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The beginning of the update made me think of a mafia-like roganisation, family and friends engaged in 'business' activities. Then Old Charles tries to prevent notice of his tears. I liked the contrast of the two ideas of nefarious activity and family suffering.
 
A very intense scene showing the great love of this family. And I think it is interesting that Jean witnesses this just after the memories that have been playing around in his head.
 
coz1 said:
And I think it is interesting that Jean witnesses this just after the memories that have been playing around in his head.
Very true. I had not even noticed this. Which proves once more than comments are just as interesting for readers as they are for authors.

Like JP, I thought about "the Godfather". No particulary scene came to mind. Would be a mix of the wedding at the beginning and the eldest son's death later on :wacko: .
 
J. Passepartout Well, given that this is family engaged in criminal activities with a definite patriarch, the mafia obviously springs to mind. Old Charles is as much a symbol as a person too, and Jean just for a moment there saw beyond the mask.

coz1 Certainly one of the things that is now possible to some degree is to contrast the two families, at least a little.

This entire sequence is working differently now that I have included those memories.

Nil-The-Frogg It may surprise you to know that I have never watched any of the Godfather Trilogy - though I do actually own the DVDs. Currently they are on one of my shelves, waiting for me to be organised enough to watch them. I suppose I could file it under 'educational viewing' or something. But I was hoping to convey something of that impression here, making explicit the nature of the Red Lion, and of course the mafia is the most obvious analogue. Then, family businesses, be they ultimately criminal or legitimate, will always have certain similarities.

All Just done this feedback as I have written the next update, and am now working on the editing. If I stay awake long enough to complete that, it'll be posted tonight. Otherwise it will be tomorrow night.
 
The Past (18th June 1682) - Continued

“Is he alright?”

Mary looks at me. She shakes herself free of Red Charles and steps across the corridor, her eyes still red but bright. “Is he alright?”

“Yes,” I answer, swallowing. “He needs some time alone. Are you?”

She shakes her head. “No.” She wipes the tears from her eyes. “But I will be.” Two people jostle pass us. “And I would prefer to be somewhere more private. Charles, why don’t you find Richard and Edward, and get them to help you bring some food and drink to my room?”

“Certainly – and Giovanni?”

“Why, Giovanni will keep me company while you are gone.” A shadow passes across her face. “I do not think I want to be alone, just now.” She takes my hand in her own. “Come on.”

Red Charles smiles at me, and goes in search of his brothers. Mary tugs lightly on my hand, and she leads up the stairs. One arm trailing, her hand holding mine, she walks like a dancer. I flush as I realise what this could mean, in any establishment, but Mary thankfully does not see my embarrassment.

Her room is a larger than either her father’s or her son’s. The far third is hidden behind a screen, a four-poster bed dominates the centre, and against the left wall is a dressing table. Filling the space are a couple of chairs, two benches, and a low set table.

“Please, sit,” she says. She disappears behind the screen, and emerges carrying a small bowl of water. She places it on the dressing table, and with a moistened cloth, starts to dab her face. “You get on well with my son.”

“Charles? He has been very kind to me.”

“Oh he likes you. He was telling me all about you last night, before what happened … happened.”

I lean forward. “Forgive me, but what actually took place?”

She turns about, and leans against the table. “There is nothing much to tell. He was attacked by three bravos in the street just outside late yesterday, just before curfew. But they were seen. Two were killed outright by the archer on the roof. The third Charles himself clobbered before one of the others drove a sword through his belly. We took that one in, he was still alive then.”

“Then?”

She smiles, without humour. “Oh, then he was asked questions far less gently than that Frenchman you had imprisoned here Giovanni, and I killed him once he had told us what he knew.” She looks beyond me, at something I cannot see. “I am glad I was able to do that.” She sighs. “Though my brother is still as dead.”

I blink, and try to steer the conversation elsewhere. “I am sorry not to have known him.”

