Collage of CAARdinals: An interactive history of the Papal States
- Thread starter LlywelynII
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NESCIO QVID DICAS SED ANTIQVIS TEMPORIBVS NATI TIBI SIMILES IN RVPIBVS VENTOSISSIMVS EXPONEBANTVR AD NECEMLlywelyn said:
“Having done these things, they made the sacrifices prescribed by custom lest they be found lacking in filial piety.”
Emperor Ike said:It seems that everybody has gone CRAZYYYYY!!!
Don't worry, mate. I'm here.
Teskubia the Torchbearer said:
Accurate translations!
Kurtled milk said:
I know. The first thing I wondered when I saw what Murmy had written was that he'd hired you as a ghost writer. But then, it's Judas who's the ghost...
After wading through 4-5 pages of posts to catch up, I have come to a couple of conclusions.
canonized really enjoys his catholicism, a good thing. Also, short and sweet is not in his vocabulary. If canonized ever says "to make a long story short", the response is "too late".
And that Llywelyn and Murmurandus are actually an old, married couple who have merely taken there snipping ways to this forum as a means of adding spice to their stale old marrige. I actually followed Murmy's link to another thread to see who spam's the most. And for your info it was a tie. But, actually, some really funny sh*t. :rofl:
Murmurandus should not be allowed to write about serious popes. Oh, wait, he didn't.
p.s. There was one other observation I wanted to make. Lly, your description of the church in Beijing was an amazingly poignant account of your experience. As another poster said, if that was lousy, I wonder what your best would be, or some such.
canonized really enjoys his catholicism, a good thing.
Also, short and sweet is not in his vocabulary. If canonized ever says "to make a long story short", the response is "too late". And that Llywelyn and Murmurandus are actually an old, married couple who have merely taken there snipping ways to this forum as a means of adding spice to their stale old marrige. I actually followed Murmy's link to another thread to see who spam's the most. And for your info it was a tie. But, actually, some really funny sh*t. :rofl:
Murmurandus should not be allowed to write about serious popes. Oh, wait, he didn't.
p.s. There was one other observation I wanted to make. Lly, your description of the church in Beijing was an amazingly poignant account of your experience. As another poster said, if that was lousy, I wonder what your best would be, or some such.
Pish Posh ! I'm just brimming with things to say that's all ! So much to do so little time ! And Lly and Murmy together ? I think even Massachussetts would make that illegal .
grayghost said:After wading through 4-5 pages of posts to catch up, I have come to a couple of conclusions.
canonized really enjoys his catholicism, a good thing.
And that Llywelyn and Murmurandus are actually an old, married couple who have merely taken there snipping ways to this forum as a means of adding spice to their stale old marrige. I actually followed Murmy's link to another thread to see who spam's the most. And for your info it was a tie. But, actually, some really funny sh*t. :rofl:
Murmurandus should not be allowed to write about serious popes. Oh, wait, he didn't.
p.s. There was one other observation I wanted to make. Lly, your description of the church in Beijing was an amazingly poignant account of your experience. As another poster said, if that was lousy, I wonder what your best would be, or some such.
May I refer to the following Latin Quote:
Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant!
May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy!
...
Disclaimer: this story is getting even worse. Don't tell that I didn't warn you...
**********************************************************
A short History of the Life of Pope Murmurandus I the Pathetic – Part IV.
We left Whisper and Llywelyn in the penultimate example of an ordinary bar brawl in the cold and dark Scottish lands, where even the Giants are wearing skirts.
After managing by his genial distraction getting Llywelyn in a gigantic mess, Whisper sneaked out leaving his companion to handle everything by himself. Enjoying his victory Whisper sat under a tree drinking from a stolen beer. Contemplating about his next move he fell asleep as his meager brains couldn’t cope.
He was rudely awaken by a thundering voice:
- “WAKE UP, YOU IDIOT!”, it shooted.
- “Wha, wha, what??”, stuttered Whisper.
- “Meet your destiny, twit!”, said the voice just slightly less loud.
- “…”
- “I am your maker and you are my slave! I decide your future and it looks quite bleak.”
- “Are you God?”, murmured Whisper.
- “No, I am not, nitwit! I am the Gray Ghost who can squash you like the flea you are!”
- “Pleased to meet you, Sire, Lord, Master, …”, whispered Whisper.
- “Oh, drop the politeness, scum! Be prepared to carry the consequences of your deeds!”
- “Could you come to the point, oh Great Voice?”
- “Don’t mock with me, brainless sheep!”
- “…”
- “Oh, critters, you’re even too stupid to be afraid, aren’t you?”
