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:D

Civilized world: frieten, pommes frites etc.
Barbaric outposts: chips
Alien world: french fries

Do it the dutch way with mayonnaise, at best the next morning.
Forget Aspirin!:cool:
 
Where is Barkdreg, and more importantly, where is the next update? Perhaps he has been diverted from his writing to perform some more of his "medical research."
 
More likely he's dipping his wick. I tell you, some people have no sense of urgency. :D
 
Here is another update, sorry you had to wait this long but I just didn’t have the time to play or write. I’m still a bit short on time so I’ll won’t give as many details as I used to (training troops, sending traders and unimportant wars,…).
Here it comes: Granada, the long peace (1555-1573).

1555
A great victory for the great Granadan navies, we know how to use n astrolabe.
Astonishing, now our captains will actually know where they are.
In September Batna reaches Conneticut, he will now explore the North-American coasts.
Only a month later he has discovered a red-skinned people, they appear to have birds as ancestors because there are feathers sticking out of their head.
In December Batna is attacked by natives in Susquehanna, he kills them all.

1556
To celebrate the new year we send a tax collector to Ciskei, the local inhabitants are overjoyed with the honour we bestow upon them.

February
Crimea cedes Azow to Russia.

March
An uprising of smelly peasants in Estramaduros? No problem, we send the army and kill them. A small group of peasants convert to the Sunni faith, we reward them. They are send to Delaware and found a colony.

October
Celebrate! Thank Allah! The Spanish king Carlos I has died. The new king is a smelly child who keeps picking his nose. He is called Felipe II, I’m wondering what happened to the first Felipe.

1157
January
The natives in Delaware decide that the Muslim way is not their way, they attack our colony but they are quickly killed.

February
Russia (Denmark, Venice, Etheopia) declare war on Astrakahan (Persia, Netherlands and Crimea), Crimea dishonours it’s alliance.

We arrange royal marriages with Sibir, Morocco and the Uzbeks. Sibir and the Uzbeksare rather smelly, we give them large amounts of soap as a wedding gift.

May
All natives in Erie are now former natives and newly formed corpses.

June
A colony is founded in Barbados

November
The smell of those sangria-drinking Spanish dogs has offended our traders for the last time, no longer are they allowed entry in our CoT’s.

1558
March
Good news, the French (Poland) declares war on the Spanish(Austria and Baden). Let the infidels kill theirselves.

We build a trading post in Palanas.

April
Susquehanna (what a name) is declared a native free zone.
Courtesy of Batna Inc., for all your native and other pest problems.

June
A trading post is built in Lobito and all the natives Adirondak have disappeared.

August
The natives in Ticonderoga go to the great hunting grounds in the sky.

September
The French pay 8ducats to the Spanish. We’re sad, we had hoped for large scale slaughter and not minor skirmishes.

November
We are the first to discover the Great Lakes near Huronie, off course we are attacked by the natives.

December
I’m know regent, should the entire council die I would have to rule the country. Woohoo! But what are the chances of that happening?

Batna retreats from Huronie:

“Batna what happened?”
“Well, as conquistador I’ve had to deal with many, many smelly people but…. In Huronie it was just horrible .”
“Did they smell that bad?”
“Oh yeah, there was a tribe called the Canadians. They wore moose heads and smelled the worst ever, kinda like… well do you know those George-bushmonkeys in Niger?”
“Okay, we understand. What’s next on the plan?”
“Well, I’m getting quiet sick of those redskinned foul-smelling natives. I’m planning a trip to Cap Verde, the people there are supposed to be very clean.”

1559
The fortifications in Cap Verde are upgraded. Now the clean inhabitants have a place to hide from the smelly conquistador that is heading their way.

Georgia has to cede the province of, well uhm, Georgia to the Austrians.

March
The Austrian might is growing, the ugly Hungarians are now vassals to the retarded Austrian Emperor.
June
The colony in Conneticut has expanded.

