Real Men Do It Alphabetically: An AARgau

**Jon Young** · 29-09-2006 11:22

I feel your pain, Anonymous... I keep switching between past & present tense when I try to write AARs and it drives me up the wall...

At least you pain is amusing

**stnylan** · 29-09-2006 11:43

In an AAR such as this, should there be reasons, should there be consistency?

Throw everything up in the air, and let the words fall where they will.

**General Guisan** · 29-09-2006 19:31

Yeah, give those stupid Aargau people a nice kick, no one in my canton (Zürich rulles) likes them anyway, they are all white socks carrier

**chefportnen** · 29-09-2006 21:20

that was..... interesting...

**anonymous4401** · 02-10-2006 03:22

Chapter 1: Abauj

As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.

(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer stolen blatantly from phargle's
Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))

1067-1069

Almos's wife is pregnant. I wonder if-

Never mind.

Bowl haircut, fragile jawline, pinched face... This fleeing noble makes the perfect accountant!

And Almos is remarried. They grow them quite homely in Poland, it seems.

Aargau is Prosperous! Take that, you non-prosperous provinces! Compare your prosperity to mine and then kill yourselves!

And let's check in on a CK AARland celebrity: Knud Svendson Knýtling! With a second wife that's neither a sow nor perpetually crying (and very good in stats!), some prestige in his hat, and some actual gold in his coffers, it looks like he's enjoying life better than his phargle counterpart!

I can understand why he took a year to work up his courage.

And it's a daughter! Yay!

Just what will Aargau do with its newfound prosperity? Is it creepy that anonymous4401 is planning Almos's daughter's marriage 16 years beforehand? And what will happen to Knud Knýtling in anonymous4401's game? Because even in a different AAR, his story is still far more interesting! Find out next time on the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!

**anonymous4401** · 02-10-2006 03:23

And I will advertise the AARland Choice AwAARds in this AAR, as I do it in every AAR I write. Go and vote!

**Registered** · 02-10-2006 03:25

Whazza! an update to acompany my insomnia, much oblidged.
How's you prospective annexee doing? Any more heirs yet?

**stnylan** · 02-10-2006 05:57

Nice to see how old Knud is doing.

**Shuma** · 02-10-2006 07:47

Originally Posted by anonymous4401

And what will happen to Knud Knýtling in anonymous4401's game? Because even in a different AAR, his story is still far more interesting!

...who cares about that lazy bugger! I'm sure his province ain't prosperous!

**Murmurandus** · 02-10-2006 09:30

Originally Posted by anonymous4401

...

I can understand why he took a year to work up his courage.

...

But she has a funny name...

Oh, and say hi to Knud for me...

**Askar** · 02-10-2006 21:12

Maria Swinka = Mary The Pig in Polish. I think that explains the looks

**phargle** · 02-10-2006 22:06

Originally Posted by anonymous4401

Never mind.

<3

This is the kind of humor that makes this kind of AAR work. It's fun to be lewd and add text and all that, but occasionally CK hands you a zinger that you can't just ignore.

Keep it up!

**Soulitaire** · 03-10-2006 21:56

yup. great read! and let us ignore the Bs while the As... while the one A is still to be tackled. Slow does the job. Often.

**anonymous4401** · 04-10-2006 07:25

Chapter 1: Abauj

As told with many pictures. And a moderate amount of words.

(All formats, fonts, layouts, and even this little disclaimer stolen blatantly from phargle's
Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales))

1070-1071

Not one, not two, not twelve, but seven liberal arts! And all of them discovered, not spread, but discovered, simultaneously by the Aargauans! Bask in our technological superiority, surrounding technologically backwards counties! And by bask I mean feel inferior! And by in I mean to!

Meanwhile, Aargau has enough gold to build something! And it only took four years!

We shall build a forestry.

I can't think of anything funny here. There's nothing inherently funny about forestries. They give you the +5% gold that you'd expect from a 100-gold building, but in addition to that they give you -5% building time, which means you effectively get one extra month of benefit for every future gold-producing improvement you build. See? Not funny at all. BORING.

This fleeing noble warrior's name sounds familiar...

And it looks like Hungary is fighting pagans! We keep our fingers crossed as if Abauj falls to them, to annex it we will actually have to fight somebody for it! And that is certainly not the von Habsburg way!

Another daughter for Almos! Hooray!

An Itinerant Bishop, you say? Most likely he'll become my Marshal or something.

Stop.

Everyone, stop what you are doing. Look at this man.

His name. His name is perfect.

One day, Berthold of Aargau, I promise you that your descendants shall rule Aargau forevermore. And they will all bear the name of of Aargau, which is like a team uniform only better.

Our forestry is completed. Again, there is no joke, for again, forestries are just not that funny.

And Almos has another daughter. If this were some sort of bizzaro-world where women were considered equal to men, and thus could inherit, Almos's line of succession would be set. Thankfully, such a world remains but the fantasy of some absinthe-drinking philosophers that stayed up too late one Sunday morn.

Since when did Aargau become such a fount of technological innovation? Why is Werner still ruling Aargau when there's a guy with a much more fitting name for it in his court? And are forestries really that unfunny or is anonymous4401 just being lazy with the jokes? Find out next time on the next exciting episode of Real Men Do It Alphabetically, an AARgau!

**Murmurandus** · 04-10-2006 07:47

I can only concur that forestries are not funny...

**ComradeOm** · 04-10-2006 11:15

Originally Posted by Murmurandus

I can only concur that forestries are not funny...

Until now

**stnylan** · 04-10-2006 12:15

Forestries are vital to any CK AAR. There should be more time devoted to them

(disclaimar - comes from the person who spent an entire update talking about setting up a Fishing Wharf)

**phargle** · 04-10-2006 15:11

Eric von Fart will strike pfear into the pfhearts of his enemies.

Forestries are funny, but not as funny as fishing wharfs. When I re-read the Knuds for inspiration, I always chuckle out loud when I get to the wharf joke.

I demand a joke concerning a forestry.

**Jon Young** · 04-10-2006 15:30

Originally Posted by phargle

Forestries are funny, but not as funny as fishing wharfs. When I re-read the Knuds for inspiration, I always chuckle out loud when I get to the wharf joke.

I demand a joke concerning a forestry.

*Ahem*

The count come upon a group of earnest looking peasants, carefully planting a tree... on the edge of an already thriving forest.

Why would you do that, stupid smelly peasants, he asked.

They reply, we were told to build a forestry. We already had a forest, all we had to do was add a 'try' (tree) on the end.

Humour has come a long way since mediaeval times

(runs from shower of rotten eggs, tomatoes etc)

**Llywelyn** · 05-10-2006 02:42

I don't see what's not already funny about forestries

All the +5% gold you'd expect from a 100-gold building,
with a -5% building time you'll come to love.

Forestry, the king of Biers

(or maybe Europe isn't as bombarded with Bud Lite ads as America is...)

Thread: Real Men Do It Alphabetically: An AARgau

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Wherein progeny-related misfortune happens to Almos Oeroesur.

An Aargau for the rest of us.

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