Chapter 2, Part VI
In which Bruce and Barry fight the Swiss (again)
February 1454
Scene: In the dungeons. Barry and Bruce are making their way down a passageway.
Barry: How long have we been here now, Bruce?
Bruce: *thinking* Just over 25 years, by my count.
Barry: And how do I look?
Bruce: Oh you look good, Barry. Those black hose really suit you, and I think that codpiece will be a real trendsetter.
Barry: Not my clothes, me! How do I look? How old would you say I am?
Bruce: You don't look a day over 30, Barry.
Barry: Nor do you, Bruce.
Bruce: Thanks.
Barry: But thats the problem. How old were we when we arrived?
Bruce: *thinking even harder* About minus 550, I'd say. Give or take.
Barry: OK ... I'll put it another way. If it had of been 2004 in 1419, how old would you have been?
Bruce: You lost me ...
Barry: How many years had you been alive before we got here?
Bruce: Its all a bit of a blur ...
Barry: You don't know when your birthday was?
Bruce: Errr ... No. Not exactly.
Barry: Oh ... Me neither.
Bruce: Well, here we are. Lets go talk to the ambassador.
Bruce unlatches a cell door, and the pair enter. Inside the cell is a tall blonde man.
Bruce: You are the ambassador from Saxony?
Saxon Ambassador: Yes, my lord.
Bruce: You look familiar. You're not from Magdeburg are you?
Saxon Ambassador: No, my lord. Although in times past the relations between Saxony and Magdeburg were better than they are now ... I believe I have some cousins in Magdeburg, who may, perhaps look somewhat like me.
Barry: That might be it. Just making sure. You heard about the Swiss War, I assume?
Saxon Ambassador: Only rumours. I gave them no credence.
Barry: What rumour did you hear?
Saxon Ambassador: That there was some sort of mix up, and that you intended to invade Magdeburg.
Bruce: *glaring at Barry* The important point is that we easily defeated the Swiss. And our military continues to improve. Just today we established cantonments in Austria and expanded our armies as a result. In any event, our relations with Magdeburg have improved since the Swiss War. Why, just last year we offered them a royal marriage.
Saxon Ambassador: *softly* Yes, but they refused. Something about the bride having crossed eyes and a humped back, I heard.
Bruce: Also our expertise in naval matters continues to improve ...
Saxon Ambassador: I hardly need remind you that, like Austria, Saxony is a landlocked country. Your naval prowess impresses us not at all. However, there is no need for your threats, Saxony views Austria as a very good friend.
Bruce: Would you back that up with soldiers, if it came to it.
Saxon Ambassador: I think so.
Bruce: Good, Good. Send a message back to your prince, we will conclude a treaty of military alliance immediately.
Ambassador: At once!
...
September 1454
Scene: The Archducal throneroom. Now aged fourteen, Archduke Ladislas is slouched across the throne, looking very unhappy. Duke Leopold stands to the Archduke's left, looking very weary.
Ladislas: You two know why I have sent for you?
Bruce: Because we have done such an excellent job, and you want to reward us?
Ladislas: Actually, yes. You have done well in looking after the province of Lombardia. It has now been over five years since that province last revolted. Do you think it is safe to visit now?
Barry ignores a pointed look and shake of the head from Duke Leopold.
Barry: Oh yes, I would think it is quite safe.
Leopold: But the realm is still not stable. There have been revolts in Ansbach, have there not?
Barry: True, but the last of those was almost three years ago. Everything is peaceful there now.
Leopold: But I think it is still not safe for the Emperor to travel to Milan?
Barry: Oh no, it would be quite safe.
Leopold: The Emperor must be kept safe at all costs. We would hold you responsible if any harm came to him.
Bruce: Well, when you put it that way ... Swiss raiders have been causing problems in the alpine passes in Tirol. Perhaps it would be better if Ladislas stayed here.
Ladislas: *pouting* I could fight a hundred Swiss myself! Lets go now!
Bruce: The raiders don't fight honourably, my lord. These are terrorist actions, sponsored by a rogue state.
Ladislas: What do you suggest?
Bruce: We should invade, and teach them that your imperial majesty is not to be trifled with.
Ladislas: Very well. You have my blessing to fight the Swiss wherever you may find them. And while you are doing that, add the province of Schwyz to my realm.
Leopold: That is not a realistic goal, my lord!
Ladislas: *coldly* Duke Leopold, I remind you that my father ruled this land in his own right when he was my age. However, I am Emperor, and so have more to learn, and so I choose to listen to your advice. However, in 1459, when I will be a ruler in my own right, I will find you two. If Schwyz has not been captured by then, I will be very disappointed. Is that clear?
Bruce: Crystal clear, my lord.
Bruce and Barry both bow and make their way out.
Barry: You had to mention the Swiss, didn't ya? He would have been happy with a keep Lombardia, but noooo ... Brucie has to mention the Swiss. Now we'll have years up in the mountains.
