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Thread: Real Men Do It Alphabetically: An AARgau

  1. #1141
    On the look-out for Grues... MagisterMundi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dysken
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  2. #1142
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    Al-imony.

    Chapter 16: Al Bichri

    As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.

    (All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer transferred unattentively from phargle's
    Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))



    1152




    The Pope has decided to go to war with the Emirate of Medina. I wonder how this will end.




    Also I declare war on those Arab states on the Persian Gulf now, so that the Byzantines can get them too.




    Since they'll make short work of what's left of the Emirate of Arabs I decide to get the most from it as I can.




    Unfortunately they decline, because on the same day they decided to give their entire treasure to the County of Shirvan instead, a one-province independent county of poor Armenians led by a drunk Russian exile!




    And the job of Spy Master/Mistress goes to a von Habsburg!




    Since I don't want to lose her, let's marry her to the man who she replaced, in some sort of twisted breeding experiment that will ignore the fact that the jobless husband will have to come home each day to look into the face of the person that cost his job!




    See the Aegean Islands were chugging along being a nice, friendly part of the Byzantine Empire until a woman rose to its throne. Coincidence? I don't think so.




    Wow, good thing I caught this! Wouldn't it have been embarassing if I had lost Abkhazia? Too bad the game doesn't message you when a siege starts in one of your provs...




    Oh well. The Welsh Marshal was looking for some blood anyways!




    And he got it.



    Well the Aegeans are frustrating. See the plan was to let the Byzantines annex the whole Emirate of Arabia so that they'll be that much stronger for the showdown with the Seljuks. And by that much stronger I mean they'll be able to distract the Seljuks long enough for me to take my provs and beg and beg and beg for peace. But the AI will undoubtedly spend the next several decades not knowing how to handle the civil war that will come of the realm duress that was triggered by the Aegean Islands seceding WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN? Don't miss the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
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  3. #1143
    Pantomacatalasecesionanis ta

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    Quote Originally Posted by anonymous4401


    Since I don't want to lose her, let's marry her to the man who she replaced, in some sort of twisted breeding experiment that will ignore the fact that the jobless husband will have to come home each day to look into the face of the person that cost his job!
    So cruel... so charming

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  4. #1144
    Drunk Russians know that money is very important and Real men were ill served in not getting the diplomat off sooner.You never know the ai may actually stomp all over the Aegean. Why don't the Seljuks suffer from realm duress?

  5. #1145
    General JimboIX's Avatar

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  6. #1146
    Jehanne's Slave Ayeshteni's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by anonymous4401


    Wow, good thing I caught this! Wouldn't it have been embarassing if I had lost Abkhazia? Too bad the game doesn't message you when a siege starts in one of your provs...




    And he got it.

    Wow. The Muslims lost more men than they had in the province. methinks the Welshman killed a couple of extras for fun.

    Aye.
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  7. #1147
    Stupid and without purpose Charle_88's Avatar

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    Welsh Longbowmen - So extraordinarily awesome, they'll kill more enemies than there are on the battlefield.
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  8. #1148
    On the look-out for Grues... MagisterMundi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Charle_88
    Welsh Longbowmen - So extraordinarily awesome, they'll kill more enemies than there are on the battlefield.
    Makes sense to me...

  9. #1149
    Stupid and without purpose Charle_88's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by MagisterMundi
    Makes sense to me...
    Flurries of arrows aren't exactley known for their... discrimination, so to say.
    "Good people drink good beer."
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    88 is my birth year. It has nothing to do with loud German politicians and sexy facial hair.

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  10. #1150
    Crusader for Fun and Profit Murmurandus's Avatar
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  11. #1151
    On the look-out for Grues... MagisterMundi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Charle_88
    Flurries of arrows aren't exactley known for their... discrimination, so to say.
    Not generally. And Welsh longbows were powerful enough that they very might have managed to kill a few of the opposing soldiers twice.

  12. #1152
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    Al is going against me.

    Chapter 16: Al Bichri

    As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.

