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There was no need to tell me the whole chamberpot and bastard story,
I didn't forget about it. I was just wondering what movie/comic/cartoon character docter Dee was based on.
Anyway, if I read all the new post I'll start writing the next update
 
Our country has grown, no longer are we a single-province country in danger of being overrun by the Spanish army. Now we are a mighty colonial empire that owns half the world and the entire Iberian.
How do I long to be able to say this without being a liar. But this is not important, nobody cares about what I say or feel, therefore I'll say only this: in october France gave Picardie to the English for peace.France is now at war with Navarre only. I pity th tiny mountainstate.The Navarese get another problem when Brittany declares war on them.

Our generals inform me that we need a larger army and better defences through the realm. the fools don't seem to understand that we cannot afford this. I decide to take 3 loans. The 600 ducats will give a big boost to our country. The gold is used to build a fortress in the Balleares, send some traders to venice and build troops. The remaining gold is used to ship 200 men and woman to Mombasa and Puerto Rico.

In the second month of the fifth year Wurtemberg declares war on Bavaria, the pityfull Bavarians are now in war with Austria, Bohemia, Spainn Hungary and Lorraine. Their king has already fled the country.

In march news reaches me that we now own a trading post in Barbados.
We are quickly becoming a colonial power.Only 2 months later our dreams of an colonial empire are shattered, neither Puerto Rico nor Mombasa sees the building of a colony. The colonists have disapeared without a trace.

August is a bad month for our military, a storm hits Andalusia and half our fleet sinks. We now have 1 transport remaining.

News reaches us that the Austrians have conquered entire Bavaria, they don't annex and only ask for the province of Ansbach and 250 ducats.

The year 1506 starts witth a great war Poland, France, Savoy, the Pope, Brittany and Helvetia declare war on Russia, Ryazan, Pskov and Denmark.

Our army is mobilized, our fleet ready to strike, scouts have reported and war is declared.We are now in war with Portugal, the Hansa and Pommerania. We don't call for our allies in fear our
relations would deteriorate.

Our troops start marching and in july they reach Tago, a small army of Portugese is chrushed and retreats too Oporto. We start sieging Lissbon and the Algarve. Our fleet strikes and 1000 brave men capture the Azores.

In August the turks declare war on the Mameluks, again.

In december the Algarve is ours, the Portugese send us a message that we can keep the Azores for peace. The messanger is covered with tar and feathers and returned to the Portugese court.
Our army in the Algarve marches to Tago to help in the siege of Lissbon.

The year 1507 starts gloriously for all Sunni nations, except the treacherous Hedjaz, Aden captures the Holy city of Mekkah and Turkey liberates Syria. In february the Turk takes Allepo.

March brings us a great surprise, a force of 10,000 soldiers from the Hansa land at the Baleares and start besieging the fortress.

In april we capture Lissbon. We capture maps revealing the entire African coast and a group of isles called Indonesia. The Portugese offer us Algarve and the Azores for peace. We have the messanger whipped and send him back. Our forces march to Oporto, defeat the remains of the Portugese army and start sieging the town.

In november the ugly peasants from Holstein declare their independance from the Danish crown. We decide to trade maps with the newly created country and gain knowledge of Scandinavia and Russia.

Some days later we capture Oporto, the very same day a messanger arrives offering us the Azores, Oporto and the Algarve. We accept.
Seeing the great victory I have won the council of Sheiks decides to promote me to count.
A glorious end for a glorious year.

The first month of 1508 sees the start of another great war: France, Savoy, the Pope, Brittany, Poland and Helvetia versus Austria, Bohemia, Spain, Hungary, Lorraine ,and Wurtemberg.
Good, let those Spanish dogs die in a war against other heaten. I must say this situation pleases me.

Around the same time Turkey captures Egypt and Cataract falls to Aden. Not all is in favour of the Turk, their city of Alexandria falls to the Mameluks. The Mameluks fear great losses of territory if the war and agree to cede Alleppo and Syria.
The Nubians and Aden protest, once again they gain nothing for their losses.

Wonderfull news reaches me in the month of september, the inhabitants of Toledo have forsaken their heaten ways and became loyal Sunni. Praise be to Allah.

