Excerpt from the King's Daily Diary, August 1849
We continue to stumble forward, somehow avoiding a full rupture here in Paris, yet with every movement edging us closer and closer. I have had the great fortune during the course of my reign to have the services of excellent ministers, who in their time, charted the course of France with minimal input from my person on matters I consider procedural to the exercise of government. Alas, the latest crisis has drawn me more and more into consultations with my ministers and what has been done to pacify the angst of France, now and surely in the past, in my name has given me at times, pause.
Now when I look into my mirror I do not see my jovial, old self but that of my dear cousin; a man whose friendship and loyalty I once held dearly. Perhaps he was right about one thing regarding my repeated professions of the liberal and honest nature of humanity in our discussions; humans forget and especially forget those memories contradictory to their beliefs. Hardly a soul remembers 1789 or the Ancien Regime, how sweet those times were. In the cafes they talk of the virtues of Democracy, of America--though most have never stepped on those shores to witness in their own eyes the reality of it--and of 'Reform.' I have even lived long enough to have the indignity of being called a prisoner in my home, a "senile man in need of rescue." What rubbish. It seems more and more clear to me that the children have not heeded the lessons of their fathers and the old falsehoods are again being fashioned anew to persuade the seeker and to seduce the forgetful.
In dwelling upon all these thoughts I have pondered if a change in Head of State would quiet the situation before us. Yet, my sons and my wife have convinced me that I must endure for my grandson. I expected my wife, Joinville, and Aumale to be articulate in their arguments but what surprised me was the decisiveness of my son Nemours. Louis-Charles has always been a boy not inclined to the use of rhetoric, indeed, he is the opposite of my much missed eldest. In many ways the late Dauphin cast a shadow on Louis-Charles and it pained me to watch the ways he chose to escape that self-perceived cage. In truth, Ferdinand-Philippe was always in awe of Nemours' self-assured nature combined with a coolness in times of crisis; talents he regularly displayed in Algeria. Therefore, I should have expected Nemours to argue strongly for the rights of the Dauphin, my grandson, to enjoy childhood without the burdens of state falling upon him that swayed me thus. Such a line of thinking has given me strength to call upon in these days.
Indeed, I ought to take inspiration from my childhood days. Penniless and friendless, I had to fend for myself as the Revolution began to swallow up everything in its path. It is true I enjoyed all the benefits of an aristo that a member of the high born could be had in the Ancien Regime but unlike much of the elite--now and today--I have gone hungry, I have known living on a salary, I have seen the New World, and had the privilege to fulfill my family's ancient ambition, to rule France. As much as I ran away from the traditional intrigues when the time came to land the final blow, I did so with a smile on my face. And much like the intellectuals and academics who now proffer advice on the streets, I thought that my combination of education and life experience could be uniquely employed for the glory of France. There would be no man better suited for the task than I.
How wrong was I in such thoughts. There are no indispensable men.
Those now who desire this bit of velvet, wood, and gilt that I sit upon are making the same mistake which I made all those years ago. And with a smile on their face.
