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Golden Horde - Scourge From The East

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Grundius said:
Are you certain of that Saulta? Don't make jokes about the evil teachings of the uzbek, my friend :D.
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You're sure the Uzbeks can teach? The Horde hasn't let anyone of the Uzbek persuasion learn to read in centuries. Their horses have a more extensive understanding of words than the Uzbeks.

The chances of anything intelligent coming from Uzbek is a million to one.

The Horde may not know what llamas are either. Chigakka would have been much more insulted if the Hadramut had said that he had an Uzbek mother.

A few personal rugs and the Swedes will be begging to part of the Horde alliance. If nothing else that shoould guarantee a war with Poland and Muscovy and who knows, they may attack all sorts of strange people - just like the Iraqis.
 
Chief Ragusa said:
You're sure the Uzbeks can teach? The Horde hasn't let anyone of the Uzbek persuasion learn to read in centuries. Their horses have a more extensive understanding of words than the Uzbeks.

The chances of anything intelligent coming from Uzbek is a million to one.
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Umm... I think you'll find that it is uzbeks - plus, it's not fair to compare horses to uzbeks. After all, horses know not to revolt non-stop for 100 years - the uzbeks clearly don't...

By the way DoW - awesome AAR. It's a bit of a tome to get through by now, ut well worth it. Keep up the good work!
 
Uzbek revolts every five minutes lead one Khan to mark their continued stupidity by decapitalising them. It would certailny be unflaterring for Uzbeks to be compared with horses as they would not fare well at all. The Horde find horses useful and good to have around, unlike Uzbeks ...

If the Scandidiots persist in winter invasions, i'm sure they too will be decapitalised within the updates.
 
Grundius said:
Are you certain of that Saulta? Don't make jokes about the evil teachings of the uzbek, my friend :D.
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I am certain of that Grundius. Because In Tatar Russia it´s the Uzbeks who makes jokes about evil teachings of the friends, my friend. ;)
 
...especially seeing how he's building breweries :eek: !

Hm, hmm. I too think you should take care of the wannabe tatars - their lands look pretty bad, sticking deep into the Golden Horde as they do.

As for the "scandidiots" it would appear there isn't much you can do about them without braving the wrath of winter yourself... When I did my Novgorodian Russia game I thought to grab all the ugric provinces and I later did - but Sweden was ever a VERY tough nut to crack, solely because winter helped them push me back. Of course, then I got to Siberia; now there would be little contest.
 
I'd be careful allowing the Swedes and Uzbeks to get too familiar. They could breed a super-stupid race that could be a thorn in the side of the Horde for ages! :eek:
 
stnylan - No where near as much as the OE at least. I still hope for the Russians too try their luck as the Swedes just did.

The Real Deal - Indeed it does. But I'm staying away from BB wars for now.

Deus - It's sure to.

Grundius - They will be if only I coulb get a CB. 4BB to DOW without one just isn't worth it. Maybe once by BB goes down a bit then I will.

Bismarck1 - I'll include a map of Europe in one of the coming updates.

GrimPagan - :rofl: Too true.

Saulta - I should hope so.

Storey - I had 17 they had 22. My cavalry advantage was able to overcome the CRT advantage they had.

Chief Ragusa - Ust Urt is Tatar. It always was I just included it in uzbek culture to increase the amount of provinces revolting. Caniapiscau is uzbek now.

SunZyl - Anti-Swedish? Never.

CatKnight - Thanks.

J. Passepartout - Exactly, hence the reason the letter from Hadramut was so insulting. How dare they not treat Llamas with the respect they deserve.

draik - Thanks. Glad to see you know the correct spelling.

GregóriodeMatos - Not a wise move on Chigakka's part.

Rotten Venetic - Winter is a pain. I would really have liked to get into Sweden and vassalise them but the attrition was so bad it just wasn't worth it.

coz1 - Maybe, if they can work out how to do that that is.

lordvagrant - Thats a lot to read, thanks for doing so.
 
