I hope Janos lives for an eternity.
I really love this AAR/story!
The narrative is just so voluptuous!
I really love this AAR/story!
The narrative is just so voluptuous!
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Qorten:
Actually I’m trying to write the story I should’ve written the first time. And the gameplay was made so I could see how different IN was from 1.3. If this AAR proves unsuccessful, this will be my last EU3 project so I won't have to worry about being pigeonholed with Muslim AARs.
On your second note, I don’t want to say exactly how far the story will progress or how many chapters there will be. But I have developed a method for advancing time in the book which will be explained later. There are a few more book to reality rules that have yet to be covered but I didn’t want to bore you with a list of commandments all at once.
Enewald: It’d be kind of hard to have a story without the main character, wouldn’t it? And thanks for the compliment, I can only hope it gets better as it goes on.
To all: I’m aiming for updates every three days but due to time and me trying to work on some of these pics I think my posts may shift between 3 - 4 day updates.
As an aside, head on over to the HOI3 writing competition and vote for your favorite mini AAR (AARs with less than 1500 words.) There are a lot of AARs to vote for so go ahead and do it! But don’t vote for mine, its terrible.
Here are the entries
Here is where you vote
Qorten said:
Actually I’m trying to write the story I should’ve written the first time. And the gameplay was made so I could see how different IN was from 1.3. If this AAR proves unsuccessful, this will be my last EU3 project so I won't have to worry about being pigeonholed with Muslim AARs.
On your second note, I don’t want to say exactly how far the story will progress or how many chapters there will be. But I have developed a method for advancing time in the book which will be explained later. There are a few more book to reality rules that have yet to be covered but I didn’t want to bore you with a list of commandments all at once.
Enewald: It’d be kind of hard to have a story without the main character, wouldn’t it? And thanks for the compliment, I can only hope it gets better as it goes on.
To all: I’m aiming for updates every three days but due to time and me trying to work on some of these pics I think my posts may shift between 3 - 4 day updates.
As an aside, head on over to the HOI3 writing competition and vote for your favorite mini AAR (AARs with less than 1500 words.) There are a lot of AARs to vote for so go ahead and do it! But don’t vote for mine, its terrible.
Here are the entries
Here is where you vote
Well, I wouldn't mind if it were only one update per week. One per three days might even be too quick for me to keep following. One per four or five days would be perfect. But that's just me of course.
I thought you first seduce them, then paint them, not the other way around Still, János seem to be handling the culture shock pretty well.
I think in the end the books linked to parallel worlds, rather than create them, the idea being that there are infinite universes, so anything you can possibly imagine and describe already exists in one of them. The games were mostly about the other-worldly atmosphere and puzzle-solving, but the novels focused more on the moral issues surrounding the power of writing such books.
Oh, and I agree with Qorten regarding update speed, 3 days is a bit too fast for me too...
Still, János seem to be handling the culture shock pretty well.Brandenburg III said:
I think in the end the books linked to parallel worlds, rather than create them, the idea being that there are infinite universes, so anything you can possibly imagine and describe already exists in one of them. The games were mostly about the other-worldly atmosphere and puzzle-solving, but the novels focused more on the moral issues surrounding the power of writing such books.
Oh, and I agree with Qorten regarding update speed, 3 days is a bit too fast for me too...
Qorten said:
aldriq said:
Well that’s good news since it’ll give me more time to polish what I release. The only reason I wanted to put it out every 3 - 4 days was because I thought people liked updates to come fairly fast. When I updated once a week, even before my brief break from it, the USA AAR hardly received any attention. But with this I’ll wait about a week then, putting it out sometime every weekend.
aldriq said:
With events happening so fast, and being thrown into a situation, I didn’t think he’d have enough time to sit and think about his new culture. When we have to act right away without a chance to think on it, we usually don’t think about what’s going on in the next room. Perhaps once he’s had time to settle down, or sit and think on it, things might hit him but for now we can’t really tell.
His head hurt and his body felt cold. If the pain wasn’t carrying him in a cloud of exasperation he could’ve sworn he was dead. Raising a hand to his forehead he peeled open his eyes, pulled back his hand and gasped. Blood was on his hand. Looking up he saw the wall of the basement in front of him. Had he cracked his head open? Did Khayr ad-Din swat at János while reading something in the book? Wiping his hand across his forehead again he saw blood and more blood. János sat up straight, finding light and dizzy.
“Don’t get up,” János heard Khayr ad-Din speak from not too far off. “You ran right into the wall and the last thing I need is for my Reader to cause himself further injury.”
“I ran into the wall?” János spoke, accusing more than questioning. “You hit me while I was under.”
Khayr ad-Din sighed and pulled another handkerchief from his pocket. “That’s your friend’s blood. You weren’t in the book long enough to forget that.” Khayr dropped the handkerchief in János’ lap so he could wipe away the mess on his face. “If I wanted to cause you pain, I’d wait till you were awake. Not in that trance you seemed to be in.
“It seems the movements you act out in the book are carried out here. Have no fear, you will be tied down to that chair the next time you go into the book until I have no use for you.”
“No use for me? What do you mean by that?”
