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Thread: Fear Russia! A Bukkhara AAR Redux

  1. #161
    Pangalactic Gargleblaster Lord Boreal's Avatar
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    Speaking of updates..when will we see one?

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  2. #162
    Topaz-Fisted Demi-God Moderator Mr. Capiatlist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Boreal
    Speaking of updates..when will we see one?
    When he stops reading my wonderful AAR
    Take your time Anon. lest you spit out crap every week like SNL.
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  3. #163
    Pangalactic Gargleblaster Lord Boreal's Avatar
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    Update Anonymooooooooooooose! More burning sheep! More exploding cows! More Dr. Xylem, more big wodden tron things! Weoweoweoweoweoweoweo!

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  4. #164
    Discoverer of Mombot Ciçatrix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Boreal
    Update Anonymooooooooooooose! More burning sheep! More exploding cows! More Dr. Xylem, more big wodden tron things! Weoweoweoweoweoweoweo!
    I agree.
    Weoweoweoweoweoweoweowoewoewoewoewoewoeowewoeweo
    (that siren sound got slightly messed up, but that is because of the Doppler shift. )
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  5. #165
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    I shall start writing my update for this AAR tomorrow , with or without game data.

    EDIT: Strange how quickly tomorrow came.
    Last edited by King of Minors; 20-04-2005 at 21:43.
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  6. #166
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    A guest update, approved by author.

    Graffiti and history
    After the war with Khiva, where Organic Turtles, Elephants, and two provinces were gained, Bukkhara entered a time of stability and peace, young graffiti artists obtained several maps of Bukkhara, and added their own “creative” touches. This AAR shows their work, and adds a bit of context to these art pieces of the internationally recognised “Turtle 'n' Elephant” style.

    Exhibit 1, The peace:

    This artwork depicts the peace proposal from Khiva, offering the famous Organic Turtles. Unfortunately for Khiva, because of misunderstandings between the two languages, (Uzbehk and Tajikh,) Khiva was forced to secede half of it's territories.

    Exhibit 2, The new Bukkhara:

    This artwork shows the borders of the new Bukkhara, and also the famous Organic Turtle, the subject of great mystery in Bukkhara, and, by some, even seen as the reincarnation of Muhammed. Also note the expression of joy: “We WON!!!”, this is the only time this expression has been used in Bukkharan history.

    Exhibit 3, The aristocracy:

    This artwork shows the popular perception of the Bukkharan aristocracy, also, the artists have expressed their pride in their home city, home to nearly one third of Bukkhara's population.

    Exhibit 4, The new populations:

    This artwork, originally a map of the new territories, and a population count for the province of Turtkul, has been turned into a conspiracy theory, linking the Uzbehks, (note the alternative spelling in the painting,) to Dr. Xylem, one of the chief figures of the Khivan resistance, who used to live on a secret floating base in the centre of the Aral sea.

    Exhibit 5, The unemployed:

    This artwork is again an expression of the popular disrespect against the Uzbehks, it should be noted that the original map was produced only a day after the end of the war, and the labourers had not had time to get back to work, so this artwork is slightly unfair in it's depiction of the Uzbehks.
    .
    Exhibit 6 and 7, Russian encirclement:


    These two artworks depict the fear the Bukkharans showed against the Russians, this fear had deepened after the construction of Russian trading posts all around Bukkhara, effectively surrounding the country.

    Exhibit 8, The budget:

    This artwork, originally the report from the treasury, has been decorated with the phrase: “Poor (lolli)-POPs”, to highlight the poverty of the Bukkharan population, and also to add some humourous word games to the artwork. Also at the bottom of the picture, it can be seen that state propaganda has persuaded the artists that the negative income is in fact a lie.

    Exhibit 9, Technology:

    This artwork displays creative use of colour, in the way that “Water Wheels” is written in blue, undoubtedly to symbolise water. Also note the optimism of the artist, using the word “soon” when, in fact, simple calculations reveal that it would take at least 15 years to research this technology.

    Exhibit 10, Bankruptcy:

    This artwork is, by many “Turtle 'n' Elephant” art critics, regarded as a masterwork, the simple word, “Whoops!” embodies the feelings of the whole Bukkharan nation at the time of the first state bankruptcy.

    Exhibit 11, Bankruptcy, the positives:

    Yet another treasury report, but, this time, with slightly better numbers, the artists have noticed the link between the recent bankruptcy, and the positive budget imcome, due mainly to the absence of interest payments, and the increased export of Bukkharan goods.

