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Thread: Real Men Do It Alphabetically: An AARgau

  1. #1101
    Captain bowl of soup's Avatar
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    Me likes the new feature.

    Also what does Aristotle say about conquering the next province?

  2. #1102
    Crusader for Fun and Profit Murmurandus's Avatar
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  3. #1103
    On the look-out for Grues... MagisterMundi's Avatar
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    Methinks that the stress has finally gotten to anon, and now he's developed multiple personalities...

  4. #1104
    Whilst the German emperor has all his regiments, there is nothing Stefan Hapsburg can do, but twiddle his thumbs. He has to hope his regiments don't actually take any provinces and someone does not invade him whilst his troops are away.

  5. #1105
    Second Lieutenant Khaosliege's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bowl of soup
    Also what does Aristotle say about conquering the next province?
    I hope that he does not say something like "Real Men wait for Mongols to take on the Turks"...
    A fight should be clean and elegant, without waste.

  6. #1106
    Go Turkey! General Guisan's Avatar
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    Just kill some of those Turkish guys and make it look like it was their vassals
    http://www.counterpunch.org/2013/01/...fear-of-china/

    Interesting read to all those having had enough of pre-fabricated western media stories..

  7. #1107
    AARlander
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    Weddings, funerals, wars: It's Al here.

    Chapter 16: Al Bichri

    As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.

    (All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer transferred unattentively from phargle's
    Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))



    1149-1150




    Marrying a female von Habsburg to a Byzantine courtier for prestige, doo de doo...




    Amazing how the Ancient Greeks could treat a years-long malady with nothing more than a crutch and some bandages!




    Great, now my steward dies.




    She is replaced by her slightly less homely, slightly less skilled daughter.




    What? A girl, becoming a scholar!? Not on my watch! 'Oh dear!' indeed, event engine! I'm glad you agree with me!




    I hope this Byzantine Emperor has far better luck than his predecessors in not being a stupid idiot.




    And for more boring news, some boring- What!?




    All right! Time for action!




    Woooooooooo!




    Oh, and TurkWatch: 1450? Still insurmountable.



    Argh, great job! And I say that sarcastically, if the italics were not clear enough. This war with the Emirate of Arabs was supposed to distract from the total and complete lack of progress on the Al Bichri situation! But no, you just had to remind them of the existence of the Seljuk Turks right at the end of the update, didn't you? Don't miss the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
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  8. #1108
    AARlander
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    Remember the AARland Choice AwAARds you guys!
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  9. #1109
    Will this be the first province lost? it would give the AArgauans something to do whilst waiting for the Seljuk to self-destruct.

  10. #1110
    A faulty cog GrimPagan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by anonymous4401


    Oh, and TurkWatch: 1450? Still insurmountable.
    Amazing how times flies when you are doing absolutely nothing.
    Repress Your Anger
    Think Negatively
    Be a Good Blamer
    And Throttle Your Inner Child


  11. #1111
    General JimboIX's Avatar

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    Have to bite the bullet one way or another. Byzantine Emperor is bound to be incompetent.

  12. #1112
    Subscribes*

  13. #1113
    Crusader for Fun and Profit Murmurandus's Avatar
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  14. #1114
    On the look-out for Grues... MagisterMundi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Murmurandus
    Real Men Just Close Their Eyes And Jump Right In...
    Real Men Fight Better When Completely Out Numbered.

  15. #1115
    AARlander
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    Going Imperi-Al.

    Chapter 16: Al Bichri

    As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.

    (All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer transferred unattentively from phargle's
    Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))



    1150




    And I join the Byzantine Empire! Just in time for the Byzantine Emperor to suck me dry of all my bodily fluids! I mean income! Yes, income.




    And since I'm in the Byzantine Empire now, I declare war on all those little Arab shiekdoms that stretch from Syria to the Caspian Sea!




    Meanwhile Petros von Habsburg, the prodigal Count of Al Amarah, battles for his life!




    Fear not, Petros, for help is on the way!




    And don't worry! When the Arabs breach the gates of your Medium Castle you and your ridiculously high-statted children can come live with your uncle Stefan in Abydos! And then he will make sure to defeat those mean Arabs and take back Al Amarah with an army led by himself this time so that he could give it to someone who won't take all of his high-stat children with him! Sound good?




    Aww.




    Oh and a funny note here. I thought that this offer would give me 331 ducats, not take it away from me! So in haste I eagerly consented. Boy what a silly little mistake!




    Well I guess the stewardess didn't think it was so silly.




    Very well. My new Steward is Hugo von Habsburg, Stefan's nephew and husband to my Spy Mistress!




    Well the armies of Byzantium sure have piled upon Tell Bashir with gusto!



    That Petros von Habsburg is just not a team player! I really wanted those high-stat children, too. Also that Byzantine Emperor is not a team player. What kind of team player takes more than half of the income from everyone else on the team? Some sort of team Emperor or something? I don't know what he thinks gives him that right! Don't miss the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!
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  16. #1116
    General JimboIX's Avatar

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    The kind of Emperor that won't disown you when you sign his death warrant by declaring war on the Seljuks, knocking out Al Bichri for a quick peace for all your gold and then leaving him to hold the bag? Instead, he'll wait for you to disown him. He could be that guy. Or just a loser individualist. Could go either way.
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  17. #1117
    Jehanne's Slave Ayeshteni's Avatar
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    *snort*

    Nonny screwed up.

    Ayeshteni
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  18. #1118
    Crusader for Fun and Profit Murmurandus's Avatar
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  19. #1119
    Stupid and without purpose Charle_88's Avatar

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  20. #1120
    Paying out all that money did for the steward. I assume that you'll have the Byzantine Empire on the borders of the Seljuks.

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