- “Me, I, I don’t know, I …”
- “That was a rhetoric question… Anyway, I am here to tell you your future, which will come to an untimely end if you don’t watch your ba…”
- “Hey, Whisper, who are you talking to?”
- “Huh? Llew, Llyl, Llywelyn, is that you?”
- “Yes, it’s me, despite your worthless efforts to get rid of me.”
- “Oh… Glad to see you made it…”
- “Yeah, right, let’s get ourselves on track again, shall we?”
- “Fine.”
As you have noticed, dear Reader, this is a transcription of a conversation Murmurandus told me about without shame. I do agree with you it poorly written as it has been poorly told but it does reflect the utter stupidity of the object of this history.
A history which apparently drags on as I have time to spare and I’m not willing to engage in other duties, which might be more demanding than this.
I do have noticed that the story is going downhill since the appearance of the first word on this paper, so I’ll try to improve. This might be impossible however given said subject.
In either case next part will tell about Cardinal Blackadder and his genial, but unlucky aid, Baldrick, who both came to an agonizing end by the doings of Whisper and Llywelyn.
**********************************************************
A short History of the Life of Pope Murmurandus I the Pathetic – Part IV.
We left Whisper and Llywelyn in the penultimate example of an ordinary bar brawl in the cold and dark Scottish lands, where even the Giants are wearing skirts.
Giants wearing skirts
After managing by his genial distraction getting Llywelyn in a gigantic mess, Whisper sneaked out leaving his companion to handle everything by himself. Enjoying his victory Whisper sat under a tree drinking from a stolen beer. Contemplating about his next move he fell asleep as his meager brains couldn’t cope.
The tree
He was rudely awaken by a thundering voice:
- “WAKE UP, YOU IDIOT!”, it shooted.
- “Wha, wha, what??”, stuttered Whisper.
- “Meet your destiny, twit!”, said the voice just slightly less loud.
- “…”
- “I am your maker and you are my slave! I decide your future and it looks quite bleak.”
- “Are you God?”, murmured Whisper.
- “No, I am not, nitwit! I am the Gray Ghost who can squash you like the flea you are!”
- “Pleased to meet you, Sire, Lord, Master, …”, whispered Whisper.
- “Oh, drop the politeness, scum! Be prepared to carry the consequences of your deeds!”
- “Could you come to the point, oh Great Voice?”
- “Don’t mock with me, brainless sheep!”
- “…”
- “Oh, critters, you’re even too stupid to be afraid, aren’t you?”
- “Me, I, I don’t know, I …”
- “That was a rhetoric question… Anyway, I am here to tell you your future, which will come to an untimely end if you don’t watch your ba…”
- “Hey, Whisper, who are you talking to?”
- “Huh? Llew, Llyl, Llywelyn, is that you?”
- “Yes, it’s me, despite your worthless efforts to get rid of me.”
- “Oh… Glad to see you made it…”
- “Yeah, right, let’s get ourselves on track again, shall we?”
- “Fine.”
The Gray Ghost and his four Brothers (not mentioned in this story)
As you have noticed, dear Reader, this is a transcription of a conversation Murmurandus told me about without shame. I do agree with you it poorly written as it has been poorly told but it does reflect the utter stupidity of the object of this history.
A history which apparently drags on as I have time to spare and I’m not willing to engage in other duties, which might be more demanding than this.
I do have noticed that the story is going downhill since the appearance of the first word on this paper, so I’ll try to improve. This might be impossible however given said subject.
In either case next part will tell about Cardinal Blackadder and his genial, but unlucky aid, Baldrick, who both came to an agonizing end by the doings of Whisper and Llywelyn.
Baldrick
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Ah yes, I was wondering if you were going to spew some more bile over us. It's horrible as always...
Anyway I'm generally curious what this 'gray ghost' wanted to tell Whisper. And will Blackadder and Baldrick seriously meet their match in those two?
Anyway I'm generally curious what this 'gray ghost' wanted to tell Whisper. And will Blackadder and Baldrick seriously meet their match in those two?
Feedback...
@Emperor Ike: yes, everybody is crazy (well at least Llywelyn and I are), how come it took so long for you to recognize?
@Tskb18: Practice your Latin translations, young padawan.
@ Kurt Steiner: Back to the asylum!
@ bowl of soup: Wonder no more, all will be revealed soon. And I can assure you, you will not be surprised...
@ RGB: Wrooooooooooooooooooong!
@ JimboIX: No, none whatsoever...
@ Llywelyn: Indeed...
@Emperor Ike: yes, everybody is crazy (well at least Llywelyn and I are), how come it took so long for you to recognize?
