Going FAARther

"Rise and shine, Mr. dinofs."

"Huh? Where am I?"

"Rise and shine."

"That... doesn't really answer my question."
"Not to imply that you have been sleeping on the job. No one is more deserving of a rest."

"Then why did you wake me?"

"All the effort in the world would have gone to waste, unless, well..."
"Well what? Is the pause really that necessary?"

"Let's just say your hour has come again."

"That makes no sense at all. What are you trying to say?"

"The right man in the wrong place, can make all the difference in the world."

"But... but if he's in the wrong place, how can he-"

"So, wake up, Mr. dinofs. Wake up and, smell the ashes."

"Ooooohhhhh, I get it. It's a monologue!"
...
...
...
"Oh, you're done! I suppose this means I can ask you questions."

"Indeed."

"Alright then. Where am I?"

"..."

"You said you would answer my questions!"

"No, I said you could ask them."

*Sigh* "Alright then, I guess I'll just-"

"You are in the afterlife."

"But you said- Oh, never mind. I have another question then. WHY am I in the afterlife?"

"Oh, just the end of the world."

"WHAT?"

"Y'know, Armageddon, Ragnarok, Judgment Day, whatever you wanna call it."

"Why? What did humanity- and, more importantly, I- do to deserve this?"

"Please lodge all complaints with the main office."

"Alright, where is the main office?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because you might complain."

"But- but I- That's- Aaah!"

"That sounds like a complaint."

"Fine. So what happened to cause this apocalypse?"

"Oooh, apocalypse. That's a good one. I'll add that to the list next time I give this talk."

"Just answer the question."

"The truth is, even I don't really know what's happening. All I can tell is that the universe is tearing apart at the seams."

" 'Is' tearing apart at the seams? But I thought that Earth was already destroyed!"

"The thing is, Earth is on one of those seams."

"Ah. I don't get it."

"Earth has literally fallen out of the universe."

"Oh. That is bad."

"That is very bad. And what's worse is that the very souls of all those who were on planet Earth were destroyed along with it."

"Wait... then why am I here?"

"You're here because we managed to save you at the last minute."

"Why me?"

"Well, to be honest, we need your help."

"Help... to bring back the Earth?"

"No, I'm afraid that that's impossible. What you can do, however, is return it to a previous state."

"How?"

"I believe that it may be possible to use your memory to save a copy of Earth as it was in 1463. To do this, we will of course have to destroy the entire universe."

"Ah, that sounds- Wait, WHAT?!?"

"Oh come on. The only way to fix the universe is to rebuild it. And we can't exactly rebuild it when this one is still there."

"And the new universe won't be destroyed?"

"Definitely probably not! Now, off you go!"

"Wait, where am I-"

dinofs' last words were cut off as he was shoved straight into the empty hole in the universe.

"Goodbye, my friend! And seriously, would it kill you to press the shift key once in a while?"
-----------------
Based on real life events. My EU3 game has completely stopped working. I will have to reinstall it. I don't know if you'll ever see (the spirit of) dinofs again. If this is the end, I'd just like to thank each and every one of you for your sincere, thoughtful, and helpful comments. The people who commented here, even just to leave a single vote or a few words of encouragement, are what made this AAR worth writing.

Thank you all.

(BTW, I will write another update whether dinofs succeeds or not, just to explain what happened and, if he fails, to tie up some loose plot points.)

balkanite said:

I hope dinofs suceeds!

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You and me both...

King_Richard_XI said:

Any chance of finding the savegame and preserving it?

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I'm trying my best, but at this point it seems like the save games may have been corrupted along with the game.

After waiting for over two days, and with no sign of dinofs, the Council of the Gods decided to give up.

"So... I suppose that it's over? We're all doomed, aren't we?"

"Sigh. I suppose you're right."

"Y'know what this needs, Confused One?"

"What?"

"A good ol' musical number."

"What?"

