I'll reveal our authors tomorrow, so there is still some time to give critique if anyone else has something to add before they know who wrote what.
-
We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.
Indeed it has been, but perhaps people are just realizing we are back at this, or do not quite appreciate the wlak. 
And apparently I lied...sorry about that...I meant to reveal the authors yesterday and then got caught up in something else. So there are still a few hours left if someone wishes to offer critique, maybe during their lunch hour or some such. I'll reveal the authors in about six hours, when I get home from work. And thanks to all those that have done a critique already. I know our authors thank you as well.
And apparently I lied...sorry about that...I meant to reveal the authors yesterday and then got caught up in something else. So there are still a few hours left if someone wishes to offer critique, maybe during their lunch hour or some such. I'll reveal the authors in about six hours, when I get home from work. And thanks to all those that have done a critique already. I know our authors thank you as well.
Well, it's time to reveal our four authors. And they were (note that I am listing current work for each author):
1. CatKnight
Beyond Tannenberg II: The Knight's Tale (EUII AAR)
2. J. Passepartout
3. fj44
Franz Giesen's Life--A Germany AAR (Victoria AAR)
4. coz1
The Eagle In Winter (CK AAR)
I'd very much like to thank J. Passepartout, Nil-The-Frogg, fj44, Storey and Quintilian for offering some words to these authors! You are the people that keep this project alive.
I'd also like to say that I hope we see more offer critiques next time. This is not an easy process for writers as they must face honest feedback and it's not an easy draw unless they think they can get that very thing. This only works if we get a goodly amount of people responding, otherwise we will not draw more to it. If that's the case, it will falter again.
We will start a new round at the beginning of November, and I hope we see more action in this thread. If not, it will once again grow silent. I had assumed there was a desire for it given the recent activity. Let's try and keep that momentum going if we wish to see the project move forward.
Let's now open the floor to our authors and allow them to respond to their feedback and I would like to take the opportunity to thank each and every one of you for placing your work here. Congratulations to each of you for some excellent work done and I personally had great fun reading all of them. I will be placing each of these in the wlak thread for future readers.
1. CatKnight
- Recommended Reading:
Beyond Tannenberg II: The Knight's Tale (EUII AAR)
* * *
2. J. Passepartout
- Recommended Reading:
* * *
3. fj44
- Recommended Reading:
Franz Giesen's Life--A Germany AAR (Victoria AAR)
* * *
4. coz1
- Recommended Reading:
The Eagle In Winter (CK AAR)
* * *
I'd very much like to thank J. Passepartout, Nil-The-Frogg, fj44, Storey and Quintilian for offering some words to these authors! You are the people that keep this project alive.
I'd also like to say that I hope we see more offer critiques next time. This is not an easy process for writers as they must face honest feedback and it's not an easy draw unless they think they can get that very thing. This only works if we get a goodly amount of people responding, otherwise we will not draw more to it. If that's the case, it will falter again.
We will start a new round at the beginning of November, and I hope we see more action in this thread. If not, it will once again grow silent. I had assumed there was a desire for it given the recent activity. Let's try and keep that momentum going if we wish to see the project move forward.
Let's now open the floor to our authors and allow them to respond to their feedback and I would like to take the opportunity to thank each and every one of you for placing your work here. Congratulations to each of you for some excellent work done and I personally had great fun reading all of them.
I will be placing each of these in the wlak thread for future readers.
Last edited:
I guessed that Catknight wrote one of them, just didn't peg him to the obvious one.
I was intentionally going with the Adam Smith idea and had considered also having David Hume, but decided that a normal foil would be easier.
I was intentionally going with the Adam Smith idea and had considered also having David Hume, but decided that a normal foil would be easier.
I was waiting for someone to peg the first one on me, in which case I was going to launch into a furious tirade against 'whoever' stole my cows and demanded they reveal themselves
I'll add more about the others later - I didn't want to comment before then because, as I said, I was waiting to see if someone would link me with the cow/wlak revolt....and the burning tree of course.
