Rommel: So, Lifeless. You think you have what it takes to fight people who, not only have nothing to live for, but are threatened, beaten, and ball-kicked on a daily basis, and are forced to love a man who has caused all this pain?
Lifeless:...
...I-...I-....yes.
Rommel: GOOD! Now, when June 22nd comes around, I want you to be walking to the frontline with 2nd squad. (OT: Most movies have important people 2nd into battle, not first, and they have to fight more. Bwahahaha. Ooops, back to the story)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------On June 11th...
over the radio of the Soviet military throughout:
general of Crimean region: *static* Help! Help! We are being bombed!
supreme land commander: Say again, general?
G of C: I said we are being bombed! The Germans are attacking!
SLC: That's preposterous! We made a treaty!
German soldier on radio: Hello?
SLC: What is this?
soldier: We have your treaty, right here. Up and down, my buttcrack it goes. WHEEE!
SLC: Augh! *coughs*
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all over the Soviet Union, radio reports came of repeated bombing. Then, cam reports of soldiers being shot up. This was scary for the russians. They had not thought of a defensive plan for the German attack. Now, it was pure manpower vs. tactics. who would win?
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2nd Squad Leet: Okay squad, the battle has begun. Lifeless, I want you to go with DerHoffenhieminschwitzer and flank the Russian machine gun nests.
Lifeless and that one guy: Yessir!
Lifeless and the hard to pronounce German named guy moved towards the machineguns. Lifeless readied his rifle, and DerHoffenhieminschwitzer threw a grenade. The soldiers manning the machine guns were shocked, and awed, at the same time. They began to retreat, but lifeless shot them before too many escaped. Then, the rest of the squad joined.
Lifeless: Where were you guys?
2nd Squea leet: Hmm? Oh, we were just watching you from that concealed bush area.
Lifeless:
...
leet: What? Let's go!
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leet: Okay, now over behind these bushes are some artillery guns. I want Lifeless and DerHoffenhiemenschwitzer to plant bombs on them. Any questions?
Lifeless: Yeah, what'll you be doing?
leet: That is classified information. Now, get going!
Lifeless and Der Hoffenwhatsit crawled stomach down in the mud and prepared to shoot the Ruskies. Der Hoffman aimed his STG 44 trademark gun at the officer, and Lifeless aimed it at some poor guy picking his nose. As soon as the guns went off, both rushed the M'Fers. Lifeless jumped into a Matrix leap, and couldn't get out of it. He was face to face with another Russian dude doing the same, but a Der Hoffen bullet ended that right away. Bombs were planted, and they got out of there. But...
Lifeless: Whew! That was close, wasn't it, Der Hoffen?...Der Hoffen?
Der Hoffenhiemenschwitzer was laying dead on the ground.
Lifeless: No...no! DER HOFFENHIEMENSCHWITZER!!! NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
scene fades...