Bruce: But Barry, this will be a war against terror. You'll be able to raise war taxes again.
Barry: Its not all bad, I suppose.
Bruce and Barry catch up with the Narrator in the hallway.
Bruce: Its been a while since we saw you. Got good news for us, I hope?
Narrator: I had to pop up to Finland. We were able to follow the migrating reindeer. It really was fascinating stuff. But then they dragged me back, because you two started another war.
Migratory reindeer from Finland.
Narrator: On February the 18th, 1455, the Second Swiss War began. Once again, Austria was the aggressor in this war, and once again, war was declared without a valid reason in the eyes of the world. Levels of discontent rocketed within Austria, and relations with the outside world were badly shaken. However, Austria received the full support of her allies, Savoy and Saxony, while Helvetia was supported only by her small neighbours Baden and Strassburg.
Unlike the First Swiss War, Austria immediately moved to achieve the objective set by their ruler, and besieged Zurich, the capital of Schwyz. Meanwhile, Baden moved to prevent Savoy from offering any support to the Austrians by besieging Savoy.
With the two sieges in progress, the war bogged down into a race.
Barry: Wouldn't be much of a race if they were bogged.
Narrator: *pausing and glaring at Barry* It was a race that Austria and her allies lost. On March 7, 1456 the Badenese army captured Savoy. The Savoyards were faced with no choice but to accept vassalisation from Baden. However, even this was turned to Austria's advantage, since the Badenese army remained in Savoy, in order to guard against the restless populace who threatened to revolt against their new masters at any time.
In May of 1456, Austrian armies finally captured Zurich. Austria's aims in the war had been achieved, but Austria was not willing to let the matter rest. Savoy's capture needed to be avenged. The Austrian army marched north from Schwyz, into Baden. Baden's army remained in Savoy, combatting any potential uprisings there, her military commanders put faith in the city walls to hold the Austrians out.
However, the Austrians were nothing if not patient, and just over 12 months after the siege began, Austria captured Baden. Baden was immediately vassalised, and the Austrian army moved across the Rhine to fight Strassburg.
Bruce travelled with the army throughout the war, but he was not permitted to have any role in its command. The regency council in Vienna, ever cautious about the possibility of the Emperor being overthrown had agreed that no member of that council should command any body of troops, for fear that such a command would make it too easy to launch a revolution. In early November, he received a summons from Duke Friedrich, on behalf of the regency council, informing him that he was needed in Vienna.
...
November 27, 1457:
Scene: The hallway outside of the throneroom in Vienna. Bruce is met by Barry and Duke Leopold. Bruce is still stained by the mud from the road, the other two are dressed in black, with sombre looks on their faces.
Duke Leopold: Duke Wolfgang! Thank God you are here!
Bruce: What's up?
Duke Leopold: Alas, four days ago the young Emperor suffered what seemed to be a seizure of some sort. For three days he remained alive, barely breathing, but then early this morning he finally slipped away.
Bruce: Wasn't someone watching him? How did he get out of the room? He was sick.
Barry: He means that Ladislas died.
Bruce: Oh. ... Ohhhh! Are you sure it was a seizure?
The Emperor Ladislas, just before his unfortunate seizure.
Leopold: That is what we believed. Do you know otherwise?
Bruce: Nooo ... Its just ... I was summoned back to Vienna by Duke Friedrich.
Leopold: Yes, you presence will be required as a part of the regency council to choose the next Archduke.
Bruce: Yes, but I was in Strassburg at the time. I have travelled two weeks to get here. And the messenger must have taken at least as long to get to me. It looks like Duke Friedrich knew I would be needed now a month ago.
Barry: Now a month ago? *puzzled* Now is now ... Well not then, but now its now. Now ...
Bruce: I mean, its looks like Fred knew beforehand that something would be happening to Ladislas now.
Barry: But don't we have ... insurance ... against such a moment?
Leopold: Yes, but we have heard disturbing rumours of unrest in Hungary and Bohemia. I will send riders there to ensure that the other Ladislases still survive.
Barry: Just between us, Ladislas won't be much of a loss will he? I mean, he wasn't half the man his father was. And that hair of his!
Leopold: I was not entirely happy with the way he had turned out ... but it is always tragic to see one struck down so young. And if there has been foul play, I will take it as a personal affront to me, since the boy was under my protection.
Barry: I'm sure you did your best Leo.
Bruce: Who is next in line for the thone?
Leopold: The regency council will choose the next Archduke.
Bruce: But normally we choose the bloke who's next in line, right?
Leopold: More often that not, yes. It is best to be systematic - its the Austrian way.
Bruce: So who's next in line.
Leopold: Duke Friedrich.
Bruce: Thats what I thought. I think we should keep our ... concerns ... to ourselves. And Don't let Fred know about the messages to Hungary and Bohemia just yet.