To answer the comments: Yes, this was pretty hastily thrown together so I'm not surprised I missed some chances to clarify. Basically, three cows have 'acquired' the wlak's help in freeing their companions. Unfortunately, Angus' idea of a sneak attack involves heavy weaponry.
I wonder if, in the aftermath of this outrage, Pres. Bush declares a 'War on Beef.'
I wasn't really thinking of 'Worms' when I wrote this, though I agree the similarities are...alarming! I was thinking of a card and miniatures game called 'Battle Cattle.' Long story short, the country's fallen apart and to make ends meet farmers start cow duelling leagues - with weapons and armor. How they get the cows to go along with this is never quite explained.
As for Mooski's previous experience fighting sheep in Chechnya, I honestly didn't give it much thought. I suppose logically the cows would have to be pretty well organized, or they wouldn't be able to call in a Russian cow and hire a wlak. Maybe Vermont's their secret base and that's why there's a cow on their flag.
Heh. CatKnight, that reminds me of this old bit from Bloom County:
Good stuff.
Thank you for all the kind words said about my piece. We needed a fourth and so I got to writing and the length was due to the same thing many of you mentioned - I started to really enjoy writing for each of these characters, especially Adams and Franklin. I did a little extra research to make sure my memory was correct, but I wanted to make sure and throw some classic wlak knowledge into it. It was a blast to write.
And like I said, I really enjoyed the other submissions. Of course I knew who wrote what but it made it even more enjoyable as I watched CatKnight go all out with Perperna love, JP have a lot of fun on the economic aspects of wlaks and fj44 get into the legend of the majestic beast. Great stuff all around.
I've posted each in the wlak thread for future generations to read. These definitely belong as part of the lore.
CatKnight, that reminds me of this old bit from Bloom County:
Thank you for all the kind words said about my piece. We needed a fourth and so I got to writing and the length was due to the same thing many of you mentioned - I started to really enjoy writing for each of these characters, especially Adams and Franklin. I did a little extra research to make sure my memory was correct, but I wanted to make sure and throw some classic wlak knowledge into it. It was a blast to write.
And like I said, I really enjoyed the other submissions. Of course I knew who wrote what but it made it even more enjoyable as I watched CatKnight go all out with Perperna love, JP have a lot of fun on the economic aspects of wlaks and fj44 get into the legend of the majestic beast. Great stuff all around.
I've posted each in the wlak thread for future generations to read. These definitely belong as part of the lore.
Do you think there will be another round in November or would the relative quietness on the forum these last days be too discouraging ? Even in that case, I guess the authors will be sollicited again in December .
.
Hmmm...so there is a rumbling of wanting to see this move forward. Very well then. Here's the topic...
A Peace Conference - any time period applies, to be sure.
The usual rules are in effect, of course. The first four people that contact me via PM are in. Your submissions will be due no later than November 11th. I will then post them anonymously and await feedback. And I certainly hope we have a better showing this month. I really and truly hate asking for people to devote their time to writing for this project only to see very little interest in reading and critiquing. Our writers deserve much more than that so if we want to see this move forward, I strongly suggest we show them that support.
A Peace Conference - any time period applies, to be sure.
The usual rules are in effect, of course. The first four people that contact me via PM are in. Your submissions will be due no later than November 11th. I will then post them anonymously and await feedback. And I certainly hope we have a better showing this month. I really and truly hate asking for people to devote their time to writing for this project only to see very little interest in reading and critiquing. Our writers deserve much more than that so if we want to see this move forward, I strongly suggest we show them that support.
Wow, you guys have had some pretty anarchic rounds while I wasn't looking! I updated the first post, and well I guess coz I will have to stick around to psychoanalyze the next crop. Long as it doesn't scuff my duff...
Thanks for keeping that first post updated Hajji. It is truly a great help in determining the topics, if anything else.
And we have three of the four already in line. Anybody keen on adding themself as the fourth?
And we have three of the four already in line. Anybody keen on adding themself as the fourth?
I would but I am not sure I will be able to this time around, and give the subject justice.
Today's the day! Have we our entries? I have this inexplicable itching desire to critique somebody.
