaged ruthlessly from phargle's Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))
1100
As the new century begins, the Byzantines are at Civil War. But seeing as it's still the Byzantine Empire, their ability to amass massive armies does not seem to have been hurt too badly...
Meanwhile, child-prince Tsaphas's loyalty continues to drop, and at this rate he will declare war on his liege in nine months, after which Otto can swoop in, declare war, and take Abydos without actually going to war with Byzantium. That is, he could if he had a claim on Abydos, which he still doesn't...
This burning bald man says that I can get 50 prestige by disagreeing with the Pope! He also says that I have a chance to be declared a heretic and/or excommunicated if I do, but the chances are so low! What are the odds of both happening?
Oh.
Well, the library's done, and with it 25 prestige from otherwise completely worthless Abauj! Which by itself, brings us up to exactly 223 prestige, gives us just enough to-
Which by itself, and three months of very slow natural prestige accumulation at a rate of 0.1 a month, gives us just enough to...
Claim the title of the Count of Abydos!
Which brings Otto's title claim up to that German province we'll never get to, Emperor of Byzantium, and Abydos!
Will Abydos rebel against the system and stick it to the Man? And when it happens, will the Three-Countied County of Aargau swoop in to plunder and annex it in its time bereft of the protection that being in the Empire of Byzantium meant? And is this all a metaphor for the follies of today's youth as they rebel against a system that is only trying to protect them from the world's dangers, and those unscrupulous merchants that profit off of their ignorance at their expense? You won't believe your eyes when you read the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
Last edited:
Oif. An excommunicated independent count. That isn't very healthy.
I'm affraid you might find the Prince of Abydos getting claims on your territory and going after you.
I'm affraid you might find the Prince of Abydos getting claims on your territory and going after you.
You could always adopt Demetrios. Pity the game doesn't allow that. Where are those legions of Habsburg daughters when you need one to marry into a family? Better line up those serving wenches! At least when you have gained the County, you can style yourself Prince.
anonymous excommunicate heretic said:
And here in my games, I don't have to use prestige to claim titles I already own...
Obviously, Anon is just piling handicap upon handicap...
j.
Be sure to have your armies ready, or else Emperor of Byzantium will take Abydos before you do... He may either steal your siege or just complete siege in a week with such army.
But, as I said, it would definately be more fun to take Abydos from emperors personal demensne...
And as you're excommunicated, even if you take Abydos, Emperor might just want to kick one heretic out of his lands.. He should have claims on all your land anyway..
PS. "Claim the title of the Count of Abauj!' - shouldn't that be "Claim the title of the Count of Abydos!"?
Edit : ok, ok , Anon never makes mistakes, its just me
But, as I said, it would definately be more fun to take Abydos from emperors personal demensne...
And as you're excommunicated, even if you take Abydos, Emperor might just want to kick one heretic out of his lands.. He should have claims on all your land anyway..
PS. "Claim the title of the Count of Abauj!' - shouldn't that be "Claim the title of the Count of Abydos!"?
Edit : ok, ok , Anon never makes mistakes, its just me
Last edited:
Bloody Pope, I think you should claim his lands as well. Now let us hope that Tsaphas will rebel soon so that you can move in and take his province…
I don't know what you guys are talking about with this claiming the title of Abauj. As you can see I clearly claimed Abydos, not Abauj. The only reason why I would write down Abauj is if I made a mistake, and I don't make mistakes. So there.
Invade Italy and take the Pope hostage, until he declares you King of all provinces with "A"
tHIS iS mUCH mORE mANLY.Snake IV said:Real Men Have Roman Numerals In Thier Names, But Do Not Talk Like This.
nICK
Well, I can't think of any joke about Real Men now, so... google says :
Real Men Wear Briefs
Real Men Wear Nylon
Real Men Wear Briefs
Real Men Wear Nylon
It wasn't the Pope's fault guys! The 50 prestige I gained were actually well worth it. Without it I wouldn't have been able to claim Abydos in time. So we should thank the Pope and send him many silly hats.
Do you believe in black magic? Like I know people in the Middle Ages do.
As our armies fight in Abydos, it looks like the Goseck clan continues to shrink. And as you can only marry court members in your dynasty or homeless schizophrenics pretending to be in your dynasty, and as I'm not about to give up prestige, I mean, female von Habsburgs just so the Goseck line can continue, it does look like it will soon be the end of the Gosecks' page in the history book of the County of Aargau. But who cares about that, we have a cliffhanger! Sure, the battle's terribly one-sided and there's no doubt to the outcome, but it's still a cliffhanger, right? Right? You won't believe your eyes when you read the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
Chapter 3: Abydos
As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.
(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer pillaged ruthlessly from phargle's
Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))
1100
With Abydos due to rebel in three months, our men set sail early, hoping to get there just as they do so so that they do not get beaten to the future siege by a still-loyal Byzantine vassal or the Empire itself.
Meanwhile, Otto's heresy starts taking its toll.
And it happens. Abydos is now raging against the machine(TM).
Rock rock on!
That's right! You can even see our little boat in the upper-right corner.
So basically crazy hobo-man mumbles something incoherent about religious matters and threatens to leave with a drunken slur. But he doesn't even end up leaving and actually stays in the court! Par for course for crazy hobo-man.
Unlike that other guy, Moric is quite sane and a very able military commander, unloading his army on the shores of Nicodemia.
Moric's band of 1587 men do battle with the Abydosians and their fiendish balding marshal!
And to make this an inadvertent cliffhanger the game throws a curveball at us, accusing Spy Master Simon of black magickerieyey! I choose the option to cause least harm to myself. I mean, Otto. Besides, what's the worse that could happen to Simon following such a silly accusation?
Oh, right. Middle Ages.
As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.
(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer pillaged ruthlessly from phargle's
Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))
1100
With Abydos due to rebel in three months, our men set sail early, hoping to get there just as they do so so that they do not get beaten to the future siege by a still-loyal Byzantine vassal or the Empire itself.
Meanwhile, Otto's heresy starts taking its toll.
And it happens. Abydos is now raging against the machine(TM).
Rock rock on!
That's right! You can even see our little boat in the upper-right corner.
So basically crazy hobo-man mumbles something incoherent about religious matters and threatens to leave with a drunken slur. But he doesn't even end up leaving and actually stays in the court! Par for course for crazy hobo-man.
Unlike that other guy, Moric is quite sane and a very able military commander, unloading his army on the shores of Nicodemia.
Moric's band of 1587 men do battle with the Abydosians and their fiendish balding marshal!
And to make this an inadvertent cliffhanger the game throws a curveball at us, accusing Spy Master Simon of black magickerieyey! I choose the option to cause least harm to myself. I mean, Otto. Besides, what's the worse that could happen to Simon following such a silly accusation?
Oh, right. Middle Ages.
As our armies fight in Abydos, it looks like the Goseck clan continues to shrink. And as you can only marry court members in your dynasty or homeless schizophrenics pretending to be in your dynasty, and as I'm not about to give up prestige, I mean, female von Habsburgs just so the Goseck line can continue, it does look like it will soon be the end of the Gosecks' page in the history book of the County of Aargau. But who cares about that, we have a cliffhanger! Sure, the battle's terribly one-sided and there's no doubt to the outcome, but it's still a cliffhanger, right? Right? You won't believe your eyes when you read the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
Last edited: