A Long Time Ago, in a land far far away...Mad Gumbo WAARs

[Honour_Shogun]

Ok, this is completely a fun AAR.Although dates will be used, they will only be ussd to ensure that the reader does not get completely lost . It is modelled after Star Wars. Right now, Luke is to be played by Yabba the Slim Others will be introduced as the AAR continues. Do not worry, they will all be there, even if creative liberties have to be taken(wait for the introduction of Chewbacca .So sit back grab a beer enjoy

To Start:

Ethiopia is only major
Normal/Aggressive
1000d starting treasury
2 col dyn to start
1 Conq in capital

IGC setts:

Free Ireland
Free Bretagne
Super Hansa
Kalmar Union
T.O Ingermanland
Moldavian Bujak
All Unrest
CoT in Anglia,Astrakhan and Reval
Burgundy
Unified Prussia
Vinland
Byzantium
Normal Tax, 1492 start

Theme from Star Wars plays: The story begins...

Episode IV: A Weird Dream

We find our hero, Yabba the Slim sipping a daquiri in Axum. He watches the mighty army of Ethiopia march in circles, until he grows dizzy. He gets up stretches, and shields his face from the Sun. He is a strange one, this Yabba. He is not like the other Ethiopians. He is light skinned, but tanned fairly well, where others are dark as night. This has always made him a special case. He works, from time to time, on his uncle's farm. He doesn't like work, as he is lazy at heart. But when duty calls(or, in the case of his Aunt, screams loud enough to scare lions away) he responds. So, it is no surprise that he runs(walks) hurriedly(leisurely) home. His Aunt and Uncle sit outside the farm house, sipping on daquirri's. His Aunt looks as though she is ready to call out again. Yabba sprints to her side.

"Where were you, Yabba? Don't you know we cannot do this work ourselves? What do I look like? Your mother? Now get to work!"

Yabba takes a deep breah( panting) " one..one..one..one second.." (panting hard)"O..o...O..k.Whew!I was watching the army march. Don't you want me to be a good warrior?Isn't that what every parent wants?"

Yabba's Unlce, Yeega The Monstrously Bloated,tries to get out of his seat, but is stuck. So, he motions for Yabba to approach. Yabba is cautious. Yeega might decide to eat him, if Yabba isn't careful.

"Yabba, there are three things flawed with that statement: 1)We are not your parents. 2) We would not have you die. Then who would work the farm.and 3) If you don't do the work for us here, I may have an accident, eat too much, hint hint, nudge nudge, wink wink..." Yeega gives a big toothless grin.

Yabba shivers, nods, and sets about the farm. He feeds the animals, working long and hard, until late in the day. This is so not Yabba! He should be sipping daquirris, checking out all the beautiful women in town. Sigh...

That night, Yabba slumps into his bed, and falls into a deep sleep. He ha a very strange dream...


Yabba finds himself in a dark room. There is a faint light above him, so Yabba thinks that he must be in a hole. He hears splashes behind him, and turns to see a Maccaw and a Spider Monkey. The Monkey rides the Maccaw as though the Maccaw were some comical mount. They walk next to Yabba, and the Monkey speaks...

"Hello, young man. I see we are both in the same place, hmm? I wonder, would you be averse to working together to get out of here"

Yabba is dumbfounded. He has never met a talking Monkey before! His draw drops six inches. The Monkey seeing this, clears his throat, and continues..." Well I see you need to we need be introduced. I am called Mwahaha. And this "motioning to his mount,"is Doobya."

"Meep meep!" Doobya seems unable to speak,possibly too simple.

"Muh muh muh my name is Y-Y-Ya-Yabba" Yabba manages to stammer out.
Mwahaha looks Yabba up and down, smiles, and motions to the light above them...
"Well Y-Y-Ya-Yabba, lets try and get to that light. Maybe we can climb up something?"

They begin to search for a way up. The walls are spongy, but Yabba begins to climb up..

(Continued)

[hjarg]

LOL! Sorry, can't think of any other comment

[Honour_Shogun]

So Far, characters include:
Uncle Owen= Yeega the Monstrously Bloated
Luke Skywalker=Yabba the Slim
C-3PO= Mwahaha
R2D2=Doobya


After every new character is introduced, I will give a list of current characters so that people can keep up.

BTW, wait until Chewbacca's character is introduced. Whoo hoo hoo, whee hee hee, ha ha ha, ho ho ho(and no, these are not possible names for Chewbacca )

[Carolus Rex]

Chewbacca rules!!
It can get quite hot with all that hair when you are in Ethiopia!!

[Chengar Qordath]

Indeed, I still can not believe they had the nerve to kill him off in one of the books. I am eagerly awaiting the next installment.

[Honour_Shogun]

[Ok, Just to clarify thing for people, cause i am unsure if people know it, but anyhting in italic has nothing to do with actual game, stuff if regular text does. So the Jan 1 1492 stuff will be in regular text. The story of Yabba, Mwahaha and Doobya will be in Italic. I will try, of course to tie it in, but it will be more like "Yabba travels to province x, there is no one there. Who is doing this?(Of course, it is the Mighty Ethiopian Army, thats who )
Or, Yabba climbs aboard a 4 humped camel, rides slipshod across the desert.Sorry, just wanted to clarify. Now(drumroll please, on with the Dream...]

Episode IV: A Weird Dream


When last we left Yabba, he had been introduced to Mwahaha, a talking monkey, and Doobya, a simple Maccaw. They were trapped somewhere, somewhere dark, where the walls were spongy. Yabba starts to climb, with Doobya and Mwahaha clinging to his back.

"Do you really have to cling so tightly to my back?" Yabba whines.

"What? You are 3 times our size. Obviously you are better equipped to cary us, than we you, hmm?" Mwahaha answers.

Yabba grumbles to himself, but continues to climb. After what seems like an eternity, he finally reaches the top. The light is closer now, closer, closer. The ground is firm, yet spongy. Yabba, Mwahaha and Doobya all start to run towards the light. The light grows ever larger, larger, larger still. Yabba notices on the ceiling what looks like strange white outcroppings. They look almost like...TEETH! Yabba grabs Mwahaha and Doobya, and sprints to the opening. He jumps through just as it begins to close. He and his companions land in a heap in front of Yeega. Yeega has a toothpick, and is picking his teeth. He is startled to see Yabba and the others. He tries to get up, but is too bloated to do so.
Yabba, with Monkey and Maccaw in hand, runs off. Yeega shakes a bloated fist at him. Yabba rushes off, into the desert. Anywhere is better than the stomach of his uncle!


Several hours later, when the three travellers feel they cannot travel any farther, they slump to the ground. Yabba thinks he sees a man in a brown robe, riding a 4 humped camel. Yabba, thinking he must be dreaming, falls to the ground, sighs, and waits to wake up...

[And now for something completely different...]


1492-

Jan 1: Orders go out throughout our realm. Forts shall be increased,and Afars Ogaden,and Issas will have settlers sent there.
Our Conquistador, Noah, will set out with 10000 men, heading to Issas. He will split up the army he has, leabing half in Issas, and the other force will head for Mogadiscio.

Mar 1: Success in Ogaden, but failure in Issas and Afars. A merchant is sent to Alexandria.

July 4: Noah arrives in Mogadiscio. He awaits a settler to be sent. All forces in our great country have been sent to the capital. It is decided, they will attack those Nubians to the north, if possible. As such, 1000 warriors will be called up in each province.

Sept 1: Setterls are sent to Mogadiscio. Hopefully, they can set up there, allow Noah to move on.

Nov 4: Failure in Mogadiscio. Noah decides to eliminate the natives in the province.

Nov 27: Noah has lost a battle in Mogadiscio. He heads for Ogaden in shame.

1493-

April 15-21: Noah, refusing to be beaten, returns to Mogadiscio, and slaughters all the natvies.Onwards to Mudugh, thence to Somalia

May 4: We took a loan. Settlers are sent to Afars and Ogaden.

June 1: We beat back the fools in Mudugh. Onwards to Somalia

July 22: We have cleared out Somalia

Aug 21: 4 merchants are sent to Alexandria. The army in Axum awaits word thye may attack Nubia.


1494-

Jan 1: A new monarch rules over the lands of the Ethiopians. He is called Na'od. His first act is to mobilize the army. Nubia has to many provinces. We in Ethiopia should "help"ourselves to them.

Feb 11: Noah arrives in Malindi. He engages the natives.

Feb 25: A New Nation! Byzatium, which has heard of our exploits, asks for a royal marriage. They send one of their lovely daughers[Here is our Leia ].

March 1: The First War of Expansion...

Our forces, led by a strong young man, Jakob, march into Nubia. 25000 strong are they. They hope to make this a quick victory. If so, we will double the size of our kingdom.

April 22: We arrive in Massawa, and it capitulates without even so much as a shrug. But the Nubian army, it is heading towards us.

May 15: Because of the war, Noah is recalled to Ogaden, to protecet our lands.

June 7: The Great Alliance

Our new friends, these Byzantines, must truly love us. They offer us entrance into a massive alliance, some 6 nations large. Byzantium, Venice, Wallachia,Moldavia, Georgia and Serbia. We would be fools to ignore it. We agree, and only hope this leads to greater things.

June 12-17: We arrive in Bisharin, and meet the might of the Nubian Empire. We engage them in glorious battle, and are beaten back, losing only half our forces. But the Nubians do not fare well. They manage to save only 5000 of their original men.

Aug 4-11: The Nubian fools rush after us, and are caught in our trap. They are wiped out.

Oct 26-Nov 6: Our forces are cutting thorugh the Nubians like a hot fire. We assault their fortress at Bisharin, and take it with ease. The pathetic Nubians offer us Masawa, but we refuse

Dec 14: We assault their capital. Maybe this will force them to capitulate sooner

1495-

Jan 2: Their capital falls,but we are down to 8000 men. 3000 recruits, who had been guarding Axum against any attacks, is sent to help out Jakob.

March 20: They arrive in Batn Al Hajar, and immediately assault it. Thanks in part to the quick thinking of Jakob, it falls farily quickly(March 24). Onward, as one province is left

June 7-15: The last province, Nubia, falls quickly. We sue for total annexation. They agree. On June 15, 1495, Nubia ceases to be. We have doubled our size, but there is worry. We need to quell any riots that may occur in our new lands. But is a loan the best idea?We pray to our God, and hope that things will work out.

1496- Our prayers are answered, but not in the way we wanted...

Jan 2: 2 loans are taken out, bringing our total to 3 now. But, we are able to send out settlers to every nubian province save Masawa. As well, we are able to send 4 merchants to Byzantium[damn, again with the loans. I smell massive infaltion soon ]It is hoped that these new colonists will be able to quell any hard feelings our bloody conquest might have caused.

March 2: Success throughout. We now have more converts to preach to. Excellent news.

June 12: Noah has left again, this time arriving in Kenya

June 25: Kenya is ready for settlers, as soon as we can afford it.

1497-

Feb 10: After several weeks of travel, Noah arrives in Tanga. He is disheartened to see 4000 hostile natives ready to attack him. On Feb 21, there are no more natives.

June 16-29: Noah arrives in Rufiji, and is attacked almost immediately. He slaughters all of the hostile natives.

Dec 13-20: Noah arrives in Lindi, kills everyone he sees. Onwards, ever oneards.

1498-

April 18-24: Noah arrives in Mtawa. Again, slaughter, destruction, mayhme.All in a day's work.

Sept 9-13: Niassa. A barren place, where the natives are evil, nasty creatures. Noah slaughters, slaughters, always slaughters.

1499-

March 12-21: Noah arrives in Nampuia, slaughters again. He is getting weary of all this slaughter.

Aug 4-8: Zambezia, just like the others

1500-

Feb 8-16: Inhambane, again, like the others. Noah is seriously getting bored with all of this "Run Away! Run Away!" coming from the natives. Oh well. It is a dirty jo, but somone has to do it.

April 10: Our diplomats, ever the charmers, manage to convince a country we know nothing about to like us even more[+25 rel with Thurigen ]

June 18: One of the Nubian princes, in an attempt to placate us, gives us a generous gift. Hmm, kill him anyways. Then no need to send a thank you letter []

July 3: Noah reaches Natal, and a settler is sent there. As well, 6 merchants are sent to Byzantium. We need more money!

Nov 18: Settlers arrive in Natal, and a new colony is begun. But, more are needed, if we are to have any chance at all.

Nov 21: Another 2 loans are taken out. We are maxed out on loans[]
But, settlers, who were awaitng monies to be able to set out, head to Transkei and to Natal. They must succeed.

1501: The year of Bankruptcy!

March 4: We went bankrupt![Mwahaha! Mwa ha ha! Mwaaa haaa haaaa] And as such, our inflation jumped from 3% to 26%!

Nov 22: When it rains, it pours. The Marmeluks declare war on us. Not good. Not good at all.
Howeer, all of our allies joined in this holy war aginst the cursed Marmeluks. Luckily, the forces we have stationed in Nubia should be enough

1502-The war with the Marmeluks...