    Exhibit 12, Fear Russia!!!!:

    This artwork is the perfect embodiment of the Bukkharan feelings at the outbreak of the Khiva-Russian war, note the quadruple exclamation marks, a sign of the great force behind the words.

    Exhibit 13, The city on the road:

    This artwork depicts the Silk road, and the city of Samarkand, long a big and important city. Note the course of the Silk road, winding it's way through the hostile Bukkharan landscape by the shortest route.

    Exhibit 14, Troops across the border:

    This, the penultimate artwork in this collection, depicts the troops reactions at eyeing each other over the border, luckily, they were not at war, because otherwise, the “AAAArh!” would have been so long, that the paint would run out before completing the word.

    Exhibit 15, Opium:

    This final artwork shows the Bukkharan wishes to keep their attractive little plant at home, this can also be seen as the reason for the sudden stop of creative work in Bukkhara at this time, the artists seem to have found other things to do.........
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  7. #167
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    Good, an update. Does this mean I get my one-sixth of Henry v. Keiper's soul soon?
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  8. #168
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    I...suppose..

    Sorry about not giving you the game data sooner. I needed to get it ready, is all.

    All right, I suppose it counts. I shall award KoMinors one Henry v. Keiper's soul, and by agreement the_shy_kid will receive 1/6th of said soul.
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  9. #169
    Discoverer of Mombot Ciçatrix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by anonymous4401
    I...suppose..

    Sorry about not giving you the game data sooner. I needed to get it ready, is all.

    All right, I suppose it counts. I shall award KoMinors one Henry v. Keiper's soul, and by agreement the_shy_kid will receive 1/6th of said soul.
    You seem dissapointed?
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  10. #170
    Leading the Mombotian Horde Lurken's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by anonymous4401
    I...suppose..

    Sorry about not giving you the game data sooner. I needed to get it ready, is all.

    All right, I suppose it counts. I shall award KoMinors one Henry v. Keiper's soul, and by agreement the_shy_kid will receive 1/6th of said soul.
    Ehm.....it means a total of 7/6 of one Henry v. Keiper's soul is given out. But I guess you only own one Henry v. Keiper's soul. It is something fishy about this.

    BTW I wanted that soul.
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  11. #171
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lurken
    Ehm.....it means a total of 7/6 of one Henry v. Keiper's soul is given out. But I guess you only own one Henry v. Keiper's soul. It is something fishy about this.

    BTW I wanted that soul.
    You can get one sixth of HvK's soul for one sixth of yours.
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  12. #172
    Nice update, but knowing Russia you may have tough times ahead.
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  13. #173
    Leading the Mombotian Horde Lurken's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Minors
    You can get one sixth of HvK's soul for one sixth of yours.
    Temping indeed. It would be nice to own a piece of another soul, but to trade away a piece of mine own for it......I don't think so, my soul is much more worth then HvK's soul.
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  14. #174
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    What is this?! As I feared, your madness goes far beyond rants about wood armies.
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  15. #175
    Topaz-Fisted Demi-God Moderator Mr. Capiatlist's Avatar
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    What the hell did I just read?
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  16. #176
    Manos, the Hands of Fate Freebot's Avatar
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    You tell me. You've seem to have been following this for several months. I stumbled in here because I was intrigued by anonymous4401's maniacal rants about wood armies.
    I survived until the seventh day in Werewolf III: Apocalypse Howl, but all I got was this lousy line to put in my signature!

  17. #177
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Capiatlist
    What the hell did I just read?
    You mean the update?

    I really don't know what got into me, I took some screenshots and decided to make them slightly special, write about them and then post an update so that i could own a bit of a soul.

    The reason for doing it as an art exhibition? I really don't know, it just struck me as a good justification of painting squiggily lines all over the images.
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  18. #178
    Leading the Mombotian Horde Lurken's Avatar
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    This is one sick, but enjoyable AAR.
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  19. #179
    I follow the Hawk Fnuco's Avatar
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    i have vicky, but never played...reading your AAR made me want to give it a try...

    Ok, tried... it isnt as funny as you make it seem!

    you know, i arrived here only because the Henry Keiper soul thing made me curious...

    anything else for sale? i can trade stuff...
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    You might very well think that. I couldn't possibly comment.

  20. #180
    Quote Originally Posted by Fnuco
    you know, i arrived here only because the Henry Keiper soul thing made me curious...


    Hey, I'm anonymous' official mascot! My soul should be the logo for all his AAR's
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