October
Russia annexed Astrakahan. The English Queen is heard singing:
Tum tum tum… antherone bites the dust

November
Batna reached the Cap Verde Islands.

1560
Scotland goes reformed. All together: we don’t care.

We give the fort in the Algarve an upgrade.

March
Batna arrives in Tassaret and accidentally slaughters all the natives. Ooops… I did it again.

July
The trading post in Louga is attacked by natives and destroyed. .

October
The natives from Senegal join their friends from Tassaret.

1561
The Council of Trent, the Pop has something to say but we don’t listen.
Instead we successfully reform the army (+1000 to land tech).
The fort in Huanaco gets upgraded.

March
Trading post are established in Nouahchott and Tassaret, we are now the greatest suppliers of slaves. An achievement to be proud off!

May
Spain declares war on the Incan empire.
Baden becomes a vassal to the Austrians, why do all those people want to be a vassal of beer-drinking, swine-eating barbarians?

1562
Genoa goes counter-reformed. Do we care? No, we don’t.
We built a fort in Ciskei.

April
Estramaduros revolts, we win.

1563
Those religious maniacs of Saint-John go counter-reformed.

A new CoT opens in Holland

France (Poland) declares war on the English.

We re-establish the trading post in Louga.

September
The natives in Delaware attack our colony and kill half the population.
Darn, and we have no troops nearby to liberate the colony.

1564

March
We build a colony in Louga.

April
Our armed forces start using metal bullets. Praise to our incredible smart generals.

1565
Both the Pope and Spain go counter-reformed.

March
We failed to establish the colony in Louga, 5000 natives form an army and attack the colony.
We defeat them but lose 4000 soldiers.

1566
Filthy bastards, the Spanish have opened a CoT in Aisen.

March
Poor Batna, he’s killed by natives in Senegal. In vengeance his troops slaughter all the local natives.

1567

June
England cedes Leinster and Calais to France.

1568
Austria is now a counter-reformed state.

February
Estramaduros revolts, once again we win.

March
Captives from Estramaduros arrive in Louga and expand the colony.
We renew our royal marriage with the Hafsid.

August
RM with Algiers.
October
RM with the Hedjaz.

November
Our captains get the bright idea to draw maps instead of ‘remembering’. ‘early cartography’

1569

March
The colony in Louga expands.

May
Austria annexes Hungary, Austria is getting quiet big.

September
A scandal breaks out, it would appear that some members of the council still had that old hobby involving goats and a three legged stool. Let’s hope that they are the last.

1570

March
Louga expands.

1571
We send a letter to Morocco, they don’t seem very enthusiastic about it (-86 to –79)

July
Baden is annexed by Austria. Who’s next?

December
England (Genoa) declares war on the feminine Scots (I’m told they wear skirts).

1572

The Incans give Arica and Arequipa to Spain.

March
The colonists we send to Louga are ambushed and killed by natives, we send our army and defeat them.

1573
Nothing happens!

That’s it for today. Next update will hopefully include some screenshots.
 
The new king is a smelly child who keeps picking his nose. He is called Felipe II, I?m wondering what happened to the first Felipe.
You ought to know. He's a Corporal in the Free Company ;)
 
Oh, and by the way, Barkdreg, 'Barkdreg's Wedding' is now playing at the Papacy Lite: Continuing Chronicles of the Free Company theatre.

Relive the moment ;)
 
The next update will include screenshots, really! I promise!
Did I ever lie to you?

You can only get the maps when you capture the capital!
Another reason to sack Madrid( again and again and again, I think I captured that province 5 times by now).
 
Also winning naval battles sometimes gets you "stolen rutters". Which does the same thing as sacking an enemies capital.
 
Poor Sharur, updates will come after I have finished my Byzantium AAR.
But don't worry, the Byzantium AAR is will not last that long. It has already reached the same year as this AAR.
Hope you'll forgive me;)