Also, I am using the basic Guess-the-Author guidelines to serve as the flagship project for this semester at my school's new Creative Writing Club (which my gf started...).
Also, I am using the basic Guess-the-Author guidelines to serve as the flagship project for this semester at my school's new Creative Writing Club (which my gf started...).
Well, submissions were due today, so coz1 will likely post them in a couple days.Hajji Giray I said:
Sorry I am late in posting, folks. I've been hit with a nasty bug so I'm here just long enough to post the submissions and then it's back to rest.
As always, please try and give each a good read and solid feedback. No nastyness will be accepted, but constructive criticism is encouraged. Feel free to try and guess the author but remember that is a secondary goal of the project, saving the critique for your first priority.
I'll post all four in anonymous fashion and then the floor will be open for feedback. I'l leave it open until after the Thanksgiving weekend here in the states and then reveal our authors. A big thank you to all four of them.
The topic once more was - A peace conference
As always, please try and give each a good read and solid feedback. No nastyness will be accepted, but constructive criticism is encouraged. Feel free to try and guess the author but remember that is a secondary goal of the project, saving the critique for your first priority.
I'll post all four in anonymous fashion and then the floor will be open for feedback. I'l leave it open until after the Thanksgiving weekend here in the states and then reveal our authors. A big thank you to all four of them.
The topic once more was - A peace conference
Author #1
"The plaintiff rests."
"Counsel for the defense?" The judge looked over at the aging, careworn dictator behind the defense table, and next to him a slick young lawyer, one of the most shameless in the Reich. The judge had watched this specimen throughout the trial, and guesstimated that the man charged 150 marks an hour. He was continuing to refine this number, however, with each irritated observation.
"The defense calls to the stand Mr. Adolf Hitler," the lawyer declared operatically, motioning for his client to move to the witness box. He lightly, delicately touched the oily mass of fibers atop his head which allegedly constituted his natural hair. The swearing in took place with a businesslike precision Hitler surely would have approved of in other, less demanding circumstances.
"Please state your name and occupation," counsel opened tonelessly, betraying no emotion towards his client.
"Adolf Hitler, Chancellor and sole ruler of the Third Reich."
"Objection." The plaintiff's lawyer shot up. "Sole rulership is disputed as per my client's evidence."
"Mr. Hitler, you will detail the reasoning behind your answer," the judge said, staring vacantly at the ceiling, imagining a previous life.
"Your Honor, I was in charge of all real operations of the country. Miss - Mrs. Hitler - was merely a figurehead."
"What," Hitler's lawyer eased in, "was Mrs. Hitler role in management of the Reich, if any at all?"
"None at all. She made appearances, cut ribbons, did photo shoots with reeducated Russians."
"Mr. Hitler, what was your intention in marrying the plaintiff?"
"I assumed we would be dead within hours. I assumed it was merely a symbolic gesture. However, now that - well - after we made our miraculous return to victory, precisely what I had always expected to happen, she began to - thirst for power, sir."
"What do you mean?"
"She insisted on sharing power over everything. Never mind that the war was not yet over, that I needed to oversee the final defeat of the enemies."
"And did you complete that victory?"
"But of course."
"And what happened then?"
"She began to show her - domineering aspects, controlling my private life, attempting to favor some advisors over others, betraying my will. She even - was - "
"Yes?"
"Well - in bed - "
"Your Honor."
"Mr. Hitler, there is no need to go into that matter.” The poor judge shuddered at the idea. “Proceed, counsel."
"Why do you believe she - filed for the divorce?"
Eva's man jumped up as if he had just discovered a rattlesnake attached to his bottom end. "Objection: speculation, inadmissible."
"Sustained." The tired old justice yawned. The solidarity of the Reich was at stake! - and here it was, in the hands of a man who didn't care.
"How did it strike you? I mean, what were your feelings about it - the divorce?"
"I don't mind so much; she's not the woman I married. But demanding half the Reich! That is - treasonous. I cannot allow that to stand."