“I mean, maybe you’ll join your friend after the book’s completed. Or, you may not even exist. With the many centuries that have passed, and if you alter history the way I guide you, most of the people in the world won’t exist. At least not the important ones.”
“You say this,” János spoke, “but what makes you so certain you’ll be alive?”
Khayr ad-Din grinned broadly, “Consider it intuition.”
“What if I refuse to read the book?” János challenged.
“Oh, it isn’t a matter of you refusing. You will read it one way or the other. As I said, next time you sit down in that chair you’ll be tied down. All that needs to happen from that point is for me to open the book. By instinct, you will read. After all, you are a Reader.”
“Stop saying that!”
“It’s the truth. Don’t you like hearing the truth? Does it hurt more than when you destroyed your father’s political career by a stupid teenage act?”
János jumped to his feet, ready to fight but found himself dizzied and nearly toppling over. His feet carried him near the wall, his body crashing into it. The wall held him as his feet did their best to do the same, “Don’t you ever talk to me in that way!” János briefly wondered how he knew so much. Khayr ad-Din, or whoever he hired, must’ve gone through intensive research to learn the Takács history.
Khayr smiled as if he knew what János was thinking, “The predator must research the prey so he may catch it.”
János huffed. “And whose the predator?”
“Well, that would be me, wouldn’t it. Considering where you’re standing, you would be the prey. In case you were wondering.”
Jnáos decided to test his luck as he plastered his back flat against the wall, “You must be confused. A predator is one who catches his prey, if that’s what I am. The predators are the people you hired, and killed. In the animal world, you’re nothing more than a scavenger, a picker of bones, a vulture waiting until-“
János stopped speaking. He didn’t see it coming. Khayr ad-Din’s grip was upon János’ throat, tightening with every second. The scent of Khayr’s breath filled János’ nostrils, the smell of dead, rotting fish. “As prey,” Khayr growled, “you see everyone as a predator. And you will give me whatever I need whether it is food, energy or a completed book!”
All at once Khayr let loose his grip and turned his back on János. Slumping to the ground and gasping for his breath in a place filled with mold and congested air, János coughed repeatedly, hacking on a hand that was no longer upon his throat. In between hollow breaths and sounds of pain János heard footsteps walking away and climbing the stairs. Once he gained his composure he sat on the ground and stared at the steps. The next sound was that of chains clanking against one another as the light shining in from the factory lessened. János was going to be trapped in the basement. And in the next instant, the entire area was dark.
When the lights shown again János had already slept and did his best to wipe away the drying blood on his face with the handkerchief Khayr ad-Din had dropped. The raking of the chains shackled him to the corner he was sitting in. And as he saw the first foot step onto the first visible stair, János rose, ready to fight Khayr ad-Din. As far as János was concerned, there was no other option for by the end, he either wouldn’t exist or he’d be killed.
Each step Khayr seemed to take was slow and methodical while János moved soundlessly near the wall, sticking as close to it as possible. His eyes were transfixed on Khayr’s feet. Those shoes of his which shown in the light. And it seemed like he was still wearing a suit. What could be the reason? János thought.
János waited until the bottom stair was reached before he jumped, tackling him to the ground. János felt the weight under him turn as he straddled the man’s stomach, pinning him into the ground. Only after he let loose his first fist and felt it land against the side of the man’s face did János realize the figure under him wasn’t Khayr ad-Din. It reminded him of the driver that transported him to this factory. But János’ anger raged still, and he was angry at the driver for taking him away. János reared another fist and felt it land against the man’s cheek but János didn’t land another.
Behind him János heard the famous click. It had to be Khayr ad-Din’s weapon. The sound was ingrained in János’ brain. He turned his head and stared at Khayr ad-Din standing two steps above the basement. János realized the predicament he was in. He had taken down the wrong man, had a gun pointed at him and faced extinction. But there was nothing to lose.
János stood and lunged himself at Khayr’s feet, hooking his hands around Khayr’s ankles and yanking hard. Khayr’s back hit the uneven stairs as the gun went off. A bullet bit into the ceiling, embedding itself into the aged concrete as Khayr’s body rolled down the stairs. A euphoria kicked János hard enough to send him up the stairs but just like Khayr’s result, János’ feet were tangled in another man’s hands. It was the driver.
János tried kicking, and kicking again but the efforts were useless. The man’s bloodied face grimaced as he held on to János’ violent feet. The driver positioned his feet strongly against the stairs, using them as leverage as he threw János by the feet, over the stairs and onto the basement’s floor. János rolled, feeling the pain of his body slapping against the hard factory floor. The first thing he saw was Khayr’s bloodied face. The next thing he saw was darkness.
After János woke he looked around the best he could with blurred vision. His neck was stiff but he could make out the book placed in front of him, spied the driver to his right and Khayr ad-Din to his left. The driver seemed to suffer no injury while Khayr still had dots of blood on his face, and a crooked nose.
“You’ve been bad,” Khayr began, crossing his arms. “I think instead of allowing you to roam free, we’ll keep you as you are.”
The driver gave a sickly laugh as though offering his approval. János didn’t have a clue as to what Khayr was talking about until he tried wiping at his face to check for blood. But his hand didn’t move. Nor his arms or legs. János was tied to the chair.
