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Thread: Screw You, Japan. Screw you HARD.

  1. #1
    Mostly Harmless oddman's Avatar
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    Wink Screw You, Japan. Screw you HARD.

    So I'm playing Nationalist China.
    Japan is my worst enemy, I know that from the start.
    GC36, H/A, decided to get into the axis instead of Japan. This is where things go wrong. Let me elucidate.
    Things go smoothly at first: I decide to get my things in order, as not to burden Germany with an ally who is at war (thereby costing them Anschluss and Czechoslovakia). I mop up ComChi, Guangxi declares on me and I annex, Shaanxi and Yunnan declare, I annex, all the while spending IC on supplies (to buy raw materials...) and consumer goods (to get rid of starting dissent), researching the damn basics with my crappy research teams (also, land doctrines by Alexander von Falkenhausen). All in good fun. 37, I managed to upgrade a significant portion of my army and Japan invades. They are repelled By Chiang Kai Shek and Alex (gotta love him). I 'liberate' Korea, managing a peace with Japan, giving them Korea back and them giving me Taiwan and the other provinces they stole from me.
    So far so good.

    After peace with Japan, I want to get into the Axis (by now, we're well into 1938). Problem is, I chose 'forging the united front' to avoid Isolationism and dissent, so I am in alliance with Xibei San Ma and Sinkiang. Yay. I am, however, not a Major Alliance and not at war, so I can kick them, right?
    Well, think again.
    I can't kick them out. I decide to solve this the quick and easy way and 'appropriate' them by Acceptall and Demand Territory instead of kicking them out of alliance and taking them by force. End result the same, I am happily accepted into Axis (93% chance, nice!). Being mostly united, my raw IC is intimidating (considering the difficulty, of course) and by the start of WW2 I have the largest army in the world, consisting mostly of plain (if modern, '39) INF and Militia ('18, guarding the coast). Research into subs (as well as doctrines) is ongoing with German help. By the start of WW2 the Chinese have 30 subs.
    Germany refuses Memel (wts?), Italy takes Albania, Poland refuses to give Danzig. Chinese troops pour into Kashmir and Burma.
    About 6 months later, most British holdings are now Chinese, and Germany declares on Holland and Belgium, allowing me to take the East Indies. I liberate India to rescue my retardedly overloaded TC and promptly Japan declares war on it. Fortunately, this has little to no effect as the Korean (mountainous) border is properly defended as are the beaches.
    Slowly but surely, the Dutch East Indies fall (with the loss of many a Chinese INF div to Davy Jones' locker due to sunk transports, dammit). Japanese regularly invade, being teleported back to Tokyo as they are not at war with HOL. Also, I acquired Siam and Tibet.
    End '40, the Japanese independent warmongerers declare on USSR. Whatever turns them on.
    Early '41: Barbarossa. Chinese wave slowly rolls north and west into Kazakhstan and Siberia. Tannu Tuva and Mongolia are annexed.
    Chinese Sub Navy wittles away at Japanese and UK fleets.
    mid '42: Korea taken, Asian Far East totally Chinese, not USSR or Japanese.
    Japanese navy reduced to three destroyers and one transport with one hella annoying admiral I can't get close to so keeps dumping single divisions all over the (by now liberated as Indonesia) East Indies. Japanese army reduced to three infantry divisions and seven garrisons (rest destroyed after amphibious landings pushed into sea and in Korea). Intrepid Chinese land on Japanese Mainland. Japan agrees to be puppeted. Of SOV only Leningrad remains defiant.
    Japan, as newly Chinese puppet, with no navy to speak of, no army and little airforce, promptly decides to screw their overlords over good and declares war on the United Bloody States of Metric Fucktons of IC and High Technology. Good idea, Japan. Even as a puppet you manage to screw the Chinese.

    (May need some looking into, this. Also, even though I united all the Chinas I still got a 'united front against soviet aggression' event when I was at war with USSR, thereby giving me Isolationism and Dissent or Democracy, neither of which suited me.)

    EDIT: some language, to not upset the fragile minds of the readers
    Last edited by oddman; 21-10-2005 at 14:59.

  2. #2
    You might want to change such a loaded title

  3. #3
    Paul Bäumer's gravedigger Becephalus's Avatar
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    I did think the metric fucktons of IC bit was pretty funny. You can't always get what you want!
    Its always darkest right before it is completely black -Chairman Mao

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  4. #4
    Colonel cumi's Avatar

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    Beside such an ally, you don't even need an enemy.

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    Leading the Mombotian Horde Lurken's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by icefenix
    You might want to change such a loaded title
    Agree. This is a PG forum, which means no naughty words.
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  6. #6
    The hated one
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    indeed you should edit the language.....
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    Leading the Mombotian Horde Lurken's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fiendix
    indeed you should edit the language.....
    He can't edit a threadtitle, only moderaters can.
    "Godfather of the Superpower games" according to people
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  8. #8
    Mostly Harmless oddman's Avatar
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    Done, but I can't change the title.