She nods. “We were going to have a proper family dinner for you, once you killed Martin. I suppose we might yet, but …” She swallows hard, and her fingers clench the edge of the table. Her whole body goes rigid, and I start to stand, but something seems to let go, and the tension slips out of her.

She exhales a great burst of air. “I am sorry.”

“Do not be,” I say, making a dismissive wave of one hand. “You loved him-”

There is a knock, and someone scrabbles at the door. It swings open to reveal Charles, cradling a tray beneath one arm. “Lunch coming through!” he says, almost tripping as he enters.

“Take care!” his mother snaps, “I do not need soup on my floor. Put that on the table and sit down.”

Richard and another man, who must be Edward, follow Charles. Richard carries another tray, but Edward holds two jars and tucked under each arm a couple of beakers.

“Soup, bread, and cheese,” Red Charles reports, “and I’ve broached a barrel of the decent beer.” He takes one of the jars from Edward, and fills us each a beaker.

“Hello Giovanni,” Richard murmurs to me as his brother serves. A beaker is thrust into my hands. Charles takes his own beaker last and faces us all. He raises it high.

“To Charles!”

“To Charles,” we echo, and drink. I try not to make a face at the bitter taste, but the food is better. I say very little for the rest of the afternoon as Charles and his two brothers do their best to entertain and distract their mother. For the most part they succeed, telling stories and making jokes, but now and then I see her face go blank. The third or fourth time she catches me looking at her. She smiles for a moment, just at me, before asking Charles for another drink.
 
stnylan: ...I swallow. “I will,” I say. “If I can.”

stnylan: ...GhostWriter Not that Jean's job was particularly easy in the first place ;)

stnylan: ...“..and I killed him once he had told us what he knew.”...

with the loss of all of the assailants, Martin de Faro may not know that Young Charles is dead - - until the arraignments are made for his funeral... :rolleyes:

also, with the loss of the assailants, de Faro will realize that the Red Lion clan will know who did the deed...

it appears, stnylan, that you are trying to get Jean killed in the past ! ! :D

hmmm. well, that is certainly one way to prevent the murders "in the present"! ! ;)

most excellent updates! ! :cool:
 
She smiles, without humour. “Oh, then he was asked questions far less gently than that Frenchman you had imprisoned here Giovanni, and I killed him once he had told us what he knew.” She looks beyond me, at something I cannot see. “I am glad I was able to do that.” She sighs. “Though my brother is still as dead.”
Now, Jean will know that she's well aware of the family's affairs and that she's a true "Charles" too.

We were going to have a proper family dinner for you, once you killed Martin. I suppose we might yet, but …
That's well in line with the catch phrase "frinds are really a chosen family". Here, that's more a friend becoming family, but still. I come to realize that an alliance between the De Fontenays and the Charles is inded frightening. Beware Spaniards, the unified Franco-English (or Englo-French, as you prefer) Empire rises! :D
 
I would like to take a close look at those assailants.

It may surprise you to know that I have never watched any of the Godfather Trilogy

I have also actually never seen those movies, although I am familiar with the horse's head and the 'offer he can't refuse'. However I have read a few good books about real mafiosi.
 
One thing I've learned from organized crime, unless you are willing and ready to be engaged in a long and bloody underground war, you don't off a member of a rival Family. You might beat the hell out of 'em, you might take out an associate or employee of the Family, but you don't take out a member of the Family. It's just a bad, bad move. And when you take into consideration the power and strength of the Red Lion clan... Martin de Faro just made a really, REALLY BAD move.

I predict that this is going to get quite bloody before the dust settles. I do believe we might just wanna say a Pater Noster for de Faro, 'cause we know Jean comes out of this gang war alive, as does most of the Red Lion clan.
 
I have to agree with Draco here. Consider even Mary's reaction...killing the other man herself. You did well to show both her strength and her vulnerablity in this scene. Nice. :cool:
 
GhostWriter But of course I am! Where is the fun in giving him a cakewalk? ;) In truth though, it is open question whether Martin truly realises who he is dealing with.