"The song? It's called La Damnation de Faust. By Hector Berlioz."

"I'm so confused!"

"Well, you ARE theconfusedone..."

"RGB, theconfusedone, enough! It's bad enough that we're going to die, don't spoil it with your bickering."

"Yes Kapt..."

"My question is, what will happen to Mississipi?"

"Um, JDMS, the entire world was already destroyed."

"Oh. Damn." JDMS vanished in a puff of smoke.

"Hey, why did he disappear? I mean, we ALL come from somewhere on Earth."

"Because shut up. Honestly, gabor, that Magna Mundi playing must have done a real number on your head."

"But that doesn't-"

"dsb, you shut up too."

"Daaaw."

"Y'know, this entire conversation has been totally inappropriate for the background music."

"Hmmm, good point. All right Marco, you win. We'll talk about the rapidly approaching destruction of the universe."

"Actually, I'd prefer the old-"

"Too late."

"Soooooo.... CatKnight, what's your opinion on this."

"Can Peperna answer?"

"No."

"Crap."

"You can use a lifeline, though."

"I pass it to morningSIDEr!"

"What? Why? Why me?"

"Because. Now, what's your opinion?"

"Well, it sucks.

Almost as much as being Scottish!"

*crickets*

"Aaaaaw..."

"I'll tell you how I feel."

"CS, go away."

"Aaaaaw..."

"Anyways, I suppose we should get to work on destroying the universe. King_Richard_XI, you're in charge of telling people what they're in charge of."

"Enewald, you're in charge of explosives."

"Eeeexxcccelent."

"Rizulica, you get the fire."

"Sweet."

"And blsteen, you get lightning."

"Neato!"

"And you, Sybot, you'll serve refreshments."

"YES! All shall cower in fear before the power of my... sandwiches. Darn."

"Now, mnplastic, let's get to work."

"BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL!"

"I HAVE THE- wait, what?"

"Sorry, lascupa..."

"I have a question."

"Overruled."

"Wait, what? C'mon aldriq, you can't do that, we're all equals!"

"Fine. And what do you have to say, balkanite?"

"Well, we're gods, right?"

*Gods look themselves over*

"Yeeeeeeessssss."

"Right. So why are we bothering with fire and lightning and refreshments and all that? Why not just blow it all to smithereens?"

"Hey, that's my job!"

"In a way that doesn't involve killing ourselves with explosives."

"Because.. because.. Actually, that's a good point."

"Exactly. Now, on the count of three."

"Here we go..."

"ONE."

"Are you ready?"

"No."

"Me neither."

"TWO."

"Well, this is the end."

"TH- THREE."

"Billions of years of work are about to be ruined..."

"Alas, poor universe, I knew it well."

"NOW."

BOOM.
.....


.....


....

Loading Checksum...

Well, there we go. I'm sorry everyone. It's dead.

There was simply no way to retrieve the save file. It, and consequently this AAR, have ceased to be.

Don't worry though, this won't be the last AAR I'm writing. I've already got a new one planned and ready, though missing the twist. (I'll give you a hint, it involves a mod that I've been testing.)

And who knows, I might be willing to make a do-over someday.

Also, I will be answering any questions about the plot, so if you're curious about, say, the assassination of Christian Due, feel free to ask.



Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the light side of life

axzhang said:

Epic.

Glad to hear you're giving it another shot. Is the mod Magna Mundi by any chance? Come on over to the dark side, you know you want to - we've got pastries.

Click to expand...

No, I'm afraid not. It is, however, based on SRI, so there might be some similarities. (AE being an obvious example.)

King_Richard_XI said:

How come I didn't get any lines?

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You actually had quite a few lines. You were the person telling people what they were in charge of.

I know the format was confusing, so I forgive you for your blatant error.

BootOnFace said:

-universe explodes, enter dinofs-

"what the hell was that?"

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Y'know, I was actually planning for an ending like that. Eventually though I decided against it.