Theodoros - The Little Republic That Could

Chapter 14 - The Big Time
When we last checked upon the enliughtened Theodorans some time ago we found the nation to be in something of a golden age as peace, prosperity, hygiene and the ever wise never aging Alexander ruled the land. Under such conditions a Greek nation cannot fail to do well.

To truly prove that Theodoros was blessed by God in it's quest to liberate all Greeks from the foul Italians a man appeared performing feats surely only possible through the power of God. He was able to remove stains from any fabric with a small amount of 'holy liquid'. He was soon recognised as a saint and his actions miracles, no more would Theodorans have to throw out good white clothes because of a clumsy spill of red wine. The people, knowing they no longer had to fear stains suddenly found themselves a little more stable and less rebellious.

The reign of terror of stains like these is over!

Later the saint would make his 'holy liquid' available in handy spray bottles

But when your nation is clearly the greatest (and if there's one thing Theodorans pride themselves on it's this) anywhere it can prove something of a magnet to the less desirables of the world. Such was the case when a bunch of Uzbeks from neighbouring Kouban revolted and headed for the golden paradise of Theodoros. However its fairly common knowledge that you don't become a golden paradise by letting Uzbeks in so they were refused entry at the border.

Dirty Uzbeks try to spoil paradise

Having spent some time as a vassal the people of Cephallonia had received many of the benefits of being Theodorans such as compulsory daily baths and eviction of all Italians. But other rewards like liquid hand soap were kept solely for full Theodoran citizens. So when Cephallonia was offered such privileges in exchange for their independence they were glad to accept such a generous deal.

Theodoros' new possessions mean many more fully liberated Greeks

The people of Kouban, still wanting, but not able to emigrate to Theodoros saw that one had to be part of the country to get the benefits took upon themselves to make a radical move. They declared themselves to be a part of Theodoros.

Kouban revolts to Theodoros from Uzbek

Alexander and indeed most in Theodoros found it an unwelcome development. Kouban could offer little return to Theodoros, the people were positively filthy and Muslim and whats more there was it's size. The addition of Kouban almost doubled the area of the not yet big principality. It was more than enough to give Alexander agoraphobia just thinking about it.

So measures were put in place to ensure that the Uzbeks stay in Theodoros would be as unpleasant as possible with the hope that they would return from whence they came.

Ensuring that conditions were actually unpleasant for the Uzbeks proved harder than first thought as none dared venture into the wide open dirty lands of Kouban. Until the arrival of Aether that is.

Aether had been raised in Italy and as such was accustomed to filth and the ways of dealing with it. Due to this ability he liked to refer to himself as a conquistador of all that is unclean. Seeing his bravery would be of great value to Alexander he volunteered to lead a band of men into Kouban to ensure that all persecution was carried out in proper order.

Aether heads for the agoraphobia inspiring Kouban to inspire fear in the populace​

Chapter 15 - Out Of The Darkness Into The Clean

As we last saw little old Theodoros things were all looking rosy with one exception. That ugly tumourous Uzbek infested growth of Kouban that clung to the not yet big nation like mud on a Venetian. Aether was undertaking efforts to encourage them to leave such as random beatings, evictions and more importantly the confiscation of scrubbing brushes.

But as mentioned already Theodoros was doing well overall. Alexander was particularly pleased with the finances which healthy enough to allow him in indulge in all manner of face creams to keep his very old complexion looking youthful and radiant.

Some local beauticians add the final touches to Alexander hydrating night cream

The financial state of Theodoros

With everything looking so good (Especially, as he was prone to say himself, Alexander) there was really nothing else to do but liberate some Greeks from the clammy unwashed fingers of Venetian oppression. War was declared in 1559.

The immediate objectives were the Greek provinces of Morea and Krete.

The initial invasion

Both provinces were taken with event after a year. Venice showed little response to be attacked proving once and for that Italians are on par with trees when it comes to reaction speed. The next task in the war was Corfu. Several minor naval skirmishes occurred and the Venetians made a half hearted invasion of Montenegro before fleeing back home a month or two later. Theodoros was well in control of this war.

You can call an Uzbek smelly. You can call him unclean but you can't call him smart. After years of persecution the population of Kouban finally cottoned on to the idea that they mightn't be welcome and began a movement to leave Theodoros.

Venice's problems extended beyond the Theodoran invasion. The people of Cyprus revolted and freed themselves to become the second Greek nation in the world.

A new Greek nation is always welcome

After the fall of Corfu the brave soldiers moved onto Venice itself. Meanwhile closer to home the Kouban issue finally removed as the province thankfully declared itself part of the Ottoman Empire.

That much better

Matters remained peaceful in Theodoros over the next few years. The siege in Venice was proceeding much slower than hoped. Fortunately though if there is one thing Theodorans pride themselves on it's their resolve and they refused to let the drawn out war get them down.

A Theodoran poster to help keep morale up during the drawn out war

Finally in 1569 after over seven years of siege Venice was captured. The horrors witnessed within it were greater than any had imagined. Even the streets of the city were actually nothing more than sewers and Italians were everywhere.

The Grand Sewer of Venice

But the Venetians placed a lot of value on their sewer ridden city and offered to turn over to Theodoran control all the lands they owned that were Greek.

More Greeks get to enjoy freedom​