Well, This is wonderful. All of the troops we had split up, so that they could guard our new possessions, they have to be reunited in Nubia, as the army there foolishly attacked the nile, and was beaten back badly []

August 22: All of our forces arrive in Nubia, some 11000 warriors. They march for Nile.

Oct 7: Well, I guess war isn't all that bad. 4 new warships arrive in Issas, so we now have an Ethipoian Navy.

1503- The war continues...


The Nile falls quickly, no forts guard it. Howeever, in the Cataract, there is a tiny fort. The first assault fails, but the second succeeds. There are still over 10000 warriors. Alexandria is next.

April 1: Arrival in Alexandria. Several small parties sent by the Marmelukes are beaten back. An assault is attemptd. 3000 new warriors, called up in Batan al Hadjar and Sudan are to be sent as soon as possible

April 3: Failure, the assault fails miserably. The only hope is that our allies can keep the enemy busy for a little while longer. Hopefully, we can take some provinces and sue for peace.

July 6-Sept 30: We siege the city, and on the 22 Sept, one final assault. It falls,and the Marmelukes must be getting nervous. They offer us Cataract. We refuse. We move now to Egypt.

Oct 13-March 30(1504): We lay siege to Egypt, and although we number only 10000 warriors, we are led by Jakob. He will elad us to victory. On Aril 1, Egypt fall. We discover that Venice has taken a few provinces from the Marmelukes. It is decided that we should sue for peace, ask for Nile and Alexandria.

1504-1507 The final push:

During these years, one Marmeluke province after another falls to our forces. Finally, with the help of the Turks, we force the Marmelukes to accept our offer of Annexation. We are a major power now.

June 23 1507: This is a day all Ethiopians will remember. This is the day the Annexation of the Marmelukes occurs. Great joy in the land, great sadness for all those warriors(Ethiopian of course) who fell. Now, it is time for regrouping. Now, it is time for prayer...


[And now, back to our Story. I wonder how Yabba is doing...]

Yabba awakens, to find himself in a desert tent. The hooded man, he sits beside him, and Mwahaha and Doobya drink some water. What has happened? Where is he? Who is this hooded man?He tries to get up,but cannot. He feels numb from the neck down.

"Do not try to get up. You are still suffering from heat sickness. Please, have some water." The hooded man gives Yabba a water flask. Yabba is unsure. What if this water is poisoned?No, no, why would this stranger save him from the heat, only to poison him? Yabba takes a long drink of water. It rushes down his throat, and he gives an appreciative belch. He smiles at this man, asking him
"Tell me, why do you wear a hood? We are in shade now. I would know the face of the man who saved me..."
The hooded man falters for a second, hesitating but then takes off the hood. Even Doobya gasps"Meeee" when he sees the face of this hooded man. He is hideous, with 2 noses, and one ear. One eye is lower than the other, and the mouth is only half way open. And, worst of all, there is no bump under his nose! Yabba starts, then starts to speak

" Wh-what are you? Are you like me? What happened to your face?"

The hideous man, trying to smile ,looks frightening, like a pez dispenser that cannot fully open all the way. He speaks...

"My name is Ugly Ban Canoogly. I am a hermit. I help travellers who are caught out in the desert. As i helped you and your friends. You would be wsie to accept any help you can get. Especially if you are on the run."

Yabba, startled, looks at this 'Ugly Ban' and sighs. He knows that this thing is right. He motions to Mwahaha and Doobya...
"These are my two companions. We are on the run from a blotaed monstrosity. We thank you for your help, but really, we have to leave. We are thinking of heading to Egypt, to escape." Ugly Ban stares at Yabba, maing Yabba very uncomfortable. There's that smile again.Ugghh! Yabba shudders, and continues" What are you looking at, Ban? Why are you smiling?"
Ban lloks at Yabba, and has a vision. This is the chosen one. This is the one who will lead the people to a new Era. Ban must make sure that this one not leave his site. Ban ponders for a second, and then has an idea...
" What if i were to help you get to Egypt? You cannot possibly take it there by yourself.You nearly died when you tried to get away before. We can use my Camellacam to get you there faster. So? What do you say? I can get us to Masawa, then get us transport to Egypt. Well, will you let me come with you? We can head out right away, travel in the evening, when it is cooler. Will you? Hmm? Hmmm?"