“I don’t know why you’re struggling,” Khayr explained. “I thought you were one of those culture junkies. Those people who want to go everywhere and see everything. You’re receiving an adventure few people ever get to experience.”
“You can keep this,” János gritted his teeth. “I don’t know anything about this culture or these people. They’re going to find me out sooner or later.”
“I don’t think so,” Khayr observed. “They’re not going to go against you for as long as you retain power. For them to accuse you would mean death.”
“That’s easier to say when you’re not tied to the chair, taking trips into the book.”
“You’ve only been in there once,” Khayr waived him off like an annoying fly. “I’ve read what you’ve gone through and you haven’t faced anything hard. You’ve probably had more heated discussions with art dealers.”
“The stakes aren’t as high there as they are in that book. If I fail-“
“If you fail,” Khayr interrupted, “you won’t have to worry about them killing you. I’ll do it myself.”
“And you’ve made it perfectly clear.”
“Good. I wouldn’t want you getting confused about why you’re in there. Ready for another trip?” Khayr asked rhetorically, taking a step toward the book.
“Wait!” János spoke urgently. “I’m still tied up!”
“You’re very observant,” Khayr noted, opening the book’s first pages. The driver laughed out loud.
János tried ignoring the extra man as he went on, “If you said I ran into the wall-“
“You did,” Khayr interrupted forcefully. “Don’t try disgracing my integrity.”
János asked, “You have integrity?”
Khayr looked at the driver and before János could follow Khayr’s eyes, János felt a block of knuckles smashing into the side of his face. His stare ended looking at the ground as he tried gathering his senses. The unexpected fist disoriented and confused him as he found Khayr ad-Din.
“Don’t make us do that again,” Khayr warned. “I need you to be aware while you’re working. Now, as you were saying.”
János ran his tongue along his teeth, ensuring they were still there. He followed by moving his jaw around, building confidence that it hadn’t been knocked clear off his head. It took János a few passing moments before he found the strength to begin speaking, “If I’m tied down, how will I move?”
“You’re not supposed to.”
“No,” János shook his head. “What I mean is, if I don’t have free motion here, will I have it there? Or will I be stuck because I’m in this chair? I don’t want to go back but if I have to, I don’t want to be restrained. The people might think something’s wrong or the leader’s enemies might seize the moment to take control.”
“You’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this.”
“This isn’t exactly a place where people go to get their mind off of things.”
“You have a smart mouth,” Khayr spoke with a steady lip. János felt a need to respond with a quick quip but held his tongue.
Khayr began pacing as if in thought while János watched, waiting for an answer. At once Khayr stopped and spoke deliberately, “Are you hungry?”
“What? What does that have to do with it?”
“Answer the question.”
János hadn’t thought about it in a long while but now that he centered his thoughts around food he realized he wasn’t, “No. I’m not hungry.”
“Even though its been more than a day since you’ve eaten you’re not hungry. Don’t you find that odd?”
“I don’t know what kind of pills or shots you’ve given me when I was out. You could’ve done anything to me and I wouldn’t know.”
Khayr sighed. “Are you threatening my integrity again?”
János’ eyes widened as he realized his flaw and backed down instantly, shaking his head.
“The point of that question was so I can give you an answer. What happens within the book will happen here. If you eat there, you’ll be full here but this trick doesn’t work in reverse. If you lose a few fingers or teeth for disobeying me, you’ll find that they’ve returned to you after you arrive in the book. You don’t have to move here in order to move there but that doesn’t mean you won’t go running into the wall. Understand?”
“So I can move after I’m in the book no matter what you do to me,” János explained.
“There is one exception.”
“Which is?”
“If you die here, you’ll die there. Without brain activity your life cannot be supported in the book.”
“That’s reassuring.”
“No,” Khayr said. “That’s reminding. Now. Onto the book.”
“But-,” János stopped himself. “What if I die there?”
Khayr ad-Din smirked. “No one’s been stupid enough to get themselves killed inside one of these books but I can see why you’d be worried. The only answer I can give is that its never happened. Although I must admit, I’m a little curious how it’d play out.”
“Your comments are not helping.”
“What can I say?” Khayr asked rhetorically. “I failed my guidance councilor test. The only other option was to become someone great, someone history will remember.”
“If this works, history will only remember you because of me.”
Khayr ad-Din glared at János. “Remember yourself. You are only a tool. You work because I tell you and you refit where I demand it. You are nothing but my mouthpiece to the past and when I’m through with you, I’ll be sure that you dissolve into nothing but dust, forever forgotten. But if you do things right, you’ll ensure your own extinction.”
“So I’m dead either way,” János said.
“Yes,” Khayr confirmed. “But think of the restrictions you have in Hungary and those that have been in place for decades before. If you like, and if you cause less trouble, feel free to meddle into Eastern European affairs. Maybe you’ll be able to beat back Russia so it doesn’t form the Soviet Union, maybe you’ll be able to keep a free Hungary. Or maybe,” Khayr grinned, “you’ll bring shackles to your homeland that much sooner. Who know the possibilities? No one. Not until history is written. Not until you create it with my guidance.”