    (All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer transferred unattentively from phargle's
    Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))



    1152-1153




    Yawn. Tell me when it happens to a courtier of mine whose name I can pronounce, and maybe then I'll care. Seriously, I won't even try.




    WOMAN COURTIER EDUCATION BAD HIGH STEWARDSHIP WASTE BASE SCORE SUBSTANDARD AAAAAAGGGG




    Okay okay! Now I care! Now I care!




    The Sheikdom of Tabaristan rebels against their Seljuk masters. And since the Seljuks can they immediately mobilize ten times the amount of men the Tabaristanis could ever hope for. And their undefeatability is not affected.




    Hee hee. Just because I can.




    Also my BB dropped to zero. Can't let that happen! Not as long as I must take advantage of my 1000+ piety!




    And that!




    Hehe. Ffraid died of her pneumonia at the age of twenty-five. Heh.




    Lousy fairweather Welshman. I give you a base-.60 province full of sand and angry Arabs and this is how you treat me? Just because I grabbed a bunch of claims?




    Ugh I already have enough Illusive Shadows. Why couldn't you have been Midas Touched or something? Oh yeah it's because I NEVER GET A MIDAS TOUCHED COURTIER WITH HIGH STEWARDSHIP EVER


    NEVER EVER EVER NOPE. NOT EVEN ONCE. I BET THOSE TABARISTAN GUYS WILL JUST FALL OVER AND DIE WHEN THE SELJUKS COME TOO. ALSO MY WELSHMAN WILL LEAVE ME AND STEFAN WILL BE INHERITED BY HERMANN THE UGLY AND POOR-STATTED. Don't miss the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
    Last edited by anonymous4401; 20-07-2007 at 07:34.
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  13. #1153
    I think you are underestimating the impact of the Tabaristanis...

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  14. #1154
    General JimboIX's Avatar

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    Well, things should move relatively quick post Al-Bichri, perhaps now that they're distratcted they won't notice you taking it..but somehow I think they can multitask.
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  15. #1155
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  16. #1156
    Chairman of this board Dysken's Avatar
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  17. #1157
    On the look-out for Grues... MagisterMundi's Avatar
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    I'm always astounded by the terrible stats your courtiers tend to have. Your best always seem... mediocre compared to the ones I usually get...

  18. #1158
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    Al step back.

    Chapter 16: Al Bichri

    As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.

    (All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer transferred unattentively from phargle's
    Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))



    1153-1154



    Go Tabaristanis! Survive!...




    Off to the Prestige Mines with you!




    Yeah because I sure didn't like having that extra 10% gold in that province, and at 1000+ piety I really needed 25 more!




    At this point the Emirate of Arabs is in the Ukraine so why not.




    Meanwhile Y-man Cynfyn is replaced by his son Arthfael, thus robbing me of a Diocese Bishop but getting me a more loyal Count of Al Alamayn.




    Oh yeah? Well from now on EVERYBODY will be born into serfdom! Take that, peasants of Adrianople!




    TurkWatch 1154: Reabsorbed Tabaristan with nary a difficulty.




    I found out that I can raise an army and if the province they're on has enough roads they can just sit there at 0 upkeep and have no attrition! So I'm building roads what of it.




    Oh look the Emperor of Byzantium has Realm Duress.




    As does the Emperor of Germany.


    Why can't the Emperor of Seljuk Turks have Realm Duress? Huh? Huh? And it's not like I can wait until the Emperor dies and is replaced by a new one that doesn't have Realm Duress, as that new guy will be me! So I have to get out of Dodge while my chances of having a liege strong enough to distract the Seljuks ever diminishes. Yeah it really looks like I'm gonna have to wait for the Mongols, which is in about seventy years. Don't miss the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
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  19. #1159
    Compulsive lurker nette001's Avatar
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    Since the vassals happily join the Seljuks in war, wouldn´t Beywatch be a better title then Turkwatch?

  20. #1160
    Real Men need to find a Bey or three to assasinate whose successor is the Sultan or take out the competent diplomats in the Sultan's court.

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