Ban looks intently at Yabba. Yabba knows that he will not survive alone. He is stuck with this Ban. Reluctantly, Yabba nods his head in agreement. Ban claps his hands. Hands? More like flippers!
The four travellers gather together, climbing up on the Camellacam. With a click of his tongue,the beast lurches forward. Faster, faster, faster still. Soon, the land is flying by. After several hours, they reach a small oasis. Thye stop for the night, and in the morning continue. For several days, they repeat this routine. After a week of travel, they reach the outskirts of Masawa. At the entrance, they find several of Yeega's goons. Yabba tries to get away, but Ban motions for him to be calm. As they approach, the goons move their spears to block the travellers.

"Halt! Do you have any papers? This land is under the guard of Yeega the Monstrously Copulent."The goons look carefully at Yabba, Mwahaha, and Doobya. Ban, on the other hand, is ignored. Ban senses Yabba's fear, and speaks to the goons...

" Hello. These aren't the people you are looking for."Ban motions with his hand.

"These aren't the people we are looking for."the head goon tells the others.

"We have already shown you our papers" Again, Ban motions with his hand.

"They have already shown us their papers" The head goon responds.

"We will not cause any problems" Again, Ban and his hand(flipper)

"They will not cause any problems" The goon responds

"Move along, move along" Ban waves his hands above his head

"Move along, move along" The head goon motions for them to move on.

After several minutes, Yabba looks at Ban, and asks him how he just did that.

"Well, in time, I will tell you all. For now, there are some who have power over the weak minded, over the slow, the stupid. I am one of those people." They arrive in front of a rowdy bar, 'The Desert Oasis'
Ban dismounts his beast, and helps the others as well. Doobya hops to the ground, and Mwahaha jumps on his back. They hop over to the entrance of the bar. Yabba turns to Ban, and smiles.

"Thank you for your help. What now?"

"Go into the bar. Wait for me there. I will go and see if I can find transport to Egypt." Ban heads off, towards the centre of town. Yabba, Mwahaha and Doobya head into the bar...


They are greeted by the most despicable, evil, unsavoury characters ever assembled in one place. 'The Desert Oasis' should be called 'The Den of thieves' as most characters in it were criminals of one type or another. Yabba, Mwahaha, and Doobya move to the bar. The barkeep motions to Mwahaha and Doobya.

"We don't allow their kind in here"

"Who? My friends?" Yabba asks.

"Yeah, no animals in here. They have to wait outside" The bar keep moves to throw Mwahaha and Doobya out. But Yabba stops him.

"Wait outside, it is better, hmm?" Yabba gives a troubled smile to Mwahaha and Doobya.

"Oh sir, I quite agree. We shall wait outside for you and Master Ban."
Mwahaha gives Doobya a slight kick, and they leave.

Yabba moves to the bar, and motions for a daquirri. A huge man sits next to him. Yabba gives a freindly smile, and for some reason, this huge man takes it the wrong way.

"Waddya think you are doing? Huh?" The huge man bellows

"Nothing, nothing. Sorry" Yabba quickly apologizes.

"You'd best be careful, me and my friend here"he motions to a midget sitting nect to him, " are wanted in several provinces. We face death in over 14 countries!" The huge man bellows

"Sorry, I won't bother you anymore" Yabba moves to leave, but the huge man grabs him

"You'll be dead!" The huge man laughs, evilly, sinister.

Ban enters the bar, sees Yabba's trouble, and moves in between the two.

"Hello. What seems to be the probelm?" Ban tries to give his best smile.

"Nothing old man! Watch yourself, or you'll be sorry!" The Huge man and the small midget laugh out loud.

"Please, let me buy you a drink" Ban pleads.

What happens next, literally happens in the blink of an eye. The Huge man and the midget pulls out long daggers, and Ban, with a speed surprising for a man like Ban, pulls out a pole. With a 'snap-hiss' the pole lighs up. It is a hollow tube, with what look like fireflies or something similar inside. He strikes at the Huge man, slicing his arm clear off, and beheads the midget. The patrons pause for a second, and then go about their business. Ban pushes a button, and the pole dims.

"Whta the hell was that?!" Yabba asks, some blood from the Huge man on his face.

"It is something i created. A light pole, i call it. The bugs inside are a special breed of firefly. Thye generate tremendous heat, and can survive tremendous stress.The pole heats up super quick, and acts like hot steel. So, a clean cut." Ban smiles, and puts the light pole in his cloak.


Yabba is now more intrigued than ever by this Ugly Ban Canoogly. They sit at the bar, and sip daquirri's. Now, all they need is transport to Egypt....