In december the peasants in Holstein lose their recent independance and are once again part of the Danish realm.

and so ends another tale in the history of Granada
 
I was just wondering what movie/comic/cartoon character docter Dee was based on.
Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear. Is this really what the youth of today has come to? Someone tell him, I'm too ashamed... ;)
 
Good going!

And much further success on your conquest of the Iberian...

How hard would complete domination of Portugal be? Does it have many overseas posessions?

Greets,
BadKarma
 
Originally posted by Barkdreg
There was no need to tell me the whole chamberpot and bastard story,
I didn't forget about it. I was just wondering what movie/comic/cartoon character docter Dee was based on.
Anyway, if I read all the new post I'll start writing the next update

Oh, my. Aren't we getting a little touchy. So you didn't forget it. Just because you've risen in the world to be included among the lofty AAR authors, doesn't mean you can give yourself airs, you know. :D Well, I still remember the days when you just went around killing people and stealing baby girls.

:D :D :D :D
 
Barkdreg,

Very very interesting AAT you've got going on here. I am quite suprised at the success you are having due to the limited resources Grenada have. Happy Hunting , and can't wait for the next update

Xanadu
 
And I'm not telling you about the original Dr. Dee. You tell him, Ariel...
No, I couldn't. Poor old Barkdreg starts writing an AAR and suddenly it's become a Something Different Trade Post.

I hereby move that we stop discussing other AARs and concentrate on what's happening in Granada, before Barkdreg declares CB on me and comes after me with his double-barreled musket. Even my heavy sabre is probably no match for that...
 
gooooooooooo grenada!!!

great coup with the almost-annexation of portugal. do you have plans for further domination of them, or are you just going to let them keep their one iberian province and the few colonies they have? and what of spain? anymore plans for them as well? al-andalus is really looking like the al-andalus of old. :D

keep it going....
 
Good, let those Spanish dogs die in a war against other heaten
I'm confused. I thought non-Christians were "heathens" (from the Christian point of view) whilst non-Moslems were "Infidels" (from vica versa)???
 
A Mystery Revealed

Barky, I've decided to have pitty on you and Rictus, and all the other poor bastards out there who won't confess to ignorance. :D (You can see, I'm in a charitable mood...)

Dr John Dee (1527-1608) was...
  1. Visionary of the British Empire; coined the word Brittannia and developed a plan for the British Navy.
  2. The first to apply Euclidean geometry to navigation; built the instruments to apply Euclid; trained the first great navigators; developed the maps; charted the Northeast and Northwest Passages.
  3. An angel conjuror with his sidekick Kelley; the angels told him what Britain would have in their eventual empire; used an obsidian show stone which came from the Aztecs/Mayans and rests in the British Museum along with his conjuring table which contains the Enochian Alphabet he used as angel language. The main angel he conjured was called Ariel.
  4. Philosopher to Queen Elizabeth; did her horoscope; determined her coronation date astrologically; she came to visit him on her horse.
    [*]Founder of the Rosicrucian Order, the protestant response to the Jesuits.
    [*]An alchemist; hermeticist, cabalist, adept in esoteric and occcult lore.
  5. Translator of Euclid and wrote the famous Mathematical Preface, mapping mathematical studies for the future, a kind of system of the sciences based on math.
  6. Put a hex on the Spanish Armada which is why there was bad weather and England won.
  7. Commissioned by Elizabeth to establish the legal foundation for colonizing North America; went back to Madoc, a Welsh Prince who took a group over to New England in the middle ages and established the first colony, and intermarried with the Indians, but with little or no historical trace but for the legend.
  8. Instrumental in theatre arts and architecture.
  9. depicted by Shakespeare as Prospero, and King Lear.
  10. seller of the Voynich Manuscript, the most mysterious, a cipher as yet to be deciphered--"the Everest of cipher studies"--to the Holy Roman Emperor--Rudolph II--for a lot of gold. It resides at Yale in the Beineke Library. Probably an herbal and an almanac by Anthony Askham.
  11. owner of the greatest library in England over 4,000 books.
    [/list=1]
 
January 1509 sees the end of the Princedom of Lorraine, the small state is now part of the growing French empire. A messanger arrives and ask us to protest, we tell him that we don't care about Lorraine and put him in our finest cell.
Later that month Savoy declares war on Sweden, I don't know what the Savoyards are trying to achieve with this move. Navarre joins the Swedish side and Poland the other.
Only 2 months later Savoy is punished for it's agression when the English take Nice out of their hands.