@Tskb18: Practice your Latin translations, young padawan.
@ Kurt Steiner: Back to the asylum!
@ bowl of soup: Wonder no more, all will be revealed soon. And I can assure you, you will not be surprised...
@ RGB: Wrooooooooooooooooooong!
@ JimboIX: No, none whatsoever...
@ Llywelyn: Indeed...
And now for post #3000: a load of cr*p...
Please note the Blackadder quotes included...
**********************************************************
A short History of the Life of Pope Murmurandus I the Pathetic – Part V.
So, in a probably unsuccessful effort to improve this telling, I hereby try to explained what really happened with Cardinal Blackadder and his genial, albeit unlucky servant, Baldrick due to the efforts of the Diabolic Duo.
It all happened one cold winter evening when Whisper, Llywelyn, Baldrick and Cardinal Blackadder were having a meeting on the ‘Big Pope Scheme’, as they called it. Baldrick and the Cardinal tried to develop cunning plans so cunning that even God would need help explaining them. Of course both Whisper and Llywelyn had nothing to do with that and they were playing dice while drinking rivers of beer. They would just be the executioners of the final cunning plan.
Unfortunately Whisper was losing enormous amounts of money to Llywelyn as Llywelyn was cheating. Indeed Whisper was cheating too, but Llywelyn was slightly better in it. So when Llywelyn won just another round Whisper exploded in rage.
- “Goddammit! Llewewellynle, you cheat!”
- “But so do you!”
- “But you do it more obviously!”
- “No, better!
- “But, but, but, …”
- “I have a catapult. Now give me all the money or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.”
- “Say what???”
- “Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.”
- “Oh, ok.”
Cardinal Blackadder and Baldrick get distracted from their cunningly planning.
- “Gentlemen, would you please be so kind to lower your voice, or even better, shut up?”, asked Baldrick.
- “Baldrick, their brain is like the four headed, man-eating haddock fish beast of Aberdeen”
- “In what way?”
- “It doesn’t exist.”
- “In that case, monseigneur, why do we work with them?”
- “Excellent question, Baldrick, excellent question.”
- “Let me try to explain, Baldrick. You are probably aware of my ambitions in my clerical carrier? So I imagine you also are aware of the difficulties in achieving the highest goal within one’s lifetime. In that case you’d understand the necessity of employing villains like Whisper and Llywelyn.”
- “Right, I understand why you employed Whisper, but Llywelyn?”
- “Have you ever been to Wales, Baldrick?”
- “No, but I've often thought I'd like to.”
- “Well don't, it's a ghastly place. Huge gangs of tough sinewy men roam the valleys terrifying people with their close harmony singing. You need half a pint of phlegm in your throat just to pronounce the place-names. Never ask for directions in Wales, Baldrick, you'll be washing spit out of your hair for a fortnight.”
- “Hey, I heard that!”, yelled Llywelyn.
- “And so did I!”, joined Whisper.
- “Please, men, don’t shout at the Cardinal!”, ordered Baldrick.
- “Why you little…”, both screamed Whisper and Llywelyn.
They both rushed to the terrified Baldrick. It seems that at that point versions of the story differ, but find enclosed the least improbable one.
As Whisper and Llywelyn were playing dice when the fight started, Llywelyn was still holding the dices. It seems he threw them in a mad rage at Baldrick and one of the dice struck him on his nose, causing his nose-bone to puncture his brains and his untimely death.
- “You’re mad. You’re mad. You’re madder than Mad Jack MacMad, the winner of last year’s Madman competition.”, murmured Blackadder.
- “What did you say? What did you say?!”, yelled Whisper.
- “Nothing, nothing, but My mother told me to stand up to homicidal maniacs.”
That drove both men insanely mad. They jumped on the defenseless Cardinal and choked him with his silly hat, excuse my French.
And that seems to be the story of what really happened with Cardinal Blackadder and Baldrick. I dare not tell the other versions. I hope that when I die I don’t end up in hell…
Please note the Blackadder quotes included...
**********************************************************
A short History of the Life of Pope Murmurandus I the Pathetic – Part V.
So, in a probably unsuccessful effort to improve this telling, I hereby try to explained what really happened with Cardinal Blackadder and his genial, albeit unlucky servant, Baldrick due to the efforts of the Diabolic Duo.
Blackadder and Baldrick in better times
It all happened one cold winter evening when Whisper, Llywelyn, Baldrick and Cardinal Blackadder were having a meeting on the ‘Big Pope Scheme’, as they called it. Baldrick and the Cardinal tried to develop cunning plans so cunning that even God would need help explaining them. Of course both Whisper and Llywelyn had nothing to do with that and they were playing dice while drinking rivers of beer. They would just be the executioners of the final cunning plan.