[What, you thought i would introduce Han and Chewwy already Tune in for the next installment.

And here is a map of Ethiopia's land. Kind of confusing, as it is same colour as Algiers. It inlcudes Nubia, Ethiopia and most of Marmelukes.

[Honour_Shogun]

Ok, so we now have the character for Obi Wan Kanobi(damn, i cannot believe i cannot spell this right, or is it? oh well

Luke Skywalker= Yabba the Slim
Unlce Owen=Yeega the Monstrously Bloated, Yeega the Monstrously Copulent
C-3PO=Mwahaha, a monkey of no small talent
R2D2= Doobya, a simpl Maccaw, Mwahaha's mount
Obi Wan Kanobi=Ugly Ban Canoogly, a freak, with his "light pole"

To come in the next installment,
Han= ?
Chewbacca=?
Who know who else

[Carolus Rex]

Light pole??

Talk about research....

Hey, I somehow feel a sense of inspiration from Star Wars.

[Honour_Shogun]

Well, the "light pole" is simply a freaky l'il thing, something Ban made while he was alone in the desert. What else can a hermit do? All alone in the desert? With no one but his freakish camel to keep him company(ok, let's not go there )

And yes, I am taking liberally from Star Wars(please, George Lucas, do not read these boards, cry out"That Bastard! He's using Star Wars references without my permission. Send out the StormTroopers...Er, i mean police " and force me to actually do an AAR as opposed to this mess of words and smiles

Seriously though, are people enjoying this? Or just stick with the AAR, drop the whole "Star Wars" theme?
Comments? Critiques? Rants by half drunken misers...Oh wait, that's me. Ignore that last one

All comments are welcome, as are any suggestions. Specifically, where should i expand next? I have a CoT of my own so i will get more money, and i really need to hit level 2 trade so i can lay a wall of traders down eastern coast of Africa.
Ok, I will start another segment soon.
Cheers!

[Carolus Rex]

I like the beginnings of your posts, with Episode X and stuff.
I would not have read them otherwise.

[Carolus Rex]

I say colonize some, build up you bushman army and go after the Ottomans.

[Honour_Shogun]

Actually, i have my fingers crossed i get a RI with Byzantium. Some how(get this)when i first met them we had +175 relations(with the marrigae ) and now, well, now we are at 195, and i love em dearly. Their princess will make an excellent Leia

And, if i get Byzantium, i am right next to those silly silly Ottomans.
And my god, but such a huge allaince. Never been in such a large one before. And we kick ass! Man, Venice alone can whup anyone who attacks us
But Ottomans, eh? I think, give me till 1550, then, my army of maddened Bushmen will run over all of Turkey No more turks

Thanks for the suggestions. Any others?

[Carolus Rex]

Originally posted by Chengar Qordath
Indeed, I still can not believe they had the nerve to kill him off in one of the books. I am eagerly awaiting the next installment.

Is he dead??!!

[Honour_Shogun]

You didn't know? It is in one of the newer books, when the Alliance meets up with the Yuuzhan Vong, a warrior race from another galaxy. He dies saving Han's son, Anakin. I think it is actually the first book of the new series. I think it is in "Dark Tide I: Onslaught", or in Dark Tide II:Ruin"

But no worry, the Chewwy character in my l'ill AAR/ravings will not die.

BTW, actually very sad when Chewwy died. I will just say, if you are gonna die, then the way he died was best, very heroic.

[Carolus Rex]

Has Han Solo named his son Anakin??
The bastard!!!

[hjarg]

LOL! Good one... and man, easy with the loans...

[Warspite]

Holy cow your ethiopia puts mine to shame, i got whooped with ethiopia couple months ago but your doing well, nice job and great idea for an aar, very cute

[Honour_Shogun]

Episode IV: A Weird Dream

When last we left our intrepid travellers, they had just been involved in a bloody fight in a seedy bar in Masawa. Their actions do not go unnoticed. A young Caravan Leader and his very very hairy sidekick notice the old man and the slender, light skinned boy. With a slight wave of his hands, the Caravan leader motions to the barkeep, pointing to the old man and the boy. The bar keep nods agreement, and whispers something to the old man. He turns around, and the Caravan Leader waves him over. Ban looks to Yabba, and after a second, moves to sit at the table with these two strangers. Yabba follows, hesitantly. Ban sits down, smiles, and motions for Yabba to do likewise. The Caravan Leader gives a toothy grin, and spreads his hands in a "why me?" shrug.