The folowing 6 months news reaches us of the war in Venice, Poland, Austria and Bohemia. Tales of horrible battles, towns captured and lost and many christian soldiers send to the deepest pits of hell.
I thank Allah for the foolishness of the Infidel.

In august we found a trading post in Ciskei and Antsirana. Our colonial possesions are growing.

November sees the first loser in the great central-european war. Bohemia offers Silesia and Moravia to Poland in exchance for peace.

1510 starts with dire news, the Spanish have obtained Roussilion from the French. Curses, the Spaniard is growing strong again.

We hear Poland has obtained maps from large parts of the America's and decide to trade maps with them. The new maps reveal a nation of unwashed barbarians that call themselves Aztecs. Rumor is that they go to war naked, I pray for their soul and hope that they die quickly.

I commision 3 new transports for our fleet, I have some need for them in the future.

The Polish are losing ground quickly, in the first 2 months of 1511 they have to give Krakow to Hungary and Moravia to Austria.

A surprising message reaches us, the tiny kingdom of Brittany has annexed the even smaller kingdom of Navarre. Truly, the antics of barbarians can be amusing.

In August Venice cedes Istria to Austria, the Austrian emperor now has a port outside of holland. During the following years the sightings of Austrian warships increase.

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest their armpits! We have lost the Azores to a horde of rebels.

The second month of 1512 ends the history of Brittany, they are now a part of the French empire.
This suits us fine, the Spaniard won't like his neighbour growing fast and when he declares war...we're ready to jump at his throat.

The wise economical decisions of our beloved council finally pay of, Granada goes bankrupt. Morale and stability drop, the onliest thing that seems to rise is our inflation.

To make matters worse the Balleares revolt. We can not stop the rebels, our troops are so demoralised that they would flee from a child with a stick.
Only one bright light in the sea of economical darkness, we now own a trade post in the Table region.

The coming of the year 1517 brings a great scandal to the country, rumors have reached the population of the perverse habits of some of our Sheiks, espacialy the one about Murat al-Muktar, the goat and the three-legged stool seem to shock the devout moslims.

In april we found a trading post in the ivory rich province of Leone.

A miracle has happened, our inflation plumets thanks to the increased sale of goats and three-legged stools. Allah be praised.

The 18th of may the Irish decide to become part of the English empire. Rumors have reached me that the Irish are even less developed than the English, I am shocked.

In june the Baleares fall, I spend the summer designing horrible methods of torture for the leaders of the rebellion. One day they shall pay for their traison.

1514 is an exceptional year, the harvests are twice as fertile as normal, ofcourse we double the taxes.

In september the Algarve revolts our mighty army retreats and a second revolt joins the rebels besieging the town.

November sees the start of yet an other war between the Turks and the Mameluks.

January brings good news, a new religion has been created. They call themselve protestants and are enemies of the Pope. I read some of their works and am disgusted. They are even greater Infidels then the catholics and the orthodox, I decide that all protestant that live in Granada have to be banished.

The Algarve is lost, the 15th of march the city gates have opened the rebels controle the province. We send our armies to reclaim the province.
3 days later the Turks capture Jordan from the Hedjaz.

After a victorious battle the rebels are dead and the Algarve is back under Granadan rule.

The 16th of june is a day of many deaths, Alexandria falls to the Shiite dogs but Cataract is liberated by the Nubians.

In december the Turks capture Egypt and we have established a trading post in Casamance after only three trading missions.

To celebrate the new year we appoint a tax collector for the Algarve.
A rather vicious war breaks out between Rusia (Pskov, Denmark, Ryazan and Ethiopia) and the Golden Horde (Astrakahan and Persia). We don't wish them luck, everybody that allies with a Shiite deserves to be overrun by vodka-swilling peasants.

The war ends for the victorious Turk, since february 1516 Samaria and Lebanon are turkish.

July is another disgrace for our country, the 6000 men send to the Azores fail to defeat the rebels and return to Andalusia. 2000 men less.
The Golden Horde pays 41 ducats to Russia so that they can remain independant and continue their backward ways.

