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Yulbaris : Part 7
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Now that's funny! Damn I'm hungry but I think Samarkand is a wee bit too far from where I live. I guess I'll have to wait for a branch to open near me. :D

Joe
 
"Now that is an interesting Tatar Times" said a Tatar.

"But they still dont know our plans" said a Russian.

"Do I have to take the brunt of this" murmured the Pole.

"YES!" shouted the Tatar, Russian, Uzbek, and Ottoman.

"I want my leg back" the Turk growled.

"Is wants mys cotries bcak" whispered the Uzbek.

Good update and just my opinions of whats gonna happen. :D
 
Great idea, Duke! Is that a one-off or is this the new look for the AAR? It would be cool but I imagine it takes a lot more effort. I'd like a mail subscription to the Tatar Times in any case! :)
 
Very funny. Especially the colony drive.
 
Very funny. I wonder, however, if the first article gives an accurate description of the balance of power with Poland. Good luck with them.
 
Hysterical, DoW. Much better marketing campaign for a colony than, say, 'Iceland'.

Vann
 
Storey - I shall have to try to get one open closer to you then ;)

Nobegow - Thanks and will do.

billy bob - Haha, very nice. I hope your wrong about the Turks though

Farquharson - Thanks. I got the idea from Nil-the-frog. It did take longer than usual and I wasn't really happy with how it looked in the end. I might use it again in the future but it's not really suited to my normal style of update.

stnylan - Thanks

Grundius - I'd say theres just a little bias in the article :p

Iche_Bins - Thanks it was something of an experiment, I'm glad it was liked.

Vann the Red - Thanks. Iceland isn't really a marketers dream is it? But neither is Siberia so a little artistic license had to be taken.
 
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Yulbaris : Part 8
The fact that Poland had declared war indicated she thought she had a chance in this war. The Polish army even acted like it did by going on the offensive immediately.
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Poland makes a stupid move​

In Polish offensive proved to be pointless. They met the Horde's cavalry on the plains of Jedisan. It was a very one sided affair but it's suffice to say that Jedisan will be more fertile from now on.

So far Yulbaris had had much luck in following the traditional ways of the Golden Horde. Now he turned once again to texts on Ulugh the Great and took his next technique from there. He let Poland invade. Once in the Golden Horde's land they would be worn down by lack of food, cold and eventually the hooves and steel of Yulbaris and his army.
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Poland plays right into the trap

As the winter of 1599 set in the men of the Polish army begged to be allowed to return home. Their request was denied by the mad Polish king. This refusal to budge led to one of Polands darkest days, the Slaughter of Kiev. Polands army were busy laying siege to Kiev. All about them the snow lay thick on the ground. It had kept supplies from reaching the siege for several weeks now. It also kept the scouts from being able to return fast enough to warn of the coming Horde army. Led by Yulbaris the Horde swarmed over the surrounding hills taking the Polish by total surprise. Every one of the nearly thirty thousand Poles was killed.
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Not a single Pole retreats from the failed siege

With the Horde safe from anymore invasions for the time being Yulbaris sent an offer to Shirvan. Head on over and join the Golden Horde or your head will be over on that table not joined to your neck. As with other 'diplomatic' efforts of the Golden Horde it all went smoothly. At last Shirvan became part of the Golden Horde.

As the snows receded from Podolia Yulbaris dispatched an army to begin trying to take Polish lands. Unfortunately the army was repulsed but it was a Pyrrhic victory for the Polish who lost more than twice as many men as the Golden Horde. This war was truly going the way of the Tatars. Even in victory the Poles were barely succeeding.

With the incorporation of Shirvan into the Horde some of the small Sultanates more entrepreneurial found themselves with increased freedom (The Sultan of Shirvan had been repressive of private business). They set up a bank and just to ensure they were allowed to remain open sent a personal gift to Yulbaris.
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I really really really love this event

With the coffers full, a good number of reserves behind the border and clear weather ahead it was time to invade.
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The invasion of Poland begins​

The sieges went routinely with a few half hearted Polish attempts at removing them repulsed easily. Unfortunately the winter arrived early in 1600.
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Podolia was abandoned, the loss in men was not worth the province. Chernigov on the other hand had nealy fallen already. As Yulbaris was debating whether to stay and lose men or leave and lose his progress in breaking the walls his question was answered. The walls fell and Chernigov was his.

The war now passed into a frustrating cat and mouse phase. The Poles had one thing going for them. They could raise many men to fight, presumably they also had a good propaganda effort that kept the real results of the war hidden from the population or none would have joined the army.

Yulbaris spent the next two years trying to destroy the remnants of the Polish army but as fast as they were killed they reappeared again. But the Polish were tired of the war too. They accepted Yulbaris' peace offer in June of 1603. 100 ducats and the province of Chernigov became the Golden Horde's.
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Chernigov joins the Golden Horde
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The Golden Horde is now the leading producer of something more useful than salted wool​
 
Small tip w/ winter sieges: When the winter comes, hit "Cover" twice. This will split off two armies of 1000 men each from your main army. Then withdraw your main army and leave the covering force. It'll soak up the attrition for that month, but if your covering army is still there (i.e. it hasn't routed or anything), then you'll keep hte siege progress and can pick up right where you left off the following spring.

(The reason you need to do it twice instead of just once is because I've noticed that, sometimes, if an army falls below 1000 men in enemy territory, it'll lead a retreat back home at the beginning of the month.)

Overall, looks like good progress against the Poles. Apparently, 1242 wasn't enough of a lesson for them :p Hope to see more good things from the Horde :)
 
Good Job. I wanna see Yulbaris's great plan of Kiev.
 
Great job teaching those Poles a lesson. And by taking only one province off them it may leave them stupid enough to DOW you again! Meanwhile I'm glad to see the Horde can now offer the world Armoured Salted Wool! :D
 
A short war! A marvel!