Nil-The-Frogg Well, it is not really one the Spanish need to fear, as so far it has greatly benefited the stability of the Spanish state. However, it is a formidable combination, when utilised correctly.

kingmbutu The actual attackers were in the employ of this Martin de Faro. Who he is, well, that has not as yet been fully explained.

J. Passepartout More than me. My knowlege of the mafia, real or fictional, is entirely dependent on incidental things I have picked up along the way. Thus I have no idea about the "horses' head" etc.

Draco Rexus Another way of looking at it is that de Faro is in over his head. He's trying to play with the big boys, and about to discover they don't pull their punches.

coz1 Thanks! It was a tricky couple of updates to write as I want to tread this line. Mary is probably at her most vulnerable and emotional now, but I didn't want her to come over as an emotional wreck. To some extent the only reason that third attacker lived was for that line. She is very much her father's daughter, a very independent woman - remember, different (and undisclosed) fathers for each of her (at least three) children. Able to hold her own in family councils. But still human. There are a whole range of badly written female stereotypes I am desperately trying to avoid with Mary. We will see how well I do.

All The various mafia comments are, I suppose, as much a comment on our own times and the majority of criminal fiction in television and film in our own time as anything else, and to some degree a real reflection of organised crime in some parts of the western world. I very much thought of that scenario when I crafted the Red Lion family. However, it is an anachronism I feel I ought to admit. The criminal tradition, as it were, that Old Charles & co truly belong to is that of English (specifically Westcountry) smugglers, about which I know even less than I do the mafia. I do feel a sense of missed opportunity here, but I am now in too deep to change things (and I should add, I am most definitely not unhappy with the way things have turned out). Still, a lesson for the future.

A further update is in the works. Cross fingers touch wood, it will be done tonight.
 
GhostWriter said:
it appears, stnylan, that you are trying to get Jean killed in the past ! ! :D
:rofl:

I have never seen the Godfather movies, either, although it's on my to-do list!

Interesting that Mary is part and parcel of the family activities too. Interesting moment of doubt/anticipation as she led up the stairs. :rolleyes: But where is Elizabeth?

You know... Since you mentioned Jean's first meeting with Charles, it made me think back in retrospect. I don't think I had any idea (nor did Jean!) how dangerous it was for Jean to do what he did. These aren't amateurs here!

Great work, Stnylan!

Rensslaer
 
I really must say - all of you that have yet to see the Godfather films...stop what you are doing right now and watch them! At least the first two. The third can be saved for that rainy day sometime later. But the first two are classics of cinema and if you enjoy film, you are missing out on two incredible examples of the best cinema has to offer!

Now Mr. Coppola...I hope you are reading as I want a stipend for that plug. ;)
 
Rensslaer Ahh Renss, I fear that you might have confused timelines a little - easy to do in a family that has a fondess for the same names between generations! In 'the present' Red Charles has two daughters, called Mary and Elizabeth. Mary is named for his mother, who is this Mary in 'the past'.

Oh, and Jean had no idea what he was getting himself into, or who he would be dealing with, not really. He does know.

coz1 It's truly shocking isn't it. I thought I would be almost the only one to be so deficient in my education, but I am glad to see I am far from the only one. Who knows, I might manage to watch at least the first one this weekend - all depends whether I am mad enough to try to watch on of the WS games.
 
The Past (18th June 1682) - Continued

Afternoon stretches into evening. Edward is describing in detail his latest flame when there is a knock on the door.

“Come in!” Mary calls.

Tall William enters. “My apologies,” he says, “but Charles has asked me to bring you, Charles, and Giovanni downstairs.”

“About time,” Mary breathes. “Edward, please, we must go, but stay in the Inn tonight. When we are done I will want to finish hearing about this girl. It is important to me.”

Disappointment and hope fight in his features before they clear. “Of course.”

“And I ought to return to the cellar,” Richard says. “Paul of York was roused early so that I could be here.”

