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Thread: Barkdreg's Granada AAR: ignore at own peril

  1. #1
    Kaplander Barkdreg's Avatar
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    Barkdreg's Granada AAR: ignore at own peril

    If I can fit it in my busy life I'll start an AAR as Granada
    with the following options/dificulty

    free ireland
    free bretagne
    austrian-spanish lowlands
    CoT in Anglia
    tax normal
    and difficulty/agressiveness: normal-normal

    I won't cheat except:
    Council of Sheiks all stats 7
    and Granada in orthodox tech group
    this represents the large number of christians in the country,
    the advanced culture and because I want too

    It won't be a role-play AAR because I just play way to much and don't want to wait until somebody writes a story/makes a suggestion of how to play

    all hints are welcome and if someone really wants to write a little story, then who am I to stop him?
    The Japanese AARe HIP!
    the latest bAARkdreg production, starring the mighty Japanese in the Historical Improvement Project.
    Ended due to savegame failure.

  2. #2
    Protector of Paradise
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    Now this will be interesting. Can't wait to read about the chaos and mayhem you cause against Spain.
    For I have dined on honeydew , And drunk the milk of paradise.

  3. #3
    The Father of AARland Lord Durham's Avatar
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    God! This should be deadly!
    Bring it on bud!
    Current AAR: The Sons of Ragnar Lodbrok: In the Shadow of the Great Old Ones

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  4. #4
    not a beta for HoI3 Moderator Derek Pullem's Avatar
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    Granada tech group

    Interesting thought about the tech group - if Granada did survive into the renaissance might it not be a leader in science etc. The close proximity to the European cultures and the history of (superior) education systems and science might even justify including it in the latin group

    Derek

  5. #5
    Admiral of the Kings Fleet Warspite's Avatar
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    you will have one leg tied behind your back while trying to run im affraid from the start with granada, but this game has a way of giving the player that extra push, (just dont fall on your face )

    Look forward to your aar, interesting challenge
    What a Game!

  6. #6
    General Forster's Avatar
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    Hey, form all the descriptions of Barkdreg in all the other aars, aren't his fingers TOO big to use a key board?

  7. #7
    Protector of Paradise
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    good one Forster

    LMAO!!!
    For I have dined on honeydew , And drunk the milk of paradise.

  8. #8
    Drunken Gamer King Of Nines's Avatar
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    and Granada in orthodox tech group
    this is probably not ahistorical, given as you said the large numbers of catholics, and also jews. remember that they were not expelled from spain until AFTER the reconquista. so grenada as orthodox tech is probably more historically accurate.

    anyway, this will be an interesting aar, to say the least. i started a few games as grenada, just messing around, and i got bitch-slapped by spain every time. so for me, and for everyone else here, take down those evil spaniards!!!

  9. #9
    bAAR Landowner Rictus's Avatar
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    Are you sure about leaving something like this to Barkdreg? Think of all the bloodshed! All those widows!! And the fact that Barkdreg wold want to get personally involed in the wars...
    Check out the The Alien Online

  10. #10
    Major Lionheart's Avatar

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    Jan 1492

    17000 troops stationed in Sierra Nevada to cover against potential Spanish aggression. A lone Dutch mercenary moves on Andalusia and captures the city within a month. Unfortunately, he has inadvertently wiped out the entire population of Seville. We will send a colonist once he has left the province.

  11. #11
    Aerandir Eärfalas Vulture's Avatar
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    Lol.... you've got too much imagination my friend
    Omnia si perdis, famam servare memento
    Semper prorsum numquam retrorsum


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  12. #12
    Aerandir Eärfalas Vulture's Avatar
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    AND YIPPIE MY 300th POST !
    lol
    Omnia si perdis, famam servare memento
    Semper prorsum numquam retrorsum


    More spam, you die! Horribly, horribly!

  13. #13
    Kaplander Barkdreg's Avatar
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    First war of survival

    Our country is in grave danger, the Spanish heaten has declared war on January the first of 1492. We have fallen from Allah grace, once we possesed the Iberian and now we posses only the rocky Sierra Nevada. Even this possesion is in danger, a Spanish force, allmost three times the size of ours is marching to our capital. But we shall not surender!
    Our meagre cavalry forces, 2000 men all destined for the eternal paradise, fight small skirmishes
    with the Spanish vanguard before retreating and moving to another province.All the while our brave infantry, 15.000 heroes, is besieging Andalusia, and are reinforced by a force
    of 7.000 armed citizens who answered the call to battle.

