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Thread: Calling in the Old Guard: Austria 1936

  1. #1
    Major Passivocalia's Avatar

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    Calling in the Old Guard: Austria 1936

    The entire Austrian cabinet stands assembled, for today is a day of terrible significance. Today, Austria must decide how to maintain its freedom, and, God willing, take away the freedoms of some others. Both Chancellor KURT SCHUSCHNIGG and President WILHELM MIKLAS are in attendence. The meeting is called to order.

    The title theme for Rent begins playing. The Government bursts into a flurry of movement.
    Then everyone except KURT and WILHELM freezes in a group.



    [KURT]
    How do you run a German Reich
    When the most German-minded
    Would rather see it die?



    Ethnic states, sovereign lands,
    Vaterland
    And now this demand:
    “Let us unify!”
    Anschluss!


    [WILHELM]
    How do you rule a fascist state
    When the countries you hate
    Are the ones who ensure your right to “be”?
    You sit and you cower
    When you once had the power
    To bring foes to their knees!



    [KURT]
    Now we’re payin’ the cost

    [WILHELM]
    For that war that we lost

    [KURT and WILHELM]
    How we gonna stop
    How we gonna stop
    How we gonna stop
    This Anschluss?

    [KURT]
    We disband the Heimwehr


    [NOTE: moved political slider once to the left; government is now Paternal Autocrat]

    [WILHELM]
    How do you arm the lot
    When your manpower’s shot
    And your resource lands are fresh new regimes?



    [KURT]
    How can you retake your place
    So far back in the race

    [KURT and WILHELM]
    So far back it’s obscene?



    [KURT]
    You claim ethnic cores

    [WILHELM]
    [approaches the map of Europe, making a mark south of Austria] Like Trento –

    [KURT]
    [also approaches the map, making a mark to the north] And Tábor!



    [KURT and WILHELM]
    How we gonna stop
    How we gonna stop
    How we gonna stop
    This Anschluss?

    [Lights go over from Austria and east toward Hungary, to Regent MIKLÓS HORTHY DE NAGYBÁNYA, who's on a phone]


    [MIKLÓS]
    Benito, listen
    It’s me – Miklós
    You know, the regent of Hungary
    Hey hey hey! (How’s Ethiopia?)
    Well you should know that Austria’s invading



    But Benny – do you really want old Austria back?
    He won’t declare war
    He won’t declare war
    Hitler won’t attack ---
    They haven’t taken every core (exactly)
    But it doesn’t really look very bright
    You got our back, right?
    Last edited by Passivocalia; 23-01-2006 at 19:59.

  2. #2
    Major Passivocalia's Avatar

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    [Lights move south to Ethiopia, to Emperor HAILE SELASSIE, who is commanding a group of beleaguered troops]


    [HAILE]
    How do you make nations work
    When land’s seen as some perk
    By each two-bit jerk
    (Less two-bit than you)
    ‘The League of Nations’
    Some operation
    Everyone to your stations!
    They’re attacking!
    What’s there to do?

    [KURT]
    [at the map]
    They’re routed!


    NOTE: King George V lives just long enough to see Europe descend into chaos.

    [HAILE]
    Getting pounded!
    [He flees.]



    [KURT and WILHELM continue studying the map. Crosscut to ARTHUR SEYSS-INQUART, on a phone]


    [ARTHUR]
    Adolf, mein Führer – you sound mad
    I don’t believe those guys, after all you’ve worked for
    That “Fatherland Front” thinks Nazis are dirt –They’ll see
    We have all their best interests in store

    [lights fall on the Austrian Cabinet, Ethiopia, Hungary, and Arthur's location. The following is sung in unison]

    [ARTHUR]
    Forces are gathering
    Forces are gathering
    Can't stop the Reich
    Forces are gathering

    [HAILE]
    Ugh...
    Ugh...
    Ugh... it's insane
    Ugh...
    Ugh...
    Ugh... my kingdom for a plane!

    [KURT]
    The cavalry charges the lines with
    fierce derring-do



    [MIKLÓS]
    Benito--I'm not an army person

    [WILHELM]
    The infantry inspires fear
    with eighteen-year-old guns

    [MIKLÓS]
    I'm a freakin' admiral

    [KURT]
    March on to the future with your past
    glories all avant-guarde

    [MIKLÓS]
    Hello?