“Your doing?” Mary asks Red Charles, who nods. “Then give him my thanks,” she says to Richard. Tell him, I am in his debt. William, lead on.”

The Red Lion is filled with so many rooms I am starting to feel confused, but I recognise this one. It is where Carlos and I had breakfast. Old Charles is standing, waiting. He is in complete control. Mary walks to him, they embrace, and part.

“How are you now, my dear?” he asks, examining her at arm’s length.

She conducts a similar study. “Improving.”

“Shall we sit?” he suggests, waving us to chairs around the table. “I have spoken with the priests at St Thomas a Becket. We will bury Charles on Saturday, and conduct a vigil for him tomorrow night. Martin expects us to retaliate, but not, I believe, when we are taking care for our dead. That, Giovanni, is your opportunity.”

I take a deep breath. “Do we know where he will be?”

“Of course. We know his lair, its layout, and its security, and there will be a breach – similar, Giovanni, to that which allowed you to penetrate this very building. William here knows the necessary details.”

A moment passes. “How?”

He chuckles “When it first became apparent Martin would become someone in this city, gathering those who have become his followers, I ensured their number would include some whose first loyalty is to this family.” The smile fades, and a frown begins. “For a time I even considered making Martin an associate, but even then there was an … unruliness about him, so I let him be.”

“A mistake,” Mary says, fire in her eyes.

“So it has proved,” Old Charles says.

She stares at him. “He will not venture this alone.”

Old Charles holds her gaze. “No. Charles and William at will be on hand to assist. But he owes us that death.”

I consider speaking, but seeing the steel in their glares I relent.

Mary smiles and the tension fades. “And for all his qualities, my son stomps rather than sneaks.”

“That is not entirely true,” Red Charles says.

“True enough,” says William.

“Giovanni,” Old Charles says, “you may use our equipment, or not, as you please. Now, if you three youngsters will excuse us, there are some matters about the funeral that I need to discuss with my daughter.”

It is a dismissal, and we leave. “Come,” William says in the corridor, “let us find another room so that we can plan this excursion.” It will be a long night.
 
Are the Charles' Catholic or do they just pretend to be Catholic for the sake of appearances in this most Catholic of nations? Anyway, St. Thomas a Becket Church is good for an Englishman, not as good as St. George's but they would have to go to Catalonia for that.

I really must say - all of you that have yet to see the Godfather films...stop what you are doing right now and watch them! At least the first two. The third can be saved for that rainy day sometime later. But the first two are classics of cinema and if you enjoy film, you are missing out on two incredible examples of the best cinema has to offer!

Actually, I got The Godfather from the video rental store for my brother because they wouldn't give it to a minor, but it got returned before I could watch it. Granted, I had a schedule that precluded watching movies during the week, unlike him, but hey.
 
“And for all his qualities, my son stomps rather than sneaks.”
And especially good line.

It occurs to me that Jean is learning a great deal more of this group after this circumstance than he had before. I almost get the feeling that you as author are beginning to care for them more at the same time as he. It's a pleasure, to be sure.

And I will continue my Godfather campaign - Much the better for Lord J. Roxton, JP. Watch it, watch it, watch it! It, of course, means both as they are truly one long movie, parts I and II. And genius, to boot!
 
stnylan: ...“About time,” Mary breathes. “Edward, please, we must go, but stay in the Inn tonight. When we are done I will want to finish hearing about this girl. It is important to me.”

so, is this girl a daughter, or a niece? ? :D


stnylan: ...“Giovanni,” Old Charles says, “you may use our equipment, or not, as you please...”

Jean is quite familiar with a dagger because he has one. however, this time perhaps he should use a dagger that he can throw away... ;) as an unfamiliar gun may only be useful as a defensive weapon at range... :rolleyes:

excellent update! ! :cool:


coz1: ...And I will continue my Godfather campaign...

while i haven't seen the third Godfather movie, i heartily endorse coz1's recommendation to see the first two. and, read the book! ! :) it was worth every minute of the sixteen straight hours it took me to read it ! ! :D