The judge tuned out about here, Isolde's Liebestod streaming melodiously into his head as he watched the little stars dancing before his eyes. Somewhat to his amazement, the lied was uninterrupted by objections, the opera streaming through his head clearly and with immediacy, and when he suddenly jerked himself out of his Wagnerian idyll the cross-examination was underway.
"Was not Mrs. Hitler your lawfully wedded wife and heir?"
"Yes, she was."
"And was she not half of your existence, legally and emotionally speaking?"
"I am my existence. Eva is a servant of my existence."
"Not before the law."
"Objection - not a question." The judge began to wonder if Hitler's schmoozy young lawyer received a commission for each of these little interventions.
"Withdrawn. Would you say that, upon the divorce, your wife would be legally entitled to half your possessions?"
"No. Only what she brought into the relationship."
"Did it say so in your pre-nuptual agreement?"
"There was no such pre-nup."
Eva Hitler’s lawyer turned from the witness. "May it please the Court that - "
"It does, counsel." The judge was hoping he could tune out again soon.
"Mr. Hitler, your failure to agree beforehand to a division of - shall I say, did you agree beforehand how to split your possessions, articles, and so on? Before the divorce?"
"No."
"Then how can she not be entitled to half of everything?"
"She may be entitled to some things, but not to half of the Reich itself."
"Mr. Hitler, the Reich is your personal domain, is it not?"
"I treat it as such."
"Good. Now do you share it with your wife, your personal domain?"
"No."
"Your wife seems to believe you did."
"Her misinterpretations are her own business."
"Mr. Hitler, my client has presented a detailed plan for the division of the Reich, and I would like to ask your personal reaction to it. You are to retain the German Homeland, Austria, and the East..."
Ah, bliss, off again into another reality. The judge found it hard to repress the Wagnerian interludes; he had conducted the man long ago before some SS suit had decided his talents resided elsewhere. Oh, to conduct Lohengrin again ... suddenly in his dreamland he saw Adolf and Eva, on a stage set for Die Meistersinger, and they were singing law, singing divorce, compromising! He would allow her France, for she dearly loved Paris, if she would just agree to leave him alone after that. And suddenly she was agreeing, hugging him one last time, asking in his ear if she could maybe have Denmark too, and he whispered why not and grabbed her bottom and they marched out together, having finally settled on a way to divide the empire, and the judge read in the paper two days later that he had managed to dump Speer and Goebbels into Vichy before the split. Divorce was banned ... he could go back to Parsifal ...
Hört ihr den Ruf? Nun danket Gott,
dass ihr berufen, ihn zu hören!
And all of a sudden he was hearing that call ... it was there ... what did it say? ... order ... order ... order ... yes order would be nice.
"YOUR HONOR!" And he saw in one second who was shouting for order, and he saw Adolf and Eva grappling at each other's throats, crashing on top of a table, yelling and screaming insults at each other, and nobody needed to tell him that however he ruled in this case he would need without a shadow of a doubt to choose wisely his future home; somebody was going to be interested in his head.
The police had broken up the fight, had moved the unhappy couple to opposite sides of the room. The judge eyed his beloved Fuhrer and Wagner came roaring back into his heads, the final thrilling moments of Götterdämmerung. He watched his divine ruler steam at the restraints of the officers. O, How the Gods Have Fallen...
"The plaintiff rests."
"Counsel for the defense?" The judge looked over at the aging, careworn dictator behind the defense table, and next to him a slick young lawyer, one of the most shameless in the Reich. The judge had watched this specimen throughout the trial, and guesstimated that the man charged 150 marks an hour. He was continuing to refine this number, however, with each irritated observation.
"The defense calls to the stand Mr. Adolf Hitler," the lawyer declared operatically, motioning for his client to move to the witness box. He lightly, delicately touched the oily mass of fibers atop his head which allegedly constituted his natural hair. The swearing in took place with a businesslike precision Hitler surely would have approved of in other, less demanding circumstances.
"Please state your name and occupation," counsel opened tonelessly, betraying no emotion towards his client.
"Adolf Hitler, Chancellor and sole ruler of the Third Reich."
"Objection." The plaintiff's lawyer shot up. "Sole rulership is disputed as per my client's evidence."