“That’s my only choice?”
“Or I could shoot you now and spend time finding another Reader. You’re not the only one out there.”
János let the thoughts tumble in his head. If he must sacrifice his life wouldn’t it be better served by granting freedom? If he could save Hungary, or Eastern Europe as a whole, his life would be given nobly. But there’d be no credit. There would be nothing to say that he had changed history for the better. It’d be a tag Khayr would claim. Did it matter? As long as Hungary? Perhaps the world was better off? He decided he’d have more time to think about it later. There were nights and days that had yet to be created in the book and he was sure there were plenty more nights to be had in the basement.
“Alright,” János spoke. “Open the book.”
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What a fascinating, intriguing method for linking the current day with a game of EU3!
I can't wait to see how Janos leads Algeria to glory, and at the same time outwits his captors!
Continue, full steam ahead!
I can't wait to see how Janos leads Algeria to glory, and at the same time outwits his captors!
Continue, full steam ahead!
Continue I say too!
But Janos speak any language while within the book?
And will he appear always where he last was?
Without interruptions?
But Janos speak any language while within the book?
And will he appear always where he last was?
Without interruptions?
KlavoHunter: I run on gasoline
Enewald: I took it as expected that Janos would be able to read and write whatever’s in the book otherwise I’d have to make the character bilingual. In making him bilingual, it would be assumed that he’d have to know something of the culture and the time and I didn’t want to go that route. Its much easier having an ignorant character than it is having a character whose an expert, especially in an area the author knows little.
While I didn’t mention it I believed most would assume that it’d be like Star Trek/Wars where the creatures can speak and hear in their native languages. It would be like that in the book. I probably should’ve made a mark earlier about Janos being confused that he could speak and hear the words. Then again, in his ignorance, haste, stupidity, etc., he might not have thought of that.
Each time he goes into the book it’s a different period of time. Maybe it’s a few days, months or years. In my previous project I wrote down the dates but I feel as though that’d detract from what I’m writing. As time goes on there will be noticeable changes such as wars, people growing older, etc. This aspect has not been forgotten. And in another chapter or two I spell out just how the book works and how it decides what date and time the Reader appears.
In a roundabout way of saying it, Janos doesn’t slip back into the moment he departed.
Enewald: I took it as expected that Janos would be able to read and write whatever’s in the book otherwise I’d have to make the character bilingual. In making him bilingual, it would be assumed that he’d have to know something of the culture and the time and I didn’t want to go that route. Its much easier having an ignorant character than it is having a character whose an expert, especially in an area the author knows little.
While I didn’t mention it I believed most would assume that it’d be like Star Trek/Wars where the creatures can speak and hear in their native languages. It would be like that in the book. I probably should’ve made a mark earlier about Janos being confused that he could speak and hear the words. Then again, in his ignorance, haste, stupidity, etc., he might not have thought of that.
Each time he goes into the book it’s a different period of time. Maybe it’s a few days, months or years. In my previous project I wrote down the dates but I feel as though that’d detract from what I’m writing. As time goes on there will be noticeable changes such as wars, people growing older, etc. This aspect has not been forgotten. And in another chapter or two I spell out just how the book works and how it decides what date and time the Reader appears.
In a roundabout way of saying it, Janos doesn’t slip back into the moment he departed.
Iwill read this update tomorrow , I'm too sleepy now. I will edit this post accordingly. If I do not, just slap me in the face.
EDIT.
Read it. It captured me. You write really well. At least, for this forum. Usually I don't like reading a lot on a computer screen but I find that the bold text helps with that. Waiting for the next North African episode.
EDIT.
Read it. It captured me. You write really well. At least, for this forum. Usually I don't like reading a lot on a computer screen but I find that the bold text helps with that. Waiting for the next North African episode.
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No qualms about that, if the book can alter the fabric of space/time, surely it can make the reader speak Arabic
I'm more intrigued as to why Khayr can read the book without being dragged into it like János... does he have to be careful to read only written pages, avoiding the blank ones?
I also prefer dates being left out, this is not a history book!
Okay guys... here’s some good news and some bad news.
Bad News first: I’ve had a few computer problems which resulted in my absence from the forums the last week or two (maybe longer?) As a result all my pics and story was swept away into the dark abyss, which is conveniently placed next to the dark muse.
Good News second: I was able to recover about half of the story but none of the pics have turned out. I’m going to do another sweep sometime this week to see if more pics/story can be recovered. As a result I'll have to rewrite about half of the story but you shouldn't notice any difference outside of the very likely weak pics coming up this weekend.
Look for an update this weekend.
Now for those involved in the ACA’s, expect me to finish filling out my card by the end of today. Since I haven’t been around much recently, I’ll see how much I can fill in.
I’m not sure if this is a compliment or not. Granted I could’ve edited it beyond the basic grammar and spelling but that severely cuts into my Paradox playing time. In what ways is it inferior? Is it the style?
I agree with you on the bold. I first discovered how much this helps in coz1's recent AAR. Nowadays if a narrative doesn’t have its writing in bold I don’t bother reading it online (although if its good enough I might print it out every couple of chapters.)