"So, I understand you are looking for passage to Egypt? That's pretty dangerous, especially with all the rebellions there.I can get you there, but it'll cost you" The caravn leader moves closer, leaning over the table, so that he is close to Ban's face. Ban does not flinch, and the caravan leader smiles, and sits back. His sidekick gives a chuckle, but says nothing.

" How much?" Ban asks, matter of factly.

"100." The caravan leader doesn't even blink. Yabba, on the other hand, jumps to his feet. The sidekick also jumps to his feet. He is huge, over 9 feet tall. He is covered in hair. He looks human, byt it is impossible to tell. Yabba eyes this giant, and sits back down. He turns to Ban, and pleads with him to leave

"100?! We could buy an army, make it to Egypt by ouselves. We don't need him, or his pet." The sidekick bellows in rage, but a quick look from the caravn leader silences him. The caravan leader smiles, and focuses on Ban

" Listen, you want to get there fast? Not attract a lot of attention? Then I'm your guy. I've made the Masawa-Egypt run in under a week. No one can beat that. So, whadya say, old man?"

"I'll give you 150. But no questions asked, and we leave right away." Ban smiles inwardly. This caravn leader is greedy, perhaps too greedy.

"150? Sure. Pay up before we leave." The caravn leader is happy, he will make a tidy profit on this.

"75 now, and 75 when we reach Egypt. It will be myself, my friend here,"he motions to Yabba, " and 2 animals. We should leave as soon as possble." Ban and the caravn leader shake hands, and Ban hands over 75 to the caravan leader. He puts them in a pouch, and smiles at Ban.

"By the way, my name is Ean Sula, and this is my friend, Jambalaya. But I call him Jamba for short. Don't mind him, he just never ever had his hair cut. Any of his hair. Ever." Ean comes closer to Ban,and whispers to him, " Don't say anything about how hairy he is. He is sensitive about it. And no cracks about his height. He is liable to rip your head off. I'll meet you in Stable 8 later on tonight. We can leave as early as tomorrow."

Ean and Jamba get up, and saunter out. Yabba makes sure they have left before he turns to Ban

" What do you mean, offering 150? I don't have tha much. Do you?"

Ban smiles, and nods to Yabba: " yes, i do, and I can sell my mount for the rest. Listen, we should grab Mwahaha and Doobya, find someplace to sleep for the night. We have a big journey tomorrow.


Later that night, Yabba, Mwahaha,Doobya and Ban are in their room, talking about the journey to come. Mwahaha and Doobya are not sure how trustworthy Ean and Jamba are, but they don't want to go back.
Tomorrow, a new journey begins...


1507-1510 A time of peace.

During these years, absoutley nothing happens.

Feb 13 1510: Royal Marriages with Serbia, Milan, Spain,Palintat and Russia. It is good to see that the daughters of our King are so well liked

Oct 10 1510: Rebbellion in the Delta. We have lost control over it to damnable rebel scum.

Dec 1: Wondrous news. Traders may now be placed.[]

1511-

We win a battle against the rebels in the Delta, but now must take back our fort!

Jan 27: Traders are sent from Somalia to Kenya

March 27: Failure in Mudugh, Mogasdiscio and Kenya. Success in the others.

Oct 1: Peace with Persia, but rebellion in Cyrenaica

Nov 17: Finally, the Delta is ours. No more rebels

1512-

Jan 1: We send more traders, to Mudugh, Mogadiscio, and Kenya

Sept 5: We finally retake Cyrenaica.
We receive word that our Navy is to be strengthened. Our scientists get a boost[naval tech + 397d]

1513-

Jan 1: We send out traders to Mobasa, Mogadiscio, Inhambane and Zambezia.

March 1:Failure in Zambezia, success in the rest.

Sept 1 : We can now build tranpsorts. Excellent. Aden looks very tempting.

1514-1517: More trader sent out, more of the same

We focus on any province that does not have a trader already. We begin, after many many failed attempts, to fill the coast in very nicley

April 5 1517: We are told our warriors can now use metal balls, as opposed to the stone ones we used before. Yay

May 1 1517: We can now build refineries[like i can afford them]

July 10: A wave of religious fervour spreads throughout all of Europe. It has no effect on our Empire[Reformation]

July 12: One of our advisors decides to see if some of our Orthodx brethren will like to join us[in vassal], and we have Success! Serbia has agreed to become our vassals! A great cry of joy arises in the Empire.