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Chigakka : Part 3
With the Scandidiots dealt too, wealth flowing in and no enemy on the horizon Chigakka was apt to get a little complacent with things. Afterall why not the Horde seemed to be truly secure. So during this time Chigakka held the inaugural Oligpik Games.
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The logo of the games
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Some of the festivities of the opening ceremony, other highlights included the chase of a specially imported uzbek by Horde riders
naadam-1.jpg

In the true horde spirit of comradery two opponents treat each other to a hand massage before the competition
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But the goodwill wasn't limited to hand rubs, as these two riders show when they celebrate after winning the Buskashi Cup.​

All in all the Oligpik games were a huge success as Chigakka's popularity soared to new heights. However there was dissent amongst some traditionalists who felt the games had lacked the crucial element of beheadings. They were worried that if beheading ceased to be a sport then soon enough it might fall out of favour as a punishment too. Chigakka was forced to concede that the lack of beheadings had been a poor government policy and vowed to include them at the next games.

What had seemed a trivial matter to many in the Horde was the closing of the border between the Medina and Mekkah. But it was no trivial matter for the many thousands of pilgrims on their way to complete their Hajj. Despite their pleas for leniency and common sense in the matter Chigakka, buoyed by his popularity among most, refused.

Instead he headed north and celebrated the opening of the brewery in Saleharo. So impressed was he by the quality of it's output that Chigakka immediately commissioned another in neighbouring Kondinsk.
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A second brewery is opened to further remember the explorers​

As Chigakka's popularity amongst the common people and the army ever increased his displays of wealth and arrogance angered the conservative religious factions ever more. Given the situation with the Hajj there was a volatile atmosphere. It all exploded in early 1675. As Chigakka left his palace in Daghestan he was attacked. The battle was short, swift and sharp. Especially sharp for Chigakka indeed as he was pierced many times by arrows. Yet one more Khan went down due to a failure to balance the many factions of the Horde. But the difference this time was that so many really liked this Khan. This would not be a simple issue of finding a new Khan.
 
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Isnt it obvious, the new Khan should be adept with money and public relations...

...the new Khan should be the general manager of the popular Berkerkhan...he can hand out Uzbek burgers on election day as well as promise strong economic growth, Im guessing they must be rolling in it if they can afford to sponsor the expensive Oligpik Games.

Good update, I really like BerkerKhan, are they for real?
 
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Dying in ambush almost seems to be natural causes for a Khan.
 
The Khans seems to have several natural ways of dying:
stabbed
beheaded
ambushed and run through

What is it with Conservative Religious types, you finally have a Khan who has solved many traditional problems and they kill him off? Perhaps the Scanidiots are not the "natural" successors to Uzbek stupidity. I lked Chigakka. He knew how to enjoy a good drink, uzbek hunt, Swede bashing and was just the man to lead the Horde into the eighteenth century. Those killjoys get religion a bad name. The next khan is going to have a purge of such types - assuming that a pro-religious Khan either proves impossible to find or fails to stick around losing his head in the process.

As the Horde never do anything by halves, the crackdown could lead to a severe shortage of persons of the religious persuasion.
 
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I am surprised the religious folk aren't up in arms about the breweries as much as the closing of the border to mekka. Considering that the Horde is supposed to be muslim and all....I would think brewing alcohol would be a big no no. But what do I know?:)

Another Khan Bites the Dust....:) The next one ought to be smart enough to ensure he has a larger retinue of guards. Say, an entire regiment perhaps? Another good update, DoW!
 
A sad day for the Horde.

The 4BB for dowing Muscovy indeed is a little steep. Is there no way to fabricate a CB? Flooding a CoT of theirs perhaps?
 
I hope that one will set Chigakka on display inside the world largest vodka bottle, as a testament to his greatness.

What does Saleharo and Kondinsk produce since you are so generous with the breweries up north? Althought, Alcohol does have a lower freezing point then water, so it might reduce the chance of freezing to death, and thus improve living conditions. Or lower the living improvement depending on your point of view, death may be one of the few highlights of living so far north.
 
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