The Phantom of Pannonia
Greetings, I am High Chief Drong of of Balaton. You may have noticed I wear a mask. Do you have a problem with it? I lost half my face to an axe some years ago. Deal with it.
It doesn't stop me from getting any woman I want, for women find me irresistible. I have four lovers who think I am attractive. Yes, one of them is my sister. What of it?
Here is my wife, Bozena. She is a pleasant-looking woman, fertile, and comes from good stock but she is not enough to satisfy my appetites. In a perfect world I would marry Maturkka but unfortunately our culture is plagued with ignorance and superstition. I hear that some cultures out east are more open-minded, however.
These are my three children. The apple of my eye, Kurt, was poised to follow me as High Chief of Batalon but Tengri did not favor him and he choked on a chicken bone. He would have been a great warrior like his father, but Tengri laughs at the plans of mortals. My second-born, Onegavon, is a worthy heir but I fear my vassals will not choose him to take my place if I pass away before he reaches adulthood. I must not let that happen.
My petty, squabbling kinsmen decide on a different random cousin to succeed me every month but one thing is clear: they do not want my son, at least not yet. If Onegavon does not win the election, however, then Dioclea passes to him but Balaton passes to the elected heir. The whole of Dioclea only consists of two provinces that border the Adriatic and are disconnected from the rest of the kingdom and the result would still be catastrophic for our dynasty. Can't these fools see? I truly hate my family, except for my beautiful sister.
My council is fairly talented, though it could use some reshuffling.
I make Chief Barjik my steward, a position he is better suited to. I then fire Khinialon, who is useless and a heathen to boot, and hire Chief Yaghu as chancellor. I have optimized by council and placated my aggravating cousin-vassals in one stroke.
I leave my one-handed kinslayer brother who despises me as court physician. Perhaps this is not a wise choice but he is skilled with medicine and seeing his deformity makes me feel better about my mask. I hope I do not come to regret this decision.
With my business organized it is time to plan my next move. If I want to gain any real power, I need to get closer to the king. Fortunately the king has need of good plotters like myself. I ask the king to take the spot of spymaster and wait.
I should also ask help from my ancestors. Perhaps they will grant prosperity to my realm.
I could give my ancestors one of my hands but I do not wish to look like my brother. The ancestors will have to be pleased with a sacrifice. I choose Usunbike because she is old and useless. No one will miss her except her foolish daughter.
Sadly the old bat does not understand the great honor being conferred upon such an unworthy specimen such as herself. The business is bloody but pleasing. The ancestors should be satisfied.
Apparently the sacrifice came too late as the foolish king rejected my offer. His Slavic gods must have given him poor advice. I must find other opportunities to expand my glory. I do not have much time left before Tengri takes me and I cannot afford to waste time leading troops for a king who does not appreciate me.
As I look down the Danube I see my answer: Bulgaria. I have a claim on Pannonia but it is too weak for anyone to recognize and even if it was not I would not have enough strength to defeat the king. However, if I could manage to sack the land of the Bulgars and make them my tribute I would gain buckets full of gold, soldiers, and respect. My standing would raise high enough to recruit another army and then who knows what could happen. I summon the tribes and prepare for war.
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