"Mr. Hitler, you will detail the reasoning behind your answer," the judge said, staring vacantly at the ceiling, imagining a previous life.
"Your Honor, I was in charge of all real operations of the country. Miss - Mrs. Hitler - was merely a figurehead."
"What," Hitler's lawyer eased in, "was Mrs. Hitler role in management of the Reich, if any at all?"
"None at all. She made appearances, cut ribbons, did photo shoots with reeducated Russians."
"Mr. Hitler, what was your intention in marrying the plaintiff?"
"I assumed we would be dead within hours. I assumed it was merely a symbolic gesture. However, now that - well - after we made our miraculous return to victory, precisely what I had always expected to happen, she began to - thirst for power, sir."
"What do you mean?"
"She insisted on sharing power over everything. Never mind that the war was not yet over, that I needed to oversee the final defeat of the enemies."
"And did you complete that victory?"
"But of course."
"And what happened then?"
"She began to show her - domineering aspects, controlling my private life, attempting to favor some advisors over others, betraying my will. She even - was - "
"Yes?"
"Well - in bed - "
"Your Honor."
"Mr. Hitler, there is no need to go into that matter.” The poor judge shuddered at the idea. “Proceed, counsel."
"Why do you believe she - filed for the divorce?"
Eva's man jumped up as if he had just discovered a rattlesnake attached to his bottom end. "Objection: speculation, inadmissible."
"Sustained." The tired old justice yawned. The solidarity of the Reich was at stake! - and here it was, in the hands of a man who didn't care.
"How did it strike you? I mean, what were your feelings about it - the divorce?"
"I don't mind so much; she's not the woman I married. But demanding half the Reich! That is - treasonous. I cannot allow that to stand."
The judge tuned out about here, Isolde's Liebestod streaming melodiously into his head as he watched the little stars dancing before his eyes. Somewhat to his amazement, the lied was uninterrupted by objections, the opera streaming through his head clearly and with immediacy, and when he suddenly jerked himself out of his Wagnerian idyll the cross-examination was underway.
"Was not Mrs. Hitler your lawfully wedded wife and heir?"
"Yes, she was."
"And was she not half of your existence, legally and emotionally speaking?"
"I am my existence. Eva is a servant of my existence."
"Not before the law."
"Objection - not a question." The judge began to wonder if Hitler's schmoozy young lawyer received a commission for each of these little interventions.
"Withdrawn. Would you say that, upon the divorce, your wife would be legally entitled to half your possessions?"
"No. Only what she brought into the relationship."
"Did it say so in your pre-nuptual agreement?"
"There was no such pre-nup."
Eva Hitler’s lawyer turned from the witness. "May it please the Court that - "
"It does, counsel." The judge was hoping he could tune out again soon.
"Mr. Hitler, your failure to agree beforehand to a division of - shall I say, did you agree beforehand how to split your possessions, articles, and so on? Before the divorce?"
"No."
"Then how can she not be entitled to half of everything?"
"She may be entitled to some things, but not to half of the Reich itself."
"Mr. Hitler, the Reich is your personal domain, is it not?"
"I treat it as such."
"Good. Now do you share it with your wife, your personal domain?"
"No."
"Your wife seems to believe you did."
"Her misinterpretations are her own business."
"Mr. Hitler, my client has presented a detailed plan for the division of the Reich, and I would like to ask your personal reaction to it. You are to retain the German Homeland, Austria, and the East..."
Ah, bliss, off again into another reality. The judge found it hard to repress the Wagnerian interludes; he had conducted the man long ago before some SS suit had decided his talents resided elsewhere. Oh, to conduct Lohengrin again ... suddenly in his dreamland he saw Adolf and Eva, on a stage set for Die Meistersinger, and they were singing law, singing divorce, compromising! He would allow her France, for she dearly loved Paris, if she would just agree to leave him alone after that. And suddenly she was agreeing, hugging him one last time, asking in his ear if she could maybe have Denmark too, and he whispered why not and grabbed her bottom and they marched out together, having finally settled on a way to divide the empire, and the judge read in the paper two days later that he had managed to dump Speer and Goebbels into Vichy before the split. Divorce was banned ... he could go back to Parsifal ...