  9. #9
    Second Lieutenant JBEtexas's Avatar
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    Disappointing thread. I hope it is deleted quickly as it makes us all look bad.
    HOI3 is by far the best grand strategy game available, so enjoy and praise it's strengths and resist only complaining and picking apart it's weaknesses!

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by oddman
    Intrepid Chinese land on Japanese Mainland. Japan agrees to be puppeted. Of SOV only Leningrad remains defiant.
    Japan, as newly Chinese puppet, with no navy to speak of, no army and little airforce, promptly decides to screw their overlords over good and declares war on the United Bloody States of Metric Fucktons of IC and High Technology. Good idea, Japan. Even as a puppet you manage to screw the Chinese.

    (May need some looking into, this. Also, even though I united all the Chinas I still got a 'united front against soviet aggression' event when I was at war with USSR, thereby giving me Isolationism and Dissent or Democracy, neither of which suited me.)

    EDIT: some language, to not upset the fragile minds of the readers
    I am truly sorry --- but I am still laughing my heart, guts and gizzards out at this AAR and how it all pans out.

    On a more sober note -- yeah, there are some "young generals-in-training" that look at this site -- so better to keep the language at PG rating.....otherwise their mothers will get onto us...and you know what that means......

    ANGST
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  11. #11
    Unreconstructed Hamiltonian
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    What he said. (JBetexas).

    You have to be careful with whom you liberate/relese/puppet and be aware of what the (game) date is - even puppeted nations tend to execute the hardcoded history that pertains to them.

    The only way I'm aware of to avoid a JPN DoW on US is to play JPN (which is how I'm playing my current game).

    Jeez, guys, don't you like it when the AI throws you a curveball? If I want a walkover, I'll play Civ III on Chieftain.

    Sit back and enjoy the war - it's the only one we've got

  12. #12
    Caslucifer
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    Very funny story! And c'mon, everybody uses that word... Try to be in his place and you can understand his feelings
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  13. #13
    Colonel Twotribes's Avatar
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    Doesnt bother me, his language, however, I am not worried about posters reaction, rather Paradox reaction. They tend to have no sense of humor and take certain things VERY seriously. It is their board and failure to live up to their expectations can result in not being allowed to visit said board.

  14. #14
    Go Turkey! General Guisan's Avatar
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    Very good to hear you gave the japanese a good bit of revenge

    Still, the title may upset some ppl, so I suggest changing it won't hurt..

    Greetings from China, btw
    http://www.counterpunch.org/2013/01/...fear-of-china/

    Interesting read to all those having had enough of pre-fabricated western media stories..

  15. #15
    Colonel Twotribes's Avatar
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    Oddman, maybe send a mail to Paradox ( Is that possible?) and say your sorry and ask them to change the title , explaining you didnt realize it was a no no.

  16. #16
    HoI3 SF LUA Developer Demi Moderator Lothos's Avatar
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    You used in game exploits to achieve your goal so not sure if any information in this AAR is any good for making AI adjustments. You used the mass sub fleet bug to destroy the Japanese navy. If you had not done that more than likely 80% of your achievements in the Pacific would have not been possible. Oh well its your game some people like to play that way.
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  17. #17
    Lt. General nwinther's Avatar
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    You can just PM a moderator. Vulture or whoever manages this area.
    It's always easy to critizise.....Fun too!

  18. #18
    Major ROMMEL_HSQ's Avatar
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    the United Bloody States of Metric Fucktons of IC and High Technology
    where did you bring this from

    anyway...this will make your game funner....I'm mean...USSR is out and and the british maybe strong in the Africa....USA will make it much better game.
    But watch out you beaches US- marines are waiting their

  19. #19
    A faulty cog GrimPagan's Avatar
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    Heh, reminds me of how Germany always screws me over as Italy, when germany gets provinces in France and Russia, while I gets zero nada, even if I was the one who possessed most of the land, because of the events in the game creates german victories.

    That's said, while I don't mind the F-word, some people do, so you should better change the title before the moderators does.

    Edit: This is offically my new sig

    Quote Originally Posted by oddman
    Japan, as newly Chinese puppet, with no navy to speak of, no army and little airforce, promptly decides to screw their overlords over good and declares war on the United Bloody States of Metric Fucktons of IC and High Technology. Good idea, Japan. Even as a puppet you manage to screw the Chinese.

  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by oddman
    Japan, as newly Chinese puppet, with no navy to speak of, no army and little airforce, promptly decides to screw their overlords over good and declares war on the United Bloody States of Metric Fucktons of IC and High Technology.
    You silly boy! Everybody knows that the US doesn't use metric!

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