1518-

Jan: One more trader, if he succeeds, and we can claim the entire coast of Africa as our own.If they succeed.
Out of some deranged reason, a vassalization offer is given to Byzantium. Failure is assumed before it begins.

Feb 2: All of our forces amass near the Hafsid Empire. Maybe we can take them out before they know what is coming

March 1: Failure. Oh well, next year.

1519-25 The years of the Hafsid War

Jan- March 1519: We call up as many troops as we can to Cyrenaica. Hopefully, this war will be quick.

March 8 1519: War with the Hafsid. We send our initial force of 16000 warriors into Tripoli. The damned Hafsids! They call upon their allies, The Algerians. But, we call upon our friends. Venice, Byzantium, Moldovia, Georgia and Serbia. Who shall win? Who else but us.

March 14 1519: Byzantium declares war on Naples. We honour the Alliance, but Serbia and Moldovia do not. At least Serbia are still our vassals.

July 2-19 1519: Our initial force is beaten back by the Hafsid empire. And our second force is annhilated. However, the Hafsid try and reach to far. They are slaughtered in Cyrenaica

Aug 4 1519: We give Naples 4d for peace.

For the rest of the year, we send every army we have into Tripoli, and we manage to gain a foothold. The Algerians are kept busy by the Venetians, which is good.

Aug 28 1520: After the loss of close to 30000 warriors, we finally take the capital of the Hafsids. We send our army to Kabylia. We want revenge against the damned Algerians. Luckily, most of the Algerians are engaging the Venetians, in Venice. Good, ket that be their downfall.

1521 sees us send close to 25000 men into Algiers. We gain Kaylia, Aurres and Al-DDjazair. We then learn that the Algerians have taken Cyrenaica. So troops are shuttled back there.

1522 sees us lose Aurres but gain Orania. We are now building as many warriors as we can. And losing as many. It is estimated we have lost over 70000 warriors, and have killed 65000. But we fight on.

1523, a year that could have cost us everything. An Algerian fleet lands 5000 cavalry in the Delta, and a 45000 strong army of rebels appears in Alexandria. We have to pull all of our forces, save for a paltry 5000 which are left in Orania.

1524, the year we win it all. In a battle reminiscent of the great battles of Alexander the Great, a combined Byzantium, Venetian and Ethiopian force beats the main army of the Algerians in Tripoli. We manage to catch the rebels off guard, as a force of 10000 warriors beats a force of 24574 rebels in Alexandria.
With the defeat of the main Algerian force, all of our troops are direcetd to assault Auures and Atlas, and both fall by Dec 21

Dec 21 1524: A day that will live in History. The Algerians are beaten. The Hafsid are beaten. Both are annexed. Both are ours now. We rule most of North Africa.

In our southern colonies, we see rather worrisome things. Srange Norsemen. Look





[I will post a screenshot of lands of the Ethiopians soon.]

[Honour_Shogun]

Well, i promised a screen shot, so here goes





Love that green.


As for the war with Algeirs/Hafsids, i have to thank the Venetians with all my heart They sent a huge force to Algiers, kept them disturbed, and beat that major Algiers army. Now thank god for that while i fought Hafsids. Of course, then Venice fought against Naples, left me alone So i just used every ducat i had to build, build build troops. I figure, rough estimate, total losses on both sides was around 200k. With about 60k total dead for me. Damn Thank god that Ethiopians have realatively cheap inf(only 3 ducats? cheaper than Poland ) Seriously, i think i was lucky, because in the end, Algiers was sending raw recruits(ok, so was i, but they were gainign morale as they did their long travel). And thank god i was able to build 10k army in Egypt. That saved me big time.

Next...




Character updates...



Well we finally get to meet Han's character and Chewwy's character. Whaddya think? Like how Jamba is just a really really hairy guy?
So, the cast now stands like this: (using initials, k)

Yabba the Slim= L.S
Ugly Ban Canoogly=O-W. K
Mwahaha=C-3PO
Doobya=R2D2
Yeega the Monstrously Bloated/Copulent=U.O
Ean Sula= H.S
Jambalaya(Jmaba)=Chewbacca

And more to come. So? Where to go next? I am thinking of expanding the colonies down south. They are all level 1-2, but sinking. Have Morocco next door, and, I have the Algeirian fleet(15 warships, 1 transport) so i may be able to go north, to Europe. What do people think? Which way should i go?

[Carolus Rex]

Annex a lot!!