Hört ihr den Ruf? Nun danket Gott,
dass ihr berufen, ihn zu hören!
And all of a sudden he was hearing that call ... it was there ... what did it say? ... order ... order ... order ... yes order would be nice.
"YOUR HONOR!" And he saw in one second who was shouting for order, and he saw Adolf and Eva grappling at each other's throats, crashing on top of a table, yelling and screaming insults at each other, and nobody needed to tell him that however he ruled in this case he would need without a shadow of a doubt to choose wisely his future home; somebody was going to be interested in his head.
The police had broken up the fight, had moved the unhappy couple to opposite sides of the room. The judge eyed his beloved Fuhrer and Wagner came roaring back into his heads, the final thrilling moments of Götterdämmerung. He watched his divine ruler steam at the restraints of the officers. O, How the Gods Have Fallen...
Author #2
Whispers, clanks, cloth rustles were echoing in the large hall. Hordes of lackeys were struggling like mad men to complete the installation of both belligerents flags and coats of arms. The two delegations, separated by the red carpet running from the wide main doors to the makeshift throne at the opposite side, were looking daggers at each other. Everyone was expecting a quick peace agreement but was trying to cultivate his animosity, just in case. The most powerful men of Europe were here, the noblest lineages represented.
Charles V was waiting, august, sitting straight in the throne, looking down upon the assembly, a little like a teacher looking after a mob of turbulent children. The etiquette master finally nodded at the monarch who stood up. He cut a fine figure with his black satin outfit and a silver hilted sword by his side. The hall went silent instantly. The Emperor came down a step and half raised a hand as in a greeting gesture. He kept looking right in front of him at man's height as he began with a powerful voice:
“I, Charles V, Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire and Archduke of Austria, am very delighted that you have agreed to this meeting. This proves your wisdom and outstanding clear-sightedness. This gives our States reason to hope.”
Still gazing right in front of him, he pursued:
“This war dragging on for five years now has seen our armies fighting in Italy as well as in the Netherlands and throughout the seas bordering Europe. Thousands men died on both sides, our subjects as well as our finances are exhausted. And now, there is France growing as a serious menace. François the First even dared to contract an alliance with the heathens. We should not forget the heretic vermin either. It is growing like couch grass all across my German holdings, threatening our most holy catholic Church, which you are wedded to just as much as I am.”
Among the assembled men, everyone crossed himself and short prayers were muttered.
“Today, it is our responsibility to reach an agreement. I do have a generous offer which I think will be able to win your acceptance and bring peace.
Even though we have of course never met directly on the battlefield, we have both masterfully lead our valiant armies through many victories and defeats. And yet, the fate of the war is not sealed. Even though your fleet clearly managed to forbid mine any access to the seas, my forces currently occupy the totality of the Low-Countries. Chances are high that neither of us could possibly score any significant success in the other one's mainland, which places us in a disastrous deadlock.”
He had a short pause so that everyone could be impregnated with the dramatic touch of his words. He glanced through the crowd, checking that expressions were appropriately concerned. Satisfied, he brought his glaze straight in front of him.
Here is my proposition : in exchange of the province of Zeeland, I offer an immediate cease-fire and the withdrawal of my troops from the rest of the Low-Countries, which would continue to recognize you as their rightful sovereign.”
He lightly bent forward, hands spread in an invitation gesture.
“Are you willing to accept these terms ?”
Having said that, he stood and waited. Lackeys rushed in. The firsts, wearing the colors of the Holy Roman Empire took his coat and hat. The following ones, wearing Spain's coat of arms, dressed him in a sparkling black and gold plate mail. Their task accomplished, they all retired. In the following sepulchral silence, everyone held his breath while the monarch took four steps forward, half turned to face the empty throne and pursued with the same stentorian voice:
“I, Charles the First, King of Spain, do thank you for your commitment in this peace conference. I gladly acknowledge the shrewdness of your analysis. I do agree upon the cession of my province of Zeeland to your Empire. May this peace allow me to put an end to François the First's ambitions as well as to the berber's piracy. And may this peace allow you to finally crush all heathens: both these so-called “reformed” and Soliman.
