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Also in Ashes news, shame on you Australia for allowing someone who has averaged 13 so far this series get 244*. Also thank you England for preventing a whitewash (the last time it happened we could hear the gloating from here)
Still, Cook has hit a few runs in the past. And smith can score a pair in Sydney and still be averaging a hundred for the series :p. Australians, gloating about regaining the Ashes from the Poms? Never ;). *smirks and gloats simultaneously* :D
 
I must say when it comes to the ashes I am completely neutral. All I want is Australia to lose. I don't care who wins (if a way could be found to make them both lose that would be even better)
 
Some analysis work revealed:

If those flasks are shiny-metal? They just 10-glinted to the Soviets and prompted a flasking-attack.:).
Alarmingly that would probably be more effective than any efforts of the actual Slovak army!

The Bear if Brussels is clearly our esteemed Blackaderian General (who's name I can't spell)

How does Slovakia have a book on Romania that goes in to such detail (I didn't know that Slovakia had the written word let alone the printing press) I am assuming that it was a gift from a Romanian diplomat hoping to win favour (he was burned as a witch, should have given a hip flask (full) instead*)
The internet tells me he was General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanay Melchett, VC, KCB, DSO

Gejaz Fritz is undoubtedly the most competent person in the entire Slovak government, possibly in the entire country. As a proper lawyer he has done his research and has his reference books. Sadly he is held back by his strong views on carpet bonding and the whole 'driven mad by writing the Slovak constitution' problem.

Still, Cook has hit a few runs in the past. And smith can score a pair in Sydney and still be averaging a hundred for the series :p. Australians, gloating about regaining the Ashes from the Poms? Never ;). *smirks and gloats simultaneously* :D
I must say when it comes to the ashes I am completely neutral. All I want is Australia to lose. I don't care who wins (if a way could be found to make them both lose that would be even better)
Well that is certainly neutral.

Seeing Australians lose is one way to unite the world.
ja_zps42369c2d.gif


Shouldn't they try to hold out in some nice Transylvanian Castle on top of a mountain instead of going to Bukarest?
If they had a realistic understanding of their own competence and the forces arrayed against them, maybe. But if they had such understanding they'd all be trying to surrender and/or flee the country. I'm trying to get back the mad and unjustified optimism that once characterised the Slovak General Staff.

My thinking was that holding out on a Transylvanian castle will only delay the inevitable a little bit, but holding Bucharest and stoppping Romania surrendering will delay the inevitable.. a little bit longer. Basically there are no good options.
 
Seeing Australians lose is one way to unite the world.
ja_zps42369c2d.gif
Alas, with the Sydney Test about to start, I suspect the world will remain disunited for another 4-5 days yet. ;):p
 
Alas, with the Sydney Test about to start, I suspect the world will remain disunited for another 4-5 days yet. ;):p
We can always lie and say you lost...most countries aren't going to bother to check and of those that will, almost none will understand the result outside of the commonwealth. And inside the commonwealth...Australia loses. So long as England also loses. Which I think can be easily negotiated.
 
We can always lie and say you lost...most countries aren't going to bother to check and of those that will, almost none will understand the result outside of the commonwealth. And inside the commonwealth...Australia loses. So long as England also loses. Which I think can be easily negotiated.
Nah, cricket is the winner! :D

BTW, I play local club, over 50's, indoor and 8-a-side T20 cricket (at different times of the year, sometimes a few at once). My money is where my mouth is. ;)
 
Eureka!!!
I have found a way to have both England and Australia (and everybody else) lose. All we need is for it to rain the entire 5 days (for those of you in nicer climates rain is where white puffy things go in front of the sun and drop water from the sky) then no one has fun, the fans get wet, TV coverage is awful and everybody has just wasted 5 days. A perfect form of the game for Slovakia

Also I propose a game... How off topic can we get without El Pip telling us off

For my opening move, control of the Virginia House of Delegates was decided in favour of the Republicans after a seat was decided by lots. This had to happen because the seat was exactly tied with each candidate getting just over 13,000 votes

Next time on pointless off topic stuff, some people in New Zealand build an island to get around local alcohol bylaws
 
It's not over in cricket until the full number of overs that are scheduled for that day have been bowled!
 