I’m going to have to reread what I’ve already written but I will say that everything will be explained as far as being sucked into the book is concerned. Have no fears because I believe no stone has been left unturned. I’ll do everything I can to stay away from loose ends.
Bad News first: I’ve had a few computer problems which resulted in my absence from the forums the last week or two (maybe longer?) As a result all my pics and story was swept away into the dark abyss, which is conveniently placed next to the dark muse.
Good News second: I was able to recover about half of the story but none of the pics have turned out. I’m going to do another sweep sometime this week to see if more pics/story can be recovered. As a result I'll have to rewrite about half of the story but you shouldn't notice any difference outside of the very likely weak pics coming up this weekend.
Look for an update this weekend.
Now for those involved in the ACA’s, expect me to finish filling out my card by the end of today. Since I haven’t been around much recently, I’ll see how much I can fill in.
Qorten said:
I’m not sure if this is a compliment or not. Granted I could’ve edited it beyond the basic grammar and spelling but that severely cuts into my Paradox playing time. In what ways is it inferior? Is it the style?
I agree with you on the bold. I first discovered how much this helps in coz1's recent AAR. Nowadays if a narrative doesn’t have its writing in bold I don’t bother reading it online (although if its good enough I might print it out every couple of chapters.)
aldriq said:
I’m going to have to reread what I’ve already written but I will say that everything will be explained as far as being sucked into the book is concerned. Have no fears because I believe no stone has been left unturned. I’ll do everything I can to stay away from loose ends.
That was a compliment. Keep in mind we have an accomplished writer in our midst with Lord Durham, so ranking you somewhere up there isn't bad at all, is it?
He doubted he could ever get used to descending into this other world, or being sucked back into the one he knew so well. Human awareness told him he was alone which was the best situation for him so he could gather his senses. The sun was shining through, canvases laid all about, some which had been filled and others that had yet to be touched but the most troubling of things was the passing of time. And he wondered exactly how much time had passed since he had left and returned. A few days? Or was it equal to the amount of time he was in the real world? Either way, it was clear this body carried out János’ probable actions when he wasn’t there to guide the form day by day.
Remembering Khayr ad-Din’s words, János stood slowly and moved his arms to ensure they’d work just in case Khayr was lying to him. János was pleasantly surprised to find himself in working order as he walked toward his balcony and looked out.
A contented smile grew across his face as he watched the people coming and going just as they would any other century. The ornamentation along the gates hadn’t hurt his eyes either although, he supposed, this gate was likely dressed up more than the others since it was in his line of sight. After a few minutes of watching, he noticed a trail of camels entering through the gates. Even for János, who’d never so much as seen the desert, thought this was odd.
Turning his attention away from the scene and back onto his room he saw the door to the hall was wide open. Fouad was standing in the opening.
“Are you ready for our trip tomorrow?” Fouad casually asked.
“Is that why those camels are here?” János questioned. He heard stories about their spitting and their stench and was having no desire to ride with them.
“For what other reason would we bring so many camels?”
“Couldn’t you find horses instead?” János asked, trying to get away from the camel idea.
Fouad shook his head, negatively responding, “Camels are easier and cheaper for us to bring. You’ve never expressed this strangeness before. Are you having reservations about this trip?”
“No, no,” János spoke. Taking in a breath of air he let it out smoothly as he considered whether he ought to give in to curiosities. “Where am I headed?”
Fouad paused. “You’re going to meet Chief ‘Uthman in Tunisia to thank him for his daughter. As I understand it there is no dowry because you’re not marrying her but we’re bringing a gift just the same. Coming with you will be Farid and myself. You’re going to be escorted by one of Farid’s infantry units and we’ll be there in a few months. As the new Chief of the Navy I requested to Farid that we go over the water and cut our time in half but Farid doesn’t want it that way.” Fouad stopped. “Are you alright, Dey?”
János was perspiring more than the heat demanded but he was able to maintain his balance. “Farid was right. Over land is better. Without a navy there’s nothing to protect us from pirates, correct?” János was only guessing.
“Correct,” Fouad responded. “But I’m sure if we could contact Saïd, he’d be willing to commit to a brief escort if we forgive his monthly percentage.”
“Over land is better. The fewer pirates, the better.”
“Dey,” Fouad explained. “There are dangers on land as well. We could run into bandits, pirates could consider raids on shore not to mention the cost of transporting an entire army from here to there. This is supposed to be a welcoming mission, Dey. If we show upon Chief ‘Uthman’s doorstep with one or two thousands soldiers, what is he to think?”
“He drinks most of the time, doesn’t he?” János rhetorically asked as beads of sweat raced down his skin. “He won’t know what to think. We’ll be able to explain before anything happens. Or we could send a messenger! Yes! Let’s send a messenger ahead and inform Chief ‘Uthman about what we’re doing.”
“Are you sure everything is well?” Fouad asked.
“Everything’s fine,” János answered. “We’ll go over land and everything will be fine.”
“But it will cost so much.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’ll find, um, the treasurer -“
“-Hamad.”
“Yeah, Hamad,” János spoke hastily, “and he’ll make it work. I’m the leader, yes? We can make this work.”