    17 may 1492

    The smelly English have declared war on the even smellier Scots. The Milanese, who smell of garlic, honour the allience but the cowardly Spanish dishonour the allience. They are having to much trouble fighting us!

    22 june 1492

    Praise Allah! The French, seeing that Spain has no allies declare war on the Spanish Empire! Their allience contains the Papal states, Savoy and Brittany. We thank the French king and send him an nicely illustrated copy of the Koran. All Spanish troops march away to France and defeat. The timing couldn't be better for all our cavalry had allready died and the Spaniards were besieging our capital.

    18 may 1493

    Today is a historical day, after 16 months of siege we have captured Andalusia! Our troops rejoice and start marching for Castillia.

    23 june 1493

    A messenger has reached me wth dire news, a Spanish force appeared out of nowhere and captured the city of Granada in only one assault. Upon hearing the news all 22.000 men in our army weep and start the long march to the Sierra Nevada.

    january 1494

    We have discovered the art of artillery, wonderfull. Now we just need to have a province that is free so that we can build some.

    A delegation of our finest artisans has reached my mansion, I will ask them what they want.

    The filthy dogs, they demanded we surrendered to the Spanish, so that they can practice their arts without disturbance. I had them quartered, sadly this resulted in a lowering of our research into infrastructure.

    15 may 1494

    We have recaptured Granada! For the last time in history Spanish soldiers have seen the mighty Alahambra and the Alcazar. The heatens don't agree with this state of affairs and attack our troops.
    With allmost no losses we reduce their number from 11.000 to 2.000. Another victory for the followers of the true profhet.

    Our troops march to Castillia but are met by Spanish forces in Andalusia. We slaugther them and leave no survivors.

    november 1494

    7.000 recruits marching to Castillia are ambushed in Estramaduros, only 2500 manage to escape to Castilllia.

    february 1495

    We enter an allience with Algiers and the Hafsid. Both our Sunni brother swear to help us in any future war we fight.

    20 june 1495

    We have captured Madrid, our proud troops plunder the city and bring back maps of small group isles to the West. These must be the mythical lands of Chipangu.

    20 july 1495

    We are victorious! The Spaniard has agreed to cede Andalusia and their treasury to Granada. Everywhere in Andalusia and Sierra Nevada loyal muslims kneel and thank Allah.
    We have won the first war of survival. Now we have to prepare for when Spain tries to avenge it's loss. Wich I am sure it shall try.


    That's all folks! Next update this evening.
    I like to thank my mother, my coach and all my loyal fans who posted on this thread.
    Thank you all!

    PS: for those wondering, Granada is the onliest major power so I can annex Spain

    Derrek Pullem and King of Nines: thanks guys, I knew somebody would agree with me
    Forster:my fingers are to big to type, so I use my tongue
    The Japanese AARe HIP!
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    Ended due to savegame failure.

  14. #14
    Kaplander Barkdreg's Avatar
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    After a long and costly war we are about to rebuild our economy. We send diplomats to the Turkish and Omani courts with our newly conquered maps. Both agree to trade discoveries with us and reveal us the coastline of Africa and the city of Zanzibar. In the newly revealed area there seems to be a nation of foul-smelling black-skinned men calling theirselves Ethiopians. We send them Mustaffa
    al-Benin as ambassador, the court celebrates when Mustaffa leaves. He is not liked. Everybody is amazed when the incompetent fool managed to trade maps with the Ethiopian king revealing a part off eastern Africa and a region inhabited by fierce Sunni desertdwellers called the Somali.

    In march 1496 another blow is struck to the ugly Spaniard, they have to give the provinces of Luxembourg and Franche Comte to the French king. No doubt there will be much joy amongst these barbarians and large amounts of alcohol will be drunk, the fools. I for one can see no joy in being placed under the 'benevolent' rule of the frog eaters. Allthough it probably is better then being ruled by the Spanish heatens. When this treaty is signed there is not a single war in the known world.
    A sad fact I think, I rather like the idea of the heatens killing each other.

    Time slowly passes and a fleet of 2 mighty transports is build in Andalusia, oh what a day it will be when they beat the rather large Spanish fleet. I really don't understand why our beloved monarch
    wastes our money on these useless collections of wood.

    September sees Nubia enter the Turkish and Aden allience. Why the Turks choose these underdeveloped allies I don't know but I don't care, the more of the Mammeluks they don't capture
    we will be able to grab in the future.

    In november our amazingly smart monarch decides to upgrade the fortress in Andalusia, it's nice to know he does other thing with his money then building ships that can't defend themselves.
    But who am I to complain? The fortress will be usefull when the Spaanish attack again.