I do propose that we seal our treaty without further delay under the auspices of the wisest possible witness. I have chosen a sovereign of high lineage who we both respect...”
He turned in the direction of the entrance.
“... Charles IV, King of Sicily!”
Spanish lackeys immediately rushed in, quickly followed by others wearing the arms of Sicily...
Whispers, clanks, cloth rustles were echoing in the large hall. Hordes of lackeys were struggling like mad men to complete the installation of both belligerents flags and coats of arms. The two delegations, separated by the red carpet running from the wide main doors to the makeshift throne at the opposite side, were looking daggers at each other. Everyone was expecting a quick peace agreement but was trying to cultivate his animosity, just in case. The most powerful men of Europe were here, the noblest lineages represented.
Charles V was waiting, august, sitting straight in the throne, looking down upon the assembly, a little like a teacher looking after a mob of turbulent children. The etiquette master finally nodded at the monarch who stood up. He cut a fine figure with his black satin outfit and a silver hilted sword by his side. The hall went silent instantly. The Emperor came down a step and half raised a hand as in a greeting gesture. He kept looking right in front of him at man's height as he began with a powerful voice:
“I, Charles V, Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire and Archduke of Austria, am very delighted that you have agreed to this meeting. This proves your wisdom and outstanding clear-sightedness. This gives our States reason to hope.”
Still gazing right in front of him, he pursued:
“This war dragging on for five years now has seen our armies fighting in Italy as well as in the Netherlands and throughout the seas bordering Europe. Thousands men died on both sides, our subjects as well as our finances are exhausted. And now, there is France growing as a serious menace. François the First even dared to contract an alliance with the heathens. We should not forget the heretic vermin either. It is growing like couch grass all across my German holdings, threatening our most holy catholic Church, which you are wedded to just as much as I am.”
Among the assembled men, everyone crossed himself and short prayers were muttered.
“Today, it is our responsibility to reach an agreement. I do have a generous offer which I think will be able to win your acceptance and bring peace.
Even though we have of course never met directly on the battlefield, we have both masterfully lead our valiant armies through many victories and defeats. And yet, the fate of the war is not sealed. Even though your fleet clearly managed to forbid mine any access to the seas, my forces currently occupy the totality of the Low-Countries. Chances are high that neither of us could possibly score any significant success in the other one's mainland, which places us in a disastrous deadlock.”
He had a short pause so that everyone could be impregnated with the dramatic touch of his words. He glanced through the crowd, checking that expressions were appropriately concerned. Satisfied, he brought his glaze straight in front of him.
Here is my proposition : in exchange of the province of Zeeland, I offer an immediate cease-fire and the withdrawal of my troops from the rest of the Low-Countries, which would continue to recognize you as their rightful sovereign.”
He lightly bent forward, hands spread in an invitation gesture.
“Are you willing to accept these terms ?”
Having said that, he stood and waited. Lackeys rushed in. The firsts, wearing the colors of the Holy Roman Empire took his coat and hat. The following ones, wearing Spain's coat of arms, dressed him in a sparkling black and gold plate mail. Their task accomplished, they all retired. In the following sepulchral silence, everyone held his breath while the monarch took four steps forward, half turned to face the empty throne and pursued with the same stentorian voice:
“I, Charles the First, King of Spain, do thank you for your commitment in this peace conference. I gladly acknowledge the shrewdness of your analysis. I do agree upon the cession of my province of Zeeland to your Empire. May this peace allow me to put an end to François the First's ambitions as well as to the berber's piracy. And may this peace allow you to finally crush all heathens: both these so-called “reformed” and Soliman.
I do propose that we seal our treaty without further delay under the auspices of the wisest possible witness. I have chosen a sovereign of high lineage who we both respect...”
He turned in the direction of the entrance.
“... Charles IV, King of Sicily!”
Spanish lackeys immediately rushed in, quickly followed by others wearing the arms of Sicily...