    [KURT and WILHELM]
    And inspire a new generation with obsolete dreams

    [MIKLÓS]
    Hello?

    [no longer singing in unison.]

    [The phone rings during the meeting. KURT picks it up.]

    [KURT]
    Hello? Benito?
    --We’re at war?
    No, wait, don’t go!
    [stares at silent phone]



    [KURT and HALF OF CABINET]
    How do you leave past defeats behind
    When the future keeps finding ways to mark you out
    Modernising to a new rally cry
    No free Austrian can rightly shout:
    Anschluss!

    [WILHELM and OTHER HALF OF CABINET]
    How can you connect in an age
    After defeat, partition, depression
    Your own people disown?

    [ALL AUSTRIANS]
    What binds an empire together
    When the shifting flames of modernity
    Swallow it whole?

    [ARTHUR]
    Gain the upper hand
    When united we stand!



    [WILHELM]
    Draw on power of past

    [KURT]
    If you want it to last!

    [ALL AUSTRIANS]
    Time to act tough – before they call our bluff

    [KURT and WILHELM]
    We’re all gonna stop

    [KURT, WILHELM, and HALF OF CABINET]
    We’re all gonna stop

    [KURT, WILHELM, and OTHER HALF OF CABINET]
    We’re all gonna stop

    [KURT, WILHELM, and ENTIRE CABINET]
    This Anschluss
    Your Anschluss
    No Anschluss
    Anschluss Anschluss Anschluss
    We’re not gonna Anschluss!

    [KURT and WILHELM]
    ‘Cause everything is Anschluss
    Last edited by Passivocalia; 14-05-2010 at 17:44.

  3. #3
    Best intro for any AAR ever. period. end of story. ITS AN AUSTRIAN MUSICAL AND ITS GREAT! good luck staying alive in this one!

  4. #4
    Member of that Dreadful SBC Nameless's Avatar

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    That was dad-gum good! Keep it up!
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  5. #5
    Alternative Affairs Specialist TekcoR's Avatar
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  6. #6
    the Quiet One Red Boxer's Avatar
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    This is impressive.

    Haile = Tom Collins?
    ? = Mimi?
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  7. #7
    Standing applause! (Five falling jaws for that intro)

  8. #8
    #1 Producer of lame excuses Blodwen's Avatar
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    Your AAR is the first to make me use a smiley, here it is:


  9. #9
    Banned Tambourmajor's Avatar
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    Now if this AAR isn't Broadway worthy...

  10. #10
    Irken Tallest Arilou's Avatar
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  11. #11
    Wow. This is the coolest AAR I've ever seen. Hope it keeps up this style!
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  12. #12
    Who is John Galt? Earth's Savior's Avatar
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    Very strange, yet very good.
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  13. #13
    Canadian Nationalist Spitfire_Pilot's Avatar

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    good luck agienst Italy. and good AAR.
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  14. #14
    just one word. or rather 3 letters. WTF
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  16. #16
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  17. #17
    Norway über alles kenneththegreat's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tambourmajor
    Now if this AAR isn't Broadway worthy...
    *picks up phone*

    Hello, is this Broadway?
    Yeah, i'm callin' from Norwa...
    Yes i know it's on freaking Christmas Eve, but there's something important here
    There's a new musical that us strategy freaks have composed
    Yeah, if you want a script i could e-mail you the link
    Ok, thanks
    A pleasure, bye

    They're gonna check it out

  18. #18
    Untrustworthy poo EvilSanta's Avatar
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  19. #19
    Member of that Dreadful SBC Nameless's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by kenneththegreat
    *picks up phone*

    Hello, is this Broadway?
    Yeah, i'm callin' from Norwa...
    Yes i know it's on freaking Christmas Eve, but there's something important here
    There's a new musical that us strategy freaks have composed
    Yeah, if you want a script i could e-mail you the link
    Ok, thanks
    A pleasure, bye

    They're gonna check it out
    YEAH! We is gonna be famous!! w00t! Plucked from near obscurity!
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    USA 2010!

    Currently attempting to turn America into a right-wing theocracy. When I'm not busy handling snakes, that is.

  20. #20
    Hey nameless since we are all headed toward famousnessdom do i get credit for discovering him since i was the first reply??


    P.S. I love the christmas eve siggy!

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