    When the new year starts our treasury recieves the grand amount of 25 ducats. The king is outrgaded, he wants to know how he can build an army with so little money. Well, he could have saved 40 ducats if he haadn't built these ramshackle ships. To please his highness I contact one of the jewish bankers in Sevilla, he agrees to give us a loan of 200 ducats. The money is spent on promoting tax collectors.
    I estimate this will increase our income to 28 ducats a year. The remaing money is spent on 20 pieces of artillery and some infantry.

    In march 1497 we recieve messsages that the vodka swilling Poles have declared war on the Teutonic Order and their ally Prussia. The French, Savoy , Helvetia and the fool that calls himsself the Pope honour the allience they have with Poland. I say let them figth, a weakened Poland will be a good prey for our Turkish brothers and will keep them from annexing the Mammeluks. Offcourse christians would not be christians if this situation did not see it's fair part of backstabbing, seeing the dire predicament the Teutonic Order is in the Swedes deccide to take a piece of the loot and join the war. Probaably their viking nature that rears it's ugly head.
    The Teutons are surely doomed, but that's what they said about us too.

    In september the ugly pig-eating russians declare war on the Golden Horde and Astrakahan, nothing that concerns us but I think it is sad that the Crimean muslims join the war on the Russian side.

    A new year starts and slowly passes, news reaches us from cities captured in and recaptured in the Baltic and the Steppes. I don't care and nor does the King.
    In october the Crimeans remember that they should not be attacking fellow muslims and sign a white peace with the Golden Horde.

    The 19the of december shall be a day I'll fondly remember, a messenger from the Spanish Court has arrived. With him he had a copy of some decree the Pope had written. It was called the treaty of Tordessilas and devided the world between the Spanish and the Portugese. Never have I laughed this long, that was reaally funny, like we care about what the Pope says. I was laughing so hard I even forgot to have the messenger executed.

    January 1499 saw Loraine become a vassal of the Austrians, I don't know why a country would want to be the vassaal of swine-eating beer-swallowing barbarians. Oh, I forgot. They probably have the same dissgusting habits.

    In february Poland paid 243 ducats to the Teutons for peace.
    I wonder if the Teutons would also have the same kind of monarch we have?

    In june the Golden horde made a status quo peace with the Russians, if we had known where they live we would have congratulated them.

    August saw the start of another war between England and Scotland, good let those funny smelling men kill each other. the English were joined by the Milanese, the Irish and the Navarrese.

    And so ended another year without anything interesting.
    The Japanese AARe HIP!
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    Ended due to savegame failure.

  15. #15
    How do you figure out that the tax collector will get you an extra 28D per year?
    Those who fear the future should consider. There is but one way to refuse tomorrow.

  16. #16
    bAAR Landowner Rictus's Avatar
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    I was laughing so hard I even forgot to have the messenger executed
    Thats the Barkdreg we all know and love. Well, know anyway. And except about the bit where he 'forgets' to have him executed. The Dutch pyschopath featured elsewhere would have had 300 spanish slaves killed for their former kings foolishness.
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  17. #17
    The Father of AARland Lord Durham's Avatar
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    Forster:my fingers are to big to type, so I use my tongue
    If you use your tongue to type I'd hate to think what you use for the shift key
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  18. #18
    Kaplander Barkdreg's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Coeur de Lion
    How do you figure out that the tax collector will get you an extra 28D per year?
    That was the income I had when the tax collectors were completed,
    it was just for fun that I wrote this.

    And I did not get an extra 28, oh boy I wish I did.
    My income went from 25 to 28.
    The Japanese AARe HIP!
    the latest bAARkdreg production, starring the mighty Japanese in the Historical Improvement Project.
    Ended due to savegame failure.

  19. #19
    Looooooooove Leeeeeeeeetters celedhring's Avatar
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    This AAR is incredibly funny! Go Grenada go!
    El himno del Barça es para el fútbol lo que el Satisfaction de los Rolling Stones para el Rock'n'roll
    -Andrés Montes-

    Member of the starting XI that won the Paradox World Cup for Spain
    Presidente de la Federación Paradoxiana de Fútbol Español
    Ganador del Tour de Francia como jefe de filas del Euskaltel

  20. #20
    Drunken Gamer King Of Nines's Avatar
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    go grenada!

    barkdreg,

    way to go, man! kick those spaniards back into the stone age! good to see someone doing well with granada. the kingdom of al-andalus shall rise again!

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