Eureka!!!
I have found a way to have both England and Australia (and everybody else) lose. All we need is for it to rain the entire 5 days (for those of you in nicer climates rain is where white puffy things go in front of the sun and drop water from the sky) then no one has fun, the fans get wet, TV coverage is awful and everybody has just wasted 5 days.
Unless it rains, or gets to dark
All that talk of rain, getting too dark early, etc ... you’d think that might have been a Kiwi suggesting it! ;) I played a game yesterday in Canberra in 38c. They are forecasting temps in (outer western) parts of Sydney today of up to 45c! :eek: I don’t think the Poms are going to get much rain to save them from another roasting in the field. Though it shouldn’t get over 40 at the SCG, being nearer the coast :p
 
38c, Jesus the hottest we have ever had it here (that I can remember anyway) was 36c, and it was hell. No one could get to sleep until 1:00am (when it finally cooled down). 38c let alone 45c must be murder (but I would argue that heat is worse here because no one has air conditioning, you don't need it 99% of the time)
 
38c, Jesus the hottest we have ever had it here (that I can remember anyway) was 36c, and it was hell. No one could get to sleep until 1:00am (when it finally cooled down). 38c let alone 45c must be murder (but I would argue that heat is worse here because no one has air conditioning, you don't need it 99% of the time)
Agreed! And it was hotter at the SCG that day. :eek: At least such temperatures wouldn’t melt the bitumen in Bratislava- I’m assuming they don’t have the tech for it. ;)
 
Oh boy, sounds like the australians are melting again
 
Oh boy, sounds like the australians are melting again
:D We were fine - just got baked a bit harder. It was the poor English cricket team that melted (on-field - ie in the sun - temps up into the mid-50s on one day)! :oops: Play on.
 
29th October 1944
29th October 1944

We return to Bratislava where things have been quiet, too quiet for Tiso and Tuka's liking. The easily fatigable duo are in the Supreme Command Shed when a buzz goes through the assembled staff officers, there is news from the west!

General Kubela had drawn the short straw and walked over to Tiso and Tuka to explain the news.

"General Juranec is pleased to announce he has arrived in Clermont and rallied his division there." Kubela announced.

"And that was what all the fuss was about?" Tuka tried raising an eyebrow, but instead contorted his face terribly.

"Not quite." Kubela tried, and failed, to keep his mind on the briefing.

"So what was it then?" Tiso asked, resolutely not looking at his colleague.

"When Juranec arrived he was attacked by the Canadians." General Malar joined the briefing, giving time for his colleague to recover.

t2PLHhk.jpg

That's quite a warm welcome, the 2nd (Slovak) (Division) have only just finished retreating to Clermont. Still ,at least they weren't overrun like the 1st (Original and Best) Division were in Italy.

"We did think he had a chance of holding them off." Kubela admitted.

"Despite the Canadians having those terrifyingly modern tanks?" Tiso scoffed.

"Yes, because the Canadians were led by General Kitching and he is an utter liability. He attacked at night, during a massive storm and with nor preparation." Kubela explained.

GAiFsx3.jpg

Napoleon never said "Don't ask if a general is skilful, ask if is he lucky." Neither did Cardinal Mazarin, but Mazarin did say something remarkable similar in French. Juranec is once again facing the very worst General that the enemy has to offer, so is clearly very lucky.

"And?" Tiso prompted.

Worried that Tuka would try to raise his eyebrow again, with terrible consequences, Kublea rushed to explain.

"It turns out that even an utterly useless General can win if the enemy is utterly disorganised and doesn't have a weapon capable of hurting his tanks."

"We couldn't even hurt those Canadians?!" Tuka screamed.

"Well we could of called them rude names, said nasty things about maple syrup or pointed out how silly ice hockey is." Malar offered.

"But we couldn't actually do anything about their Comet tanks." Kubela added.

RaMRx0n.jpg

For all Juranec's luck he wasn't actually any good and so still lost. In hindsight the fact it was French figures promoting this luck based general selection system should have been a warning.

"Juranec has started retreating again, he will let us know when he gets to his destination." Kubela finished the briefing.

While Tuka loudly discussed the failings of the Slovak army's anti-tank doctrine, starting with the fact it hadn't got one, Tiso reflected that, in the absence of any decent anti-tank weapons, it didn't really matter. Pleased to have solved that problem, he reached for his hipflask.

--
Notes:
In OTL Major General Kitching was commander of 4th Canadian Armoured Division. He had a bad Normandy Campaign, cocked up his part of the Falaise Pocket and ended up being sacked. He's definitely one of the worst Canadian generals and I couldn't find anyone who jumped out as worst. After facing the worst US general of the war (Gerhardt), Juranec is once again facing the worst (as in not very good) the enemy can throw at him.
 
Juranec - sets low expectations and then fails to meet them! Not sure if Slovakian military critics should be poking fun at French generalship though. I’d make a cliched remark about stones and glass houses - but suspect Slovakia would only have the tech for the stone part, so the rest of the aphorism may be lost on them.
 
or pointed out how silly ice hockey is.

Not to be nitpicky but "the Czechoslovakia men's national ice hockey team was one of the world's premiere teams for the duration of its existence." and "in the 1940s, they established themselves as the best team in Europe, becoming the first team from the continent to win two World Championships (1947 and 1949)."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Czechoslovakia_men's_national_ice_hockey_team

So I believe already in 1944 the Slovaks were quite into hockey :D.