Rejected cunning plan
Unfortunately Whisper was losing enormous amounts of money to Llywelyn as Llywelyn was cheating. Indeed Whisper was cheating too, but Llywelyn was slightly better in it. So when Llywelyn won just another round Whisper exploded in rage.
- “Goddammit! Llewewellynle, you cheat!”
- “But so do you!”
- “But you do it more obviously!”
- “No, better!
- “But, but, but, …”
- “I have a catapult. Now give me all the money or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.”
- “Say what???”
- “Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.”
- “Oh, ok.”
The dice
The catapult
The catapult
Cardinal Blackadder and Baldrick get distracted from their cunningly planning.
- “Gentlemen, would you please be so kind to lower your voice, or even better, shut up?”, asked Baldrick.
- “Baldrick, their brain is like the four headed, man-eating haddock fish beast of Aberdeen”
- “In what way?”
- “It doesn’t exist.”
- “In that case, monseigneur, why do we work with them?”
- “Excellent question, Baldrick, excellent question.”
- “Let me try to explain, Baldrick. You are probably aware of my ambitions in my clerical carrier? So I imagine you also are aware of the difficulties in achieving the highest goal within one’s lifetime. In that case you’d understand the necessity of employing villains like Whisper and Llywelyn.”
- “Right, I understand why you employed Whisper, but Llywelyn?”
- “Have you ever been to Wales, Baldrick?”
- “No, but I've often thought I'd like to.”
- “Well don't, it's a ghastly place. Huge gangs of tough sinewy men roam the valleys terrifying people with their close harmony singing. You need half a pint of phlegm in your throat just to pronounce the place-names. Never ask for directions in Wales, Baldrick, you'll be washing spit out of your hair for a fortnight.”
- “Hey, I heard that!”, yelled Llywelyn.
- “And so did I!”, joined Whisper.
- “Please, men, don’t shout at the Cardinal!”, ordered Baldrick.
- “Why you little…”, both screamed Whisper and Llywelyn.
On Welsh names
They both rushed to the terrified Baldrick. It seems that at that point versions of the story differ, but find enclosed the least improbable one.
As Whisper and Llywelyn were playing dice when the fight started, Llywelyn was still holding the dices. It seems he threw them in a mad rage at Baldrick and one of the dice struck him on his nose, causing his nose-bone to puncture his brains and his untimely death.
Baldrick R.I.P.
- “You’re mad. You’re mad. You’re madder than Mad Jack MacMad, the winner of last year’s Madman competition.”, murmured Blackadder.
- “What did you say? What did you say?!”, yelled Whisper.
- “Nothing, nothing, but My mother told me to stand up to homicidal maniacs.”
That drove both men insanely mad. They jumped on the defenseless Cardinal and choked him with his silly hat, excuse my French.
Blackadder with silly hat (not to mention Baldrick with silly hat)
And that seems to be the story of what really happened with Cardinal Blackadder and Baldrick. I dare not tell the other versions. I hope that when I die I don’t end up in hell…
Oh the horror! now he has 3000+ posts, whatever avatar will he torment us with now!?
Also very helpful of you to point out what dice and a catapult are... But I must ask where did Lly keep his catapult and why not use that instead of the dice. I'm sure it's much more effective than dice (though they did their job against all odds).
Also very helpful of you to point out what dice and a catapult are... But I must ask where did Lly keep his catapult and why not use that instead of the dice. I'm sure it's much more effective than dice (though they did their job against all odds).
I actually only have 3 brothers, but who's counting. The picture though does us justice. Just put your mouth right here, and with a little tug and set I shall lead you on a merry chase around the forums before I reel you in. Ah, but alas, the Murmy fish is too small. Through him back.
bowl of soup said:
I'm in a good mood, I'm replying immediately...
Avatar:
Dice & catapult: you made the pun yourself (dice - against all odds)...
Murmurandus said:I'm in a good mood, I'm replying immediately...
Avatar:
Dice & catapult: you made the pun yourself (dice - against all odds)...
Nice Avatar , Murmy ! And an interesting post ... to say the least o.o ...
canonized said:
I know...
canonized said:
To say the least indeed... Couldn't you come up with a better comment?
garyghost said:
3 or 4, that's irrelevant.
My fish is too small? Hah, and you're hung like a baby carrot and a couple of petits pois...
(to quote from Blackadder again... )
Murmurandus said:To say the least indeed... Couldn't you come up with a better comment?
Maybe if you came up with a better -- well no that would just be mean har har XD Flowers ; will that do ?