The Mighty Haiti
I am pleased to announce the coming of an AAR on HAITI! I will begin this game shortly. It will be only my second game in HoI (First as Germany) so I might make some fatal exception errors!To all that are interested I say; sit down, get some popcorn, and enjoy the ..... whatever it will be.
LONG LIVE THE MIGHTY EMPIRE OF HAITI!
Last edited by vigilantsldr; 18-05-2004 at 19:06.
Beyond the mountains there are mountains again.
Haitian proverb
The Mighty Haiti - A Haitian AAR
Gotterdammerung: 1944-1948
Ha ha, Haiti's going to have it's own empire huh? I can't wait...
After Action Reports
The Mat'ka Letters: Slovakia in World War II (Ongoing)
No! Down with Haiti! All hail the Mighty, Invincible, Super Power: The Dominican Republic! Vive la Dominican Republique! Long live the Dominicans!
Haiti, Is that one of those countrys you take just becouse you feel sorry for it and it adds to you empire, This seems intresting I will have to subscabe to this and see what becomes of 'the mighty Haiti'
(little countrys are fun to work with Like my Iceland AAR)
I am a martian, Oogy-oogy-snarckhlkuhfg!
My Icelandic AAR: Vikings and 12'o'clock, an Iceland AAR DONE
Also another Iceland AAR:Iceland: The Beginning of The End DIED IN THE WATER
Proud Basketweaver Commando B of Luxemburg
The true maker of the 'UPDATE SONG'
LONG LIVE ICELAND
But more important
LONG LIVE MARTIANS
Go Haiti Go!
Member of the International Native Speaker Resistance
Proud owner of 50 2Coaties
I believe it when I see it.
Good luck!
This sounds like it will be rich tale
To view is human, to comment is divine.
"Be not afraid" - John Paul II
"The Christian way has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found to be hard and left untried" - GK Chesterton.
Current AAR: A Milanese Education EU3 DW 5.1
Completed AAR: In Memory of France EU2
View my full AAR list at The Inkwell
My library
Ask not what AARland can do for you, but what you can do for AARland.
Go Haiti! Take what's yours! Take what isn't! It doesn't matter! Just take!
The island of Hispaniola (La Isla Española), which today is occupied by the nations of Haiti and the Dominican Republic, was one of several landfalls Christopher Columbus made during his first voyage to the New World in 1492. Columbus established a makeshift settlement on the north coast, which he dubbed Navidad (Christmas), after his flagship, the Santa María, struck a coral reef and foundered.
After the Spainsh found no gold or other valuable minerals, they began to neglect the colony. Although Hispaniola never realized its economic potential under Spanish rule, it remained strategically important as the gateway to the Caribbean.
Reportedly expelled by the Spanish from Saint Christopher, the original French residents of Tortuga Island, off the northwest coast of Hispaniola, sustained themselves mostly through two means: curing the meat and tanning the hides of wild game, and pirating Spanish ships. After skirmishes with the declining Spanish empire Spain finally relinquished sovereignty over the area to France in the Treaty of Ryswick in 1697.
By the mid-eighteenth century, a territory largely neglected under Spanish rule had become the richest and most coveted colony in the Western Hemisphere. By the eve of the French Revolution, Saint-Domingue produced about 60 percent of the world's coffee and about 40 percent of the sugar imported by France and Britain. Saint-Domingue played a pivotal role in the French economy, accounting for almost two-thirds of French commercial interests abroad and about 40 percent of foreign trade.
Violent conflicts between white colonists and black slaves were common in Saint-Domingue. A slave rebellion of 1791 finally toppled the colony. On January 1, 1804, Haiti proclaimed its independence. Through this action, it became the second independent state in the Western Hemisphere and the first free black republic in the world. Two separate regimes (north and south) emerged after independence but were unified in 1820. Two years later, Haiti conquered Santo Domingo, the eastern, Spanish-speaking portion of Hispaniola. In 1844, however, Santo Domingo broke away from Haiti and became the Dominican Republic. With 22 changes of government from 1843 until 1915, Haiti experienced numerous periods of intense political and economic disorder, prompting United States military intervention in 1915. U.S. military forces were withdrawn in 1934 at the request of the elected Government of Haiti.
We pick up in 1936, as Stenio Vincent solidifies his position as "Grand President For Life!"
Beyond the mountains there are mountains again.
Haitian proverb
The Mighty Haiti - A Haitian AAR
Gotterdammerung: 1944-1948
Finally an update
After Action Reports
The Mat'ka Letters: Slovakia in World War II (Ongoing)
One never knows quite what to expect from 'little' country aars. That is one thing that makes them so fun. Looking forward to more.
To view is human, to comment is divine.
"Be not afraid" - John Paul II
"The Christian way has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found to be hard and left untried" - GK Chesterton.
Current AAR: A Milanese Education EU3 DW 5.1
Completed AAR: In Memory of France EU2
View my full AAR list at The Inkwell
My library
Ask not what AARland can do for you, but what you can do for AARland.
Cool, Go Haiti. Like you introduction of history.
I am a martian, Oogy-oogy-snarckhlkuhfg!
