Home Trending Latest threads New posts Developer diaries

"Guess-the-Author" Analysis and Critiques

Jump to latest Follow Reply
  • We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.
Show only dev responses
1: Well, the sudden time jump was jarring. I really liked the premise in general, but I think it might have worked together with just the one scene of despair and revenge together. The part with the wine unfortunately read false. I can't imagine her husband just smiling and accepting the goblet after she walked in on him and one of her maids. Even if he had her beaten into submission like he thought, that'd be a good reasonf or her to avoid him - not walk in with some wine.

2: Again the time jumps threw me. I have to share I think it was Amric's comment - this chap who was obviously so bad at ruling and leading loses yet lives through two wars, gaining more power each time? If his side won they could easily reward more deserving men, and if his side lost the winners would probably exile him ... if they were feeling nice.

3: Definitely over the top! I had trouble getting into this one, though at least I understood the messenger's despair. The PM is obviously and overtly out of touch with reality (or a transvestite). One could wonder how he came into power in the first place.

4: Like the others I think it was too short. We had a brief summary of the new king, and were told what would happen rather than being shown. Just off the top of my head, we could have seen the coronation from the view of this person, obviously hoping for better after the last bad king, only to hear the newbie declare war on Rautasi and Gandeln AT THE SAME TIME.
 
There are some people who seem to have forgotten to put in their reviews....I'm sure the authors are biting their nails to see what else people are going to say about their work. So, do your forum proud and tell us what you think of the various works for this month!
 
Coz1 said:
Stephen King actually suggests going over your work after you write a bit and striking out almost every word that ends in –ly.
Click to expand...
Coz, am I mistaken, or did you just accuse Author #3 of "ly-ing"?! :rolleyes:

I'll be around soon to do some reading and critiquing!

Renss
 
Author names will be revealed July 3rd!

(...unless we get a LOT more critiques! We only have five.)
 
Puh, close to miss my first review due to gigantic work pressure ( I thought people would go on vacation by this time? :cool: :p but here is my short reviews. Nice to see Coz as commentator.

Author 1

Very good writing though the time line might be a bit off. Nothing that disturbed much though since I think the story had a good rhythm.

Author 2

I must admit I was a bit confused when reading this story but with some more work it could have improved. Still a good shot.

Author 3

I liked the start very much, very captive. The story was funny and well written.

Author 4

Well this is too short to comment, try again please :D
 
Sorry they're late, but I was expecting a few more replies.
Thanks to all the authors who submitted entries, and to all those who submitted critiques!

AND OUR AUTHORS WERE...

AUTHOR #1: Valdemar

AUTHOR #2: Fenwick

AUTHOR #3: Hajji Giray I

AUTHOR #4: billy bob
 
I suppose I should explain my entry at least partially. It was originally written in forty minutes for coz1's topic "Insane monarch/ruler", but then when I finished he PMed back to say that four authors had responded before I did. :( Knowing a silly piece when I saw it, I kept the thing lying around and when only three authors responded this time I pulled it out and changed the ending. This is definitely not the original ending, which is why I wrote in my own critique:
Hajji Giray I said:
Another thing, about the end of the piece - it seems to have been tacked on to a story about a different topic,
Click to expand...
...because it was! Glad nobody else noticed though! :)

The opening was supposed to be stuffy and dry and bring up impressions of dark rooms of paneled oak and a thin layer of dust and a slight difficulty breathing the air. Then the PM was supposed to be a slight alarm signal of a tone change - and then the joke is dropped in backhanded. Quite as planned, though I did go overboard on those adverbs.

I don't know if it's supposed to be Neville Chamberlain or not. The idea is amusing.
 
Ack!

I missed the reviews! :eek:

Coz used to give us three weeks, or so! I was coasting, figuring I had time.

Sorry about that! I've never missed a cycle before. :eek:o

Well, I will still read them.. and if folks want, I'll even offer my thoughts. Just haven't had time just yet.

Thanks for doing this, Hajji! Great to keep the ball rolling and not let it fall in a rut.

Renss
 
Rensslaer said:
Well, I will still read them.. and if folks want, I'll even offer my thoughts. Just haven't had time just yet.
Click to expand...
Sorry, go ahead :) we'd love to hear your comments still.
(Note though, I did give warning ;) )
 
Rensslaer said:
Ack!

I missed the reviews! :eek:

Coz used to give us three weeks, or so! I was coasting, figuring I had time.

Sorry about that! I've never missed a cycle before. :eek:o

Well, I will still read them.. and if folks want, I'll even offer my thoughts. Just haven't had time just yet.

Thanks for doing this, Hajji! Great to keep the ball rolling and not let it fall in a rut.

Renss
Click to expand...

Critique mine please. :D

Sorry bout the length but I thought I had only an hour and I never managed to think of an idea till then.

I give extra points if people spot the anagrams. (I think they are called that. I took apart a few words and made new ones.) I was hoping people would spot them and see what happens as the same in real life.
 
Unless someone else wants to take up the mantle for July (coz?), we're going to have to hurry up a little bit because I leave on vacation July 22 and though it's doable to have four entries posted by then it is a little hurried - entries posted 21st, so topic announced 14th, so just three days to wrap up the (rather dead) June discussion.
 
Maybe I'll do it! If coz doesn't feel like it, of course...

All I need is an email address, right?
 
I do not have the time at present to take this back up, so Hajji or anonymous or anyone else, please feel free to keep at it. And yes - all you need is an email address for them to send the submission to (sometimes they are too long for PM.) :)
 
Seeing we dont get much more feedback until the next turn I'll try and explain my thoughts :)

The break in the middle was quite deliberate :) maybe a few *** would have made it clearer, but the reasoning is as follows..

She hates his guts, but gets pregnant, is unable to kill the child, and plots her revenge.. thats scene one, one the parapet. then she kepes the child.. waits until she is almost due.. say 5-6 months later, making certain it is indeed still living, and that she is getting on his best side.. afterall she carries his heir... as indicated by the fact he hauntsw the maids, and has started to leave her alone I did not find it completely implausible that he would accept the goblet form her.. after all he thinks her thouroughly cowed :)

So he drinks.. dies. the maid gets blamed and if she doesn't die in child birth then she rules :D

V
 
Go for it nonymon!

Looking forward to reading the entries, before or after vacation ... :cool:
 
So.... Do I just pick a topic now?
 
Sure, anonymous. Pick away!

My only recommendation is to try and keep it non-genre specific, so if people like a certain game or setting they can use that.
 
Yes, by all means...pick a topic...as Catknight mentioned it would be good to be non genre specific...
 
Amric said:
Yes, by all means...pick a topic...as Catknight mentioned it would be good to be non genre specific...
Click to expand...
I "third" that idea, on both counts. ;) And anonymous - feel free to PM me if you have any questions about the way to run the G-t-A. Or Hajji for that matter. Either of us would be happy to give you a run down of how we have run it in the past. :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back