“If that’s your sole desire,” Fouad spoke regretfully. “Are you planning to keep Nijma here? It would help reduce the costs of this very expensive trip.”
As the subject began changing the color crawled back into János’ face, “She can stay here. There’s no reason for her to come.”
Fouad grinned unnaturally, “I thought convincing you to have her stay here would be the more difficult conversation. She will not be happy.”
“Happy? She never spoke highly of her home.”
“As far as I know you’re right. But what you must remember is one very important thing.”
“Which is?” János asked, sitting in one of the many chairs littering the room.
“Its her home. No matter where we go or what we do, home will always be home. It will always be in our hearts somewhere even if there were nothing good that came from it. Some can leave it and never return but that is something that becomes easier with time. Nijma has only been severed from it for a short time. This new land has become a great thing for her and she’s fallen in love with it. This type of thing is most common between soldiers on bordering countries but a transfer of royal blood from one place to another can have the same effect.”
“If she hated it so much then she would not want to return.”
Fouad gave another grin. “If she hated it so much then she would want to return. Because she was treated poorly, she’ll want to show how much better off she is.”
“That’s what fathers usually want,” János responded, briefly forgetting himself.
“Not this one. Not one who cared so little that he didn’t bother to marry her off. She’ll spend the rest of her life serving you because her father told her to.”
“You make it sound so brutal.”
“Forgive me for speaking of the way things are.”
“You don’t think its right?” János inquired.
“It is not my job to think about those matters. My specialty is knowing the conduct and actions of foreign countries and offering my advise when they change. Only in those matters do I permit myself to think.”
János grimaced. It seemed his character had surrounded himself with a pile of ‘yes men.’ He wondered to what extent were they afraid to speak? Did they not offer him certain advice if they thought they’d be reprimanded for their conduct? And if János actively campaigned to find new people, would those new people be as subservient? Would they call him out on his eccentricities should he ask questions like ‘What are the camels for?’ Maybe they’d make an attempt to change his course, effectively taking his ability to wield control over the nation, a crime which he would surely be punished for once he returned to 1981.
“So what did you come here to tell me?” János asked, still sitting on the edge of his seat.
“Nothing other than making sure you were prepared for the trip and hope that you’d change your mind about taking Camel Road.”
“That’s what its called?” János spoke, surprised. And before he could reach out to rectify his ignorance about a road he ought to know, Fouad broke in with a proud smile.
“Well, that’s what I call it. And why not call it Camel Road? More camels walk on it than people.”
János’ eye twitched, “Isn’t that because people ride on their camels?”
“Most,” Fouad maintained his expression. “Nothing gets by you, Dey.”
As Fouad reached for the door to draw it to a close János called out, “Before you leave.”
“Yes?”
“Bring Nijma to me.”
“Are you going to tell her to stay here?” Fouad spoke, still riding high on his altered mood.
János looked at him sternly, speaking just the same, “I thought it wasn’t your business to know.”
Fouad swung himself back into reality, “Right you are, Dey. I’ll bring her in.”
Wiping away the sweat with his sleeve, János felt as though he’d just escaped death. He’d do nearly anything to avoid getting on another ship including impoverish his people, whether he thought they were real or not.
Needing something to calm his nerves, János hurriedly moved toward the balcony, pushing the curtains further apart and tying them against the walls. Then he pulled a canvas close to the edge while remaining inside his room. A chair followed, along with a set of paints he sat beside him upon a desk. Reaching for the brush he humored himself as he briefly wondered what they used to make the bristles. Camel tail?
As he started painting the scene he saw outside he felt his nerves calming as they had when he first picked up a pen along the Adriatic. What he was seeing wasn’t exactly a shore but it’d have to do until he found one. He hoped the capital of Tunisia was close enough to the port so he could paint something proper for the period, perhaps when he returned and escaped, paint something that no artist could: An accurate depiction of the Tunisian ports in the 1450's. While he was chiefly a mannerism styled painter he almost never painted people; it was said in El Periódico de Catalunya that this was the reason the style was returning. And János Takács was to thank for it.
At this point János was smiling through the reflections in his mind. The past was always sweeter - or more bitter - than remembered. And for the moment he was lost in his pleasant world. Until he heard the door creaking open and Nijma’s voice dismissing someone.
János didn’t turn, instead he waited for Nijma to come behind him. He could hear her soft breaths filling and leaving her lungs as he continued to work on the canvas in front of him. Nijma surprised him by not saying anything, the only sounds filtering through the room were that of the Mediterranean breeze and the strokes of his paintbrush. At last János set down his project, his hands in need of a rest, and spun on his chair.
She was dressed down in a long tunic of dupioni silk that swept along the floor. His curiosity tugged at him, wondering if she’d wear anything underneath. Anything more and the heat would surely be unbearable. János let his mind wander but Nijma wasn’t going to let it.
“You called me?” she spoke firm, folding her arms.
János silently cursed the constraints of the previous centuries as he faced her, “Fouad recommended that I call you here to tell you about the trip. Fouad seems to think that you’d want to go.”
“I do.”