My Icelandic AAR: Vikings and 12'o'clock, an Iceland AAR DONE
Also another Iceland AAR:Iceland: The Beginning of The End DIED IN THE WATER
The true maker of the 'UPDATE SONG'
LONG LIVE ICELAND
But more important
LONG LIVE MARTIANS
January 1st, 1936
6:00 a.m.
Port-au-Prince, Haiti
In a small one room mud hut 5 men sit around a flimsy card table talking and chewing on sugar cane stalks. The hut is adorned with the new Haiti national flag and other posters of propaganda. One such poster depicts the newly elected "President for Life", Stenio Vincent plowing a field in an Armani suit. Under the photo the caption reads, "Elect me and I PROMISE one of us will never have to do this again!" Signs, buttons, bumper stickers all bearing the slogan, "Vincent for Life!" litter the floor. A horse and carriage is heard stopping outside and the 5 men stand at attention. The door bursts open and a little boy dashes in with an accordion straped to him. Grinning, he begins playing a bad rendition of "Hail to the Chief". PfL Stenio Vincent marches in and stands in the doorway.
5 men in unison: All hail the Great President for Life, Stenio Vincent!
(The music stops)
Vincent: If I've said it once I've said it a thousand times. DO NOT SAY ALL HAIL! Who do you think I am, Hitler?
Field Marshal Lescot: No sir! Hitler is the Leader of a great and powerful nation which no man dares to defy!
(The room is suddenly quiet. The only audible sound is a rat licking on some ice under the table.)
Vincent: Field Marshal Lescot, if you were not my Armaments Minister, Chief of Staff, and Chief of Army I would _
Lescot: Kill me!?! Surely you wouldn't!
Vincent: No fool, make you eat my wife's zucchini and catfish liver casserole. And don't call me Shirley! Now if you will all take your seats I think we need to get on with this meeting. Lescot, what is the state of our glorious nation's army?
(Lescot walks over to the only wall not covered with posters and tacks up a map that he had folded in his back pocket.)
Lescot: As you can see we are in dire need of two things:
1. An army.
2. See number one.
Vincent: I hate to break in on your little speech here but, WHAT is that sponsor tag doing on you map?
Lescot: We had no funding for maps in the budget so I had to seek corporate sponsorship.
Vincent: Oh for the love of sugar cane. Before I get a surprise, tell me what else we have sponsored around here.
(Lescot turns and displays the back of his medal laden uniform, revealing a McDonalds logo that covers his whole back)
Vincent: Anything else?
Lescot: Just the Army's helmets sir. Here is a photo:
Vincent:
Lescot: Moving on. You can see by the map that we have 1 Infantry Division that is at 50% strength. I recommend moving them up to 100%. You can also see that due to the fact that they are using high powered sling shots for guns we need to modernize our equipment.
Vincent: You mean research Daisy BB guns?
Lescot: B.B. guns?..... Cool! Anyway, we need to put the military on the priority because of our vicious and aggressive neighbor to the east.
(The room grow quiet again and the only sound is a rat peeing on cotton)
Everyone in unison: The evil empire of the Dominican Republic!
Lescot: I ask that we reinforce our current division to full strength, begin the construction of second division, AND look into some artillery research.
Vincent: How about a self propelled MLRS with GPS counter battery technology?
Lescot: Let's start with a 90mm gun.
Vincent: Mr. Lescot, make it as you say. Bellegarde, do you have anything to bring to the table?
Bellegarde: No sir, I didn't realize we all had to bring something so I've just been mooching off of Lescot's Fritos.
Vincent: IDIOT!
Lescot: Yes sir!
Vincent: No not you idiot, the other idiot! Bellegarde, do you have anything to tell us about National Security?
Bellegarde: Oh, yes sir. I am of the strong belief that we have millions of illegal immigrants here working in our cane and coffee fields. We need to give them some form of legal status. Maybe a 3 year work visa. Oh, and we might want to take over the Dominican Republic. I heard they hate us.
Vincent: O.K. Lets put these plans in action as soon as possible. But don't leak this to the press in the mean time. UNDERSTAND!
(All grin sheepishly and nod)
Vincent: Good. Nemours, what is the status of our great and mighty Navy?
Nemours: I have a photo for you sir!
Vincent: Just two qustion my good boy. How many of these do we have and where are they right now?
Nemours: Just one sir, and its in your hand.
Vincent: Our navy is a blasted picture?
Nemours: A full color picture sir! Shall I email it to the Dominican Republic to scare them sir? It will be... like a show of force. An enemy's carrier near your country can be mighty scary! We might even export more Depends to them!
Vincent: Whatever floats your boat Nemours.
The other 5 in the room:
Vincent: Sorry about the corn. But next time laugh. Mr. Edouard Roy, tell me about the grand Air Force.
Roy: Sir, my budget is so small I don't even have a picture. Will you please allocate a $1.00 in the budget for the air force? PLEASE!
Vincent: Jealous are we? If we have a dollar to spare my son I will see that it goes to you. Now I'm starving. Lets break for lunch and meet back here in an hour.
(Vincent walks out to his carriage and rides off. The other 5 men clock out on the time clock and head for the cafeteria in the mud hut next door.)
Last edited by vigilantsldr; 24-04-2004 at 08:38.
Beyond the mountains there are mountains again.
Haitian proverb
The Mighty Haiti - A Haitian AAR
Gotterdammerung: 1944-1948
THAT was funny
This game will make Modders of us all!
"The fundemental principle of the military art, namely, that the objective should be gained at minimal cost in human life."--Gen. Dimitrii Antonovich Volkogonov
Absolutely hilarious!
To view is human, to comment is divine.
"Be not afraid" - John Paul II
"The Christian way has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found to be hard and left untried" - GK Chesterton.
Current AAR: A Milanese Education EU3 DW 5.1
Completed AAR: In Memory of France EU2
View my full AAR list at The Inkwell
My library
Ask not what AARland can do for you, but what you can do for AARland.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA, did i mention HA, THat was funny, But how is everybody going to take you sioursly when you declare war, what you going to tell you BurgerKing Sponser not to sell burgers there!?!?!
IT is good, Had a sense of humor that we all need in AAR's (Will at least mine, why don't you go read it, see my sig)
I am a martian, Oogy-oogy-snarckhlkuhfg!
My Icelandic AAR: Vikings and 12'o'clock, an Iceland AAR DONE
Also another Iceland AAR:Iceland: The Beginning of The End DIED IN THE WATER
The true maker of the 'UPDATE SONG'
LONG LIVE ICELAND
But more important
LONG LIVE MARTIANS
January 1st, 1936
1:00 p.m.
Port-au-Prince, Haiti
President Stenio Vincent sits alone in the same mud hut that only an hour ago was the scene of a flurry of activity. As his watch moves to 1:01p.m., the door swings open, falls off its hinges, and the 5 members of his staff walk in, but only 4 clock in on the time clock for this meeting. Everyone grabs a cup of coffee beans and takes a seat in their places.
Vincent: Mr. Bellegarde, I was wondering if your hind quarters was a little sore this afternoon?
Bellegarde: Why would you think that Mr. President?
Vincent: Because you have been riding our nations clock through lunch you crooked kleptocrat. I am the all knowing President for Life and you better get used to me knowing where you are and what you are doing on national time. And let me add this, one more stunt like that and I'm pulling the plug on you.
Bellegarde: I beg you sir, don't take away my internet.
Vincent: I see I have made my point. Before we reach the intelligence briefing portion of this meeting, does anyone have any additional comments or suggestions?
Lescot: Lescot says we need to build an army.
Vincent: We've already covered this, we are going to build the most vicious army that ever walked the face of the western hemisphere.
Lescot: Lescot says we need better equipment for our ground troops.
Vincent: Been there, talked about that, and I have the T-Shirt to prove it:
Lescot: We need to build a huge air force.
Roy: Now we are talking. Lescot, I take back everything bad I ever said about your momma.
Lescot: HA HA, I didn't say Lescot says! You fell for it, you fell for it! That just shows this whole room why I hold 3 positions on the cabinet and the sole spot as Field Marshal of the Grand Army of Haiti. I am a mastermind!
Vincent: Lescot.
Lescot: President Vincent.
Vincent: Shut up.
Lescot: Right away sir.
Vincent: Now to the intelligence briefing. Mr. Arronde', we are planning to try and conquer the evil and vicious forces of the Dominican Republic. What input do you have for us?
Arronde': Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.
Vincent: Thank you Arronde'. Well if no one else has anything to add. .... Good, before we dismiss I would like to announce that I added Mr. Joseph Borno to the staff. He is filling the role of Foreign Minister and even as we speak is in Britain seeing if the Allies can talk us into coming into their alliance. When he returns we will have a welcome to the neighborhood party at my house. Check your emails for an update on the day and time. Well, I guess I'll see you all later. You are dismissed.
(Everyone gets up and heads to the time clock. One by one everyone put their card into the clock. After they all leave President Vincent walks over and begins examining the time cards.)
Vincent: BELLGARDE GET YOUR REAR BACK IN HERE!
Last edited by vigilantsldr; 18-05-2004 at 01:03. Reason: PICTURE NOT WORKING
Beyond the mountains there are mountains again.
Haitian proverb
The Mighty Haiti - A Haitian AAR
Gotterdammerung: 1944-1948
....Best...Shirt...EVER!!
Keiper: I hope my serious intro of Haiti history that has turned into a comic AAR hasn't ran you off. I am planning a serious AAR using a different country next time.
Aboo & stnylan: Thanks for the encouragement.
coebaotu - a.k.a. "martian guy": That is one long name my friend. If you don't mind I would like to refer to you as C the Martian in future posts. As far Burger King getting mad with my DoW's, who do you think is sponsoring the wars?
Lobster: If I was President Bush I'd have one on during every press conference to let the public know what I've been up to.
Beyond the mountains there are mountains again.
Haitian proverb
The Mighty Haiti - A Haitian AAR
Gotterdammerung: 1944-1948
This is great. I like the time clock bit especially. Kudos!
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