That guy that got killed by the steps, the story is like this :
Fritz I - "We must kill that bastard!"
Follower - "But how?"
Fritz I - "Hmm... just send some spies. Oh, and get my wonderful clothes ready, I want to look good when I take over that horde!"
Follower = "Yes my lord."
*A day later*
Follower - "All the spies are dead!"
Fritz I - "How?!"
Follower - "
o They fell down some 100 steps..."
Fritz I - "Ahh, oh well they were just here consuming food anyway. I'm sure they lost lots of weight in that step exercise..."
Wladyslaw IV - "Alright, that idiot Fritz I failed."
Follower - "Yes."
Wladyslaw IV - "So lets send some spies in disguise as nuns (Fritz I just told the spies to go in burgular uniform so they got murdered anyway once they got down the steps by some random uzbek soldier who just poked his 1371 spear in the stomach and got one of their kidnies and said "ooh, lunch..." and licked his lips)
Follower - "But..."
Wladyslaw IV - "Don't make me get this 455 spear on you!"
Follower - "Urmm... thats just a wooden spade..."
Wladyslaw IV "
NOW!!!"
Follower - "Yes... of course! *runs out*
One day later.
Spy 1 - "Hey dude, check it out!"
Spy 2 - "What"
Spy 1 - "That dumb Uzbek dude is running after his dinner!"
Spy 3 - "What is it?"
Spy 1 - "Some flying turd..."
Spy 2 - "Hurls out on the border guard"
Border Guard - "ARGHHH JUST GO THROUGH!"
Uzbek - "Hey, dude whats up!"
Spy 4 - "Hey, hows it going?"
Uzbek 2 - *throws spear through all of them because they were in a vertical line*
Uzbek - "That
bloody turd won't let me eat it!" (pun lyric)
Wladyslaw IV - "Ah, well, I like killing dudes anyway."
In the court of Liechtenstein...
Vann the Red - "Let's try and get that shit monarch!"
Noble - "But how?"
VtR - "Send some spies there..."
Noble - "We don't even have 10 ducats sir.. we aren't even close anyway..."
VtR - "Take out a loan!"
Uzbek 3 - "h, ermm... hey!"
VtR - "Get that crap OUT of my room"
Uzbek 3 zooms arrow and it misses.
Noble - "Hah is that all you got!"
Uzbek 3 - *Gets a 1677 rifle out* Uhm... no..."
*URGHH RUN FOR YOUR LIFE*
Well, it's obvious what happened
*Khan is coming*
Step 522 - SHhh... that fag is coming... act normal...
Step 112 - Sure...
Khan is humming.
Step 560 - Hey dude, check this out...
Khan - *looks*
Step 561 - Hey, what'd we do? Why are you staring (pun lyric) at us!?
Khan - *horrified*
Step 560 - Gets a huge boot of italy and kicks the khan
Steps 560-600 just lay spikes up and the Khan falls down.
Hmm... I wonder what happened