May 1517 brings us to another era of conquest, we declare war on Portugal, Pommerania and Brandeburg. In june we defeat a small army in Tago, they wanted to ship for Africa and die defending their capital. We start besieging Lissbon

In july we capture the Cap Verde isles with little losses. Sadly the transport that transported our men sinks while fleeing the Portugese fleet.

In 1518 we continue sieging Tago and send troops to Tangiers. We also renew our royal marriages with both the Hedjaz and Algiers.

In september lissbon falls. The Portugese maps show little new land.

A small group of 6000 Hanseatic horsemen start rampaging through Oporto, luckily they don't burn our refinery.

In august a corroption scandal breaks out, it would appear that alcohol has been sold for non-medicinal use. Inflation soars.

The first day of the year 1519 sees the rise of a new unholy emperor, Karl V of Austria. We offer 15 sheep to the man that kills him.

In june Portugal offers us the Cap Verde isles. We put the messanger in a cell and promise to let him go free when all Portugese became part of our nation.

5 months later Tangiers falls. We offer the Portugese to become part of our realm.... and they refuse!
Messangers are send to their allies and ever single one refuses a white peace. The fools.

We send 6 taders to Flanders in january 1520. They succeed in driving out 1 Portugese and 2 Hanseatic traders. Two of our traders manage to open a shop and one is found floating in a dock.

In august we build a trade post in Karoo and renew our royal marriage with Turkey.

In november 1521 a second Hansa army lands in Oporto and is quickly defeated. The same month the Portugese king offers us the Cap Verde isles for peace, we have the messanger boiled and send back.

In december the Turks wage war with the Mamaluks, again.
A Hansa army marches to it's death in Oporto, again. We use our newly invented arquebusses on the unlucky souls.

Seeing that they will not be rescued by their allies the Portugese accept our proposal of becoming part of Granada. May 1522 is a good month for our small state. We release the messanger we captured three years ago.

In june the Turks capture Egypt for the I-don't-know-how-maniest time.

January 1523 sees the Wurtemburgers turn towards the protestant religion, we couldn't care less.
 
some feedback-feedback

King of Nines: hope this explains my plans with the Portugese

Bloomfield: that Dee chap really was a busy chap, at least if you didn't make him up yourself

Ariel: you are right about the heaten-infidel issue, I'll think about it when I type my next update

for those who want to know Granada has a BB of 19, second highest is France with 8

I think I'll have to fight some wars pretty soon and Spain seems to bee amassing quite a few armies
 
Dr. Dee

No, Bark, I didn't make the stuff up. However, much of it is controversial, for instance, the colony in North America or the hex he put on the Spanish Armada. I believe the hex though, or do you think for one minute that a rag-tag no-good whoring pirate could defeat the greatest fleet the world had ever seen?
 
I spend the summer designing horrible methods of torture for the leaders of the rebellion
Don't you mean 'Medical Research'?
 
King of Nines: hope this explains my plans with the Portugese

oh, yes, quite. :D that's even better than what i had imagined. way to go, barkdreg! a "reverse crusade" of europe looks like a good idea. i can already picture the kingdom of al-andalus clashing with the ottoman turks over the control of europe. :D

great job. keep it going.
 
The gratest fleet was not all that great - there were only around 40 warships, along with 90 transports caryying 19,000 soldiers and a lot of big siege artillery.

The English navy had around 34 warships, and on average the English ships were faster and had more guns. Also there were around 170 smaller supporting ships(though there were never more than a 100 in one place and at one time), far more effective than the Spanish transports since they were not overloaded.

Also the Spanish commanders did not believe they could succeed, so after the Battle of the Gravelines, even though they had 115 ships left - the majority of the fleet - instead of going back to Flanders to pick up the Spanish army, they chickened out and ran for home (and instead ran into storms off Ireland and Scotland, loosing 40 more ships).

If they had gone back, they would probably have succeeded since the English navy had run out of ammunition. But luckily for England, the Spaniards decided to run.
 
Originally posted by Barkdreg

Seeing that they will not be rescued by their allies the Portugese accept our proposal of becoming part of Granada. May 1522 is a good month for our small state. We release the messanger we captured three years ago.

Good AAR. But I can't believe that you released this unlucky messenger. I think you throwed overboard of a warship travelling to your new colonies.