János’ eyes grew. “But the way you talk about that place. You made it sound as though you never want to go back. Why the turnaround?”
Nijma shook her head. “It isn’t a turnaround, its my home.”
“Your past there wasn’t a good one.”
She sighed. “I know its unbecoming and I shouldn’t say such things but there’s little for me to do here. Under my father I was permitted a regency when he left and command over the capital whenever he had been a bad Muslim the night before. He might’ve thought he ran the country but he didn’t. My time spent here is a repetition of things I did yesterday. I wake up, get ready and wait for you to call me. If you do, I spend my time watching you paint. If I don’t then I sit there waiting for the palace girls to come for me, to beautify me for the Dey. Something which you don’t even notice, you’re so caught up in those ridiculous looking beaches. Or when you paint that gate for the fifteenth time, how can you stand it? It’s the same repetition I go through but you choose to go through it.”
János marveled at how the conversation turned as he tried twisting his head around her curt explanation. If it could be called that. He took a moment for himself before he brought allowed an answer, “It’s a different time of the day. And it’s the only thing I can see through this window.”
“He also told me you didn’t want me to come along. ‘It’d cost too much,’ he said but he went on to mention that you were bringing those paints. They can’t be cheap to bring.”
“You’re nitpicking. It isn’t safe for you to go.”
“It isn’t anymore safe for you to go,” she answered.
“I’ll be protected by the army.”
“As would I.”
János glared at her, disliking the losing conversation. “You’re just a haram girl. It would seem odd.”
Nijma winced, facing away from János. Her chest heaved with the intake of a breath as she moved toward another part of the room. “It would be more strange if you brought no woman at all.”
She was educated, there was no doubt about that. Perhaps not through the scholastic means but she knew her words, knew how to place them and maliciously butchered them until they were cut to perfection. János could tell that she was going to keep him busy while making attempts to eke out a prosperous Algerian-Hungarian world.
But she wasn’t done. “We wouldn’t even be having this talk if you weren’t afraid to take the water.” She was looking at him again. “Why are you so afraid? It would be faster and cheaper.”
“What do you know about it?”
“It is simple sense. The wind blows faster than the feet of men and the less time you spend away means you’ll spend fewer coins. So what makes you so afraid?”
János laughed nervously. “I’m not afraid. I prefer the land its true, but I’m not afraid of the sea.”
Nijma didn’t answer right away. Taking one calm step in front of the other she didn’t stop until she was inches from him. She removed her hijab, placing it next to the brush he set down earlier and looked into his eyes. Then she raised her hand and with her index and middle finger, sliding them along his brow, pointedly stating, “Then why the sweat?” And in her confidence she continued as her right hand held his left and her left hand pulled away his sleeve. “And why the bumps on your arm?”
He reveled in her touch but jerked his hand away when her point was made. He had nothing to say.
“Did you nearly drown when you were a child?” Nijma spoke tenderly.
“It isn’t important. This has nothing to do with you going to Tunisia.”
“I’m not the one who brought it up,” she spoke softly. “And I’m not talking about it now.”
János became tight-lipped.
“I want to know about you,” she cooed, bridging the gap between them. “What happened in your past that makes you so afraid of the water?”
His mind went reeling. He hadn’t even seen a woman in days nor touched one, not a real one, in weeks. Sure there were women in Madrid but he was surrounded by the suit-wearing, art dealer types. They might as well have been men. Indeed, some probably were. But now he had this woman so close to him he could feel her cool breath passing over his damp skin. As he breathed through his nose he could smell her scent of peppermint pumping through her pores. János believed Nijma was there for him. It was easy to believe. She was soft and comforting whereas in the other world he had to contend with international politics between himself and his paintings or, more immediately, Khayr ad-Din’s demanding tones. János felt as though he could get lost in this world forever.
Then a sadness overcame him. He wondered if she were real and if she weren’t, then what was the point? Nijma would just be a thing stuck between pages in a book. János felt her arms wind around him and her body press against his. She surely felt real but the sadness remained. He didn’t reciprocate her affections while he was caught in his personal philosophical battle.
János’ arms moved behind him, his hands working at hers to remove her grip. At last she took the hint and withdrew her arms to her side but he had to stand and step away to recreate the distance between them.
Her eyes were on the floor as she spoke, “What am I doing wrong?”
“It- it isn’t you,” János spoke, still trying to find basic answers for this reality if it could be called such a thing.
“How am I supposed to know what you want if you don’t tell me? My worth relies on you and if you think I have none, then what am I to do?”
“Don’t worry about it. Its fine. Just do as we’ve been doing,” János said, trying to set the conversation’s course.
She shook her head, feeling as though she had nothing to lose. Her eyes moved toward János’ once more and held their stare, “That isn’t good enough for me. I have to know I’m worth something. I can’t go through these corridors wondering if you don’t like me, wondering if I’ll be allowed to continue my life here. I need your trust. If you can’t tell me why you’re afraid to take the trip by sea then what am I to do? And what are you to do? If you can’t trust me? Then who?”
“I told you, I’m not telling you,” János responded. If Khayr ad-Din didn’t know about his port story then he wasn’t about to tell it.
“Is that why there’s no longer a real navy?” she pressed.
“I don’t know what you want out of me,” János spoke hastily, forgetting his status. “I can’t give you what you’re asking.”
“I only want you.”
“I can’t give it.”
“Let me come on this trip, then,” she spoke. “Let me feel worth. Let me know that I’m not going to be forgotten in this castle and thrown out like stale water. I don’t want you to leave me here!”
János nodded with a slight smile. “So that’s it all along. This was a roundabout way of testing me while trying to get your feet into the trip to Tunisia.”
“No! You won’t tell me anything about you. How am I to know you if I don’t go? If all you ever do is ignore me?”
“I can’t bring you along. It would cost too much.”
“Of emotion? Or of coin?” Nijma spoke. “No one will ever love you if you don’t let them. And you will never trust anyone if you don’t let yourself.”
This caught János off guard as he briefly looked out the window, trying to spot the decorations outside. He was too far inside to see over the balcony’s edge but that didn’t stop him from trying.
“Dey?” she questioned.
He turned back to her. “I can’t take you.”
“Take me,” she purred, throwing off her long tunic. As it hit the floor he looked at her, realizing she bore one less mystery. Nijma held her words for a brief moment before she continued, “To Tunisia.”
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Qorten said:
In that case, thanks
To be honest I haven’t read anything by LD so I’ll take your word for it. There’s so much around here to get in to.To all: I couldn’t recover the rest of the chapters but I’ll rewrite them anyway. I also lost most of the pictures but I’ll go ahead and recreate them or, if possible, find ones I don’t have to mess with. You shouldn’t see any hiccups in release dates or anything but I’m writing so you’re aware. Also I decided I’m not going to edit the forum AAR anymore than I have the pdf version. I briefly went over the first three paragraphs of the forum AAR but the rest is a mirror image. It will continue to work in this way with the rest of the chapters.
Very funny... the link to Rick Astley that is
Anyway, I found out that the reader I'm using can also convert any web link into an e-book, so I can convert your post straight away. Technology, isn't it amazing
Anyway, I found out that the reader I'm using can also convert any web link into an e-book, so I can convert your post straight away. Technology, isn't it amazing
The narrative was good, although I'm dissatisfied with the whole update mainly concerning about whether to take land or sea route and why she should be left behind...
Not to say it was a bad update.
So in the 80s....
Shall he try to bring communism to Algeria?
Not to say it was a bad update.
So in the 80s....
Shall he try to bring communism to Algeria?
aldriq: Couldn’t resist, had to do it.
The first pic - under the chapter title - is actually the pdf file for those interested.
Enewald: I agree. It reads like I’m trying to fill space more than anything however I could argue - weakly - that there were two different messages in the discussions. One seemed to be about money and the other about the past. But it really was poor planning and poor writing, not to mention hurried editing.
Communism could be a road to travel down. But if I decide to have Janos go through a communist pull, that means Khayr ad-Din will have to be removed and since I really only have two characters in that world, that action may cause a problem.
The first pic - under the chapter title - is actually the pdf file for those interested.
Enewald: I agree. It reads like I’m trying to fill space more than anything however I could argue - weakly - that there were two different messages in the discussions. One seemed to be about money and the other about the past. But it really was poor planning and poor writing, not to mention hurried editing.
Communism could be a road to travel down. But if I decide to have Janos go through a communist pull, that means Khayr ad-Din will have to be removed and since I really only have two characters in that world, that action may cause a problem.
This Nijma sounds like quite the lady...
Janos's directive is to mantain the monarchy, he'll need a lady to do that....
despite being forced into the book i think Janos will like it better there in the end than with his captors, who are obviously less than savory.
I like your writing style so far, the updates are very detailed and your storytelling is sound. unlike enewald however im loving all this filler your doing, gives a lot more backround and character to well, your characters. from your writing you seem to be setting up several hints about Janos's past that will be revealed later down the story line, so i hardly see this last chapter as filling and more as a neccasary setup and foreshadowing to events down the road. however i could be completely wrong, but i surely cant wait to find out!
Subscribed for sure.
Janos's directive is to mantain the monarchy, he'll need a lady to do that....
despite being forced into the book i think Janos will like it better there in the end than with his captors, who are obviously less than savory.
I like your writing style so far, the updates are very detailed and your storytelling is sound. unlike enewald however im loving all this filler your doing, gives a lot more backround and character to well, your characters. from your writing you seem to be setting up several hints about Janos's past that will be revealed later down the story line, so i hardly see this last chapter as filling and more as a neccasary setup and foreshadowing to events down the road. however i could be completely wrong, but i surely cant wait to find out!
Subscribed for sure.
Jman47 said:
When I was in school I often set up character sheets for my stories but as time went on I got out of the habit of creating them. I wanted to get this story right and know exactly where I was going every step of the way so I re-created these character sheets for most of my characters and even for some you might not see. The drawback is that I’m tempted to write everything even when it has little to do with the scene but I think I’ve done an alright job with it so far. Some of the stuff may or may not be necessary but by giving some of this information, it keeps me from getting Dan Brown syndrome.
Maybe it is filler, maybe it isn’t. We won’t really know until “The End” is written.